One liners I like from http://just-shower-thoughts.tumblr.com

If Worf grew up in Russia, why doesn’t he speak Russian or have a Russian accent?

Using solar panels to power an air conditioning unit is basically using the sun’s power against itself

If you aren’t confident about your looks, just remember that you look like your ancestors and they all got laid

If you die while making food in a slow cooker, whoever finds your body will have a nice warm meal waiting for them

A relationship is like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave it broken than to hurt yourself trying to put it back together.

“Money can’t buy you happiness” is propaganda from rich people to convince the poor to be satisfied with less.

If Mario Kart had originally had a turn signals and a bonus for properly using them, entire generations would properly use their turn signals IRL

An Australian Disney princess would attract some messed up animals

The “No Thru Traffic” sign basically translates to “There’s a shortcut here, but please don’t use it.”

Today is 6/12/18. Multiples of 6. There won’t be another multiple’s event until 7/14/21

Father’s Day sales advertise tools, lawnmowers and grilling supplies, but if mother’s day sales advertised cooking and cleaning supplies, people would probably freak out

Any stairway is a stairway to heaven if your clumsy enough

You couldn’t mix skeleton and hellhound armies because the hellhounds would just bury the skeleton soldiers for later

All Australian food is technically prison food

Toxic Megacolon sounds more like a garage metal band than a life threatening emergency