Have a nice time, make sure to eat tons! :3

Fellow I follow be holding a free raffle for their 1500 watcher celebration

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/63040923/

Hope everyone has a fun and safe Halloween weekend!

Get and enjoy all those spooks, scares, tricks and treats!

Today mark one year since my mom passed away, still weird feeling not having her around..

Feel like shit, already disliked this time of year (end of year), my 20 year long depression shows up hard around then and hate that's extended this far as I always loved Halloween but now this month has my mother's passing bound to it, so makes it less enjoyable and with my pre-existing dislike for December, likely not going to be real active.

Will still stream but not going to be real outgoing for a couple months, sorry for the negativity but just letting it be known, in case people wonder if/why I'm silent, distant, seemingly uncaring.
It's nothing y'all did, just a pre-existing thing that's gone on for decades.

Hey all, know things are rough for everyone but one of my friends  wolfydarkfang is having a especially hard time currently, him and his mother are going through multiple issues, like currently their electric company are being dicks and giving them hardly any power at all to use till they (the power co.) are paid.
Among other things all said better on their gofundme here: https://gofund.me/50a7866e

Please help any, even if it's just spreading the word is greatly appreciated.

Hope everyone enjoys all the noms and being nommed~

Can't believe it's already been an entire year since Dragoneer passed away, I am glad he is getting this for the amount of time, money and all he put into FA and the community was beyond recognition, the debt and stress he endured to make sure FA was always running... I can not imagine.

Regardless of how you think of him, he helped to make all of this here and I think many take that for granted, FA isn't just a place for art, stories or such, it's a communal hub where furries can meet, chat and make friends too.
None of this here would be possible with Dragoneer, hell, the furry community might've never grown as strong as it has if not for Dragoneer and FA

Thank you for everything Dragoneer, I do wish I gotten to meet you but am glad you are at peace now. No more stress, no more pain nor world problems.
Fly free up there big guy, you'll always be remembered and appreciated for everything you did for us.

Sometimes the most important thing a person can ever say is
"I Was Here"

Rest In Peace Dragoneer~ <3

Why this year sucks and treating many of those I care about poorly, I dunno... A long time friend is in a pretty bad situation, if you could help out or lest spread word on this then they'd be grateful for sure!
Here's their journo, with link to their gofundme in it, their gofundme has the entire story and the issues.

Again, help even just by telling others.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11187539/

Hey everyone, don't do this ofter but last night I watched the pilot for a new dinosaur animated series (hopefully) called Talon.
I really wanna see it succeed.

It's about a young raptor named Talon, and a sauropod named Koda as they gain powers from a mysterious fella and artifact to help defend themselves and heir homes against a looming evil.

The animation is incredibly good, so nice seeing 2D work still, the voice acting is very good too! Feel free to watch and see for your selfs:

https://youtu.be/hf_-jIiyyD0?si=P_RgvJhI9m3xW1QB

If enjoyed as much as I did, support the series best y'all can, even if just word of mouth so they can continue it!

Also, the name for their studio/team, Lunar Dragon Entertainment, very epic just saying~

Just wanted to make a journal thanking everyone for sticking with me over ALL these years, recently broke 150k pageviews AND I'm almost at 2000 watchers... Which is mind boggling as I'm kiiiinda a nobody in the grand scheme of things on FA.

But still, thanks all, rather yer my friends, enjoyers of what I get, just lurkers or even not in the community anymore, I still appreciate you all! Y'all help me keep going strong. (And wanted to make a more positive journal to show)

ALSO, happy 10 anniversary to the 2015 film Jurassic World (yes am a day late), one of my favorite films AND was the reason behind Kade, my Indominus Rex, my first secondary character ever besides Kiya, he was made at the end of 2015. (When I got JW on DVD)
So just imagine my most recent art posts are a tribute to such, which they kinda are!

So, managed to fix my PC, as in fact my graphics card, so managed to swap out my GPU to a new one, so that's working again, yay I guess. (Thanks everyone for the advices for such btw)
Good thing to, cause everything else sure is going to hell.

Maaaaaaay be losing my MS treatments, with all the steps needed just to get it now, I can't, no one in this state's medical system grasps (or cares) that I CAN'T WALK OR DRIVE, nor do I have anyone to drive me to these appointments yet the sentiment is basically: "Oh well, you gotta figure out something, we can't do anything."... Bitches, fuck yall.

Worse is my medicaid isn't going to cover my MS treatment unless I do these things.. Cool, thanks U.S. government, thought you were suppose to help your citizens.. OH, wait, I'm not a billionaire, I'm a normal peasant so just fuck me, right, sorry I forgot.

So yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do... Dunno how missing my treatments will effect my health, dunno what or how to fix things, just... Wanna lay in bed and do nothing, kinda getting to the point am only happy or more so not in constant worry/stress is when I'm asleep in my dreams or playing games, though those might get ruined depending how my MS goes with no treatment. *shrugs*
I just don't care anymore, I'm tired mentally and physically from all this BS.

Fuck everything.

Is there any techies able to help out? My gaming PC no longer shows on my screen and nothing I do can fix it, used different HDMI ports on my PC and on my monitor (Roku smart TV), used 3 different HDMI cables even bought a Display Port adaptor for the HDMI, nothing still.

My PC turns on and works fine there but the signal isn't coming through, monitor/TV acts as if the PC is still turned off even when it isn't and I don't know what to do anymore, dunno if something IN my PC is faulty or what, it's been fine for 4 years now, only started for a week or two go... When I'd be playing a game then sudden black screen then the screen that shows when it's unplugged/turned off, PC is still on but can't see until I hard restarted it, did this more and more till where we're at now.

I'm not leaving FA or anything, still gonna get/post art whenever able but the furry community isn't a damned community anymore... It isn't "welcoming" anymore for damn sure, I talked about this some in my last journal but the community here has let IRL politics, hatred and other BS infest and grow, now it's as toxic as any other community or fandom.

I do not give a fuck if you are conservative or liberal, I don't care what race, sex, religion, sexual orientation and etc you are.
If you and any other person have issues and beef, that is between the two of you/sides. DO NOT drag me into that BS, that is not MY damn fight, I am tired of being the fucking parent to fucking arguing children (I've been doing such many times over the 20 damned years in this community) and I am TIRED.

Leave me out of all your BS views, demands and sides... Yes, it's gonna piss many off am sure cause anyone in the middle are the ones who get the middle finger from both sides (Even if y'know... We centrist are likely the more sensible of anyone).

Just, the "US vs THEM" crap is UNFAIR to me, unfair to others who don't want that. I have SO MANY issues I am dealing with already in life, I do not need all this feuding BS stacking on top of everything else, it just adds more stress, more depression on me.

So yes, sorry to everyone this angers but I DO NOT AND WILL NOT EVER PICK ANY SIDE.
Least not until this entire world settles the fuck down and human beings actually THINK and have rational thought again.
Though, with how things are going nowadays, the world's gonna be fucking destroyed to hell in a few years anyway so guess it's whatever?

But yah, I rather be on MY own side which is ME and myself, and may be breaking from the community for a while, I am still going to be a dragon/dinosaur/and etc, I am a furry but NOT part of the community, if that makes sense.

In the end, can everyone just be DECENT human beings again?

I'm sorry for more downer journals but over the past months. With my mom's passing hitting (still is) hard and just been really reflecting on my life, being 35yo now and such... Call it a midlife crisis, over thinking my mortality or whatever.. But I can tell and FEEL I'm just not happy anymore, not happy in the free sense like I was 10-20 years ago.. Thinking about everything up to now.

About things I've always wanted and dreamed to do... Like go to a furry convention, it was my one thing I wanted ever since I joined the community in 2004, but first it was my age, then my money issues and now it's my physical problems, I'll likely never will get to go to one or ANY con again, hell, can't even go to fur meets even and it bothers me, especially since I've always been an extreme introvert yet it was something I looked forward too for SO many years...

Hell, I've spent the last 2 years in my room/house, the ONLY time I ever get to leave to go out is to the hospital for my infusions, I LITERALLY spend every day in my room... Plus, now my MS has my hands flaring up whenever I play games or talk online too much, it's why I rarely if ever RP anymore, I can only game for a couple hours nowadays, everything I enjoy is being taken and it sucks... Y'know?

Also been questioning my part in the community too, I'm past my prime here, I know this and hate it... I can't draw anymore, can't write so I can just buy commissions when able but that just doesn't feel the same.
Plus, I think of all my friends and friends I USED to have... I think about those who I... We lost, maybe if I talked to them more maybe they'd still be here? Plus so many I WISHED I had met but never did... Makes me stressed to talk more to my friends now, but with the mentioned above... I physically CAN'T, I wanna talk to all my friends all day and know I care about ALL of you SO much, regardless if I speak or not.
I just miss the past, I miss drawing, talking to so many, having excitement for the furry community I as new too back then.. I miss being happy, being free.

Plus, the community itself isn't the same nowadays... ALL this political BS, Corvid, hate and etc. has infested the community (like it has everything else in life currently), plus with furries being so mainstream now just... It doesn't feel the same as it did back in the early 2000's, when furries were so niche, we were smaller, more united back then... What ever happened to the biggest controversy in the community was being a episode of CSI?
Gaming and gamers were the same in the 90's and 2000's too, so small and niche but now gaming is VERY mainstream, it's bigger than ANY other form of media (movies, music and more) so it's not the same now.. It doesn't mean the same to be a gamer now and the furry community is the same now too, and it doesn't bring the same joy as it used too.

I just miss those years back then when everyone, every THING was care free and simpler, while dreading the future, mainly for myself cause I'm halfway through my life and being where I am now, it just hurts... There ARE good things yes, I am VERY glad and protective of those flames but I just feel like there is not much else for me. *shrugs*


Sorry if the journal doesn't make since... It's just a old dragon rambling and reflecting on his past and fate and such after laying in bed, thinking, tearing up and such, just been depressed and such again.

A long time and very close friend of mine is in dire situations with debts and financial issues cause his father abandoned him and his mom a few years back and now things have built up too much, his journal on the whole manner and needs can be found here:

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11060735/

His gofundme is here:

https://gofund.me/7e7bcfa4

If you can't help by donating, least help spread the word, thanks.

Welp, it's natural dragon appreciation day again!

Love all you dragons out there who follow me and not!

(I appreciate ALL of you non-dragons too fyi)
But this be our day to enjoy, RAWR!

Hope and wishing everyone a safe night and a good/better year in 2025! <3

Hope everyone has a wonderful, safe and enjoyable holidays and new year!

Love ya all! <3

Welp, it's now officially my hatchday once again, I am 35 now... Argh, hate this being halfway though life already.

I am old dragon now, I should update my looks to better show my age. >..>

Happy Halloween everyone!
Hope y'all stay safe and get many treats tonight.

First, want to send major thank yous to EVERYONE, for all the support and well wishes and all.
It really means a lot to me, really glad to know so many here.

Things still hurt, still suck but I am managing, soldiering through it best I can, going through all the legal lees BS of wills, cremation, life insurance policies and all. It's tiresome and been wearing me down alot over the last few days, not to mention taking care of the pets we have and such.
I'm alright but yeah, losing one's mom is a thing you can't ever fully get over. Still, am trying as I know she wanted me happy and to take care of myself. Slowly going to work to be active again and such, gonna be posting a new dino I got this week maybe, also going to get back into streaming more again too.

Also, like everyone else, most of my twitter/"X" stuff will be shifted to bluesky here: https://bsky.app/profile/kiyadrakon.bsky.social

Again, thank you, all of you.
I care about all of you, I try to be the best I can be for you all and will still continue to try.

My mom has died... Just got called by my dad at the hospital that she's passed... Never got to say goodbye or I love you to her again after she was taken from home...

Sorry if I don't communicate for a while... I'm.. Well.. Yeah...

Mom is in the hospital, she is stable atm, getting hydrated and nutrition through IVs.
Doesn't stop the timer for the inevitable looming happening but.. She's being taken care of for now.

Of course, she is at the hospital which means everything at home falls on me and my dad, more so me as dad is up with her atthe hospital.
So dealing with that currently.

Still have this all to worry about, and my future residency and placement and all but... Least a lil hope I guess, things still suck currently but I'm managing.

Things have gotten worse...

My mom is dying... She has Lou Gehrigs disease, she said she was given 3 years to live on her last doctor visit last month but her health is dropping way faster.
She can't eat, drink or talk, can't move barely, just wasting away...
This on top of everything ese just... I'm likely not going to be overly active for a while...

Everything has finally happened... Monday we will be calling the Humane Society to take all our animals and family will be looking to go into assisted living/nursing home.
For me... I dunno what will happen to me now.

My mom has fallen twice the last few days, she is in bad health, my dad can't do much anymore so we finally hit that limit, we can't stay here...

We are kinda fucked.

I've been strong, or tried... I don't know now what to do anymore...

Don't know what will happen to me now...
I'm lost...