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Love and Lust
16 years ago
-- Probably the most important journal about me --
-- OPEN FOR COMMISSIONS!! --
-- Groups I Like --
So I feel the desire to post this rant/explanation about myself, aftrer one of my really good friend's mate said something that got him thinking about things and made him a little bothered. What did that person say? A pretty truthful observation about how most of my commissions and pictures with other furs are always sexual, and when in an RP I'm usually very sexual, and I will never deny that. I am very much naughty when it comes to art and writing, and in real life too if you ever happen to arrange a meeting with me, sex (or at least fooling around) will definitely be on my mind.
I'm not sure which is the biggest reason I'm so sexual, but I know there are a few really big reasons why I am the way I am. I'll start with the simplest reason, I believe that an orgasm is the BEST gift one person can ever give another. It's FREE, it's great for EVERYONE, it is the BEST sensation you can ever feel without a surgical implant, and it shows the person you CARE for them. Quite simply, I am a very generous and caring person, and seeing as how that fits with my philosophy of "Orgasms = perfect gift", I tend to want to make other people cum a lot ^^;;
Another really big reason why I am so sexual is because I was a naive teenager. All throughout middle and high school, I was completely naive about sex. My parents gave me the LOVE talk, but they never gave me the SEX talk. So basically, I never bothered to try and get a girlfriend (or boyfriend) until my senior year of high school when I FINALLY started thinking about chasing after girls, of course at that point everyone was taken except for the crazy ugly girl who nobody wanted and made fun of. I never felt any urges, and I didn't even know I was bi until around 2 years ago, when I FINALLY lost my virginity to a guy after being fed up with not getting any. I was 19 at the time. So I guess my body is urging me to make up for at least 4 years of nothing, especially considering how much I liked it.
Another big reason I'm so sexual is that for the first time in my life, over the past 5 or 6 months, I actually feel sexy. I was completely convinced of my fatness being the ultimate ugliness, despite my complexion being nice, my hair looking good, and being physically fit. I never once thought of myself as attractive, even after I was finally getting some action, and only after meeting so many wonderful people through FA, putting out videos of myself on youtube and x-tube and getting comment after comment on them, and actually hearing enough people in real life and through RP tell me how attractive my big belly is do I finally feel like I'm not ugly. It's like suddenly getting a lifelong vasectomy reversed or something, and I feel free and eager to explore in every way I can the sub-culture of fat admirers...
But to end, I have to make one thing VERY CLEAR about myself, and this is kind of the point to this entry. To me, love and lust are almost two completely separate things. Straight and simple. I always have made that distinction and I will hold to it forever. To me, I can screw around with someone that I don't feel any special kinship with, especially if I'm sexually attracted to them, and a certain "Steel" Dragon and a certain asian guy I know will know what I'm talking about firsthand. But if I say to you "I love you", that to me comes from a completely different part of me than the part that goes around fooling with others and getting images commissioned. I can love someone more than anything else in the world and still go out yiffing, but it doesn't mean I love them. My heart belongs to only about two or three people, and you most certainly know if you are one of them, I've made sure of that.... <3
I'm not sure which is the biggest reason I'm so sexual, but I know there are a few really big reasons why I am the way I am. I'll start with the simplest reason, I believe that an orgasm is the BEST gift one person can ever give another. It's FREE, it's great for EVERYONE, it is the BEST sensation you can ever feel without a surgical implant, and it shows the person you CARE for them. Quite simply, I am a very generous and caring person, and seeing as how that fits with my philosophy of "Orgasms = perfect gift", I tend to want to make other people cum a lot ^^;;
Another really big reason why I am so sexual is because I was a naive teenager. All throughout middle and high school, I was completely naive about sex. My parents gave me the LOVE talk, but they never gave me the SEX talk. So basically, I never bothered to try and get a girlfriend (or boyfriend) until my senior year of high school when I FINALLY started thinking about chasing after girls, of course at that point everyone was taken except for the crazy ugly girl who nobody wanted and made fun of. I never felt any urges, and I didn't even know I was bi until around 2 years ago, when I FINALLY lost my virginity to a guy after being fed up with not getting any. I was 19 at the time. So I guess my body is urging me to make up for at least 4 years of nothing, especially considering how much I liked it.
Another big reason I'm so sexual is that for the first time in my life, over the past 5 or 6 months, I actually feel sexy. I was completely convinced of my fatness being the ultimate ugliness, despite my complexion being nice, my hair looking good, and being physically fit. I never once thought of myself as attractive, even after I was finally getting some action, and only after meeting so many wonderful people through FA, putting out videos of myself on youtube and x-tube and getting comment after comment on them, and actually hearing enough people in real life and through RP tell me how attractive my big belly is do I finally feel like I'm not ugly. It's like suddenly getting a lifelong vasectomy reversed or something, and I feel free and eager to explore in every way I can the sub-culture of fat admirers...
But to end, I have to make one thing VERY CLEAR about myself, and this is kind of the point to this entry. To me, love and lust are almost two completely separate things. Straight and simple. I always have made that distinction and I will hold to it forever. To me, I can screw around with someone that I don't feel any special kinship with, especially if I'm sexually attracted to them, and a certain "Steel" Dragon and a certain asian guy I know will know what I'm talking about firsthand. But if I say to you "I love you", that to me comes from a completely different part of me than the part that goes around fooling with others and getting images commissioned. I can love someone more than anything else in the world and still go out yiffing, but it doesn't mean I love them. My heart belongs to only about two or three people, and you most certainly know if you are one of them, I've made sure of that.... <3
My parents haven't given me a sex talk either, yet, but... I dunno. They haven't really given me a love talk, either. They've just said, "Don't go out and get a girlfriend, you'll regret it". Bleh.
We are similar in many ways XZD I also am very sexual, and for a lot of similar reasons.
I totally agree about orgasm being the best gift, and I think sex is a great way to make others happy and show you care.
Growing up, I wasn't naive about sex... my mom told me about sex when I was 2 years old when my baby brother was born. I was never really sheltered from sex, so I grew up kinda fascinated by it, but I also was so super studious and pressured to do good in school that I never really bothered with sex that much. Actually my first time was at age 13 but it was not much interesting (just playing around with a friend) and I didn't really start being sexually active until adulthood...
I also did not start to feel attractive until recently, and for much of the same reasons.
I also feel the same about love and lust :) It is a really important distinction to me, too. Certainly you can use sex to show love, but you can also just have sex for the sake of sex, too. And having sex out of lust does not mean you love your loved ones less or anything, obviously. :)