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Shit Still Bothering me After Last Night
7 years ago
Yesterday I get a call from my mother. Most of what happened is hazy, but it at first seemed like another; 'Renee and mom needs help or they need money for this and that situation.' It's immediately stressful. Then I find out whats really happening and I dont know what to do.
Gist was someone was drunk at a party and my sister was the sober one. Somehow she is convinced to help out by driving some white ladies car back to her house for her. I'm not clear on logic or details. Renee was supposed to follow another car out there, but it turned out not to be just down the street or a mile away. They took my sister far out of the Milwaukee City limits out passed the suburbs anywhere she's ever been.
Then the other car loses her and my sister is lost in whitefolksville without her phone or without any directions. She's lost doesn't know how to get home. So she stops at a gas station where she is harassed and harried for black crime number 004; You're in too nice a car in too nice an area. Apparently the people were incredible rude and made my sister very uncomfortable. Which in itself is shitty, but a thing. But apparently some people decided to be particularly nasty and mean to her, shouting out slurs and demanding to know why she was in this neighborhood.
My sister is a world class fuck up. I know that. But she's also raised by my dad and I know how she talks to people. She's 5'2" and is constantly letting other people take advantage of her. Her mistakes are basically shit like this. Doing favors for others or trying to be down or liked and finding her way into to stupid shit. So when she tells me that she doesn't know why they were shitty to her I believe her, no question. And I'm always skeptical of my sisters orle in the shit she gets into. But, I've never known her to talk or act crazy or rude in front of white people. I'm sad to admit that was like something we had drilled in us as children. My family lives in Milwaukee, but are from Pine Bluff, Arkansas. Talking to White Folks 101; sir, ma'am, that unthreatening voice and posture. That was drilled into us. It's funny really to watch how me, my brother, my sister actually change when we address white people to be honest. So I know for a fact scared and lost, my sister wasn't out of pocket.
So when a group of young white men decided to follow her in their cars, harassing and surrounding her vehicle with their own. Basically chasing her out of the area while shouting shit out they windows. I promise you I don't feel like she did anything to deserve that. She one black woman alone in an unfamiliar place and they made her feel like she was going to die.
When she finally made it home, she couldn't stop crying. They call me and she couldn't stop repeating that she was so scared and that she didn't know why they did her like that. She was lost, she needed help and she felt like they were going to hurt her. They laughed and thought it was funny that she was scared and isolated. She was ashamed of herself. Cause she had always thought she was a stronger person. Always thought she would react a different way to that situation. But hours later at home she was still afraid, still crying, still disturbed and mad at herself for being a punk. And I'm trying to tell her she reacted how anyone would react. That's a scary situation for anyone, let alone a small woman all alone in unfamiliar territory.
She says she's dealt with racist pricks and I know she has. But never felt like that. Like that small, that vulnerable. And honestly I didn't know what to say to her. I never dealt with her like that. Practically hysterical. Worse, I couldn't figure out the words to say to get her to stop blaming herself for not being stronger. For not curling up in a little ball and crying when they surrounded her car and driving off. She felt like she ran away like a punk and I'm like, what the hell else where you supposed to do.
I'm stuck between worried, scared for her and upset that she was even in that situation. I'm trying hard not to blame her and say she shouldn't have even been in that situation. Stop sticking your neck out for people. There's a lot more, but the gist is. I'm lost. As a little brother. I didn't know what to say. I never seen her so scared and so shaken even after the fact. I'm struggling with my default emotion, 'Renee in another stupid situation.' But I've never seen her like that. And it broke my heart cause I felt powerless to do anything about it.
Gist was someone was drunk at a party and my sister was the sober one. Somehow she is convinced to help out by driving some white ladies car back to her house for her. I'm not clear on logic or details. Renee was supposed to follow another car out there, but it turned out not to be just down the street or a mile away. They took my sister far out of the Milwaukee City limits out passed the suburbs anywhere she's ever been.
Then the other car loses her and my sister is lost in whitefolksville without her phone or without any directions. She's lost doesn't know how to get home. So she stops at a gas station where she is harassed and harried for black crime number 004; You're in too nice a car in too nice an area. Apparently the people were incredible rude and made my sister very uncomfortable. Which in itself is shitty, but a thing. But apparently some people decided to be particularly nasty and mean to her, shouting out slurs and demanding to know why she was in this neighborhood.
My sister is a world class fuck up. I know that. But she's also raised by my dad and I know how she talks to people. She's 5'2" and is constantly letting other people take advantage of her. Her mistakes are basically shit like this. Doing favors for others or trying to be down or liked and finding her way into to stupid shit. So when she tells me that she doesn't know why they were shitty to her I believe her, no question. And I'm always skeptical of my sisters orle in the shit she gets into. But, I've never known her to talk or act crazy or rude in front of white people. I'm sad to admit that was like something we had drilled in us as children. My family lives in Milwaukee, but are from Pine Bluff, Arkansas. Talking to White Folks 101; sir, ma'am, that unthreatening voice and posture. That was drilled into us. It's funny really to watch how me, my brother, my sister actually change when we address white people to be honest. So I know for a fact scared and lost, my sister wasn't out of pocket.
So when a group of young white men decided to follow her in their cars, harassing and surrounding her vehicle with their own. Basically chasing her out of the area while shouting shit out they windows. I promise you I don't feel like she did anything to deserve that. She one black woman alone in an unfamiliar place and they made her feel like she was going to die.
When she finally made it home, she couldn't stop crying. They call me and she couldn't stop repeating that she was so scared and that she didn't know why they did her like that. She was lost, she needed help and she felt like they were going to hurt her. They laughed and thought it was funny that she was scared and isolated. She was ashamed of herself. Cause she had always thought she was a stronger person. Always thought she would react a different way to that situation. But hours later at home she was still afraid, still crying, still disturbed and mad at herself for being a punk. And I'm trying to tell her she reacted how anyone would react. That's a scary situation for anyone, let alone a small woman all alone in unfamiliar territory.
She says she's dealt with racist pricks and I know she has. But never felt like that. Like that small, that vulnerable. And honestly I didn't know what to say to her. I never dealt with her like that. Practically hysterical. Worse, I couldn't figure out the words to say to get her to stop blaming herself for not being stronger. For not curling up in a little ball and crying when they surrounded her car and driving off. She felt like she ran away like a punk and I'm like, what the hell else where you supposed to do.
I'm stuck between worried, scared for her and upset that she was even in that situation. I'm trying hard not to blame her and say she shouldn't have even been in that situation. Stop sticking your neck out for people. There's a lot more, but the gist is. I'm lost. As a little brother. I didn't know what to say. I never seen her so scared and so shaken even after the fact. I'm struggling with my default emotion, 'Renee in another stupid situation.' But I've never seen her like that. And it broke my heart cause I felt powerless to do anything about it.
like, racist people really boggle my mind. i don't understand people who don't get that all people should be treated with at least a basic human respect.. and i really don't understand people who have to get physical/verbal about it, it's so gross.
hope your sister recovers soon, it's a scary thing to be attacked like that. wish there was an easy way to convince her that it wasn't her fault, it's just that some people are poorly educated, like mentally 4 years old still, or something.