Today is my 40th birthday. In many ways I do not feel as if I'm that old, while in others I do feel older now. I don't have the energy I once had, and I do have pains in some places I never used to experience. But in a lot of other ways I feel like my life is only beginning. My daughter helps me rediscover joy in simple things like feeding ducks, playing in the water, and pretending.

This last year has been crazy. Only a few days after my 39th birthday I learned I had a lump in my neck that might be cancer. In two months we learned it was cancer and I went through surgery to have it removed. The phone call in which I learned it was cancer was definitely one of the scariest moments in my life; having my wife and daughter in a long car ride in the middle of January was also rather scary, but I was keeping a close watch on the weather so it wasn't as bad as it could be. The surgery did take a lot out of me and it took a long time to recover but I did and now I have fun stories to tell about it. I can say I survived Cancer.

Angie has grown in the last year. She started preschool this last week for one. Her games of pretend have become more involved; most should have seen the TF picture of me playing horse for her. But lately she wants me to pretend to be a dragon, and she has even started playing some of Daddy's games (Nintendo stuff); while she doesn't quite now how to solve the puzzles, she mostly knows how to move the characters around and can often fight the enemies. I use it to help her learn and as another way to play, one that doesn't exhaust me quite so quick.

What do I want for the next year? I'd love to be able to do more writing again, and get through some books I've been meaning to read. I want to be there with my daughter for her achievements and help her learn and grow. I want to rejuvenate certain things I feel I have lost. I want to get back into a regular exercise regimen (my surgery blew this away). I'd like to spend more time with friends face to face.

But I am enormously grateful that I have had the time I have been given, and am grateful for every year more I am given. I just hope this next year isn't quite so stressful and frightening as this last one has been!

Dominus vobiscum