Hey guys, it's me! Back from the dead(?).

For those who aren't interested in my excuses/reasons, please skip the next paragraph but know that I haven't had an easy time of things and I really REALLY want to make things right by everyone I owe work to.

I've had a really rough past few years. For the first couple I was able to keep my head above water, but I sank pretty far down as of late, and it's taken me a lot to try and pick myself back up. My mental health has been poor in general, and I've bounced from job to job, house to house, and done my best just to keep living. One of the things that makes me feel horrible is my backlog. It's long, it's years overdue, and I've become an artist who lets her clients down. I basically have stopped drawing for the most part because I felt like if I'm not getting my work done, I don't deserve the joy that drawing brings me. I have reached a point in my life where I can't stand hating myself this much, and instead of ignoring the problem like I have over the past years, I'm going to do something about it, no matter how long it takes me to rectify things. Ignoring everyone's notes and comments and DMs hasn't done me any good, and the longer it goes on, it just gets worse and worse for me and for you all. I'm going to try to face the mess I've gotten myself into head on, and fix all the mistakes I've made.

That being said,
Over the next week or two I'm going to be contacting everyone I have in my art queue in chunks (I simply can't do it all in one day!). I will be saying one of two things, whether I will be just flat refunding you, or giving you the option to choose a refund or the art I owe you. My criteria for what I say will be simply this: is this a piece of art I can do and be proud of? or is this something that I will be likely to put off? I'm not going to lie, artists don't always like what they're having to draw. Whether it's the character, the subject matter, etc, it's sometimes just not up my alley. It's never meant to be personal, everyone has different preferences and tastes, and that's okay! However, I want to make it easier on myself to catch up, so that I can accomplish this daunting task. So if I tell you I will be refunding your piece, please look at it as this: I know that I won't be able to deliver you a product that I will be happy with, and I feel as if every single one of you deserve my best efforts. If I can't give you my best effort, I would rather return your money instead of a subpar piece of art.

If I have not contacted you by October 31st please send me a message! If you don't see this journal, don't worry! As I go through my queue and remove people via refund/completion of art, I will have more time to delve deep into my DMs and google drive to find every last piece I owe. If you don't message me, you are not forfeiting your right to art, I will find your order and complete it! Luckily I don't have a lot of hiding things, since I was relatively organized throughout my artistic endeavors.

I know that this may sound like bullshit at this point, but I truly do mean it from the bottom of my heart: Thank you. If you bought art from me in the past, thank you. If you waited literal years for it, thank you. Even if you're angry at me, I understand, and I am still thankful for you. Patience wears thin over this amount of time, and I understand it. So thank you. For supporting me, for liking my work, for putting up with this horseshit I've put you through.

I would be livid if I were in your shoes, and I humbly apologize for that. My above explanation is no excuse. It's a reason for me to keep hiding, but that doesn't make it okay that I put you all through this. I am sorry, and I hope to one day grace your inbox with artwork that makes you smile.

-EkBellatrix