What do you prefer to watch streams on?

The last couple streams both had people complaining to me about picartos interface and user friendliness, and I feel like it's something that could definitely detract from the experience. My stream isn't the highest quality already because of the internet, if people have to fight the fucking website for 20 minutes to just tune in and chat they definitely won't want to stay.

I know there used to be a guest option on picarto but thanks to some bad faith actors I don't have guest access enabled now for many years...too many trolls for that unfortunately, not sure why they always came to stream lol

What do y'all who watch streams think? As a streamer picarto is easier for me to use but I want to hear what potential watchers have to say

I eventually im gonna have to come clean about the big scary health thing but

Just know that it contributed to me probably losing my job that took two years to get

And I'm very close to taking my own life

And I'm so so so so tired of fighting and struggling and being jobless and broke and a pathetic piece of shit and sick af and everything else under the goddamned sun moon and stars

I've Had it
I'm so fucking done

it's time for another art stream, but what is trashchef cooking TO-DAY?
FIND OUT ON TODAY'S EPISODE OF PICARTO
(Mic: OFF | Music: OFF)
https://picarto.tv/Exavier

starting at 8am PST (GMT-8)
so about 40-ish minutes

i will post another journal when its time

maybe i'll spend this stream making the stream advert image lol
https://picarto.tv/Exavier

i complained too much about not having any hours so now im getting overtime........help.....

nothing fancy. no mic no music and just fucking around drawing
https://picarto.tv/Exavier

edit: streamed for5 hours waooow

sat/sun/mon are the days, the times are random, the pain is variable but i need to get back into learning how to draw lmao

*anouncer voice*
THE QUALITY IS CRUNCHY AS FUCK
ONE MAN
ONE TABLET
I WILL NOT BE SHOVING IT UP MY ASS ON CAM
QUESTIONABLE DRAWINGS

BEEEEEE THEEEERE (or dont, idc, im not ur dad)

https://picarto.tv/Exavier

Got a bunch for 15 or lower today since I got distracted yesterday and didnt make anything new lmao~
https://toyhou.se/Whitaker/characte.....folder:1222244

I will ALSO accept 15usd each for any ofthese remaining designs exept the bat bc i dont remember if i sold him rn :
https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery.....59/Open-Adopts

So one of the problems with the previous and current (and maybe next) month are that apparently the hours of my work are seasonal. This is not a time for a lot of new product, shelf resets, etc so the work the last month has effectively just...fucking dried up. My checks are half that of my coworkers because as the new guy I get starved for hours when there's nothing to do and we have to work directly for the store (with the stores we work for, that means stuff like cleaning, dusting, facing and pushing merch to the floor..which are also employee tasks so they get pissy with us because it's a union store). I've been really struggling the last couple weeks, then this pay cycle has been fucking abysmal too. My supervisor fought hard for me to get hours for today but unfortunately looks like im starting my weekend early against my will. A day off at the cost of being able to pay my bills...yiipiieeeee dhjkgdhjfg

I'm really stressed out. Really really really stressed. On top of other looming health stuff now all of this to worry about lol. I have a job and Im still struggling just to pay my basic needs and bills, let alone being able to worry about refunds. I'm going to try and go to the bank and get a small loan today and see if I cant consolidate all my payments or something. That way it'll be easier to just pay it all down one time.

I also also want to try and make some adoptables today, wrist being the most important deciding factor. It does hurt to draw but I dont have much of a choice, i'm really living the dream rn lmao.
I want to try and make -something- today? We'll see idk

Hope you guys are having a better time of it fdhgjfdd

Realized how long it’s been since I posted an update of any kind here uhm

Last month I fractured my wrist of my drawing hand. I also got nerve damage from the injury.
At the same week I started a full time job. I get up at 3am and work until 1:30pm and commute home. Most nights I am in bed around 6:30pm, so things in a weekday are only important stuff like cleaning, groceries, doctor, small time with family.

I have been very sick since may and sometimes breathing is not a thing that happens but we’re working on it. Next month I will lose my health insurance and food stamps. I am in intense asthma treatment so I don’t know what will happen. I will have to ration my medication (the most important one is almost $200 with a pharmacy coupon).

Sometimes work is ok with accommodation but sometimes they are not very understanding and I have a day like Wednesday this week where they force me to work on the freezer and give me an asthma attack. I can’t afford to not work with them cutting my health insurance but doing so will probably kill me.

Are we great yet? Lmao.

As an update to the post here:

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11186647/

After spending multiple hours on the phone with both my bank and with PayPal, the consensus is that I’m being told to blow it out my ass and pay back money I don’t fucking owe but they say I do.

It’s cool to know neither institution has their customers back so, I’m still attempting desperately to sell ocs to pay this nearly $130 negative balance remaining.

Pretty much the same thing I put on bsky but with more flavor bc WORD COUNT.
I despise taking donations; it makes me feel weak, makes me feel useless. But I'm at a point right now where I absolutely cannot take on more commission work in addendum to what I have going on already.
Despite me being careful with my money and making active, concentrated efforts at book keeping, something got through unnoticed, and not something small either.
So after paypal and my bank playing hockey with a bill for a while, it settled on this: my paypal is almost 200$ negative. I use it for EVERYTHING money wise and I need it to be in working order akak "in the black". Not because i didnt try, but because I'm fucking stupid and can barely function as-is. Sometimes I can actively feel myself becoming stupid and it's a strange kind of psychological horror. I have new meds I cant even start to try because of my current migraine. Yes, another one. My entire saga with my ears and teeth was for nothing. I am put on this earth to suffer, clearly. :)
Anyway, I should have had somebody else do my books, and I didnt, because I was ashamed and that's on me.

But whats -not- on me is that I have almost 400 job apps out in the wilderness. i dont even get rejections. Ive been trying for over a year to get gainful employment. I've had many, many health setbacks and still do (9 day migraine as of writing this) and Im *still* fucking trying, but trying just isnt good enough. I cant make enough sales to cover this on my own, I cant produce enough new things to even -maybe- sell (bc lets be real they barely sell) and now despite me really ,really trying I still got fucked. I fucked myself, they fucked me, it doesn't matter in the end. I only know right now that I *sorely* need help and even though it sucks to ask for it, it's worth asking. I don't plan to repost this over and over, so whatever comes from it, that's what it shall be. I am...soul-crushingly exhausted. I have tried so hard and still failed. I literally just paid off all my debts so I could work on things in peace and at my own pace, and then this happens. I dont have the luxury of pretending I dont need help right now. ):


https://ko-fi.com/exavier/goal?g=11

https://toyhou.se/5060501.160-toussaint-sona
Willing to let her go for 125 which is effectively almost a fourth of what I spent in her cvdccxvzzccc dying

If you can’t view with the above link please try here
https://toyhou.se/5060501.160-touss.....JBSBLUMwmTb6wz

I already opened an account somewhere else bc i got so tired of dealing with these people while i was ailing
but HELP ME MOVE BANKS by fixing the overdraft they caused me by being fucking stupid as hell, so i can close out this nightmare account for good!

by me:
https://toyhou.se/33564685.35-sound-fury
https://toyhou.se/33728887.45-deser.....aint-naaviodon
https://toyhou.se/33282620.malone - $45
https://toyhou.se/13104592.stakataka - $35
https://toyhou.se/16414781.petra - $25

by others:
https://toyhou.se/30425057.lux - $30
https://toyhou.se/33314176.taro - $35
https://toyhou.se/27459175.orpheus - $45

Also have a shit ton in my sales folder!
https://toyhou.se/Whitaker/characte.....folder:1222244

Had somebody back out of a spot and get a refund SO back at it again at the Krispy Kreme

Hello I am incredibly tired and on mobile but I have 2 spots open for sketches to be completed in mid to late August!
All the info and examples are in my bsky post:
https://bsky.app/profile/exavier.bs...../3lsp5knyzs224

There are 2 kinds available this round(and they have confusing names bc I’m an idiot) so make sure to choose the right one!

Rough= painted
Smooth = how I normally do

I’m about to spend the next few days working feverishly through the queue. I finish 2-3 every other day depending on response times ✌️🤤

we are gonna have multiple days over 103-106 this week so it'll be a good time to just hide in the dark with the tablet lmao
been fighting for my life with my asthma so i havent been up to much but hopefully getting more done soon. trying to effectively split my time is my weakness OTL

ablublubluesky

https://bsky.app/profile/exavier.bsky.social

where i post .. the same stuff as here! but you should follow me anyway :eye:

Birth. Huzzah or something 🎉🫩

I DELETED THE OTHER ONE BECAUSE IM A DUMBASS OTL

$ paid


fulls:
$ squirrelteeth - coloring..
$ JWP x2? 3?

sketches:
$aurumpaws x3 - 1 done, 2 not started, 3 not started
$lewdeon x2 - 1 done, 2 coloring...
$trajan - sketching...
$ g00da x2 - not started
$lunarmage - not started
$raelbny - not started
$firezone44 - not started
$Kiba-kun - not started
$Tsuzurao - not started
$Gzi (bsky) - not started
$Vesper (bsky) - not started
$Kip-kat (bsky) - not started
$Shoque (disc) - Not started

August batch:
$KeyLead *(bsky) - not started

previous $10 stuff:
$meep
$rpdofficer
$christykitsune

other stuff:
$baja x2 - 1 sketching, 2 not started
$jaxzoi - adopt extras

IF YOU DONT SEE YOURSELF HERE OR YOUR INFO IS WRONG PLEASE LET ME KNOW ;- ;