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Etiquette for People Commissioning Artists
7 years ago
Hi there. I suck at intros, so all I'm gonna say is that I've been doing freelance/commission stuff for years, a lot of my friends have too, and I think it's time I ranted and raved about the irritating things my worst clients have done. Truth be told, practically all of my customers have been good people who made the process go by very smoothly, and I appreciate all of the positive experiences I've had with my customers (shoutout to you all!) That said, some of them have been fucking pains in the ass, and as with everything that annoys me, I feel the need to tell everyone about it.
So here's a simple and fun guide to being less of a dumbass when commissioning artists.
1. Read The TOS (And Everything Else)
I know those 5 minutes out of your day are just so totally valuable and important, but listen: the first sign of trouble I see on the horizon with a new customer is almost always that they don't, in some way, follow my TOS. Terms of Service, rules, a do's and don'ts list, whatever it is that the artist has, read it. Read the whole thing, multiple times if you have to, because I can assure you it exists for a reason. I don't care how long it is, if you really respect the artist you'll read it. It both saves time and it doesn't make me instantly see you as a lazy problem child. Also, nobody wants to have to tell you that they don't make something or they can't do something for you only to have you pitch a fit because you got your hopes up about it due to your own willful ignorance. Unless you're illiterate, you have no excuse for not knowing the established policies of someone's commissions when they're right in front of you, and I'm amazed an illiterate person is reading this.
2. The Prices Are The Prices (And They're Not Changing)
Don't haggle with an artist on their prices. Don't argue that the prices are too high or are unfair to you. I can guarantee they won't change their mind or care about your opinion (well, I can guarantee those things for myself, anyway). Doing this just makes you look whiny and entitled, which you absolutely are if you do it. I don't always agree with how people price their art either, but at the end of the day, bitching about it isn't going to change it. If you don't like the pricetag, either suck it up and give them your dough anyway or find someone else to draw your neon green fox. Hardly any business or no business is ultimately what gets people to change their prices, so fight the powa by refusing them your money, not providing them with any kind of attention. And please, before you dig yourself deeper, don't go on a rant about how "they weren't a good artist anyway," we all know you're just assmad and trying to feel like you've won. Because, of course, as we all know, real winners walk away angry and emptyhanded.
3. Send An Appropriate Reference (Or I'll Cut You)
I mean this in two ways. First I mean that if you send me a ref sheet where I have to look at your dog OC's ugly dick, I'll cut you (seriously I'm getting so tired of this I'm gonna edit my almighty TOS or something good fucking christ). But what I really mean by this is if you send me a ref sheet that includes all your character's details... except they're all wrong, or it's the old version, or it's a totally different character then what you wanted, and I just wasted my time drawing a design you didn't even want... I'll still cut you. Keep your reference sheet or other reference materials updated. Have a proper color swatch. Detail any accessories you want. Make sure you're sending the right stuff. Tell me exactly what you want done if you have an exact idea. Don't bother with sending a reference that's useless or difficult to work with. Stop making the artist's job so hard and then complaining when they inevitably deliver less then what you wanted. Artists try very hard to deliver on their orders, why set them up for failure? (Note for all those concern trolling: I will actually cut you, just with my nasty, nasty words. Physical violence is bad.)
4. Stop Checking in So Much (It's A Drawing, Not A Baby)
Oh wow look it's been 5 whole minutes since you paid that invoice! That must mean that your hyperrealistic painting of a duck is done, right? What are you, 5? Do you understand the concept of time yet? Do you know that drawing isn't instantaneous? Are you aware that adults have more obligations then just one drawing? Communication between artist and buyer are not just expected but are necessary to result in a perfect final piece. But that doesn't mean you have to poke your nose in again and again and again and AGAIN to check and see if this thing with a week long deadline has been completed in the first day, if not the first few hours. If you're getting antsy because the deadline is nearing or it's been over a week since you heard from the artist, by all means reach out. But even the quickest commissions I've filled have taken me several hours to get back to the customer, so chill. If you're getting impatient because you want your artwork RIGHT NOW, get a fresh diaper and a sippy cup as you inevitably end up waiting the alotted time, because you're a manbaby.
5. You Get What You Pay For (So Pay More Or Get Less)
We've all heard this, yeah? If you've been living under a rock or your first language isn't English, it means that the more money you shell out, the higher quality the product you get will be. Inversely, the less money you hand over to someone, the less shiny and impressive the product will be. Henceforth, if you want the good shit, you dish out the good shit. Otherwise, you can't expect more then a sketch or quick line job. Since I don't hate myself, I'm not going to spend 7 hours of my time painting you something for a measly $10, and neither would any other sane artist. I could've filled that time with something much more fulfilling then drawing your My Little Pony Let's Play channel mascot, I'm not going to make it any less then worth my while. You have no right to complain that a commission you bought for a few bucks isn't as purtyful as one that costs much, much more. If you're so upset about it, go exploit someone else.
6. Buy Something Or Get Out (Don't Talk To Me If You're Not Actually Interested)
Consider this: you run a store or some other kind of business where people go in and pay for things you have. You do your best to get people what they want and you're proud of it, too. But then one day someone comes into the store and says they'd like something, something specific that you make. You're all like, "Oh cool! Well here's this thing that suits your needs perfectly!" They're all excited, you're all excited, and when they finally say "I'd like this thing, please!", you respond with "That'll be $20, just like it says on the pricetag. Shall I ring you up?" And they do one of two stupid things in response: They either 1) hang around your store for an entire 2 weeks before even acknowledging you again (at which point they admit they don't have the money), or 2) they up and leave and never speak to you again. Wouldn't that be fucking frustrating to have to deal with? Doesn't it feel like someone just wasted your time? Whatever the dropout's justification is, it doesn't matter. Commissions are a business transaction where real money is being exchanged, treat them like it. Don't pussy out and snub me when you realize the price, and don't start the conversation at all if you're not planning to follow through in the first place. Even saying "actually, changed my mind" is better then this wishywashy bullshit. Otherwise I assume you were lying about wanting to commission me all along, and I don't need your business.
7. I Need Money, Not Neopoints (You Don't Pay Bills With Art Trades)
Offering an artist "alternative payment" like art, characters, virtual currency, video games, shout outs, free advertising, a Dollar Tree craft kit, or anything besides what they explicitly state they want in return is a slap in the face. It tells them that you don't actually value their art or their time, you just want your luxury item (which custom art is) for less then it goes for. It also tells them that you don't care what they ask for in return for their services because you're so special or what you offer is so unique that it's equivilent to real actual money. Fuck everyone else, I've got this super sexy hippo OC I'll float your way if you draw me 3 super detailed paintings! This kind of connects back to the price thing I mentioned - don't like how this artist runs things? Go find another, some poor bastard out there will take your colored premade lineart OC for hours of work, because it ain't gonna be me. Also, sidenote, a lot of artists do art as a profession or a job (e.g. yours truly.) We can't exactly pay for things with Steam keys and whatever the fuck Gaia currency is called.
8. Don't Be Creepy (I Owe You Art, Not My Dick)
Nobody owes you friendship or love or favorites or watches or follows or pageviews or anything like that because you gave them money for art. When you pay an artist to draw for you, that's all they're obligated to give you. They don't owe you friendly conversation. They don't owe you their approval of your jokes or political stances. They don't owe you attention to your artwork. And they especially don't owe you friendship or a relationship. It's really uncomfortable being in a situation where someone expects more from you then the business they paid for, and it's both unprofessional and really fuckin' stupid. I'm someone you've temporarily employed, not your bestie or your boyfriend, and no other artist is selling themselves alongside their artwork unless they're an actual prostitute, which I ain't (shocking, I know). It's always nice to become friends with clients, but an artist's business is in art, not being your companion. And if you've started to believe I'm the one who wants friendship/love from YOU because I'm the one being polite, let me shatter that illusion for you: I'm being nice to you because you gave me money, not because I wanna get all up in your ass. (Note: being autistic, depressed, lonely, or just plain being a weirdo doesn't excuse this. Get over yourself.)
9. Don't Be Disrespectful (I'm Being Nice, Don't Make Me Stop)
Might sound weird coming from King Cunt himself, but I mean it. If an artist is being kind to you throughout the process, be kind to them. It really fries my ass to work with someone who talks to me like I'm an inconvenience or a thorn in their side or I'm stupid when all I try to do is put on a professional voice and make them their picture correctly. YOU paid ME, numbnuts, and I'm serving you up a drawing of your edgelord OC, all with a smile. My fucking bad for giving you updates! Oh so sorry about asking if there's anything I need to fix for you to make this picture perfect after you expressed dissatisfaction! Most artists will go out of their way to please you because we actually WANT to give you the best art we can offer. We LIKE drawing for money. If an artist is annoying you, be professional and either get a refund or get through the process and avoid them from now on. Otherwise you're being a bitch and you're making someone who doesn't deserve your bitchiness miserable. (Note: having a bad day, work troubles, anger issues, or a lack of social skills don't excuse this. Grow up.)
10. You're Not The Only Person In The World (Or In The Artist's Life)
This connects in with everything else, I'd say. You are almost never the only person an artist is working for at a time. I myself always have portfolio pieces, personal projects, and yes, other commissions to work on all at the same time. There's inevitably going to be a wait. The more an artist earns from their art, the busier they are bound to be, and that's not going to change by you throwing a fit. Also, artists are people, too. They have lives outside of art. They have family and friends and shitty coworkers to deal with. If they're worth their salt, they WILL make you your art. Give them a little bit of space and time for God's sake. I'm not talking a year's wait for an artist who never responds to any of your messages, btw, I'm just saying that your desire for a drawing of your horse with pants isn't going to be done any better or faster by you being pushy or demanding or rude or whiny or a crybaby or a freakazoid or anything else that'll only slow the process down.
So chill the fuck out.
Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Again, no offense to people who don't do these or even those who have but don't do them on purpose. Being a little annoying once in a while doesn't make you a Nazi, but please try to take the artist's feelings into consideration. Speaking of artists, I'm also writing one of these on how artists can be less shit to their customers so that people don't think I'm just railing on our buyers, so that'll be fun. Everyone is #problematic!
Be well and have a glorious day, and remember to always be nice to everyone who has ever existed ever or else!
EDIT: THE SEQUEL EXISTS NOW, SLUTS http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8858092/
So here's a simple and fun guide to being less of a dumbass when commissioning artists.
1. Read The TOS (And Everything Else)
I know those 5 minutes out of your day are just so totally valuable and important, but listen: the first sign of trouble I see on the horizon with a new customer is almost always that they don't, in some way, follow my TOS. Terms of Service, rules, a do's and don'ts list, whatever it is that the artist has, read it. Read the whole thing, multiple times if you have to, because I can assure you it exists for a reason. I don't care how long it is, if you really respect the artist you'll read it. It both saves time and it doesn't make me instantly see you as a lazy problem child. Also, nobody wants to have to tell you that they don't make something or they can't do something for you only to have you pitch a fit because you got your hopes up about it due to your own willful ignorance. Unless you're illiterate, you have no excuse for not knowing the established policies of someone's commissions when they're right in front of you, and I'm amazed an illiterate person is reading this.
2. The Prices Are The Prices (And They're Not Changing)
Don't haggle with an artist on their prices. Don't argue that the prices are too high or are unfair to you. I can guarantee they won't change their mind or care about your opinion (well, I can guarantee those things for myself, anyway). Doing this just makes you look whiny and entitled, which you absolutely are if you do it. I don't always agree with how people price their art either, but at the end of the day, bitching about it isn't going to change it. If you don't like the pricetag, either suck it up and give them your dough anyway or find someone else to draw your neon green fox. Hardly any business or no business is ultimately what gets people to change their prices, so fight the powa by refusing them your money, not providing them with any kind of attention. And please, before you dig yourself deeper, don't go on a rant about how "they weren't a good artist anyway," we all know you're just assmad and trying to feel like you've won. Because, of course, as we all know, real winners walk away angry and emptyhanded.
3. Send An Appropriate Reference (Or I'll Cut You)
I mean this in two ways. First I mean that if you send me a ref sheet where I have to look at your dog OC's ugly dick, I'll cut you (seriously I'm getting so tired of this I'm gonna edit my almighty TOS or something good fucking christ). But what I really mean by this is if you send me a ref sheet that includes all your character's details... except they're all wrong, or it's the old version, or it's a totally different character then what you wanted, and I just wasted my time drawing a design you didn't even want... I'll still cut you. Keep your reference sheet or other reference materials updated. Have a proper color swatch. Detail any accessories you want. Make sure you're sending the right stuff. Tell me exactly what you want done if you have an exact idea. Don't bother with sending a reference that's useless or difficult to work with. Stop making the artist's job so hard and then complaining when they inevitably deliver less then what you wanted. Artists try very hard to deliver on their orders, why set them up for failure? (Note for all those concern trolling: I will actually cut you, just with my nasty, nasty words. Physical violence is bad.)
4. Stop Checking in So Much (It's A Drawing, Not A Baby)
Oh wow look it's been 5 whole minutes since you paid that invoice! That must mean that your hyperrealistic painting of a duck is done, right? What are you, 5? Do you understand the concept of time yet? Do you know that drawing isn't instantaneous? Are you aware that adults have more obligations then just one drawing? Communication between artist and buyer are not just expected but are necessary to result in a perfect final piece. But that doesn't mean you have to poke your nose in again and again and again and AGAIN to check and see if this thing with a week long deadline has been completed in the first day, if not the first few hours. If you're getting antsy because the deadline is nearing or it's been over a week since you heard from the artist, by all means reach out. But even the quickest commissions I've filled have taken me several hours to get back to the customer, so chill. If you're getting impatient because you want your artwork RIGHT NOW, get a fresh diaper and a sippy cup as you inevitably end up waiting the alotted time, because you're a manbaby.
5. You Get What You Pay For (So Pay More Or Get Less)
We've all heard this, yeah? If you've been living under a rock or your first language isn't English, it means that the more money you shell out, the higher quality the product you get will be. Inversely, the less money you hand over to someone, the less shiny and impressive the product will be. Henceforth, if you want the good shit, you dish out the good shit. Otherwise, you can't expect more then a sketch or quick line job. Since I don't hate myself, I'm not going to spend 7 hours of my time painting you something for a measly $10, and neither would any other sane artist. I could've filled that time with something much more fulfilling then drawing your My Little Pony Let's Play channel mascot, I'm not going to make it any less then worth my while. You have no right to complain that a commission you bought for a few bucks isn't as purtyful as one that costs much, much more. If you're so upset about it, go exploit someone else.
6. Buy Something Or Get Out (Don't Talk To Me If You're Not Actually Interested)
Consider this: you run a store or some other kind of business where people go in and pay for things you have. You do your best to get people what they want and you're proud of it, too. But then one day someone comes into the store and says they'd like something, something specific that you make. You're all like, "Oh cool! Well here's this thing that suits your needs perfectly!" They're all excited, you're all excited, and when they finally say "I'd like this thing, please!", you respond with "That'll be $20, just like it says on the pricetag. Shall I ring you up?" And they do one of two stupid things in response: They either 1) hang around your store for an entire 2 weeks before even acknowledging you again (at which point they admit they don't have the money), or 2) they up and leave and never speak to you again. Wouldn't that be fucking frustrating to have to deal with? Doesn't it feel like someone just wasted your time? Whatever the dropout's justification is, it doesn't matter. Commissions are a business transaction where real money is being exchanged, treat them like it. Don't pussy out and snub me when you realize the price, and don't start the conversation at all if you're not planning to follow through in the first place. Even saying "actually, changed my mind" is better then this wishywashy bullshit. Otherwise I assume you were lying about wanting to commission me all along, and I don't need your business.
7. I Need Money, Not Neopoints (You Don't Pay Bills With Art Trades)
Offering an artist "alternative payment" like art, characters, virtual currency, video games, shout outs, free advertising, a Dollar Tree craft kit, or anything besides what they explicitly state they want in return is a slap in the face. It tells them that you don't actually value their art or their time, you just want your luxury item (which custom art is) for less then it goes for. It also tells them that you don't care what they ask for in return for their services because you're so special or what you offer is so unique that it's equivilent to real actual money. Fuck everyone else, I've got this super sexy hippo OC I'll float your way if you draw me 3 super detailed paintings! This kind of connects back to the price thing I mentioned - don't like how this artist runs things? Go find another, some poor bastard out there will take your colored premade lineart OC for hours of work, because it ain't gonna be me. Also, sidenote, a lot of artists do art as a profession or a job (e.g. yours truly.) We can't exactly pay for things with Steam keys and whatever the fuck Gaia currency is called.
8. Don't Be Creepy (I Owe You Art, Not My Dick)
Nobody owes you friendship or love or favorites or watches or follows or pageviews or anything like that because you gave them money for art. When you pay an artist to draw for you, that's all they're obligated to give you. They don't owe you friendly conversation. They don't owe you their approval of your jokes or political stances. They don't owe you attention to your artwork. And they especially don't owe you friendship or a relationship. It's really uncomfortable being in a situation where someone expects more from you then the business they paid for, and it's both unprofessional and really fuckin' stupid. I'm someone you've temporarily employed, not your bestie or your boyfriend, and no other artist is selling themselves alongside their artwork unless they're an actual prostitute, which I ain't (shocking, I know). It's always nice to become friends with clients, but an artist's business is in art, not being your companion. And if you've started to believe I'm the one who wants friendship/love from YOU because I'm the one being polite, let me shatter that illusion for you: I'm being nice to you because you gave me money, not because I wanna get all up in your ass. (Note: being autistic, depressed, lonely, or just plain being a weirdo doesn't excuse this. Get over yourself.)
9. Don't Be Disrespectful (I'm Being Nice, Don't Make Me Stop)
Might sound weird coming from King Cunt himself, but I mean it. If an artist is being kind to you throughout the process, be kind to them. It really fries my ass to work with someone who talks to me like I'm an inconvenience or a thorn in their side or I'm stupid when all I try to do is put on a professional voice and make them their picture correctly. YOU paid ME, numbnuts, and I'm serving you up a drawing of your edgelord OC, all with a smile. My fucking bad for giving you updates! Oh so sorry about asking if there's anything I need to fix for you to make this picture perfect after you expressed dissatisfaction! Most artists will go out of their way to please you because we actually WANT to give you the best art we can offer. We LIKE drawing for money. If an artist is annoying you, be professional and either get a refund or get through the process and avoid them from now on. Otherwise you're being a bitch and you're making someone who doesn't deserve your bitchiness miserable. (Note: having a bad day, work troubles, anger issues, or a lack of social skills don't excuse this. Grow up.)
10. You're Not The Only Person In The World (Or In The Artist's Life)
This connects in with everything else, I'd say. You are almost never the only person an artist is working for at a time. I myself always have portfolio pieces, personal projects, and yes, other commissions to work on all at the same time. There's inevitably going to be a wait. The more an artist earns from their art, the busier they are bound to be, and that's not going to change by you throwing a fit. Also, artists are people, too. They have lives outside of art. They have family and friends and shitty coworkers to deal with. If they're worth their salt, they WILL make you your art. Give them a little bit of space and time for God's sake. I'm not talking a year's wait for an artist who never responds to any of your messages, btw, I'm just saying that your desire for a drawing of your horse with pants isn't going to be done any better or faster by you being pushy or demanding or rude or whiny or a crybaby or a freakazoid or anything else that'll only slow the process down.
So chill the fuck out.
Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Again, no offense to people who don't do these or even those who have but don't do them on purpose. Being a little annoying once in a while doesn't make you a Nazi, but please try to take the artist's feelings into consideration. Speaking of artists, I'm also writing one of these on how artists can be less shit to their customers so that people don't think I'm just railing on our buyers, so that'll be fun. Everyone is #problematic!
Be well and have a glorious day, and remember to always be nice to everyone who has ever existed ever or else!
EDIT: THE SEQUEL EXISTS NOW, SLUTS http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8858092/
and making people a little too afraid to fuck with you helps, haha. frankly the worst cons would be the ones where people try to manipulate you into making art you don't want to or for a reason you don't want to, like if they wanna put it on redbubble merch or something. then you'd better hope to god someone on the other end is listening and that you have some decent evidence
thankfully most of my business is little things that are like $10 each so if someone fucks me over it won't be a huge loss and i'll finally get to write my first callout post about a scammer. delightful!
i'm not too worried about a sudden freezing, paypal's rules can be dumb as shit but they're pretty consistent and easy to follow. if they think you're selling porn, they freeze you (idk how half the people around here have managed for so long without like a dumb customer or smth letting it slip). if you receive too many "gifts" for your services, they freeze you. if you're trying to make your customers pay for the processing fee, they freeze you. either way, i've been trying to keep how much i have in paypal to a minimum, usually just enough to offer refunds if someone wants to back out of a commission. paypal is a terrible replacement for a bank
Relevant.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8391155/
I really feel you with #6, I did a rant about it some time ago on DA. I've had to deal with people who stop replying at various stages of the progress, even right up to the point where they need to send the references.
I even had one inquire about the price, I tell them and they never reply, so I just figure they were scared off by the price. Three months later, when my commissions are closed, they get back to me and says they're ready for a commission. I tell them no thanks.
Had a customer check in daily, sometimes hourly, on a commission he specifically told me there was no deadline on and contained 13 characters. Ended up being finished in 11 days because of his persistence.
Also recently had people who never replied after I sent them the finished commission. I mean, they're not obliged to comment on it or give feedback honestly, but I'd love to know if they actually received it, you know.
i really don't understand people who don't seem to realize that commissions...... cost money? it's always when you bring up paypal or the price, which they shoulda known about because they're. in. the. tos.
holy shit 13 characters in 11 days with someone breathing down your neck about it?? abhorrent. my latest case was two people at once on different commissions getting pushy, and of course you always wanna fill them quickly so you don't feel their wrath, but DAMN. prayer circle for littlehybrid
yeah i specifically try to get confirmation on a commission when it's done both so i have proof they saw and liked the final product if they try to pull anything but also so i like. actually get feedback. i can understand that not everyone jumps for joy over their commissions even if they really do like them, but would it kill you to say something? like a thanks? or a "yes im still alive"?
And yeah, don't be surprised when your 3 character, complex baggrund actually cost quite a bit of money. Had one order a point commission, give me all the details, and then backed up because it was too many DA points. Of course it's gonna be a lot of points when you order a picture worth 65 dollars.
13 character-guy was a friend, so I didn't take it quite as harsh, but I did end up ignoring messages some of the days. I had to do vector ponies, so it wasn't as hard work as could've been with 13 characters and I didn't have a job at the time, so I was able to focus on it. Still, no deadline means no deadline and I have other stuff to do.
And agreed, it would be nice to know if they liked it or not. The other day I did a minor fix on one of the commissions I never got a reply on, and that one has been left read, but unanswered as well, so at this point I'm guessing they actively just won't answer me for some reason.
ugh, i don't even deal with points because of that sorta thing. 100 points is barely even a buck and people see the three digits and they suddenly think it's super expensive
i've been guilty of ignoring messages until i felt like working on the piece again too haha. i've got deadlines myself, but they're always a month long, which is plenty of time for people to sit and stew
i don't like assuming what's going through my customers' heads but sometimes it just feels unappreciative. any reply at all would be better then being left on the dreaded Read
I also state that my work may take up to 4 weeks to finish, I do have work and other activities outside of commissions, but people are usually very understanding and I don't think I've ever had problems with people complaining over wait times.
Indeed, a simple thank you would definitely suffice. Or if it's because they are actually unhappy about it, I would like to know that as well, so I could fix it.
most people don't seem to care about wait times, if only because most people have probably commissioned others before and they're decent people. i like seeing the social media of my clients - i can tell who's going to be an entitled thorn in my side from a mile away
on the one hand, a lack of communication bothers me. on the other, if they hate it and don't speak up about it, they're the one losing money i guess
People are surprisingly patient. I've seen bewares were people waited years before ever even considering asking about their commission. And good idea about checking social media :P I always check for bewares and prepare to reject the commission if I find anything. I haven't had to reject someone yet, but I had a few close calls. I almost had someone commission me right at my artist alley table and I knew the guy had a beware on him. Would've been a bit harder to reject him IRL xD
And yes, true, in the end it only hurts them most if they don't reply.
I also do admit that I have had breakdowns a lot. Not because I "don't care" or "never listen" or just "not mature," it's due to overwhelming stress and sensory overloads. And it can be real painful to deal with something that NOBODY should go through. If these snowflakes start going on Tumblr and put up Artists Beware the day I start, that shows that people are willingly wanting to shoot down anything good. And if it happens to me, it can happen to anyone.
i wouldn't be too sure about people going out of their way to lie about you on tumblr and artist beware solely because they don't like you. i mean, yeah, it happens, but if you're as public a figure as you say and you behave yourself, nobody's going to believe the callout anyway. hell, i've seen people get called out with absolute mountains of evidence and some people STILL refused to believe they'd done anything wrong purely because they liked the person or their work. at the very least, ppl on artist beware are eternally suspicious of people posting with no evidence or without making an honest effort to communicate with the artist they're having trouble with
i wish you luck with your future commissions. just be careful with how you compose yourself and try not to set yourself up for failure by taking on things that will only exacerbate your stress and cause you more breakdowns. then nobody will have any right to talk shit about you