Since I posted anything here. Journal or story wise. And yes, I have three hundred fifty nine watchers. Watchers that I do appreciate, by the way. Even if I never say thank you.

I like to think that all these watchers watch me due to the fact that they might somewhat like my writing. Problem is, I have little to write about. I can't come up with any good ideas. So, if you really dig my style, and you have a story idea swimming around in your grey matter, then by all means, send me a note about it, and I'll see what I can come up with.

Eventually, I'd like to see if my writing is good enough so that I could get paid as a freelance writer.

You boys finally won in a firefight. Except, of cours,e as usual, it was only a victory due to the fact that the people with whom you were engaged in the firefight didn't actually have guns.

So good job on showing the whole world your worthlessness and cowardice.

I don't even know why I'm saying this. I don't have that many fucking watchers anyways. Not many I deserve at least.

Well over one hundred fifty watchers. What am I doing right? Is my depravity truly that inspiring?

In other news, I'm still going for commission. Ore whatever the term may be. You know, of Splinter and his boys. Of gargoyes. So yes, should anyone read this, and is taking commissions, call me.

....But this firestorm of controversy about FA getting hacked and Adam Wan screwing horses and all of the drama that followed is some of the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life. So I say yes. Let's keep the drama going. This shit is too fucking funny.

Other than kids in Santa Monica getting a full night's sleep.


The Beatles are now on iTunes.

"250 people are Justin Beiber fans."
"Justin Beiber has 547 accounts on youtube."
"2,109 people missed the like button."
"The 430 dislikes are stupid."
"16 people have no souls."

Fuck shit, people. That is getting old. As much as the poor child is hated, Justin Beiber is probably the most mentioned name on Youtube right now. Even if they are all negative. Youtube should have never come out with that like/dislike button crap. It's not even funny even more. Just to show my dislike for that system, as well as Katy Perry, I disliked that silly-ass Teenage Dream video. I also said something along the lines of, "1,061 people have great taste in music. Here, let me make it 1,062. This stupid bitch can't fucking sing." And of course, two hours later, I got a rather nasty reply from one of Katy's fans. I can't remember what she said exactly, but she sounted slike she just got her pubes in, and it ended with the word asshole. In fact, I'm going to start doing that. Just to start a new trend, and to counter that stupid old tread. In fact, I think I'll start with a Taylor Swift video. Kanye was right. She is a terrible singer, and Beyonce was better.

Hope Lives. With ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK!!

Fucking E621 just got shut down. Permanently. Sonsabitches. And that was one of my favorite porn sites, too. Why the fuck would people do this, man?

(sigh)....

Though, I have to say, that little kitten and the synth music that the administrator put up in the goodbye page is awful cute.

Um. Wow. Fuck. Eighty-two watchers. Am I that good? I mean, shit. I never thought I'd get past ten watchers. I'n flattered, yet, at the same time, nervous. Eighty-two fans expecting me to continue my writing. It almost make me wanna continue to learn to draw.

First of all, I apoligize for the prvious journal. It's just that, The Hurt Locker? Come on. I saw that movie, and it was dumb. It was the same scene over and over again. Will he or will he not get himself blown up? Academy jagoffs....

Anyhoo, how does one motivate themselves to draw? To create art? To be able to get the images out of one's head, and down onto paper, on rthe computer screen or whatever media one chooses. I tried Riven Phoenix's program, the structure of man, but it quicley got boring and repetitive. I guess I just don't have the passion that other people have for art. My passion is my job and my physical activities. I believe one must enjoy drawing to be any good at it. And for me, drawing doesn't bring the jot that it brings to the greats. Crap. I wasted too much money on all this artsy crap.

MOTHERFUCK SHIT PISS COCKSUCK ASS BITCH DAMMIT! THE HURT LOCKER? JESUS CHRIST IN THE CARRIBEAN!! In 1994, I was only ten years old. So I had yet to discover the awesomeness that was Pulp Fiction, so I was ok when I heard that Forrest Gump won best picture instead. Now, 16 years later, Quentin has another chance. I'm hopeful, but I'm thinking to myself, come on, James has the highest grossing movie of all time, not to mention it's runner up, under his belt. Cameron is a good man for Tarantino to lose to. Fuck man, but not this. Not this travesty, bomb, piece of shit movie. I want the academy, who don't deserve to have the first letter capitalized, to try to explain themselves this time. One of the movie's producers was banned from the ceremony for overpromoting the movie, for fuck's sake!! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!

FFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!!

I'm still stuck at stick figures. I want to learn to draw, just like all those artists I admire, like Mommyspike, Kadath, Phantomlion, Max Dragon, Lysozyme, Furronika, Chris Sawyer, and all the othr greats. I'm tired of spending money to get the porn I want. I wanna make my own smut, dammit! Sure, I got those few stories, but I want to try my hand at visual naughtiness. Right now, I'm reading Drawing for Dummies. I also purchased the book, Figure Drawing for Dummies. Do I need to go through the former before I go through the latter? The former said that I need to access and exercise the right side of my brain to draw, which I think is my weakness. I guess being a corrections officer and dealing with the biggest assholes in Texas sorta beats down any creativeness one might have. Confucius say, give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime. So, whoever teaches me to fish, er, I mean, draw, gets unlimited commissions from me if I leard to draw well.

Motherfuck my tablet. Useless piece of shit. I can't use that thing. Instead, I'm teaching myself to use just regular ol' pencil and paper. It turns out I'm far better with that than digital media. Problem is, right now, I'm kinda stuck doing stick figure poses. Plus, my scanner won't fuggin' work. But I have all these visions in my head I wanna get down on paper, but I don't have the artistic capabilities to do it.

A friend of mine recently told me a story which, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I thought was kinda funny. He told me of a friend of his who married a woman who suffered from grand mal seizures. One night, while they were having sex, she went into one hard. Luckily for him, he was on top, or it would have been a lot worse. I know very little about seizures, but from I do know, the victim's whole body tightens up, and they start to kick and thrash wildly. Well, as you can imagine, this woman tightened up so badly, that the poor guy couldn't pull out. Her vaginal muscles squeezed his penis so hard, it hurt like hell. His balls got all bruised up, and he had to fight to pin her down to the matress. My friend said they couldn't make love for two weeks after that. Now, like I said, when he told me this story, I started laughing. In retrospect, it was kinda mean for me to laugh, but still. Thoughts, anyone? What would you do, guys, if you were in that situation?

I finally got my tablet in! Now I can make my own pronz and finally get a second source of income! There's just one problem so far. I can't draw for shit. I'm looking to draw figures. Help, anyone?

Talent isn't all that expensive. I just ordered an art tablet off of Amazon for just over $60. I'm woried that the price will make it a piece of shit. Now, I did some drawing when I was younger, but I have forgotten how. I struggle with stick figures. I'd like to start with anatomy pictures. Basic poses and muscle structures. Help, anyone? If I get good, I'll draw your character for free.

Well, shit. There goes my hopes of being an artist. There ain't no damn way I'm doing traditional media, like pen and pencils on paper, because I have no working scanner. I tried looking up a tablet for sale online, and they were all ungodly expensive. There was one where you could draw directly on the screen, which cost a total of $1500. the cheapest ones I can find were about $200. If anybody has a tablet they'd like to get rid of, the most I'll pay is about $100. I'd like to start making my own porn instead of payiong everyone else to do it for me.

I just got home from 2012. Typical CGI shitfest. Cool scenes of destruction, but typical didaster movie ending. No one listens to the one scientist who actually knows what the hell is going on. Crisis or no, everyone is jumping up and shouting hooray and hugging and kissing each other at the end. I was hoping that, just for a change, humanity would get wiped out. We would become extinct, and aliens would make names for themselves by incorrectly reassembling our bones. We have a Democrat in the office, so of course, just like with Air Force One and Independence Day, the president is seen as a guiding light and brave saviour. If Cain had won, the president would have shit himself ast the first tremor, and would have probably wound up committing suicide or something. Not to say it wan't a good movie. Ok, atually, that's exactly what I'm saying. Shit. I knew I shoulda seen The Men WHo Stare At Goats, or Where the Wild Things Are.

Why lie? I have discovered that I enjoy writing smut. And slowly but surely, I am getting more and more favorites for my Brooklyn and Broadway story. Which leads me to believe that I am doing something right. And I am a founder of the Froogle Artist Guild, so I must deliver. The going price is $10. I do both Homosexual and Heterosexual stories. They might get cheaper, seeing as how I just started this.

Things I don't do,

Heavy Bondage
Torture
Pedophelia
Heavy Violence
People
Watersports
Poop
Rape

Things I will do,

Heterosexual
Homosexual
Maybe lesbianism
Mutual beneficial spanking
Love Stories

Basically, if you like my style, and you want a custom story, email me, and we can work something out. I have another story in the works, but I wont release it until PhantomLion finishes his pic to match with it.