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Annual Reflection 2018
8 years ago
I was going to write a draft before doing this, but after thinking about it and researching around my thoughts about my artistic endeavor, I think I have enough to write as I go along.
The past four months dominated my improvements and my mindset over art. I've recently completed over 2000 gesture practices which made me a lot more comfortable drawing from reference photos and drawing more freely. Last month, I started an anatomy course. Last week, I enrolled into two art courses at the Rhode Island School of Design. I could notice differences in my drawings being marginally better.
Around the same time of starting the gesture practices, I began to compare myself to other artists. I researched heavily about this and heard a lot that I shouldn't. The conclusion I came up for myself is that it's a double edged sword. I can do it to find useful things from other artists for my own works and I can also devalue my own work when it doesn't satisfy me. It turned out that I was doing the latter much more than the former. I feel down that I can't do well as other artists I look up to and it's hard to look at other works without envy. I stopped supporting a few artist on Patreon and won't commission artists anymore because it feels like I'll be helping them to be better than me. My inboxes gets filled because I don't want to get upset seeing other works. I know that I shouldn't compare myself to others at this point, but I can't stop. It's not easy as turning off a light switch. Everyday, I go knowing that the artists I follow can outperform me and their works are always better than mine. The past four months were depressing. An amateur artist myself don't deserve the merits and accomplishments like they have.
Between starting on day one and four months ago, my drawings were too stiff, have perspective problems and incorrect proportions. I've been drawing from Imagination for the most part and I've just realized that I was doing it wrong. Drawing without reference usually means disaster and it pretty much sums up the first eight months of my first drawing year. The worst part was that my improvements were too slow than it should be. I took only one drawing course which I didn't finish and that was it for a semi formal education. In my fall semester of college, I took an art design class and barely learned anything. I was stuck in rut and I feel like an idiot.
If my first year of drawing sounds negative, then it means that it is true. My effort and works aren't worth anything. I feel like an incompetent and undeserving artist. The best thing I can do is just to not give up. Hard work and mass production are the backbone of success.
Just today, I found something while reading on reddit about entrepreneurship. There was a post mentioning about fruitless effort. The paraphrase was that endeavor can yield no feedback and rewards even if it was repeated several times, but it might on the next one. This is something I will settle on as I continue on my second year of art. I just have to keep going even if i come out empty handed.
The past four months dominated my improvements and my mindset over art. I've recently completed over 2000 gesture practices which made me a lot more comfortable drawing from reference photos and drawing more freely. Last month, I started an anatomy course. Last week, I enrolled into two art courses at the Rhode Island School of Design. I could notice differences in my drawings being marginally better.
Around the same time of starting the gesture practices, I began to compare myself to other artists. I researched heavily about this and heard a lot that I shouldn't. The conclusion I came up for myself is that it's a double edged sword. I can do it to find useful things from other artists for my own works and I can also devalue my own work when it doesn't satisfy me. It turned out that I was doing the latter much more than the former. I feel down that I can't do well as other artists I look up to and it's hard to look at other works without envy. I stopped supporting a few artist on Patreon and won't commission artists anymore because it feels like I'll be helping them to be better than me. My inboxes gets filled because I don't want to get upset seeing other works. I know that I shouldn't compare myself to others at this point, but I can't stop. It's not easy as turning off a light switch. Everyday, I go knowing that the artists I follow can outperform me and their works are always better than mine. The past four months were depressing. An amateur artist myself don't deserve the merits and accomplishments like they have.
Between starting on day one and four months ago, my drawings were too stiff, have perspective problems and incorrect proportions. I've been drawing from Imagination for the most part and I've just realized that I was doing it wrong. Drawing without reference usually means disaster and it pretty much sums up the first eight months of my first drawing year. The worst part was that my improvements were too slow than it should be. I took only one drawing course which I didn't finish and that was it for a semi formal education. In my fall semester of college, I took an art design class and barely learned anything. I was stuck in rut and I feel like an idiot.
If my first year of drawing sounds negative, then it means that it is true. My effort and works aren't worth anything. I feel like an incompetent and undeserving artist. The best thing I can do is just to not give up. Hard work and mass production are the backbone of success.
Just today, I found something while reading on reddit about entrepreneurship. There was a post mentioning about fruitless effort. The paraphrase was that endeavor can yield no feedback and rewards even if it was repeated several times, but it might on the next one. This is something I will settle on as I continue on my second year of art. I just have to keep going even if i come out empty handed.
