*****

Hey there folks.

I wanted to apologize for the journals I posted yesterday. I could give excuses as to what lead me to having this outburst, but I think at this point I need to focus less on the "why it happened" and more on the "how I can make it so it doesn't happen again"

To put it mildly, my mood has been very volatile in the last few months. More so than ever before, I've been prone to sudden and violent mood swings. I'm not exactly why that is, its true that a lot of shit has been happening in my life as of late, but I'm not sure that can completely explain why my mood has been so erratic lately.

First, I will try to establish a list of problems in my life that needs to be addressed, than I will try to come up with solutions to try and remedy those problems.

---List of problems:
-General depression.
-Anxiety due to financial instability.
-Social isolation.

---Possible solutions:

-General depression:
I need to set a new appointment with my Psychiatrist. I've been on the same medication for a few years now without any changes. Years ago, he diagnosed me with clinical depression... We also discussed my mood swings and he came to the conclusion that I had Bi-polar tendencies, but I wasn't full-on bi-polar and thus I wasn't really in need of medications for that specific issues. However that was years ago, and my mood swings have gotten more prevalent, more violent and more extreme since, especially in the last couple of months. I think its time I go talk to him again and get him to re-valuate his diagnosis on my bi-polarity. I will also try to see what options are available for a more regular kinda treatment, including therapy and any kinda social programs that are available.

-Anxiety from financial instability:
I think it would be a mistake to try to go back on the job market right away. Before I go looking for a job, I need to me mentally stable at the very least, or else this might end up hurting me more than anything. I should try to seek out social aid programs and maybe food banks for now.

-Social isolation:
Now this one is going to be the toughest. Most of my friends who I used to hang out with have moved pretty far away, making it difficult for us to do stuff together, plus they all have jobs that keeps them pretty busy and they've all made new friends in their respective areas which they get along better with. I think I'm gonna need to make new friends which I can hang out with in my area... Its gonna be hard, especially with my social anxiety. Additionally, I could jazz up my online social life with maybe a discord server or something. Maybe I could set up some kind of social activity or event that I could conduct weekly with a bunch of my online friends so that it would give me some socialization. I need to think about this, this one is going to be the most challenging.

I need to go out to do some stuff, I will try to post more journals later expending on my ideas and trying to see how I could break my social isolation. Of course, any suggestions is welcomed^^

Hopefully, if I work at it hard enough, I can get out of this living nightmare.

-Wish me luck.

*****