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New me
Posted 3 weeks agoWell, here's some news about me for you: I'm transitioning.
This isn't something that just happened yesterday; it's been going on for a few years, and I'm going to explain the reason for my transition to you now.
I was born with an extra sex chromosome. This is also known as Klinefelter syndrome or 47XXY. And that's precisely the crux of the matter:
Women have sex chromosomes XX, men have sex chromosomes XY. And I was born with XXY.
What does that mean for me? My hips are higher (little body hair), I have developing breasts, my reproductive organs are underdeveloped, and my testosterone level in the blood is too low.
The latter is quite important in the body. Testosterone ensures, among other things, that the bones can properly absorb calcium. Without proper hormone levels, the risk of osteoporosis, or bone loss, is much higher. This means you run a higher risk of breaking a bone.
I discovered I have Klinefelter syndrome by chance. I watch a lot of videos on YouTube, and one time I came across one about Klinefelter and its characteristics. I looked at my own body and thought, "Could it be?"
I made an appointment with my GP. She then referred me to an endocrinologist (a difficult term for a hormone specialist) at the VU University Medical Center in Amsterdam. They took blood samples. The conclusion wasn't long in coming: I did indeed have Klinefelter. In my case, the 47XXY variant. There are other variants, but I won't go into those.
The next step was that I was prescribed testosterone. I started taking pills. After a month, they gave a wonderful placebo effect. I felt great, but my testosterone levels weren't higher.
Then I went for an injection in the thickest muscle in my body... That wasn't a smart move, because it's not really an injection like the flu. Let's just leave it at that.
Finally, I got a gel. That did help. My testosterone levels went up. But... there were also side effects. And those didn't make me happy.
I became slightly aggressive. I became indifferent. And I started growing body hair. And all three of those side effects made my mood plummet.
I took the testosterone for a total of three years. After that, I went back to the doctor and explained my symptoms. I told her I didn't want to continue like this and that I felt like Frankenstein's monster. After all, I had turned into someone I had never been and absolutely didn't want to be. Another factor was that I'd never felt 100% like a man.
She told me to stop taking testosterone immediately. She then scheduled another appointment with the endocrinologist. She also told me that if the appointment with the endocrinologist wasn't immediately successful, she would prescribe female hormones for me.
The endocrinologist listened to my story and promised me that he would fully commit to my well-being. Mind you, there's normally a THREE-year waiting period for an appointment with a psychologist at the gender clinic.
My GP then prescribed female hormones. It didn't take long before my mood improved dramatically, and my body started to look different.
It took a year and a half before I got an appointment at the gender clinic. I then had a rather lengthy consultation with a female psychologist who specializes in people with Klinefelter syndrome.
The conclusion of that conversation was that the VU will take over my hormone prescriptions and that I'll be given a testosterone blocker. I'll have to take this for a year before I'm eligible for surgery.
This isn't something that just happened yesterday; it's been going on for a few years, and I'm going to explain the reason for my transition to you now.
I was born with an extra sex chromosome. This is also known as Klinefelter syndrome or 47XXY. And that's precisely the crux of the matter:
Women have sex chromosomes XX, men have sex chromosomes XY. And I was born with XXY.
What does that mean for me? My hips are higher (little body hair), I have developing breasts, my reproductive organs are underdeveloped, and my testosterone level in the blood is too low.
The latter is quite important in the body. Testosterone ensures, among other things, that the bones can properly absorb calcium. Without proper hormone levels, the risk of osteoporosis, or bone loss, is much higher. This means you run a higher risk of breaking a bone.
I discovered I have Klinefelter syndrome by chance. I watch a lot of videos on YouTube, and one time I came across one about Klinefelter and its characteristics. I looked at my own body and thought, "Could it be?"
I made an appointment with my GP. She then referred me to an endocrinologist (a difficult term for a hormone specialist) at the VU University Medical Center in Amsterdam. They took blood samples. The conclusion wasn't long in coming: I did indeed have Klinefelter. In my case, the 47XXY variant. There are other variants, but I won't go into those.
The next step was that I was prescribed testosterone. I started taking pills. After a month, they gave a wonderful placebo effect. I felt great, but my testosterone levels weren't higher.
Then I went for an injection in the thickest muscle in my body... That wasn't a smart move, because it's not really an injection like the flu. Let's just leave it at that.
Finally, I got a gel. That did help. My testosterone levels went up. But... there were also side effects. And those didn't make me happy.
I became slightly aggressive. I became indifferent. And I started growing body hair. And all three of those side effects made my mood plummet.
I took the testosterone for a total of three years. After that, I went back to the doctor and explained my symptoms. I told her I didn't want to continue like this and that I felt like Frankenstein's monster. After all, I had turned into someone I had never been and absolutely didn't want to be. Another factor was that I'd never felt 100% like a man.
She told me to stop taking testosterone immediately. She then scheduled another appointment with the endocrinologist. She also told me that if the appointment with the endocrinologist wasn't immediately successful, she would prescribe female hormones for me.
The endocrinologist listened to my story and promised me that he would fully commit to my well-being. Mind you, there's normally a THREE-year waiting period for an appointment with a psychologist at the gender clinic.
My GP then prescribed female hormones. It didn't take long before my mood improved dramatically, and my body started to look different.
It took a year and a half before I got an appointment at the gender clinic. I then had a rather lengthy consultation with a female psychologist who specializes in people with Klinefelter syndrome.
The conclusion of that conversation was that the VU will take over my hormone prescriptions and that I'll be given a testosterone blocker. I'll have to take this for a year before I'm eligible for surgery.
Changes
Posted 2 months agoToday is my birthday. I'm 48 years old now. And I'm at quite a turning point.
My body and mind are more alligned now. Can't say too much about it yet, though.
I've decided that I want to learn more things. Currently I'm working at a fire station, which is something I've been doing since 2019. But I want to learn skills. In september I'll be starting a basic woodworking course. I've got plenty of ideas, but neither the skills nor the tools. So back to school I go.
My body and mind are more alligned now. Can't say too much about it yet, though.
I've decided that I want to learn more things. Currently I'm working at a fire station, which is something I've been doing since 2019. But I want to learn skills. In september I'll be starting a basic woodworking course. I've got plenty of ideas, but neither the skills nor the tools. So back to school I go.
Worries
Posted 8 months agoI'm more and more doubting my choice of wanting to get married. We've been engaged for almost 7 years now. That's a long time. In the time that I've known her I've found out that she's had a hard life with a lot of verbal abuse.
And there's my problem. I can't raise my voice even the slightest or explain something to her and she'll immediately say she's a bad wife and it's all her fault, after which she'll point out my "male proviledges" that she never had. I hate it when she talks like that But she still wants me, for some odd reason. But do I still want her???
I'm good at pushing people away, but she still clings to me like velcro.
And there's my problem. I can't raise my voice even the slightest or explain something to her and she'll immediately say she's a bad wife and it's all her fault, after which she'll point out my "male proviledges" that she never had. I hate it when she talks like that But she still wants me, for some odd reason. But do I still want her???
I'm good at pushing people away, but she still clings to me like velcro.
Heyy, I'm still here!
Posted 10 months agoLast post was from a year ago, maybe more. Ouch.
So anyway, I'm still here, living my life. Things are sometimes improving, sometimes one step forward and one step back but overal, things are looking good. I've been looking at a MAJOR fork in the road for a long time of which I finally managed to take the right lane of (or the left one...) so that part of my life has been taken care of, sort of. No, I'm not gonna spill too many details here, it's much too early for that.
Health wise I'm still a bit iffy, my right knee gave out about a month ago so I'm still hurting from that. My therapist gave me some instructions for excersizes but just sitting sometimes is already painful, so back to the gp we go. I just hope I didn't tear anything, but with this body slowly deteriorating as it does, I never know what's next.
Also: I'm still sober. Was it 6 years or 7 already? I've lost count. The smell of certain types of spirits or wine still wants me to hurl. So that's a good sign.
Oh, and I FINALLY remembered on time to make Christmas cards. I know it's a bit early for The Netherlands as Sinterklaas hasn't even made landfall yet (also known as Saint Nicolas or the Bischop of Myra), but some stores already pulled out the Christmas lighting. Heck, even work already decorated a couple of newly planted conifers with lights and balls.
So anyway, I'm still here, living my life. Things are sometimes improving, sometimes one step forward and one step back but overal, things are looking good. I've been looking at a MAJOR fork in the road for a long time of which I finally managed to take the right lane of (or the left one...) so that part of my life has been taken care of, sort of. No, I'm not gonna spill too many details here, it's much too early for that.
Health wise I'm still a bit iffy, my right knee gave out about a month ago so I'm still hurting from that. My therapist gave me some instructions for excersizes but just sitting sometimes is already painful, so back to the gp we go. I just hope I didn't tear anything, but with this body slowly deteriorating as it does, I never know what's next.
Also: I'm still sober. Was it 6 years or 7 already? I've lost count. The smell of certain types of spirits or wine still wants me to hurl. So that's a good sign.
Oh, and I FINALLY remembered on time to make Christmas cards. I know it's a bit early for The Netherlands as Sinterklaas hasn't even made landfall yet (also known as Saint Nicolas or the Bischop of Myra), but some stores already pulled out the Christmas lighting. Heck, even work already decorated a couple of newly planted conifers with lights and balls.
This has NOT been my year!
Posted 2 years agoI've been sick so many times this year it's rediculous.
Food poisoning at the very first day of the year (plus ambulance ride).
Four times common cold.
One time flu.
Tachycardia (plus ambulance ride).
And now, the absolute pinnacle of deseases: Covid-19. With a side of pneumonia.
FML.
Food poisoning at the very first day of the year (plus ambulance ride).
Four times common cold.
One time flu.
Tachycardia (plus ambulance ride).
And now, the absolute pinnacle of deseases: Covid-19. With a side of pneumonia.
FML.
Shoes
Posted 2 years agoToday I was at the shoemaker having the final fit done for my orthopedic shoes. For 5 minutes in total I was able to walk around pain free. Now I'll have to wait for 8 more weeks. That's as long it'll take the shoemaker to get all the parts, make the pattern and assemble the shoe.
And when I finally get them, I can immediately apply for another set of shoewear. I'll ask them for some under-the-knee boots, to go with a new outfit that I created.
And when I finally get them, I can immediately apply for another set of shoewear. I'll ask them for some under-the-knee boots, to go with a new outfit that I created.
PSA
Posted 2 years agoStart of transmission.
Here's a Public Service Announcement for all the guys out there.
Please, for the love that's all dear, chose your mate carefully. Because if you want to commit to someone, make sure you know all their quirks and boundaries. Because if you don't...
THEY'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL.
End of transmission.
Here's a Public Service Announcement for all the guys out there.
Please, for the love that's all dear, chose your mate carefully. Because if you want to commit to someone, make sure you know all their quirks and boundaries. Because if you don't...
THEY'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL.
End of transmission.
Is marriage a good idea?
Posted 2 years agoAnything you say can be used against you in the court of marriage, it seems. And we're not even married yet.
I'm having doubts about my impending doom.
I'm having doubts about my impending doom.
Supermarket blues
Posted 3 years agoYesterday I was shopping in the supermarket with my girlfriend when a good looking woman wearing a leather jacket and tight pants passed by. My gaze follows her.
My girlfriend, holding a product, asked "What do you think?"
I reply "I think she has a great looking ass!"
My girlfriend looks where my gaze is going and grins "Good catch!"
My girlfriend, holding a product, asked "What do you think?"
I reply "I think she has a great looking ass!"
My girlfriend looks where my gaze is going and grins "Good catch!"
You know you've neglected your home for too long when...
Posted 3 years ago... you hear yourself say "I wondered where that went" 14 times.
... your roll of garbagebags goes 3 times as fast as normal.
... your balcony fill up with garbage bags alarmingly fast
... you find socks under your bed covered in dustbunnies
... you wonder when your first asthma attack will come but your vacuumcleaner is doing the choking for you.
... your vacuumcleaner's "clean filter!" light stays on even though you cleaned ALL the filters twice (R.I.P.).
... you wonder if you will find dinosaurbones dust somewhere under your bed.
... your building tries to get more upright every time you toss out a few full garbagebags.
... your roll of garbagebags goes 3 times as fast as normal.
... your balcony fill up with garbage bags alarmingly fast
... you find socks under your bed covered in dustbunnies
... you wonder when your first asthma attack will come but your vacuumcleaner is doing the choking for you.
... your vacuumcleaner's "clean filter!" light stays on even though you cleaned ALL the filters twice (R.I.P.).
... you wonder if you will find dinosaurbones dust somewhere under your bed.
... your building tries to get more upright every time you toss out a few full garbagebags.
I'm still alive!
Posted 3 years agoWow, it's been long since I posted pictures here! I've put two holiday pictures up and two LEGO pictures. I even got a flood warning!
I lost count
Posted 4 years agoI think it's my 23rd month sober? FurAffinity has a weird system of keeping records in journals, no timestamps or anything.
Welp, we had a break-in.
Posted 4 years agoMy scooter has been stolen.
My beautiful red Peugeot Rapido that I've inherited from my mother wasn't there when I walked into my storage unit in the building. Behind two locked doors. No entry damage, so it was done by someone who had the keys.
I've sent a report t the police, the vehicle registration company got the report as well, I've sent out tweets...
And now I'm shaking in my core, feeling cold as fucking ice. Whoever took my scooter had better be ready to face me because I'm fucking pissed.
My beautiful red Peugeot Rapido that I've inherited from my mother wasn't there when I walked into my storage unit in the building. Behind two locked doors. No entry damage, so it was done by someone who had the keys.
I've sent a report t the police, the vehicle registration company got the report as well, I've sent out tweets...
And now I'm shaking in my core, feeling cold as fucking ice. Whoever took my scooter had better be ready to face me because I'm fucking pissed.
Negative!
Posted 4 years agoThe test results came back, I don't have corona!
Test has been done...
Posted 4 years ago... now the waiting begins.
Having a stick been jammed in your throat and into your nose really sucks, btw. First they made me hurl and then I got a coughing fit. Bleh.
Having a stick been jammed in your throat and into your nose really sucks, btw. First they made me hurl and then I got a coughing fit. Bleh.
Covid-19
Posted 4 years agoWelp, one of the coworkers that was at the station on Thursday tested positive for Covid-19. That means I have to get tested for it. I have no complains yet, other than my usual asthma attacks. Tuesday I have an appointment in the morning.
Rest In Peace Jibba Foxcoon
Posted 4 years agoI've just read the news that Jibba Foxcoon passed away.
I've met Jibba at EF14 and he really was a nice guy. I had him and 2 Gryphon on my side and we took a picture, as seen here https://www.furaffinity.net/view/4031699/ .
He had this wonderful, hollering laugh at the 2 Sense show.
And now he's gone. Rest In Peace, Jibba.
https://www.trinitymemorialfuneralh.....ry/jason-smith
I've met Jibba at EF14 and he really was a nice guy. I had him and 2 Gryphon on my side and we took a picture, as seen here https://www.furaffinity.net/view/4031699/ .
He had this wonderful, hollering laugh at the 2 Sense show.
And now he's gone. Rest In Peace, Jibba.
https://www.trinitymemorialfuneralh.....ry/jason-smith
R.I.P. Boba Fett
Posted 5 years agoJeremy Bulloch, Original Boba Fett Actor in Star Wars, Dies at 75.
Story here: https://www.ign.com/articles/star-w.....?sf134439761=1
First Vader, now Boba Fett. It's been a sad year...
Story here: https://www.ign.com/articles/star-w.....?sf134439761=1
First Vader, now Boba Fett. It's been a sad year...
Rest in peace David Prowse
Posted 5 years agoDarth Vader is no more, he passed away on 28 November, aged 85, after a short illness
Remember that time...
Posted 5 years ago...when I said I wouldn't have to wear compression socks anymore?
The surgeon was a fucking LIAR! I'm back to square one, wearing tight compression socks again.
Fuck.
The surgeon was a fucking LIAR! I'm back to square one, wearing tight compression socks again.
Fuck.
Mistranslations...
Posted 5 years agoSo my girlfriend is from American origin but she has studied in Germany for a few years. I'm Dutch and she's been living with me for 5 (?) years now. She's getting to know the Dutch language well but sometimes words get mixed up.
The Dutch word for Ascension Day is Hemelvaartdag, shortened Hemelvaart. So, mix in some known German words that look like Dutch and you get Himmelfart.
Himmel fart: Stinks to high heaven!
The Dutch word for Ascension Day is Hemelvaartdag, shortened Hemelvaart. So, mix in some known German words that look like Dutch and you get Himmelfart.
Himmel fart: Stinks to high heaven!
Predictions
Posted 5 years agoI predict that in 5 months I'll be rushed to the hospital by ambulance with sirens blaring with a severe alcohol poisoning. Probably in a coma.
Soberness
Posted 5 years agoPfff, 6 months without alcohol... I don't miss the headaches in the morning, but I do miss getting drunk and not giving a fuck anymore.
Happy Halloween! or not?
Posted 6 years agoGreat. My GF is going to a Halloween party but I can't go because I don't fit within the group.
Since when is it okay to exclude a straight guy at a party? I feel discriminated!
Since when is it okay to exclude a straight guy at a party? I feel discriminated!
Ow, my ribs!
Posted 6 years agoShort version: ZzZzZzZ... flop... *CRUNCH* "Why the hell am I on the ground?"
Long version: on Monday I fell asleep while sitting in front of the PC and fell out of my chair. In the fall I took the chair along for the ride and I woke up half under my desk.
The result: one heck of a bruise in my armpit and some minor inconveniences. Or so I thought...
I've been to the doctor yesterday as my ribs were starting to hurt and she told me I've bruised a couple of them. As for my question why they started to hurt on the third day: the muscles had a day to lock up. So it's back to a new round of paracetamol for me.
Sigh...
Long version: on Monday I fell asleep while sitting in front of the PC and fell out of my chair. In the fall I took the chair along for the ride and I woke up half under my desk.
The result: one heck of a bruise in my armpit and some minor inconveniences. Or so I thought...
I've been to the doctor yesterday as my ribs were starting to hurt and she told me I've bruised a couple of them. As for my question why they started to hurt on the third day: the muscles had a day to lock up. So it's back to a new round of paracetamol for me.
Sigh...
