So here's the deal: through what could perhaps only be the hand of fate I have come upon the most insane, wild party there could possibly be at MFF. That isn't hyperbole or hipster-clickbait talking: it's me; and I never lie (except to the government). Read on because I want every last one of you at this thing. I've got all the information AND I've preemptively answered every possible excuse for not showing up.

So Midwest Fur Fest is approaching (if you're going then you already know) and it falls upon the same weekend as "ROAD RAGE: CHICAGO – DICK MASTERSON’S INTERNATIONAL JASS FESTIVAL". I know what you're thinking "Bone this has nothing to do with furry and that is literally the entire scope of my interests". Well if you haven't already tabbed out then let me fill you in:

1. What is "The Dick Show"?

It's a podcast (listen here: http://thedickshow.com/ ) that has millions of downloads and is supported by one of the most successful Patreons of all time (https://www.patreon.com/thedickshow/posts if you don't believe me). It is hosted by Dick Masterson who is one of my personal heroes. He is the writer of the book "Men are Better than Women" (DUMB IDIOT DROOL ALERT: it's hilarious, calm down), was a former host on "The Biggest Problem in the Universe", and is all around one of the funniest dudes in the world.

2. What does this have to do with MFF?

Nothing and everything. Dick mentions furries all the time on the show and is genuinely curious about the subculture, even going so far as to have had furries guest on the show. When I first found out about the show being in Chicago the same week as MFF I planned to go and told Dick on Twitter that it was the same week as MFF. He responded and told me to "for real, bring your furs" (here's the tweet: https://twitter.com/Boneitis/status.....31712594694144 ) . I told him I'd try and since then he's ACTUALLY stated that furries will be at the show ( https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNel-hPU8AQ4gGJ.jpg ) and, although he's since been banned from twitter (every actually interesting/funny person is) he's even been supportive of the idea on Gab: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNe-5DeVoAAhOP_.jpg . He want us there!

3. How do you know this party will be so crazy?

This will be the third Dick Show: Live and, if previous entries are any indication, there is a lot of alcohol, rowdiness, and good times going on: http://thedickshow.com/road-rage/philly/ , http://thedickshow.com/road-rage/los-angeles/ I've also been designing a fursona for Dick (a hyena) and plan to print out a wall scroll and bring it to the show: https://twitter.com/Boneitis/status.....27771047907335

4. Where do I get tickets?

Here my man: https://www1.ticketmaster.com/event.....LLO_ONSALEMAIL The event is at the Apollo Theater at 8 PM on Saturday night. Once the dealer's room closes I will be meeting with anyone who's bought tickets and wants to go in the main lobby of MFF. I am easy to find as I am the guy in black with the pink tie. If you CANNOT find me in time (getting groups organized at cons is hard!) just drive out to the Apollo Theater and be there! Not that hard!

5. Why should I do this?

Because it's fun! Because you'll get a fuck ton of attention (ESPECIALLY if you wear your fursuit)! It'll be hilarious! It'll all be filmed and watched by thousands of fans! I can't think of a better highlight to a furry convention than this!

6. Have you really preempted every excuse someone could have not to go?

I've certainly tried! Here's my list:

-"I won't be at MFF!"
Ok then don't comment, instead use that time to tell your friends who WILL be at MFF to go to this! Then you can watch this crazy thing unfold live on the stream!

-"I don't have any friends."
Jesus tits, shut up you baby.

-"I don't like parties."
I know you're very proud of being an introvert or whatever but now is NOT THE TIME! (But seriously, if parties actually make you dizzy just tell some of your friends like to party hardy)

-"I can't afford it."
You're going to a furry convention, you can spare twenty more bucks. If you can't then you probably shouldn't be going to a con, very irresponsible!

-"I don't like Dick Masterson, I saw him on Dr. Phil eight years ago and he was mean!"
That was a joke you idiot, what are you: a Maddox fan?

-"I'm already going to a different party that night!"
Get that party to merge with this one! This one will be better!

-"I need a ride!"
I'll drive as many people as I can in my truck, fursuiters get priority access though. I want your fuzzy asses there! I'll be continuing to organize rides as the event approaches. If you CAN drive yourself please do, and please be willing to help other furs out!

-"I have [issue] with [weirdly arbitrary, personal thing that Bone has absolutely no control over]"
Then I don't want your sensitive ass around, stay home!

-"[convoluted, janky question from a contrarian just trying to prove that I didn't preempt EVERY excuse, not actually trying to solve an issue.]"
Fuck off.


Anyhow, I think that's everything one would need to know: time, place, event! If you have a question or concern that I didn't address please pipe up in the comments or send me a PM. I'll be taking lots of pictures and doing a recap of the whole event after the con!

-Bone