.....Okay, but can I keep the actual 'classic'? The one that doesn't hurt my brain with senseless crap invented by the people who didn't think "user interface" was a cool enough term without ramming an "X" into it sideways? I ask because I don't really trust that this is going to be more than a colour scheme, and I have this fear that I won't be able to undo this change given the high pressure we've had to abandon the nice, clean, readable classic interface.

You know why you never see anyone using hammer/pliers multitools? It's because they're outstanding at multidisciplinary uselessness. Tools tend to evolve to the point of peak usefulness; major changes beyond that point just make them less useful. FA's UI (NOT "UX") hit the point of near-peak utility some time ago. So, can we please have the assured and meaningful choice of a layout and colour scheme for generations prior to one that never knew anything more sane?

Every time I use this damned thing, I remember how dangerous my ignorance was. Critical kitchen information kiddies...

Kitchen ranges commonly come in two flavours: electric or gas. Both usually have a drawer at the bottom.

What you may not know, if you grew up with the other kind of range, is that the purpose of this drawer differs between types. In an electric range, the bottom drawer is used to store pots and pans. However, in a gas range, this drawer is for fucking setting shit on fire. Gas ranges don't have an upper burner/element. The broiler is underneath. You and the fire department are welcome.

Just as I was about to head out the door this morning, Fezdani suggested that I should call my mother and confirm that everything is in order. It wasn't. She's been very sick for several days, so everything's being pushed back until Monday. Aight, bed.

Some fucking people... I have to travel 5 hours tomorrow to 'help' my mother with an oncology appointment where I fully anticipate the revelation that she intends to schedule MAID, but yeah, let's comb through posts I've made for imaginary personal offense based on absolutely nothing. Jesus fucking christ.

Yes that's satire. Mine is a cutting wit, or at least tetanus on a barbed wire fence. Anyways, my turn to hold the asshole ball.

Wind back to around 2009. Separated on account of... let's just call it "stress," and trying to find a new path in the world. I was running a series of jewelery workshops at the local museum. Something happened a week before the last workshop, and I suspect foul play on the part of the resident artisan jeweler aristocracy, whom I shall not name. Basically, everyone inexplicably and simultaneously cancelled, with the exception of the museum administrator and her sister. I carried through regardless. I, at least, do not renege like that.

The administrator's sister was a red-haired Venus. To this day, (and please forgive me, Fezdani), I don't think I've seen another woman so... uh... abundant in her fair-skinned, sensual softness. Her form defied plausibility. Yes, she was just that sexy. Incredible. And she was there at my workshop, just like that. It was a struggle not to stare, and frankly I'm sure I failed. I tried to keep my attention where it was appropriate, and not... there. And there was so. Much. 'There.' I wanted to see more, but that line of thought was disrespectful and... well, pure fantasy. Onward with the tutorial (Byzantine chain earrings, IIRC).

So. Following the challenging workshop, this vision of desire asked me if I'd like to attend another event at a nearby museum; a tasting event centered on the history of chocolate.

My mind blanked. I just... melted. Impossible. This was something had never had nor ever could happen to... me. The schmuck. The loser. The dweeb trying to make a buck by selling art skills to housewives and bored women with a scrap of disposable income. So I told her... the 'check engine' light n my car was coming on, so I couldn't really travel.

YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

That was the end of the story, except for my shame and regret, and whatever hurt I left that beautiful woman. I don't regret my current relationship one bit (terms and conditions may apply), but I'm so sorry for the message that I sent that girl. I was never good enough. I wish she knew what a mess I was, and that it was never about her worth. I wish that I could go back and tell her, "the truth is that my future lies elsewhere, but you should know: you're not wrong. I think you're a veritable goddess of beauty, and I'm too stunned and lost to respond correctly to your unanticipated, undeserved interest. Me? Really? Can I ever express to you how unworthy I feel for your interest? I hope that some day soon someone more capable and 'with it' will give you the attention your body demands, and the appreciation you deserve. I am not the one, but in a visceral way I envy the one who is."

I'm in the right place. But I got here the wrong way, and I'm sorry. I know there's no chance, but I hope this somehow makes its way to her. She should know how angry I am with myself for the utterly incorrect impression that I gave. May you have all of the love, all of the awe, and all of the chocolate that you should have had that evening, and forever.

Listen. Men can be dumb as fuck. Never, ever doubt how attractive you are based on the reaction of some fallible fuckwad with his tongue in a knot.

Somewhat inebriated, and thanks to some random prompting I'm feeling the need to bring up a bright point of pain from my past that just never seems to go away.

She meant well. I'm sure it was... benign intent. She was thinking, "this schmuck looks like he needs a break, and it so happens that I have an ass." But aboard that subway, I was terrified. There was only standing room, but plenty of it. She didn't need to back into me like that, but she did it anyways. And she kept doing it when I backed up. There was no mistaking what she was doing. She kept going until I turned to the side, away from her. Even so, I was afraid of what she could easily do to some rando that nobody would ever believe.

I feel like she meant well, but she didn't understand the weight of what she did. She didn't really process the the concept of male consent—and honestly neither did I. This society has all but beaten the idea of female-perpetrated sexual assault out of me. It isn't rape; it's outrageous fortune, yeah? Fuck, imagine being so lucky? But what remained was fear of reprisal. Fear that at any instant she could flip the situation on its head and destroy my life with one slap. Fear the she could kill me without an instant of violence.

I respect the potential for danger than men pose for women, but there's an inequity here. There's a weaponisable inequity stemming from this... perception that only men can be aggressors. It isn't true.

I remember what she looked like. I remember that she was 5'7', had a dyed dirty blonde perm, dark greige tweed blazer with shoulder flares, and had a beige pleather purse. It's burned into me. That was, what... fifteen, twenty years ago? I remember. If she'd just said, "hey man, are you okay?" If she'd interacted with her person and not her ass, I'd feel gratitude to this day. If she'd treated me as a person and not the personification of a dick... I'd have felt safe and valued. Not so endangered and objectified.

Guys, listen. This is important. Dependent on precise timing, there's a difference between being hanged and being hung.

...Too dark?

Thanks for the game. Um... It was a good run, honestly. But I think I've seen everything within Hello Games' ability and comfort zone now. I'm saying this goodbye for my own sake and my own accountability, and I'll try to keep negativity out of it. NMS isn't just a game—it's an experiment, and we've all been both subject and observer. We've learned what will make us feel something, and what may fall flat. We better understand the challenge of persistence in an effectively unlimited game world. Perhaps some day somebody will take these lessons, and apply them to a new universe of greater depth and different priorities. When that day comes, may we meet again under a living sky.

Signing off.

16-16-16-16

Well thank god I'm a hoarder who keeps old parts "just in case," or I wouldn't have been able to replace the shredded seat washer on the tub's hot water valve at 9:30 in the evening. How I (or somebody) managed to jam it right into the stem is... probably why apes don't do plumbing. Light touch, you dumbass...

Lately I've been noticing a trend when I search with DuckDuckGo. DDG omits results that are unfavourable towards tech giants to a highly conspicuous degree which can only fairly be described as "evasive." Even the AI assist makes a blatant display of creatively misinterpreting questions that have inconvenient answers about tech companies like Google or Amazon, and if pressed about the reason for dodging it gives a limp "some people criticize DDG regarding unspecified partnerships, but DDG is 100% committed to your privacy (except for that one time that we failed at hiding what we did with Microsoft, whoopsie!)" non-answer.

Bye, then.

I've switched to Brave, and by god, wouldn't you know that there's more to the Internet than Amazon and Youtube? I guess maybe it's not the net that's been shrinking lately—it's the gate.

https://search.brave.com/

No more loyalty to those that sell us like chattel.

To whom it may concern,

The use of implied consent to unannounced privacy policy changes is a big problem. First, it's shirking the moral—and, according to the FTC, legal—duty of the company to keep users informed, passing the buck and expecting users to engage in either a hypervigilant or oblivious role. Secondly, in an increasingly authoritarian and callous political arena which notably has long been openly hostile to both the furry and LGBTQ+ communities among others, the failure to pro-actively keep users informed of well-highlighted risks poses a potential and grave danger to liberty and perhaps even life. Agreement to policy changes must be informed and explicit. Furthermore, it would behoove the administration to develop an emergency strategy to protect users in a worst case scenario.

Maid Marian (Disney's Robin Hood): If you're Gen X, straight, and you're furry, this is why. You know I'm right.

Mrs. Brisby: This lady was the awakening of my weakness for vulnerable but ultimately indomitable female characters. Can you lift a concrete block with the power of love (and a mysterious amulet imbued with the power of some unspecified eldritch source)? Thought not.

Kanga: ...Okay, listen. She is a gentle, loving mother figure with hips for days. You know I'm right.

'Girl Squirrel' (Disney's Sword in the Stone): ...You too. You know I'm right. Don't even try lying about it; when her heart broke, your heart broke.

Squirrel Girl: Maybe not really a crush, I'm just a fan really. That said... Have you seen her in Marvel Rivals? Other heroines would wish they were drawn like that if they weren't mostly so damned basic. I know her whole schtick pseudo-canonically precludes a movie, but I'd sure as hell watch it if there was one. It'd probably just be like 'Dude, Where's My Nuts?' Worth it.

Stith: Sir, yes leg-mommy Sir! Sorry! Right away, leg-mommy Sir!

Silvia 'the Grey', Phoenix of Strife: Hello, my name is: PYGMALION

Filia Ul Copt: A hot temper, a charmingly naive adherence to the perception of 'good', and a fantastic tail. With a pretty pink bow. She has a beautifully operatic shrieking voice when she's angry.

Jillas: Kinda spoilers. Well, I never said they all had to be female, now did I? Perfect blend of cleverness and madness. Also, the strength of his spirit was sufficient to completely alter the shape of the Gorun Nova in a way that not even Lina Inverse could do, and he did it accidentally just by holding it. Also, Jillas is a fellow Filia fan, so exquisite taste.

Freya Crescent: Very spoilers. Thighs that could crush a dragon, and have very possibly done so on more than one occasion. Freya is a member of an underdog race regarded by many as "vermin." She turns to the lie she keeps telling herself to keep going, then she gets up and goes on. Her home is destroyed and her people are slaughtered. She turns to the lie she keeps telling herself to keep going, then she gets up and goes on. Time after time she loses everything, so she turns to the lie that she keeps telling herself to keep going, then she gets up and goes on. And then the lie catches up and turns out to be a twisted truth not worth going on for. Then... she gets up and goes on. Even hopeless and bereaved and faced with the impossibility of rebuilding a future for the remnants of her people, she goes on. I cannot properly express how beautiful this character is to me. Like, it's one thing to say "I have the hots for this character." It's another thing entirely to say "I would prostrate myself at your feet, my Queen." This is probably not healthy, but ah, what an exquisite madness.

"2. Changes to These Terms of Use

We may revise and update these Terms of Use from time to time in our sole discretion. All changes are effective immediately when we post them, and apply to all access to and use of the Website thereafter.
Your continued use of the Website following the posting of revised Terms of Use means that you accept and agree to all changes. You are expected to check this page each time you access the Website, so you are aware of any changes, as they are binding on you. "

Expected to check this... let's see... 7000+ word megalith of impenetrable legalese, to see whether and how you've peddled our personal data to the tangerine diddler who totally has no interest in using information granted under dubious consent to unperson 'deviants' (read: anyone using the site), and you want us to do it every damned time we visit the site?

You know what? Fuck you. You will be replaced by someone in a nation and by an owner less eager to go down on Daddy Trump's syphilitic little weird mushroom dick.

Mermaids always know who it was that farted.

I would like to create a distinct language and runic script for an ancient race of godlike avians. This is to be a largely tonal language, using sounds that a human cannot easily or accurately replicate; maybe similar to a whistled language, but with overtone. The script must consist of talon strokes and possibly wing buffeting. Because of the physically coarse nature of this medium and in order to differentiate from yet another alphabet-in-costume 'rune' set, this script shall be similar in nature to musical notation, representing a language of chords which produce complex meaning from interwoven melody. This, of course, means that the species is alien in its way of simultaneous multilinear thinking. Relates back to godlike status? Hyperdimensional living quantum computers?

Also, this entire endeavour is in the interest of generating excessive canon for a personal OC that nobody knows or gives a flying fuck about. What am I doing?

I picked up some black currant syrup the other day, thinking it might be useful for wine making. Just one problem: preservatives would do a real number on yeast, and the regulation and enforcement of ingredient listing is kind of a joke. I've previously been nastily chastised by a corporation (Keurig Dr Pepper) for daring to ask whether one of their products (Tahiti Treat) contains an ingredient (citrus fruit) that would make my elderly mother horribly sick, so I wasn't very hopeful when I reached to the importer, S&F Foods, for confirmation about the ingredients listed on their bottle.

A few hours after sending my message I received word that they were requesting the information from the manufacturer, and about 24 hours after initial contact I had confirmation all the way from Slovenia that because of the high sugar content the syrup doesn't need any other preservatives. So that's pretty cool.

I'm aware that I have a serious negativity problem, and just wanted to make a deliberate effort to share something that I'm grateful for. There's still some good in the world.

A seax is a viking weapon that can be used as a tool.
A knifr is a viking tool that can be used as a weapon.
A puukko is (probably) the descendant of the knifr.
A squirrel tail or blacksmith's knife has nothing to do with vikings.
A rail spike knife is an outstanding conversation piece.
A rail spike is not made of magical super-steel.
A kunai is a multi-purpose Japanese trowel.
A bo shuriken is a Japanese throwing spike.
'Ninja tools' were mostly just tools that you could carry without being executed for it.
Naruto is a dumpling.
The food item of the same name is also a dumpling.

This question is proving difficult to frame in a way that search engines can fully understand.

Context: I'm thinking about 10,000 year warnings, and how they need to survive both culturally and physically. Some of the ideas I've heard for material are frankly pretty dopey; bone sometimes lasts tens of thousands of years under the right conditions, so... good candidate, and totally does not carry a weird unintended context. Another bizarre suggestion: laserdiscs—because that technology lasted so long the first time, right?

My thinking is that a meter-long prism of glass with a message cast inside would not only protect that message, but would also carry the context of the (somewhat) advanced society that could create it. Simply engraving the message isn't good enough, as thousands of years of erosion could obliterate it. Therefore: is it reasonably possible to make a precise two or three part glass casting, capable of displaying readable figures under several centimeters of transparent glass?

Anyways, why one meter long? Well, that offers valuable cultural information, and a baseline for safe distance denoted as a binary number. I'm also thinking that (maybe) Carbon-14 could be used in a radioluminescent component to underscore the "we know what we're fucking talking about" message for thousands of years, and if paired with a similar non-reactive component of identical mass it could also serve as a reference point for dating purposes depending on the technological advancement of the discoverers. Further such components of appropriate mass could be used to denote site decay benchmarks. This entire line of thinking, of course, renders my entire question moot, as it would make the 'prism' into more of a jar. Well... there you go, then. Now I just need to know if Carbon-14 is energetic enough to visibly excite phosphor, and search engines are kind of sucking at answering that question as well.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11211731/

The more I learn about this 'mandatory legal tagging', the shittier it gets. Apparently we have a retroactive rule which requires a minimum of three tags per submission, under arbitrary and weird formatting rules, and banning the creative use of the super_useful tagging system that was really only ever much good for blacklisting (in theory), and then only if you can stand the Gen_Z compliant UI it's being used as a carrot to try and bait the rest of us into accepting.

You might think that 'illegal tags' would be words like "bomb," "assassination," "Nazi," or "jaywalking." You would, however, be wrong. You can see what 'illegal tags' you're using by clicking on the 'Stats' tab on your user page. For your convenient future tagging reference, here's a partial list of example tags, legal and illegal, from my own submissions. Forgive the weird formatting, but hyphens are now considered too diabolically anarchic for FA to condone_you'd better use underscores if you don't want to get banned.


Legal tags:
_blaaaaaaaaa
_vinegaroon
_ffs
_doin
_buzzbuzzbuzz
_wwydt
_popular_does_not_mean_good
_antioch
_id
_herkimer
_escutcheon
_beggzorz


Illegal tags:
_an
_is
_we
_or
_anarcho-capitalism
_motion-sickness
_self-hatred
_micro-farming


And here's a fun thought: What reason could FA possibly have for banning hyphens from tags? Or "misleading" or "inaccurate" tags? To me this all smacks of format standardization that one might use to streamline AI training data, and while I don't disagree with AI in principle, the current implementation is a moral cesspit at every level. Best case scenario, FA has enacted a pointless rule which inadvertently makes it easier for bad actor techbros to scrape training data from unwilling and unwitting contributors; worst case, there's nothing inadvertent about it, and there's some kind of shady back_room deal behind this. Jollyjack absolutely called it; this unmitigated horse shit is kind of a big deal. Those snippy little shits nastily calling him out for protesting are basic consumers, willing to sacrifice artists' freedom of expression under weak_ass pretenses in order to preserve their preferred stream of wank fodder. If FA's enforcers come after my 'illegal' tags, I'll just delete the 'offending' submissions. Or maybe I won't. I predict that either whoever is responsible for this mess is going to be fired within the week, or this is the event horizon of FA's enshittification death spiral.

*Plays Freya Crescent on Akinator*

(Seven totally innocuous, unloaded questions, identifying a female from the Final Fantasy series...)

"Is your character a beautiful woman?"

"Oh, you son of a bitch..."

And yes, OFC he got it.

I believe that the Philogelos (supposed world's oldest joke book) is a mostly—if not completely—fake translation. Too many of the jokes fundamentally rely on modern English words and phrases to work. Also, there are multiple references to things that did not exist on that continent at that time. So...

Sometimes I sort of start caring about an artist, and then sometimes they... disappear. Is koh okay? I have enough sleuthing skills to know that he's probably alive, but but after he shut down his account, it just sort of left me haunted. I know he was in pain, and I can kind of relate. I don't understand why he put so effort much into... deleting his existence in the context of this fandom. I just hope he's okay, you know? I wish he knew that some people remember and care. I miss your legend, man.

Okay. So, let me tell you about my family curse.

Mostly... it boils down to clairvoyance regarding presents. We don't speak to one another about presents, because the moment we gain awareness that a gift has been purchased, we instantly know what it is. It doesn't matter how outlandish the truth may be; we know. Well, we also often know who's calling on the phone, or other mundane things like that. For me, it's a bit more broad than that. For example, in a raffle, I know when my name has just been pulled out of a hat seconds before it's been read. Amazing, yeah? There's just one Cassandra-level stipulation: I can only predict what elimination of chaos has already rendered certain. I know whether Schrodinger's cat is alive or dead, but I can't do anything about it. I can see... the present. Sometimes.

Tell me about your pain, and I will know that you are going to die, but I won't tell you. You don't deserve to know what's coming. It's like that. Sometimes I wonder what it is that I'm fighting for in this context, when I see all the pain and horror and wrongness in the world, and know that it's already... there. Is it denial, distrust, or some recursive loop where I feel the necessity of my words? Or am I crazy? Well, shit, I don't know. But listen. Fight. Okay?

Found another reason to be mad at the previous occupant. Stepped out onto the joist of a deck I'm demolishing to get some measurements, and suddenly there was no joist. Apparently Captain Cerebrum 'fastened' the structural member by toenailing it in with a single fastener. I managed to avoid any breaks, impalement, or serious lacerations or abrasions, but I am reminded that I must never underestimate the inspiring stupidity of the confidently wrong.

Prepared a speech for the variance hearing tomorrow which will determine whether we're pressured to sell by a developer, or forced to deal with their shitty project:

My name is (Lord Mungepants), and I am co-owner of the property at 23 Nonesuch Avenue. I am here to contest the proposed minor variance to the property of 21 Nonesuch Avenue. I will begin by demonstrating that the proposal is excessive and insupportable.

1. Is the variance minor?

"A minor variance typically allows for adjustments of up to 20% from the numerical development or design standards set by zoning laws. This variance is intended to provide relief when strict adherence to the standards would cause undue hardship."

On the sides, the requested deviation of 1.62 meters from the mandated 7.62 meter setback is a difference 21.26%, exceeding the maximum by 1.26%—on each side. The request seeks to alter the setback from the front of the property from 7.62 meters to 3 meters; a difference of 60.63%, or over three times the upper limit of a minor variance. In full, this proposed variance seeks to expand the legal building area by a total of 303.6 square meters; 97% of the proposed building's 313 square meter footprint, or approzimately 20% of the entire property.

Does the developer face undue hardship? Given that the property was purchased with the intention of constructing rental units in the full knowledge that the property was not legally of an appropriate size for this purpose, the criteria of "undue hardship" is highly questionable; "bad faith" would be a more apt summary.

On a personal note, I feel disrespected. An anonymous business simply sprung this unwelcome development on the neighbouring property owners without discussion or notice until directly prompted to do so by the city. Interest in maintaining neighbours' privacy in light of an effectively ninefold increase in population appears essentially nonexistent, with no provision for fencing, noise management, or visual barriers. We have no way of knowing the target market, but a massively increased opportunity for problemactic neighbours. This developer behaves callously, then demands special privileges to further impinge upon us? Ridiculous.