Aside from a couple of local events happening in the next few months, I'm feeling this will probably be my last true con. I'm currently planning on sitting out FWA and other major cons next year to focus on paying off my debts so that I can leave with a clean conscious.

I enjoyed CozyCon. The tight-knit community they've built up on Discord is always fun to interact with, and they've been doing it for long enough that they've got a formula down for making things work. The majority of the staff are based in Canada and they have stopped doing business with the United States, so most of the storefront was broken for me. They're supposedly working on it...they've been very supportive of trying to keep the community together, and I commend that.

I've made no secret of the fact that I've always felt locked-out of whatever community I'm in, but at CozyCon I feel like that matters less, or is somehow less true?

I have come to a decision on VR however. I am going to stop trying to engage with it. The few snippets of actual interaction I've gotten out of it I do not feel warrant the financial costs of getting a rig, and I still do not trust the devs behind VRChat. Just like in real life I am talked over, marginalized, or ignored and I don't feel like dropping hundreds of moneys to get that same experience. You'll be able to find me on Discord or telegram if you really want to chat with me.

Furality is beautiful.

The community is beautiful.

The world is beautiful.

The showcase is beautiful.

But all that I get out of it is a reminder that I'm dying of loneliness.

I have a few obligations to other people in 2025 that are keeping me here but MFF this year wasn't one of them...it was something I did just for me. I wasn't planning on attending, but when Hurricane Helene canceled Carolina FurFaire, which I was planning to attend, I found myself with another one of those opportunities where everything just sort of fell into place.

I really wish I could reconcile my sense of alienation with the love I feel for the fandom, but due to circumstances of fate I find myself growing old with the sense that there's only a window into the outside world to keep me company.

I like traveling. Despite the huge hassle, I like having somewhere to go to. Actually being invited to places and wanted at parties is such a stark contrast to how I grew up. Having the means and the agency to book a flight and a stay somewhere with people who enjoy my company and reliability is one of the things that made being an adult worthwhile.

I honestly don't know what to say about my con experience this year. I've been to so many now that few experiences stand out, even though I'm always trying new things and meeting new people. I split most of my time at MFF between the panels and the Dealers Den. Artist's Alley was nowhere to be found and I didn't realize we even had one until after the con. Same charity, same people I partied with, same people I roomed with...in many ways it felt like this year's con was just an extension of last year's. One highlight was seeing Pepper Coyote perform, who appears to be growing past whatever controversy it was that got him banned from other cons. He sounds better than he ever has, apparently has a loving husband, and is making amends. Another highlight was seeing Bomb Voyage and hearing stories of support for him from more furries who actually know him.

It wasn't bad, it just...felt kind of mid. It felt like my heart wasn't as into it. I still had a good time, but it won't be one of the ones I rave about. If you asked me why I couldn't really tell you as I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps on some spiritual level I've already checked out?

Next con will be FWA 2025, and then Megaplex, both because of prior commitments. By 2026 the only obligations I should have left are financial so I don't plan on attending any other cons after these, as I need to focus on getting my affairs in order.

After having a conversation with someone in the aftermath of CFF's cancellation, I've decided that it's probably time I spent my energies trying to find social groups outside of the fandom.

I used to think that furry was all inclusive but I recognize now that furry culture is queer culture, and as a straight person I will never truly be part of the group, no matter how staunch my support or how long I've been trying to participate. It probably isn't healthy for me to stay here, as a single person in my 40's who still wants something more out of life. I may be able to be a better ally from afar rather than trying to directly participate, especially where I am only being included as a hangers-on.

I've been offered to join a room at MFF and I've made a prior commitment to FWA in 2025 but after these events I am planning a withdrawal. It will be hard because furry has been the only social outlet I've really had, but that's also a good reason as to why it needs to be done.

While the trip always seems to cause problems for my roommate, the con itself has impressed us enough to make it a guaranteed annual thing. My roommate tells me he had the best con ever but for me it was an extreme roller coaster of emotions, so I'm not sure where it ranks.

It started with my implant literally breaking the night before the con, rendering me completely deaf. Since my implant is nearly a decade obsolete I knew I was screwed...the chances of getting a loaner on short notice without financially committing to an upgrade that would have pushed me into bankruptcy was close to zero. With a proverbial gun to my head I went to the audiologist the morning we were supposed to leave and bet everything. To my great surprise, she just happened to have a brand new unit of the same exact model that I was using on hand. Since it was a model that was no longer being serviced, she had no use for it and let me have it for free. So not only was I able to hear, I was hearing through "brand new" equipment and it made a world of difference compared to the unit I had been using since 2012.

Once we got to the con, a room party I had been invited to months prior turned out to be fake; it was some sort of scheme intended to catfish straight guys for fun. The usual indifference once again makes me wonder if even the party cons are worth attending any more; the more time that passes the more I get the feeling that maybe these aren't 'my people' after all. If I were gay or non-binary or ace or otherkin it wouldn't be a problem, but I'm not. And because I'm not, no matter how inclusive the fandom tries to be, I am still essentially a bystander watching other people make connections.

I've been a bystander for my entire life, and I don't want to do it any more.

Yes, a hacker managed to take the site down for a while; bullying furries is nothing new. I'd like to point out something I found interesting about the whole ordeal though.

Whether you love him or hate him, Dragoneer's unexpected death brought the future of this website into question, though use of the website went uninterrupted during that time.

The hacker coming in and actually disrupting use of the site threw that into stark relief I think.

I maintain that FurAffinity is big enough now that it does not need Dragoneer and can continue on without him. I similarly believe that the fandom does not need Fur Affinity in that same vein; should something catastrophic happen to finally close up the website it is only a matter of time before something new evolves to take its place as a furry hub on the web.

I feel like both of these beliefs are a testament to the people like Dragoneer who, if nothing else, paved the road on which the fandom tread; a road that allowed it to grow enough to rise to meet whatever comes next.

There was a lot of doom and gloom going around in some circles before the hack regarding the future of the website, but I think that I feel more confident than ever after the hack. This website and this fandom will endure for many years to come; and may perhaps even outlive us all in one form or another.

It has apparently come to pass that our friend 'Neer did not make it to the recovery phase of his medical problems.

I have not had much time to process this since I only learned of it last night before bed. I've read a few journals and it seems for the most part people have had positive interactions with him...or at least that is what they are choosing to remember.

I met him once at a con and he seemed like a decent enough fellow, but for as long as he's been running Fur Affinity controversy has followed in his wake....and that's a long time considering he founded the site. Some of that controversy was probably unwarranted, and I'm sure that some of it was. I'm afraid I have interacted with his (ex?) wife more than I have with him; she was an artist and crafts-person and he was not. I wish that I had more of an opportunity to get to know him better. Controversial or not, he is the reason why so many of us are here today, as Fur Affinity through the years has served as the landing page for the fandom. The site has had it's ups and downs and is definitely showing its age, but you know what?

It's still here.

It feels wrong that Dragoneer isn't.

I can't help but wonder what will become of this place now that he's gone but I'm not going to speculate about that in this journal; that's a bridge we'll all have to cross in the days ahead. For now I will say a heartfelt "Thank You" to 'Neer for his contribution to the fandom. For sticking by Fur Affinity even through the controversy and attacks and speculation. You were a guy who was just trying his best, with shortcomings and flaws and struggles like any of us. Fur Affinity is your legacy and my hope is that, though it may change with time, it continues to thrive and live up to the expectations you had for it when you first founded it. To those who knew him better than I, you have my condolences.

Let me preface this by saying I don't have a headset. My roommate upgraded his rig recently and that's how he ended up with two of them; he suggested letting me borrow it to attend this con and we just kind of went with it?

I'll admit I had a lot of apprehensions going in. I tend to avoid voice chats because it has always been very hard to hear and understand other people. The nature of VR very much forced me out of my comfort zone in this regard and I had mixed results. In general I try not to approach people because 9 times out of 10 the people I approach make me feel like I'm cutting in, ignore me outright, or dismiss whatever I have to say. If others approach me though, I find it easier to make a connection. I also have a tendency to be quiet because I was taught in middle school that I have to be extremely careful about what I say if I don't want to be attacked with it. Again the nature of VR forced me out of my comfort zone by putting me in situations where approaching people and talking to them was unavoidable if I wanted to get anything out of the con.

It was an interesting experience. I'm still not sure if VR is something I really want to get into outside of events like Furality, but I think I do understand now why the structure in convention special interest meets have gone out the window. It used to be that there would be a 'host' and he or she would encourage people to talk about themselves or their connection to their shared interest by broaching topics for discussion. VR doesn't really work like that; you're just thrown into a room and left to fend for yourself, which is what most meets at conventions have turned into these days. I do miss the old way of doing things as I felt it took away a lot of the sense of 'wandering' and awkwardness out of it but the new way makes actually meeting people feel more significant and authentic.

Maybe it's because we were all running around as fuzzy critters all weekend but I found it was easier to approach some people. Some, but not all. Everyone was really cool like, no one put me down or gave me shit I didn't deserve, but the way VR Chat works is it is designed to function around cliques instead of open groups. I've been told that this is done for safety reasons; public servers are full of trolls and screaming children so everyone only goes to private worlds they are personally invited to. I suppose that makes it imperative to keep the friends I made here close to my chest.

The event itself was great. World was well made, had it's own story and stuff, though I never saw anyone LARPING it. It was truly a festival taking place on another world-there was a solar eclipse and fireworks show, stuff not typically associated with your typical fur con. I found myself going to the dance hall more this time around; I usually ignore it at real events (with few exceptions for DJ's I'm familiar with. Guess I know more of them now!)

I don't know what I'm trying to say but it's like...Furality as an entire experience gave me the inkling that I am perhaps a lot more uncomfortable with myself then I previously cared to realize. I'm not sure where that discomfort is stemming from through. What's true is that I am what's holding me back. It's me. I need to figure out why that is and how to get around it. I wish it were something easy like being gay or trans, but that's not the case here.

I think what I need to do is ask the roommate if I can hold onto the headset a bit and actually use it periodically throughout the year.

It has come to my attention that by "trying something new" FWA may have opened up a huge can of worms.

After speaking to multiple different furries at the con about why most of my friends have stopped coming, I kept hearing the opposite response: Everyone is fed up with cons enforcing a sanitized, SFW experience and are coming to FWA specifically because they offer a safe place for adult content in their programming. Seeing as how FWA is the only con really doing this (that has lasted for more than one year) that may account for why our population now outstrips that of AnthroCon.

I too like the idea and respect the convention planners for daring to try something different. BUT...there are caveats to doing this sort of thing successfully, not the least of which is that adult content is the #1 thing that has historically damaged the reputation not just of specific conventions but of the entire fandom. I'm an older fur; I'm not speaking hyperbole when I say that we collectively had to struggle for close to 20 years to recover from what happened at Knots Berry Farm in the 1980's. Most of the newer furs who got into the fandom after the 90's don't understand that there was a time when people lost their jobs and got blacklisted from careers for being outed as furs. Indeed, Disney and Hollywood supposedly to this day will not knowingly hire anyone who is openly a fur, which is why productions like Helluva Boss and The Amazing Digital Circus have had to happen independently. All this is to say that there are real stakes in being associated with what the cons are doing, even if you are making no decisions other than attending...and to an extent, even if you don't attend conventions at all.

And I get it too. Our LBGTQ population is enormous and this is one of the few outlets where people feel like they can be themselves. It is also true that exploring sexuality has always been a part of the furry fandom because of this. It is thirdly true that the people most able to attend conventions at all are adults.

The thing of it is though that we still need the SFW conventions if we want the fandom to survive, because not all of them are going to be able to implement adult programming successfully for one thing, and for another we need to be mindful of how people who aren't furries perceive us. If people are really coming to FWA...to the tune of 15,000+ attendees....solely because they offer a more openly adult con experience, I worry that other regional cons will feel pressured to try attracting attendees this way too. I find that idea very concerning because it's not sustainable in the long run, and we know this because of what has already happened in the past.

I remember feeling overcome with emotion when the announcement of the theme for 2024's con was made. Ten years ago, I attended the original FWA College, and now they were having a sequel. I remembered having a lot of fun that year, both with the theme and the con in general. It was one of the better ones I have attended. Back then FWA was....smaller but still the largest fur con in the south. It was still growing. I thought at the time that this growth was a good thing. I believe I may now stand corrected in that assessment.

We had 15K+ people show up to FWA 2024: FU2. Ten years ago the con was run so well that I considered it the gold standard of conventions and compared pretty much every other con I went to to it. Since the end of the pandemic however, it's like the convention organizers suffered a stroke and forgot how to run things, and are now having to re-learn from scratch.

Last year this was compounded by two factors: 1) Unexpected explosive population growth, and 2) Attempting something new and never before seen in giving Adult Content its own showcase space in the form of a mini "Moonlight Festival". These factors did not a good combination make, but FWA was lucky enough to avoid a Rainfurrest-like disaster. I was expecting them to have learned from the mistakes that were made going into this year's con, and to their credit they sort-of did? Well, from some of them at least. There were a lot of other problems with the con this year, some of which were related and some of which were not.

Problem 1: Con Staff
I don't know if things are all right in the land of peaches because it feels like FWA is now struggling to catch up with the sheer volume of attendees they have to deal with. I could excuse them for this in 2022 because not even the hotel was prepared for the huge jump in attendance they'd have post-pandemic. 2023 was a little better, but it appears they lost more people than they gained and failed a recruitment drive or something because they had to turn to an outside firm to cover gaps in staffing starting from Day 2. None of those people acted like they wanted to be there or even appreciated being hired. They were often rude if not openly hostile to attendees and ignored con rule exceptions like disability tags and fursuits. This was a huge problem because of

Problem 2: Con Layout
Whoever it was that designed the convention layout this year deserves a lifetime ban from both the convention and the hotel. It created more problems this year than it actually solved from last year. For starters, despite the Mariott Marquise being labeled as the con hotel, everything except for main events was spread between three floors in the Hyatt. For those who can't see the immediate problem with this, it means that A) Dealer's Den and panels have overlapping pathing, B) Everyone is forced to navigate multiple stairs and elevators (between two hotels if you stayed in the Mariott), C) You have 15K+ people battling each other to get anywhere no matter what they want to do. During some parts of the con, lines to different events overlapped. People trying to get to panels were forced into queues for the Dealer's Den until they got to the stairs. It made the issues with poor staffing significantly worse, not the least of which was because NO ONE ON STAFF TRAFFIC DUTY KNEW WHERE ANYTHING WAS. I didn't get any straight or contradictory answers from anyone as to where a panel or event was until Day 3 of the con, and I know I'm not the only one. Myself and my roommate missed out on multiple panels and meets we wanted to see because of it. The Dealers Den also inexplicably closed at random times throughout the day and some booths seemed to run on different schedules, which meant that some folks who were already in line for up to an hour were SOL. To make matters worse, con programming tended to overlap in ways that were completely nonsensical given how difficult it was to traverse the con space.

Issues from last year were largely fixed though. Dealer's Den was more secure and booths were spaced further out. Even with more people there than last year you were not forced past booths without even being able to see what they were selling, which was a huge problem in 23. The Hoppy Hour Beer Festival was more controlled instead of being a total free-for-all. The Moonlight Festival was also given more space (though still not enough) and the exits were tightly monitored so it wasn't as much of a leaky boat with half naked people getting back into public spaces (some fursuiters were still caught having sex in the headless lounge, which everyone agreed was icky...but it's still better than them doing it in the fuckin' lobby). Registration did a complete 180 and was a breeze to go through with plenty of booths to expedite those who had pre-registered. (The con store did a complete 180 and was excruciatingly slow with only two operational points of sale. It very nearly ended my friendship with my roommate).

Problem 3: The Hotel

Ten years ago Furry University opened its doors in the Mariott Marquise. You would think that by now, ten years later and three years of attendance pulling Anthrocon numbers...you would think that the hotel might be prepared for that. Like, that first post-pandemic year, when we broke every elevator and most of the escalators in the hotel...they had to have learned from that right? Right?

Wrong.

Not only were a section of the con elevators serving the convention room bloc dead for the entire con, but certain events were not given rooms that could even remotely accommodate the draw. Like, not even close. The vore meet for example, reached capacity with the line to get in still going out the hall and down into the lobby. Not every event was this bad but seeing things like a queue to get into the pool, which doesn't even host an event...makes me think that we might have actually outgrown the hotel. Lines in general were very long, and nearly always demanded sacrifices. Attendance may be through the roof, but it wouldn't surprise me at all if I were to learn that actual butts in the seats at panels and events were lower than last year.

Problem 4: The Attendees

Everyone knows that furries are great. Easily some of the greatest people you'll meet on the planet, except when they aren't. Well, a lot of them got up on the wrong side of the bed throughout the con, especially on the last day. In fact, I've never seen such a brazen display of disrespect not only to fellow attendees but to the hotel staff, and by so many people. I could deal with the folks bulldozing through lines (yes, not 'cutting into place', outright bulldozing). I can even deal with people socializing directly in front of booths as a line forms behind them because people think they are queuing (this happened multiple times). I can deal with the snide remarks from people because the line you are standing in inconveniences their movement through a space.

What I cannot deal with...and what the con itself absolutely should not put up with....are huge numbers of people insisting on using the staff and freight elevators on Monday when they only have a bookbag and maybe some rolling luggage. That shit has got to stop. It caused problems for attendees with carts full of stuff (like vendors and suiters!), it caused problems for hotel staff trying to service guests and perform maintenance, it caused problems for elevator repairmen trying to get to where they were needed, and it caused problems for valet staff because many people were not able to get to the garage in a timely manner, including myself and my roommate who was in full autistic meltdown and screaming at people by the time we got to the car.

I am not speaking lightly when I say that the only reason I am coming back next year is the Futurepunk theme. If the con chairman does not mention anything about leaving the staff elevators the fuck alone at opening ceremonies, I am probably going to ask for a refund and leave.

I have this feeling of intense dread.

I know the world is going to end this year.

Oh sure, it will begin and progress just like any of these years past. Some cool things may even happen!

But I suspect that about halfway through, the United States is going to collapse, and belligerents around the world will use it as an excuse to end the age of globalized peace that was won by World War 2.

I don't see anything short of divine intervention preventing this. I'm afraid many of us won't be here come this time next year.

I fervently hope I'm wrong.

Well, that was some weekend! Still trying to collect my thoughts about it, but I'm going to put down here what I can.

The last time I went to this con was in 2016. My roommate Typhus was a DJ for a furry radio program and was invited down to a room paid for by the group so that they could promote the radio station. I was his +1. That year was the first year MFF actually eclipsed AnthroCon in con attendance, making it the largest furry convention in the world. It was surprising to me and yet not surprising for many reasons; I had heard that a lot of people were being turned off to AnthroCon for various reasons and such. Weirdly the con that year felt downright cozy and the large spaces in the hotel and the convention center of Rosemont were such that it never felt like there were that many people there.

All of that is gone.

MFF is the new AnthroCon, both in spirit as well as in practice. The convention now takes up every hotel in Rosemont, though the events are still limited to the Hyatt and Convention center. Sky-bridges connect many of the hotels now but since there are so many hotels spread across such a wide area even with the skybridge you have to walk and walk and walk to get anywhere. It would have absolutely killed my roommate, and I'm not sure how mobility challenged furs managed if they weren't in the Hyatt. I probably lost some weight going to this one and my hotel was right across the street from the convention center! Every bit of that open space was packed with people. It did not feel cozy. Lots of times group of furries would form a wall of people and block access to walkways and such. There were so many people we beat AC's numbers by over 1k. The con store ran out of merchandise. There was a line to get into the Artist's Alley. It was chaos the whole con...not necessarily a bad kind of chaos but I can definitely see why some of my friends have stopped going to this one.

Oh yeah, at one point we managed to break every elevator in the hotel. We broke two of the three elevators in the hotel I was staying at, additionally.

Programming was good...when I could get to it. I never once made it in time to catch a full panel though. Food was everywhere which was a welcome difference from other cons I've been to. Weirdly there was some kind of traveling curiosities show using the Convention Center while we were there. I was tempted to go through it but everyone going through looked very normal and it cost $20 to get in. I stayed in the furry space, lol.

It was great catching up with old friends, which I spent most of my time doing this year, even if my time with each was too brief. I made some new friends too, including a wonderful horse...<3

I dunno. Normally everything would break down. "It's always something." I'd say. But this time...things were different. I need to get out of my comfort zone more, this much is clear. I need to try to be that confident asshole and not the nervous wallflower. Did meet someone who had an aura of sullen dourness that was so overpowering it stopped me in my tracks though. It...really wasn't what I was expecting to encounter at a furry convention, let alone a room party. I don't want to be that guy, yet sometimes I feel it creeping in my soul.

Perhaps because of all the walking I was able to actually play some Pokemon Go this year, which despite the traveling almost never happens at these things. Beat a Mega Kangeskan raid and used my Master Ball to catch a Reshiram after a drawn out battle with tons of attrition. Still have mixed feelings about that, but I don't get into group raids often; I probably wouldn't have the chance at it again for quite some time.

There is one thing MFF has that I've never seen before. Apparently paramedics were summoned to the con literally every night. That's not hyperbole. There were fire trucks and ambulances and police outside the Hyatt every day at sunset. I've heard that in Illinoise a lot of substances are legal now and if this is the result of that then I can safely say I no longer support legalization. I've been to Anthrocon, Megaplex, FWA, and many other cons and none of them had this problem. Like, Atlanta is the drug crossroads of the United States and FWA is the biggest fur con in the south and even they don't call 911 every day or multiple times a day. Frankly, it's embarrassing. Everyone I spoke to acted like it was normal. "Yeah, this is a common occurrence at MFF." It really fucking shouldn't be. Y'all are going to piss off the city if you haven't already. There's a place for hedonism but one would think that furs would recognize that it's not unheard-of for cities to shut down events for things like "risky behavior" and "public nuisance". Tying up the emergency services of Rosemont regularly every time you host a yearly event is a good way to get there.

There was nothing so dramatic as the time someone attacked the con with chlorine gas but there was someone using a flipper-zero device to attack the con space with bluetooth DNS exploits. Their shenanigans also affected my implant and someone's insulin pump, so they're on the hook with the Feds if they get caught. Mostly it caused Iphones to crash, and they seemed to split most of their time between the dome and the Dealer's Den. Adding to the drama were a number of rapes, some of which were the reason those paramedics were called.

Listen, I don't want to sound like a downer. MFF was an amazing experience and I met a lot of really great people. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I had consenting sex. I tried Malort. I roomed with someone from the UK. But having just turned 40 I look at all this chaos and am like "woah." It's a reminder that eventually I'm not going to be able to do cons like this, even if I want to. I like MFF, I really do, but like...idk if it's possible for them to do better pulling numbers like they are.

Take of that what you will. I would like to go to MFF again sometime, and hopefully without as long of a gap between conventions but it's definitely one of those cons that you need to be very prepared for.

One of the most difficult cons to go to...

I'm going! ^.^

This is the first step of my initiative to....well, take initiative.

I have been to this con once before, as a guest of a furry radio group. This will be my first time deliberately forcing a way into the con rather than relying on providence to get in. Roommates are a necessity of course because of the nature of how damn difficult they make it to go to this one, and I'm already squared away after having a few close shaves with scam artists.

I'm taking a lot of risks and doing things here that I'd never do otherwise. This is also the first time in a long time I'm going to be rooming with strangers instead of my usual con buddy. My goal is to keep finding things I've never done before and do them. If I'm so tired of being the person I am it's time to fucking be someone else.

And if the spirit of adventurism doesn't work, I've still got a furry convention to fall back on. <3

Trying not to think of this as my last hurrah but in all honesty that's probably what it's going to end up being.

The time is getting closer.

You know, I've been a furry for decades....and for a fandom dedicated towards being someone who you are not, I personally have not changed much.

I'm still the same person who sat upstairs in front of the computer, watching summer days pass by as I connected with the only people I was close to, half a world away. I'm still the same person who got taken advantage of by my peers in middle school because I was too optimistic about them. I'm still the same person who goes to the dance to stand in the back and listen to the music. I'm still the same person who put my friends over my own personal interests for years and years, until I got burnt out on them. I buy movies I never watch and games I never play. I've had to let go of so many dreams that I've moved onto hopes.

Gonna hit that milestone age and since there's no going back, I'm going to go forward. I think I'm going to deliberately try and become more reckless and impulsive and start taking more risks.

I wanna be like that guy who went into the woods and fukkin' died. Because sometimes staying where you are is more excruciating than breaking your leg and dying of dehydration and food poisoning.

I was just struck by how much things have changed here on FA. Many of the old artists I've watched no longer post or do commission work, and a lot of new artists from Russia and Europe have appeared in their places. My own activity here has lessened considerably from what it used to be back when I joined. Despite this, my personal life hasn't changed hardly at all since I joined back around 2006. I'm still me, and I've become increasingly dissatisfied with that.

I spent the weekend in sunny Florida for good old Megaplex. I still can't believe I had dismissed the convention for so long; a friend of mine managed to convince me it was a stuffy anime convention a long time ago, so I focused on FWA instead. Oh but how things change! FWA is...well, it's floundering. It's always been a party con but it is starting to transition into something much more adult, and while I'm glad they are making some time to acknowledge that part of the fandom in a safe and secure way, I can see how the wandering focus might have cost them elsewhere. That was fairly obvious this year. Megaplex however, was forced to become an 18+ venue by policy Governer DeSantis was setting in their state, and yet they kept their focus and delivered an all-inclusive event that was friendly and welcoming.

Because of DeSantis, we really weren't sure if we were actually going to go...so much so that I didn't even register for the con until we got on-site. Both the trip down and the trip back ended up taking a lot longer then anticipated. I keep wanting to leave before sunrise and my roommate keeps convincing me to wait. We did our usual stop at Buccees and Circle K but skipped Kroger's this year...and our trip was still around 11 hours each way. Regardless, despite some extremely harrowing situations on the road, we managed to arrive and promptly forget about our driving experience.

Lots of friendly people helped make the event feel refreshing. They're in the Hyatt this year, which isn't a resort hotel, despite being in the same area as the last one. Better parking though; I was able to get out to go to Soupa Saiyan without taking an Uber. More and more people are starting to notice and compliment the pin collection I've got going on my backpack, which is always fun. Chatted up some non-furs who came to the event on a whim and became converts, went to a panel with Mike Merlino, had breakfast with the greymuzzles, won fibsh at the feline meet...got some houseplants from the plant panel too.

The event was not without its problems however. Most concerningly, children kept getting into the con space. The entire convention this year was supposed to have been 18+ specifically to comply with the direction local laws were going and convention staff couldn't enforce it. There were protestors outside the hotel at one point, and a youtuber tried to crash the convention, though was head off as soon as he got there.

To be quite honest, I'm concerned for Megaplex's future. I suspect that Florida is going to become a rogue state during the 24 election cycle, and even if the authoritarian Nazi elements running for offices are defeated there is still the outsize effect climate change is projected to have there. The con isn't future proof. The staffs inability to enforce a rule set up to help the con's survival doesn't inspire confidence. There is a part of me that wants to make this con a regular destination but isn't ready for the inevitable heartbreak that may happen soon. There was also a troubling issue with one of the elevators in Tower 1 going into free-fall and engaging emergency brakes...several times. People joke about elevator con but you start seeing some real Final Destination shit when a hotel genuinely isn't ready for the amount of people being thrown at it.

While in Florida I also attended CozyCon online, doing two cons at once. If you had told me this would be possible back before the pandemic I'd have looked at you funny, but here it is. I honestly really love CozyCon. I just wish I didn't have to do it on a shitty 4G tablet this year, but I made do. I sent them photos of stuff at Megaplex which they seemed to get a kick out of. The increasing prevalence of VR technology has started making me feel a little left behind to be honest. Maybe one day...It's just intimidating when you see Furality at every single con you go to now.

Not sure what else to say. Had money problems since my roommate didn't pay his roomshare (we've worked it out), so this was the first con in a while that I didn't get a serious commission at. Still spent more than I intended but that's how it goes at these things.

This may or may not be my last con. Normally I'd go to Bewhiskered but they scheduled the con out directly during the holidays, so I can't attend without jeapordizing my work, and I'm not doing that for Bewhiskered. I'm considering MFF instead but as my roommate is still too big to fly I'll be going that one alone, and I've no idea if I'll be able to recover financially from Megaplex in time. Plans for next year are completely open, so we'll see what happens.

https://buttondown.email/charliejan.....t-a-lot-worse/

Everyone call your senators.

Spread this around.

As many people need to know about this as possible so it can be stopped. Language in the bill has fooled Democrats into giving it bipartisan support.

Ok then.
The truth is, I'm still very much in the process of checking out of life.
As long as I'm still here though, I'm trying to make the most of things. Unexpectedly seeing a journal post from someone who I thought I'd never hear from again has inspired me to post a con-review.

After last year my roommate, who has become my primary con-going partner, was undecided about returning to FWA. He did not like how the con had skewed adult after the pandemic and took umbrage with how a lot of it was run. However, several things have changed since then: 1) We both had an experience at Megaplex. It was one of the best summers I can remember, and though my roommate was unenthused at first, he eventually came around to it and got excited about cons again. 2) My roommate became heavily involved with VR Chat...to the point that's all he does all day/night. He taught himself how to sculpt and has been creating and designing worlds, avatars, and assets, which he hopes to make his primary source of income. The speed at which he's mastered this is shocking to me; he is seemingly starting out on complex concepts like four-armed avatars and is making it work. 3) My roommate has finally found something that self-motivates him toward fitness and weight-loss. He is actively exercising; something I've never seen him do before. He is not very in-shape-at Megaplex he pretty much slept through the con...but since he started exercising he has regained a lot of energy and has even started going shopping again instead of just ordering things online.

What I'm trying to say is that somewhere in there my roommate's mind was changed and we decided to give FWA another go.

We were not prepared for it, but I don't think anyone was. Over 10,300 people showed up. The VR Furs panel alone had attendance that rivaled most first-year cons. I knew for a long time that AnthroCon was shrinking and MFF and FWA were growing...but I think this year is the first year that FWA may actually have muscled in on AC without speaking hyperbole. In hind-sight it kinda makes sense. Most of the regional southern conventions did not survive the pandemic. FangCon died when Draconis/CalamityCougar did. ASE had a con chair quit and hold convention assets hostage. Blue Ridge Furfaire chose the wrong hotel and it forced them to go virtual this year because it was that unsustainable. Texas Furry Fiesta is still a thing but is out of reach for many of the southeastern bloc furs. FWA has always been well positioned in that regard.

Anyhow, the problem with nobody expecting that many people was...manifold. This was probably one of the worst-run years FWA's ever had, from a purely logistical standpoint. Everything was too close together despite being spread between three hotels; the vendor hall was so packed you couldn't even see the merch, and it was nearly impossible to move without people shoving, bumping or brushing into you. I actually left the Moonlight Festival event after browsing because I couldn't see any of the performances taking place with so many people in the room. I went to a panel meet and greet that was one of the most awkward meets I've ever attended...it was an unstructured meet but we had over 100 people show up so everyone ended up walking around like fish swimming in an overcrowded tank, looking for people they may have met online instead of actually introducing themselves. It sucked. The hotel was also not ready for us and crucial equipment kept breaking down, like escalators. At one point every elevator in the hotel broke down and they resorted to letting people use the staff and freight elevators. It seems a lot of people also had to use outdoor parking and got their cars broken into. A not insignificant dollar amount of items were stolen.

It probably sounds like I'm complaining but I'm really not. I had a great time! Went to more room parties this year than ever before, met some great new people and ran into some that I haven't seen in a very, very long time. The troubles that FWA ran into were mostly growing pains...good troubles to have, and the hotel and con staff were accommodating enough to make them all tolerable. They need to get more staff next year though because if the con keeps growing like this it's going to collapse under its own weight eventually. The two tigers chose a hell of a time to step down from CEO, but the guy they chose to replace them has been a long-time admin and knows how FWA is run. Here's hoping he's up to the task.

My roommate says he had the best year ever but FWA's tracking skewed more adult than ever as well. He was definitely more active than usual though, which is a good thing. I saw him out and about more. I will say that the Moonlight Festival was much better set-up this year, with half of the hotel cordoned off with big black curtains. There was virtually no cross-pollination between it and the public con spaces this year.

So in some regards it was well-run. Even with all those people there we only had one troublemaker incident in which a guy on hard drugs had a bad trip and started attacking people. He had to be tazed by police and paramedics were called to pull out the prongs and get him off his high. The only other issue came from someone who wasn't even part of the con somehow getting into the Dealer's Den after hours and helping himself to over $2k worth of goods. In both cases staff was right on top of it and got it taken care of quickly without anyone getting hurt. Even the theft was able to be dealt with as the dealer's den was highly surveilled and the hotel staff were ready for such a scenario.

Currently, we are planning on attending Megaplex again this year, but both of us are developing reservations about attending. Ron DeSantis keeps changing Florida law with an eye toward making LBGTQ+ accommodation a criminal offense, and my roommate is worried that a raid on the place might net us with accessory felonies just for being there. I've noticed as well that the con takes place in September which is peak hurricane season; science is adamant that Florida isn't going to survive climate change, and I don't want to be in town when the big bad finally hits. However, our plans for the rest of the year are extremely limited if Megaplex doesn't happen. Bewhiskered's newly announced dates take place over New Year's, which means getting time off work for it is likely impossible. My roommate is also convinced he is not fit enough to fly and only Bewhiskered is close enough for us to drive to but far enough out temporally that we can save money for. If something were to happen to Megaplex before the con takes place, we'll probably pivot to Furry Takeover, which takes place that same month...beyond that, there's nothing...

Truth be told, I still like going out to these events though I'm not really sure why any more. It's a fun escape from reality I guess.

https://twitter.com/NazifurReceipts.....81620455133184
"Hey guys letting you know that we have a smear campaign trying to get interviews with furries for a hit piece. Spread this around if you can so that we can keep people for falling for it. There is no good that people can do getting in on this. They control edits and the final cut. Even if you give the perfect interview they will just decided not to show it."

FYI the same people behind the show have been responsible for attacks on the fandom in the past. Some friends of mine are trying to bring awareness to this.

 Yagodka is holding a milestone raffle to celebrate closing in on 400 watchers!

Go check it out:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49288317/

Once upon a time there was this girl I liked.

She vacationed in Europe.

Now she's getting married to someone she met there.

I have no idea what to even do with myself any more.

Like, yes! Great! Awesome! I'm happy for her!

But I'm turning 40 next year and my life is falling apart.

I'm the only one I know who is still meaningfully single with no prospects.

I look at the future and see a yawning gulf...of nothing. Nothing meaningful. Just movies watched by myself, interactions had on the internet, days spent not speaking to anyone, wandering alone through crowds. Playing video games in a darkened room by myself on a Friday night.

I can't do this any more.

I have seen and done things I wanted so much to share with someone special, but always there is only an empty seat next to me. Someday soon, both seats will be empty.

The number of furries that have been jumping down my throat over my character's name has been steadily increasing over the last five years. This past weekend, I was nearly autobanned from an online con I had taken days off work to attend. Mind you, my character's name has been "Coon Surya" since at least 2006. Until around five years ago, the only people who were giving me shit over it were non-fur trolls or people who were in actual anti-fur groups in places like Second Life. In all that time, how I present the character hasn't changed much, if at all...so I'm over here wondering what has.

I shouldn't have to keep explaining to furries that Coon is a raccoon. Y'all are neither stupid nor are you children, but I keep having to explain this to you like you are and now I'm starting to wonder.

Also, did you know that Coon is an actual real name that some people have? It's not common, but there are some of these people out there. I'm starting to feel really bad for them!

Now that my housemate is over the worst of Covid, we discussed the rest of the year.

Before Megaplex became a realistic opportunity, we had our sights set on Bewhiskered. We were both pleased with how well its first year went, and as a founding contributor I did kind of want to go back (plus I'm intensely curious what they plan to do with the Murder Mystery theme). After doing a review of the hotel and con costs, we determined that-while things will be a bit tight-we can actually do Bewhiskered this year as well. It's a lot cheaper than most, even Megaplex. Shockingly they even still had tickets available at early bird prices....the con is in October!

I have two online cons and a concert I was mulling over in between now and then. I think I will nix the concert and dial back on at least one of the online conventions in favor of Bewhiskered. CozyCon still has not announced a new theme and I don't see them doing more stuff with the synthwave thing than they've done already, so I'll probably be spending less on that one; I already got all the merch I wanted from them last year for the theme.

So...yeah. We'll be at Bewhiskered. Hope to see you all there! :3

I can honestly say that for a variety of reasons this summer has been one of the best, most memorable summers I've had in many many, many years. Sensing a coming end to things, I've been spending more on myself recently. I've been chasing exotic flavors of Mountain Dew across state lines, going to Retro Game conventions to reclaim the family's lost Nintendo games (which, thanks to fantastic luck with low prices I've nearly completely achieved), and have been venturing forth more back into the (mostly) post-Covid world.

Megaplex, hosted in my childhood hometown of Orlando, Florida, was one of those contributors to why this year has been different from most. It was their last year at the Caribe Royal Resort, a resort hotel just down the road from SeaWorld and in driving distance to Universal Studios and Disney World. We had no intentions to visit these fine attractions due to money concerns, but still made some time to visit lesser-known venues, such as The Abbey, where we saw a performance by Aurellio Voltaire. We also took a repast to Soupa Saiyan, a Dragonball Z-themed ramen and Vietnamese noodle house, which was actually quite good.

So, from what I understand, Megaplex had originally started as an anime convention, and the furry fandom took over it over the course of several years. I don't know if this is true or not, but my roommate was concerned about people being unfriendly the first day of the con after he was ghosted by the friends who invited him down. I tend to be pretty solitary myself, so I am ok with the standoffish crowds at anime conventions or at least I am tolerant enough to want to attend them occasionally. I don't think my roommate was expecting it as much, though he did warm up to the con and start talking to more people in the second and third day of the con, though he spent much of the event sleeping. We did run into some people we knew from elsewhere, so we had that to lean on.

The hotel was amazing, with it's own sitting room separate from the bedroom. Used to getting cramped two-bedroom hotels we didn't expect the room to be that big, otherwise we may have insisted on bringing a third to help drive the price down. The hotel had a large pool that wrapped halfway around the property complete with a waterslide and waterfall. Now, I've been going to cons for years now and most hotels have pools; but this is the first time I've ever actually made a point of bringing my swim trunks and going swimming at the con. It was so much fun! I endeavor to do this more often in the future, wherever these facilities are available. The staff was curious and friendlier than most hotels-I had a cabanna waitstaff member ask me about the characters we were portraying and assisted two lovely hotel cleaning ladies at one of the raves the last night of the con. The only downside to the hotel, and probably the reason why the convention is leaving it, would have to be the severely limited parking. I was able to luck into a good spot after a lot of driving around on the first night, but not everyone was so lucky, and a lot of people ended up getting towed despite the fact that they had rooms at the hotel.

From here to Orlando was roughly 8 hours of driving, and my roommate and I swapped out every four hours to give each other breaks. The trip down was very nice; uneventful with memorable trips through cities like Savannah, St. Augustine, Jacksonville and Daytona. I wish we had more money and been able to stop at more places or even go to the beach but we had decided early on to make the con our focus, and it paid off in the long run as I didn't spend too much, despite how terribly expensive Orlando can get (I do regret eating out more often than I should have). We did stop at Bucky's, which holy heck, was worth the detour. The ride back was more tense, as we drove through several bouts of torrential rain and my roommate had an "autistic episode" (his words) which led to about an extra hour of driving time. This was inconvenient since our late exit from the Caribe Royal meant we wouldn't get home until after dark, and my roommate's night sight is not great. We worked it out though, and I got us home. We both feel like this is a con we can do again, though maybe not on regular rotation. We would both very much like to see more of Florida before it gets destroyed by climate change, and Megaplex looks to be a good vehicle for doing that.

Originally our plan was to do Bewhiskered next but we both talked about our finances and I don't think it's on the table any longer, unless if things should somehow just fall into place for it. It's location in NC makes it a lot closer and a lot cheaper, but...I dunno. It's not going to tear me up if I miss it as after Megaplex I'm feeling like I've had my fill, and anything else is just a bonus.

Next year I think we are going to stick closer to what we usually do, and just attend FWA and one smaller semi-local fandom con, most likely Bewhiskered since ASE folded and Blue Ridge keeps doing stupid crap like attendance caps and overpriced camping hotels in Asheville. I have several home maintenance projects that need worked on that I will need to put money into, so I expect that will keep me occupied for the year up to my 40th birthday.

So yeah. I've at long last, had a summer that felt like freakin' summer. And it ain't over yet...it's only August and I've a few online events yet to do.

They're trying to raise money to get out.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10226174/

This guy!

It's been on my radar for a while, this year they are doing an 80's theme and I thought to myself, why not?

My skin crawls at the thought of entering Death-Cult DeSantis' Florida, but It's time to start taking the bucket list seriously. Past time actually, as I don't plan on being around for much longer.

The drive down is gonna suck but I'm ready for some F U N ~ I'm ready to kick things up a notch!

I just...really hope it works out. I remember going to Virgina Beach for FursonaCon and feeling isolated and depressed for much of the con. There's also the fact that Covid is not over yet and FL is death-central whenever there's an outbreak, so it'll be risky even if there isn't a shut-down. On top of that it's Florida, and we're due for a very active hurricane season this year. And if that wasn't enough, inflation is probably going to be collapsing the economy around the time Megaplex is supposed to happen.

It will be nice to go to Florida again though...As backwards as the place is, whenever you cross the border you just...feel different. I spent the first half of the 90's in the state, and Orlando was my stomping ground, so it'll be my first time back in a long time. No bones about it, SC is definitely my home; but when I think back to my childhood in Florida there are fewer places I want to burn down.