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7 years ago
Noble Galactic's FA Journal
The last 6 months I have not really been on my FA
I've also been stressed and depressed and its been just building over time...
(if you are on my facebook, you probably will know a lot more then the vag description here, in which case *hugs*)
Ever since we moved... I have been depressed, nothing has been going right. and ever since I told people I was getting circumcised. I got harassed about getting it done. and then after getting it done.. I got more harassed and made fun of out the ass.... all the way up until about 2 to 3 weeks ago. (when i reached my breaking point)
After we moved (may)
I was trying to get 3d head prints for my suits. every artist i went to, fucked me around for 2 to 3 weeks. and when you're trying to work and u have people waiting on suits. and your artists and fucking u around.....sighs. I stopped trying to get a 3D artist in August. I tried my self... with much fail. I did get claws, teeth eye sockets all done fine.... its just the head bases...
I messed up one of my commissioner's heads very badly. I had to completely redo it. that set me even more into depression.
This did get fixed. I ended up making brand new head bases to work from and had an artist show me proper portions and technics with many many critters. and so on.
i also changed completely how i do my head bases. because i was having jaw issues. with the mouths staying open. this is now fixed. (will post this later showing)
(I have given up for now trying to get proper 3d head bases to print. If anyone can help with this, or point me to someone who can help I would really love this.)
Ash and I tried to add another person to our relationship (11 months knowing the other, 6-month relationship). It failed badly. it ended with Ash being extremely hurt. and me extremely pissed. because of what they did. that set me more for depression
A lot of family problems... exploded in Nov and Dec. Alot of built up rage from my childhood got brought out on the table. Mental and physical abuse from some family members. Most of the people involved in said problems from childhood. refused to acknowledge it... or accept they did that. So i got somewhat closer because i addressed the problems to the people i needed to. But nothing really got fixed..... I tried a few times to get them to understand... they don't want to. 2 people out of 7 I talked to understood what happened and accepted it. and apologized.
My 30th bday came up in November. I always hated bdays. because everyone forgot mine. This year our one friend kept pushing and pushing that hey were going to throw me a big 30 bday party. I didn't want a party, but I finally caved and said sure. and looked forward to a party.
B-day came and went...... not t a damn thing was done. and not a soul knew about a party. I waited a week.... maybe it was a trick.... nothing >.> that set me more into depression.
I was so depressed i canceled our local pup meet for the upcoming month. and did not go to Toronto Howl, or Pup night for 2 months and doing that just made the depression worse. And i just stopped talking toalot of people for the most part.
I reached my breaking point in December to right after new years. When ass holes starting harassing my facebook, flagging all my content. ALL. pictures and posts were getting flagged or marked as adult or something. when they clearly were not adult or whatever they were flagged as. I tried to fight with FB for a good month. They did nothing.
I was posted blocked a few times on Facebook, first 24 hourse, then 3 days, then a week. I ended up having to make my FB closed and friends only. That put me more into depression. Then more attacks about getting circumcised. I had it... I broke down. I went into the shower. Started having suicidal thoughts. Ash came in. I completely broke down. I told him i couldn't do this anymore and him and I ended up having a long talk... I ended up scaring a lot of my friends on facebook. and i feel very bad about that >.> (posted i hit my breaking point)
normally i ignore all the BS and crap people say but when its none stop wave after wave of shit hitting me. and I don't have a breather to processes stuff.... *sighs*
Ash talked me down and got to me to see again that there just ass holes. that I should ignore them like I always do. And that sometimes I need a kick in the butt, especially when I am feeling like complete shit and see no way out >.> I really hate depression. its like fucking cancer.
I finally said fuck it to FB and made a twitter. @ Noblegalactic (no space)
I am 6 to 8 months behind on my work because of depression and harassment. and I am so pissed at my self for letting my depression get that bad and let all that shit built up like that. and let people bully me and use me like that.
All the work i have done has been posted to my FB. I haven't paid much attention here. I will be updating the work I did here. as well as updating my QUE and all my other stuff i got to post and update
Thanks to ash and a few people. I have been talking to a few business people and artists about how to get better organized. etc etc etc.
I am moving all my boxer commissions into a Friday time thing. So now every Friday I am going to be doing 3 to 5 boxer orders. Instead of having them sit in the queue, while I work on fursuits. there easy to make and do, and not time-consuming. eventually, once I get enough orders. I can train and hire someone on.
Full commissions and other orders. I am no longer taking rush orders. too stressful, I don't have any time to my self. The rush orders I have now will be finished. but I am no longer taking rush orders.
I have forms that have been wrote up for my commissions now. along with contracts. That I will be posting later today.
I have spent the last 2 weeks trying to organize my shit,
So please do not think I am ignoring you I have just had a very very bad last 2 months and a bad last 6 months. *lowers ears*
More to come later today.
I've also been stressed and depressed and its been just building over time...
(if you are on my facebook, you probably will know a lot more then the vag description here, in which case *hugs*)
Ever since we moved... I have been depressed, nothing has been going right. and ever since I told people I was getting circumcised. I got harassed about getting it done. and then after getting it done.. I got more harassed and made fun of out the ass.... all the way up until about 2 to 3 weeks ago. (when i reached my breaking point)
After we moved (may)
I was trying to get 3d head prints for my suits. every artist i went to, fucked me around for 2 to 3 weeks. and when you're trying to work and u have people waiting on suits. and your artists and fucking u around.....sighs. I stopped trying to get a 3D artist in August. I tried my self... with much fail. I did get claws, teeth eye sockets all done fine.... its just the head bases...
I messed up one of my commissioner's heads very badly. I had to completely redo it. that set me even more into depression.
This did get fixed. I ended up making brand new head bases to work from and had an artist show me proper portions and technics with many many critters. and so on.
i also changed completely how i do my head bases. because i was having jaw issues. with the mouths staying open. this is now fixed. (will post this later showing)
(I have given up for now trying to get proper 3d head bases to print. If anyone can help with this, or point me to someone who can help I would really love this.)
Ash and I tried to add another person to our relationship (11 months knowing the other, 6-month relationship). It failed badly. it ended with Ash being extremely hurt. and me extremely pissed. because of what they did. that set me more for depression
A lot of family problems... exploded in Nov and Dec. Alot of built up rage from my childhood got brought out on the table. Mental and physical abuse from some family members. Most of the people involved in said problems from childhood. refused to acknowledge it... or accept they did that. So i got somewhat closer because i addressed the problems to the people i needed to. But nothing really got fixed..... I tried a few times to get them to understand... they don't want to. 2 people out of 7 I talked to understood what happened and accepted it. and apologized.
My 30th bday came up in November. I always hated bdays. because everyone forgot mine. This year our one friend kept pushing and pushing that hey were going to throw me a big 30 bday party. I didn't want a party, but I finally caved and said sure. and looked forward to a party.
B-day came and went...... not t a damn thing was done. and not a soul knew about a party. I waited a week.... maybe it was a trick.... nothing >.> that set me more into depression.
I was so depressed i canceled our local pup meet for the upcoming month. and did not go to Toronto Howl, or Pup night for 2 months and doing that just made the depression worse. And i just stopped talking toalot of people for the most part.
I reached my breaking point in December to right after new years. When ass holes starting harassing my facebook, flagging all my content. ALL. pictures and posts were getting flagged or marked as adult or something. when they clearly were not adult or whatever they were flagged as. I tried to fight with FB for a good month. They did nothing.
I was posted blocked a few times on Facebook, first 24 hourse, then 3 days, then a week. I ended up having to make my FB closed and friends only. That put me more into depression. Then more attacks about getting circumcised. I had it... I broke down. I went into the shower. Started having suicidal thoughts. Ash came in. I completely broke down. I told him i couldn't do this anymore and him and I ended up having a long talk... I ended up scaring a lot of my friends on facebook. and i feel very bad about that >.> (posted i hit my breaking point)
normally i ignore all the BS and crap people say but when its none stop wave after wave of shit hitting me. and I don't have a breather to processes stuff.... *sighs*
Ash talked me down and got to me to see again that there just ass holes. that I should ignore them like I always do. And that sometimes I need a kick in the butt, especially when I am feeling like complete shit and see no way out >.> I really hate depression. its like fucking cancer.
I finally said fuck it to FB and made a twitter. @ Noblegalactic (no space)
I am 6 to 8 months behind on my work because of depression and harassment. and I am so pissed at my self for letting my depression get that bad and let all that shit built up like that. and let people bully me and use me like that.
All the work i have done has been posted to my FB. I haven't paid much attention here. I will be updating the work I did here. as well as updating my QUE and all my other stuff i got to post and update
Thanks to ash and a few people. I have been talking to a few business people and artists about how to get better organized. etc etc etc.
I am moving all my boxer commissions into a Friday time thing. So now every Friday I am going to be doing 3 to 5 boxer orders. Instead of having them sit in the queue, while I work on fursuits. there easy to make and do, and not time-consuming. eventually, once I get enough orders. I can train and hire someone on.
Full commissions and other orders. I am no longer taking rush orders. too stressful, I don't have any time to my self. The rush orders I have now will be finished. but I am no longer taking rush orders.
I have forms that have been wrote up for my commissions now. along with contracts. That I will be posting later today.
I have spent the last 2 weeks trying to organize my shit,
So please do not think I am ignoring you I have just had a very very bad last 2 months and a bad last 6 months. *lowers ears*
More to come later today.
i get really depressed this time of year too. So, I definitely can't do it in any time limit, or promise miracles. I'd like to add it to my back burner of things to do.
So, just give me a "yes" you're still interested, and, post a picture or two of how far you got on your 3d model. Just so I know what sort of direction you were trying to go.
It's perfectly okay to post your fails. :)
Even if I find I can't help you, you might find someone who can give you a few pointers on modeling.
YOLO.