One liners I like from http://just-shower-thoughts.tumblr.com

The people who sheltered Anne Frank were breaking the law. The people who killed her were obeying the law.

“You are as useful as the nine button on the microwave,” is a pretty good insult

It’s funny how one moment your internet tabs aren’t working properly but when you bring out the Task Manager they sort their shit out real quick

There are few things that are as pure in this world than a dog’s attempt to cure a flu by lying on top of you with intense focus

They say you’re in “hot water” because it’s what melted the “thin ice” you were on.

Internet Explorer: the world’s #1 internet browser for downloading a better internet browser

Dog Heaven is probably in the same place as Squirrel Hell

The reason we say old music is better than new is because we don’t remember the bad music, only the good

For a woman, a spider in the toilet might be a deal breaker. For a man, a spider in the toilet is like winning the target practice lottery

You can tell a lot about a person based on whether they think the beginning of a certain song is “Under Pressure” or “Ice Ice Baby.”

There is a least washed spot on your body. If you try to wash it, it just moves

Maybe metalheads always seem so nice because they’ve found a constructive outlet for their frustration

Apparently, a lemon is not naturally occurring and is a hybrid developed by cross breeding a bitter orange and a citron. Life never gave us lemons; we invented them all by ourselves

Dancers say 5, 6, 7, 8 because musicians took 1, 2, 3, 4.

Wiping feces off any other part of our body with just paper without washing would be disgusting

A1 Steak Sauce was established in 1862, meaning that in the middle of our nation’s biggest conflict, somebody decided what this country needed was a delicious condiment