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[2018] Back Again, I Guess (Also COMMISSION ANNOUNCEMENT)
Posted 7 years ago= - =Welp... this is awkward.Yeah, well... last time I was here I said that I was gong to hopefully open up commissions during January. ... And then school actually started and it just turned into an absolute train wreck. Through the JAN-FEB Session I had to work with a pair of flaky numbnuts on a group film project that was a nightmare to handle... and for MAR-APR, well.... That's when things got bad. ...
MY NEWSLong-story-short, I realized at the end of April, after struggling with the VFX programs and realizing that it was becoming to frustrating and difficult for me to continue along that track, I made the decision that I was going to switch to a Graphic Design Masters program instead, since that was probably going to be more beneficial in me getting a job after graduating and the fact that it would just benefit me and my work more to know how to use stuff like Illustrator for logo designs and various web tools to build a social media platform. ... Then?
> Was told that I would have to take 18-21 Credits worth of prerequisite undergraduate courses before I could take the Masters...
> Federal Financial Aid wouldn't cover those prereq courses
> Would require a private student loan in order to pay for those classes
> Private loan required a cosigner seeing as that I didn't possess enough credit to get one without it
> Parents didn't want to cosign
> No money, no classes, no dorms... no school.
So now? I'm... pretty much back where I started. Sitting in my bedroom in my parents house, being constantly annoyed and belittled by my family for my failures and lapses in judgement, poor and worrying about my inevitable student loan debt which is only MORE now since I spent money trying to go for a Masters and pretty much failed out. ... Oh yeah, those last two classes I took I failed as well because... the program is just shite.
YOUR NEWSNow I fucking REALLY need to get some money, since... fuck knows my folks don't really want to help me with stuff. ... And I just desperately want to leave; I need to just... get out of here somehow. So. I'm going to FOR REALS this time Open Commissions this weekend. I've always been nervous about doing it because it never felt like it was the right time since something was always coming up, and I was wondering whether to adjust my prices to be able to essentially live off it, but... I guess I can't really waste time now.
I'm not going to open them immediately at this very moment; I'm just here to saying that COMMISSIONS WILL BE OPEN 3PM EST SUNDAY, 05/13/2018, and that, in the meantime, Review the < COMMISSION PRICELIST > so that you can educate yourself on the pricing and what you want.
And... well, I guess that's it. Not happy to be back in the position I'm currently in; basically makes me feel like this entire past year has been a waste of time and money. But... well, whatever. Life sucks. Got'a deal with it.
Take care --
= AVI == - =New Year, New Shiet [2018]
Posted 8 years ago
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Hey, all. Been a while, eh?I'm sorry for being so sparse and silent and... not-uploading-a-lot-of-art-y these past few months. ... Well, let's be honest, SEVERAL months. But that's just cause I've been dealing with a boatload of shit, ever since Spring 2017. Don't want to go into the real heavy details, but... a certain event triggered a very heavy depression back around May, and I've not been in the right frame of mind ever since then. Close friends and those that I still owe commissions to know what's up, and I've been trying to get over it, but... yeah, even though I'm trying to do my best to get over it and have made strides to get myself in a better place - both mentally/emotionally and physically - I'm still really struggling. Been suffering from waves of depression and anxiety and anger and... ugh, 2017 was just not a fun year.
Well, after wallowing in anger depression through the summer and after counseling essentially failed near the start of fall, that's kind'a when things started to 'change'. Not necessarily for the better, but... change.
Part of the whole issue of my depression was because my plans for the future got derailed and I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. I had graduated from school at the end of 2016 and was applying for all of the non-existent jobs but nothing was coming of it; and I wanted to get out from under the thumb of my parents because my family sucks, but my plans to move out essentially... fell through, meaning I was basically stuck. Then in September found out that the college where I got my undergrad was being absorbed into a larger university, and that people who went to that school would be able to take advantage of their programs and amenities at a reduced cost. And unlike my previous college, the university has dorms.
So now I'm in their dorms.
Nice dorm too. Have my own room. Nice and quiet. But yeah, I essentially started a Masters program for VFX back in October, just so I had the excuse of 'I'm going to school; please let me stay in your dorms'.
MY NEWSNeedless to say I'm in a complicated... emotionally tumultuous time right now. I'm happy because now I don't have to worry about having to deal with my family anymore which has reduced my anxiety by like... 90%, but of course now I have to deal with the stress of essentially jumping out of a sinking ship and scrambling to crawl into a lifeboat. And it's not like I'm... STOKED about going to school again. It took me nearly TEN YEARS to get a Bachelor's Degree, what with spending five years spinning my wheels at one university because I realized a year in that I didn't want to go for it, but no one would let me get out so I was miserable and dragging my heels until I nearly failed out, and spending the next five working for a degree I wanted but constantly combating my own depression and anxiety (and a shitty teacher for thesis) weighing me down. ... And this Masters degree is for something that I really don't care for. After spending so long working with the fiddly 3D programs like Maya for 5 years just to do something that I thought was actually cool... VFX... I mean it's neat, but I'm not passionate for it. And everyone I've talked to says that if I'm not passionate for it, then I'm basically wasting my money.
But I don't feel like I have that luxury, the luxury of pursuing a degree because I want to do it. I feel like this is the only way out of a bad situation, the best - if not only - way for me to get out from under this wet blanket of stress and anxiety, by trading it in for another wet blanket that's not quite as heavy. Even now when I write this I still get sharp pangs of anger for being put in this situation in the first place, but then I just have to remind myself that... I just have to try and do these things myself. I have to learn how to not rely on others, at least not as much as I had in the past. ... It's going to be hard. It was hard before, but it's a different kind of hard.
When I was with my therapist, I likened this situation as being lost in a fog, and I'm always too scared to walk in any direction because I fear that I would just fall off the edge of a cliff, if I didn't have someone there to help guide me. ... Well, as something that we ended up describing before I couldn't see him anymore, I'm not going to get anywhere at all unless I go 'Fuck it' and I take a step. ... I literally have no idea if I just took that step that leads me straight off a cliff, and the fog hasn't at all lifted. I have no confidence that this decision will actually pan out. But again I don't think I have the luxury to be confident about it; I just have to. This isn't something I want to do; it's something I have to do.
YOUR NEWSANYWAYS.
One of the good things I hope that comes from this move is, now that I don't have my parents hounding me about everything, looking over my shoulder and whatnot, I do hope that the lesser amount of anxiety will allow for me to work more on art for folks on here. I still have commissions left to finish, (which goddamn it I feel awful about not being able to finish what with all that's going on) but hopefully those will be done this month and I can start on a new set. ... I mean I'm going to have to. I'm on my own now. Got'a pay for tuition and my own food... so I need an income.
I'm sorry... again, for not being around and for seeming kind'a lackadaisical. Hopefully my explanation kind'a cleared up what I'm going through. And hopefully for any of those affected you can forgive me for... trying to live and whatever.
...
Oh yeah, and depression sucks.
Stay warm.
= AVI =
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Hurricane Irma
Posted 8 years ago
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[is in Boynton Beach]
... Yep. Welp. We'll see how this shit goes down.
Fuck my life.
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Yearly Reminder: Depression Sucks
Posted 8 years ago
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Yep. Still sucks.
Sorry for my inactivity but... yeah.
Things suck.
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Price List Now Available; APRIL COMMISSIONS CLOSED
Posted 8 years ago
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Current Commission Price Sheet
< LINK >
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New Year, New Stuff Goin' Down! [POTENTIAL PURGE INCOMING]
Posted 9 years ago
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HEY THERE EVERYONE, LONG TIME NO SEE!
So there's been a lot of stuff going on with me iRL that's kept me from chatting a whole bunch and posting a whole bunch. But most of it was for good reasons and will eventually lead to me posting more because...
... I FINALLY GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!
Yeah, finally, amirite?! I've been at my digital media arts school for about 4 years and before that I was wasting away on another degree for nearly 5 years. So it's been close to NINE YEARS since I started college and I've FINALLY got something to show for it. [/sigh] And I've been feeling really good about myself and everything that's happened thus far. Aside from worrying about job apps I've had a chance to relax for the holidays, and I've made it a point to draw A CRAPTON more than I have been so that I might open for commissions, post more original art and be ready for any more potential clients.
Here's the thing though; I may have to purge a few of my sites.
Obviously most clientele might not be all into the naughtier aspects of some of my art. GRANTED there isn't much because I'm actually not into porn really, but I'm fairly certain that just seeing some junk or some fetishy stuff will count as being weird. (Too bad we live in a world where people still freak out about this kind of stuff.) But needless to say I'll be getting rid of my more "questionable" material off of sites like FA, Twitter, and Tumblr.
BUT, I WILL more than likely make another account some time in the future and repost most of this stuff.
It won't be labeled under this name, and I'm still figuring out the logistics of it. But anyone who might be interested in seeing any of that stuff again - either refavoriting or what have you - will be able to go there and check it out. Just not here; I may even be closing this account down in favor of something a little better but I don't know yet. Also that account will probably be where I actually take commissions, where as the main account - wherever that might be - will be for more personal stuff that I hope you'll also enjoy.
Regardless, be ready for some big changes, and some more art. Might need to do a bit of searching for it, but you'll be seeing more of it.
I do hope you'll like the new changes that will come! Avias out!
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November 8th 2016
Posted 9 years ago
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One candidate is like being stabbed in the back; they will act calm and friendly but they might cause a deep painful wound. It'll hurt a lot and you may bleed out, but you have a chance to survive. You'll have a deep nasty scar to remind you of what happened and your trust in them is left weak.
The other candidate is like being shot in the face. They are upfront with their disdain for you and mock you for trusting in them. You have a higher chance of outright dying from the blast. But if you don't die, you will be left disfigured beyond recognition and with severe brain damage, risking your chances of being a productive member of the great society that is the rest of the world.
Personally I find both of these choices to be horrid and unconscionable, that we as Americans, as people, shouldn't be forced to choose between these two. But if we really are forced to do so, I truly hope that we decide to go for the backstabbing...
because then, at the very least, we may be alive to fight back.
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One More Year 'Round the Planet
Posted 9 years ago
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Oh hey, look, it's my birthday.
Hopefully I'll have many more to come.
=..=;;
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Orlando Mass Shooting [Vent]
Posted 9 years ago
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I'm really getting fucking sick of this mass-shooting BULLSHIT in this country. People need to fucking stop hating other people, for fucksake.
I know I'm preaching to the choir here because it seems that, by default, people here know better than to fall into this stupid mindset. But damn it if you know people that do... DO SOMETHING TO MAKE THEM STOP. People like to throw the term 'cancer' around on the net all willy-nilly but that kind of mindset is LITERALLY CANCEROUS. And you don't allow cancer to fester in the minds of someone you supposedly love. You CUT IT OUT. You fucking DESTROY IT.
... I'm one of those people who has historically been like Stan Smith when he says 'guns don't kill people; people kill people', and I still believe that. And I still believe that; which I believe there needs to be stronger common sense gun control laws, where people (LIKE THIS FUCKER) who are high risk factors for hate crimes as well as other crimes don't get them. ... But if this shit keeps up, I'd dare say that people need to tell people defending the Second Amendment to go FUCK themselves and just fucking be rid of the damn thing! You can't argue for an amendment if it doesn't exist anymore, can you, fucknuggets!
[sigh]
This shit just needs to stop. The United States of America is SUPPOSED to be one of the greatest countries in the world; that's what everyone I know has been saying to me ever since I was little. ... I don't think you should be terrified to live in one of the greatest countries in the world, otherwise... by definition it isn't. I shouldn't feel like I need to run away because there's always a possibility that someone with a slight disagreement will blow you away. I shouldn't feel like I have to abandon the "greatest country in the world" and become an American refugee in Canada. But aside from Carson being there, Canada is looking very enticing right now.
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Does Anyone Remember This Animation?
Posted 9 years ago
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Yeah, I don't actually have any animation to show you fore reference... sorry.
But this has been driving me up a wall all morning since my mom brought up a TV segment about a group that rescues chihuahuas out in Cali. ... It's this really sad animation where a puppy gets bought by a family to give to their son on Christmas, but the kid ends up being more enamored with the toys that he got than the puppy (fuck this kid, right?); and as a result the parents, realizing that getting the puppy was a bad idea on their part, decide to put it in a box on the curb and it ends up getting washed a way in a storm. ... It ends on a positive note, for sure, so that's something, but I wanted to flush the negativity out of my system by watching that animation so that it doesn't torture me for the rest of the day.
Anyone know what I'm talking about? It's an old animation that I knew existed in the 90s when I was a kid, and I know it was 2D animation and not CGI in anyway.
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I DON'T BELIEVE YOU
Posted 9 years ago
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I DON'T BELIEVE ANYONE!
.
April Fools Day. Fuck.
>:S
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Clip Studio Paint / Windows 10 Issue
Posted 9 years ago
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Does anybody here use Clip Studio Paint on Windows 10? Or do you know somebody who uses Clip Studio Paint on Windows 10
I'm unable to find a fix and I've yet to receive any assistance from CSP's support about this issue. Basically ever since the Windows 10 incident infected my laptop CSP has not been working properly, and when I got my new PC that came clean with Windows 10 CSP had the same issues.
What is happening is that the program has what I can only refer to as 'input freezes'. Every couple of seconds, whether you are using a mouse of a tablet pen, the cursor will freeze for a second while you're drawing. This of course will lead you to a lot of Undoing due to strokes that you didn't want, and it happens frequently; it basically makes the program unusable because it literally becomes a 'Two Steps Forward, One Step Back' kind of deal. I've done so many things in Preferences to try to fix it, I've installed all of the updates, but nothing works. The only I can surmise is that it has to do with Windows 10, but I can't find any information online about any similar bugs that people are having.
Am I just blind about not finding a fix? Does anyone else have this problem? Does CSP just not work on Windows 10?
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Depression Sucks
Posted 9 years ago
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Yep. It sucks.
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Merry Christmas from Avias
Posted 10 years ago
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Good mornin' to you all!
Merry Christmas to all, and Happy Holidays as well!
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To Parisians
Posted 10 years ago
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Jesus Christ, I hope everyone is okay over there.
Fucking stupid geopolitical ethnoreligious bullshit strikes again. Goddamnit all fucking Christ.
If you know someone from France, get in touch and make sure they're okay.
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[VENT] Moving Sucks / Thinking About a Monthly Patreon
Posted 10 years ago
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So yeah. I started my break a week-and-a-half ago thinking, 'Alright, I have two weeks off. I finally have some time to focus on finishing commissions and creating things for when my Game Art Thesis course starts back up.'
And then the moving crunch-time started.
So my friends may know this, but my dad lost his job a few months ago, and since he was the main breadwinner of the family, that means that the money he had that supported our current house isn't coming in, so we're forced to downsize and move. And these past couple of weeks happened to be the time where my folks decided that we're going to start packing our things into storage and cleaning up the house for the realtors to come. (Which happened to be today. And despite culling 70% of my stuff, the realtor said that I still need to pack the remaining 30% so that my room 'doesn't look like anyone lives in it.)
Basically this entire break I haven't jack-diddly-fuck in terms of art except sketch out a few people's commissions. ... And I'm so fucking INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATED ... ALL THE TIME that I'm starting to think it's affecting my health and functionality in the real world.
=
And on top of AAAAALL that, I found out that I don't have hardly any money left. So apparently I'm currently not ready to try and make my living on commissions yet, ergo I'm probably going to have to go get a job somewhere which'll take time away from doing commissions and art on a regular basis.... It's a really big blow to whatever ego I had, and definitely a blow to my faith in myself. I'm trying to keep my mood up, but with all the things right now, it's tough.
However something that I'm tiptoeing around is the possibility of opening up a Patreon. I did create an account a while back, but I'm absolutely terrified about opening it up because I don't feel that I have enough of a following or the productivity currently to warrant it. Plus the whole... I-don't-typically-do-porn thing is a hurdle because... yeah, I don't typically do porn. ... But I have been thinking of creating a Monthly one, because I feel I could probably do something like that; I don't know what I'd do yet of course...
I guess I'm just wondering, for anyone out there that has a Patreon, if it's actually a good idea for me to attempt at all or in my current situation. Because I know for damned sure I'd rather do ANYTHING art-related than have some garbage minimum-wage job that I know I'm not going to keep.
[sigh]
I know this is just a bunch of text in a journal that no one wants to read even if they're willing to read it, but again, I feel that bottling up all of this frustration is unhealthy, and I feel I really don't have anyone to vent to. So... sorry for plopping all of this ARGFAFKLPVMSKML: on y'all. ... Just know that I'm still here... and I'm still trying to make people happy, even if I'm not that happy.
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Art Flood! :U
Posted 10 years ago
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Did I go overboard with the postings? o3o;;
Well, sorry about that, kind of had a bit of a backlog of stuff going on here. I think I'm done with the posting for now; hopefully I can get back to doing more regularly scheduled posts!
And I do hope you like what I ended up posting today. I worked pretty darn hard on a lot of the stuff you saw up there. ^..^; Hope you guys like what'll be coming out later on!
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Uh-Oh It's My Birthday
Posted 10 years ago
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[12:00AM - 07/19/2015]
e..e
Eeeeeeeyup. It's my birthday alright.
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Thanks Guys, Yer All Super Awesome
Posted 10 years ago
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Hey everyone.
I know I mentioned it earlier on this year, but I just wanted to come on again and tell y'all how grateful I am for all of the the watches and all the favs that I've gotten in recent months. I've been reluctant to clear my inbox of all the notifications just because of how happy it makes me feel knowing that so many people are willing to give me a chance to enjoy doing all of this art that I've shown off so far. It's been a major encouragement, so thank you so much.
Seriously guys. Thank you. I really don't think a few words in a journal could express how thankful I am. And I kind of wish I could thank you all individually for each fav and each watch. Consider this my personal thank you to you, and hopefully each subsequent piece that I do is a thank you as well. <3
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Sale Commissions Open [10 Slots]
Posted 10 years ago
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Hey'o'hey y'all. I'm opening up 10 Slots for Sale Commissions for $20 each.
=Sketch + Flat Colors=
Sketch Lines as Opposed to Lineart, and No Shading
=Single Character Only=
Only One Character; Future Ones will Probably Allow for More
=Mature (PG-13)=
Pin-Ups and Tasteful Nudity is Fine, but Preferably No Porn or Heavily Fetishized Stuff
=ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT DRAW*=
Scat | Urine | Hard Vore | Gore | BDSM/Torture | Babyfur
*Any other theme will most likely be fine, however I do have the right to refuse the commission if the subject matter is deemed to be too difficult or deemed to not coincide with my personal tastes. I am willing to discuss compromises, of course, outside of the aforementioned 'Absolutely Will Not Draw' List.
Please send me a note in the event that you are interested in a slot. Once all of the slots have been filled I will be pulling this submission down and this round of sale commissions will officially be closed.
Thank you;
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*Sigh* This IMVU Thing That's Goin' On
Posted 10 years ago
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So, I have no idea what's going on, exactly.
I haven't looked into IMVU at all; haven't gone to their page, haven't seen an ad (I've had adblock on my comp for a while now), so I don't really know why they're such a big deal. All I know is that people either don't give a crap, or they think they're Satan-incarnate. I've found myself in the previous crowd because I don't like drama and I don't want it to effect me. My only real gripe right now involving them is supposedly with the Sidebar, which EVERYONE hates as far as I've been able to tell. So doubt with such a unanimous backlash that's probably going to get fixed.
... But I will admit I have been a bit concerned. ... Not so much about IMVU itself, but people's reactions to it. There's a lot of artists on here that I really like, and that I want to follow and keep on following. But I'm a little worried about such artists disappearing to parts unknown; I know that sounds selfish, but I want to keep supporting them, and I'm worried that I wouldn't be able to being as scatter-brained as I am.
And to be honest, I'm a little concerned about my own presence here on FA. I'm not leaving... so don't worry about that. At least not yet. But with my time at my art school coming to a close and the time quickly approaching when I'm going to make the leap into possibly freelancing and doing art at a more professional level, I get the feeling that I may have to... peacefully divorce from FA in favor of utilizing more... 'mainstream' places.
Long story short, I really do hope this rocky road the site's going over right now gets repaired soon before everyone starts bailing out more than they already have.
=
Just as a reminder though, I do have a Tumblr Page, and a DeviantArt Page that I'm trying to build up; I also have a Twitter Account that I'll try to build up as well, probably fill it with random sketches and stuff. If y'all have any other suggestions of good sites to possibly settle in on, lemme know! :)
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Well.
Posted 10 years ago
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Alright then.
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Gumdrop Rally 10000 is Under Way
Posted 10 years ago
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So VDisco Gumdrop Rally 10,000 is under way!
(Kind'a got a late jump on posting this journal on account that I've started a new class that's so far proven to be somewhat difficult.)
Anyways, I've entered with the BLACK LION; there's plenty of entries for this Rally, so go check out the list and vote for who you would like to see win!
.
.
.
e..e
But seriously vote for whoever you want.
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Thank You So Much, Guys!
Posted 10 years ago
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Hey, y'all; here's a little something to get that downer of a journal off my page. (PS, I'm doing a lot better since he passed.)
First of all, I want to give a MASSIVE thanks to all of my new watchers out there that I've gained over the past couple months. I've been so happy and excited about it I just couldn't bare the thought of even deleting the watch notices. Thank you all so much for the support, whether it's direct or indirect. ^..^ I'll be continuing to produce more and better stuff for you all to enjoy.
Second of all, as evidenced in my last journal with the link to my poor pup's passing, I do have a Tumblr Account now that I've been trying to post on as well. This is more of an aside, as for right now I'm attempt to keep things on that a bit more professional, since I'm planning on eventually getting into the business of game art and stuff like that; I'll most likely be creating alternate accounts that may cater to more 'specialized tastes' as it were, as well as maybe start an AskBlog and other stuff. But mostly my NAMedia Tumblr will be reserved for any general commissions I get, concept art, and other miscellaneous things that I might create in the future.
And speaking of concept art, lastly, I would like to know if y'all would be okay with my tossing a few scraps of concept art that I've been holding back because of their unfinishedness. I primarily enjoy doing character/creature concept design (as evidenced by stuff like This, This, and This, and I've got several more scraps relating to other characters. Been meaning to basically show my entire series of 300+ alien designs, but trying to manage the time to get all of those out with my scatter-brained-ness has proven to be a challenge. But I still have oodles and oodles of decently-drawn doodles!
So while I will eventually dump a bunch of actual creature reference sheets, I was wondering if y'all wouldn't mind a small torrent of scraps. :)
Okay! Back to art! Peace!
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R.I.P. Dylan
Posted 11 years ago= - =What a way to start a year.
Our golden retriever Dylan contracted cancer, which I only found out about around the beginning of winter break, and today was his last day here with us. U..U
Every other time we've lost a pet I wasn't around and it would usually come as a surprise; this was the first time I was actually present on his last day, but I couldn't even bring myself to go with them to the vet. I couldn't bring myself to see it happen. T..T
I'm sorry guys... but it'll probably take me a while to get over this.
< http://neosavias.tumblr.com/post/10.....-promise-about >
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