I've been over at  flyfeline for several months now

I'm now at  flyfeline! Don't forget to go watch me there!

So, decided to finally get around to doing this so as to ditch the "pone" half of my username. Better optics and all.

I'm now over at  FlyFeline so hop on over and give me a watch if you wanna keep up with me!

Okay so tbh I don't really used my twitter for kink stuff much cuz I do use it mostly for non-kink stuff and didn't want to freak out my normal followers

Soooo I just made a secondary one for them haha
https://twitter.com/FlyFeline

Hey everyone! Just wanted to wish you all a good day! I hope your holidays are fun and full of cheer!

Wanted to push that other journal out of the way, and what better way to do so than talking about something good?

My boyfriend  otenkiya is coming to live with me next month! He'll be getting here on January 10. I'm so happy and excited to hold him in my arms.

We had to put my cat down yesterday. A couple months ago we found out she had a cancerous tumor in her gum that was making it painful for her to eat. The vet gave us some medicine that would help with the pain for a while, telling us that she had a few months.

It finally got to the point where the medicine wasn't helping anymore. She wasn't eating much anymore and was pretty much starving to death, so...

Now she's gone. I had since elementary school and now she's just gone. I keep having these little moments like wanting to reach around to the back of my chair to pet her, then in the next moment I remember she's not there.

It hurts so much.

Hey it's the birthday of my friends  czyke and  slysterk

Go wish them both a happy birthday!!

If you have a problem with people condemning Nazis and other bigots, maybe you should think about why that is.

Just a thought.

Nazis and other bigots are worthless scum.

That is all.

I know I'm late for the boat but I finally decided to make a twitter

https://twitter.com/shorhar

Here you go. Follow if you want

i am super fucking gay for  otenkiya and love him lots

It's my birthday, but it's not exactly a happy one. Some shit happened, and I just feel like crap.

Happy 20 years.

July 16. This Sunday.

Make of that what you will.

Got my birthday this upcoming month, y'all. July 16.

If anyone wants to do something while the sale is going on, here's a Steam wishlist >.>

http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/.....0090/wishlist/

Figured I should say this again now that it's not the middle of the night, heh...

My boyfriend is doing a cute little macro/micro YCH here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23464604/

You should check it out! He does really nice work ^w^

Hey guys, my boyfriend is doing a cute little macro/micro YCH here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23464604/

You should check it out! He does really nice work ^w^

So... fucking crazy thing happened yesterday. I don't even know how the hell it happened.

Was talking with a few people on the server of one of my Tumblr friends. One of them randomly decides to draw Menzie for fun. Then... another person drew him... and another... and soon people from outside the server started joining in. And by the end of the day, there's a bunch of art of Menzie.

Like, I'm still now sure what the fuck happened or why. Everyone is just way, way too sweet I guess ;w;

Anyways, I wanted to show everyone's art, so Imma drop off links below. If you've got Tumblr, i definitely recommend following these people. Even aside from art, they're all just a bunch of fun group of people. I'm glad to know them <3. And watch the two FA users, too! They're both super cool guys.


This guy has both a Tumblr and FA, so I'll add both links.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23151384/
https://justcutiepieart.tumblr.com/.....zie-hes-almost
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23154472/
https://justcutiepieart.tumblr.com/.....this-time-in-a

And then this guy's FA is:  glide
https://horhardaho.tumblr.com/post/.....rew-menzie-too

And now for everyone else
http://ngeohp.tumblr.com/post/15936.....e-3-horhardaho
http://jesuslust.tumblr.com/post/15.....y-are-bored-of
http://littledipperpines.tumblr.com.....iacal-cackling
http://pan-fox-guy.tumblr.com/post/.....d-his-other-oc
http://andiethevoid.tumblr.com/post...../horhardaho-3c
https://thedoogliestartblog.tumblr......boy-horhardaho
https://surreyjack3000.tumblr.com/p.....s-paint-he-nya
http://socksus-elves.tumblr.com/pos.....-u-dont-follow
https://horhardaho.tumblr.com/post/.....opthelop-i-got

And that's everyone! I really can't thank them all enough. They're all incredibly sweet. <3 <3 <3

...for my friend has stopped running today.


So, not only did Carrie Fisher, the actress who played Princess Leia and one of my childhood icons, pass away today. Richard Adams, author of Watership Down and one of my favorite writers, also passed away today.

It is not a good day.

Hope y'all are having a good one.

So, um. The last few days have been incredibly stressful for me and my family. I'm sorry to the people who I haven't been able to answer on Skype and the like. Been really busy.

On Saturday, my father went to the hospital. He had a pain in his side and called his doctor, who recommended he go. They did some testing and it turns out that he had had a mild heart attack(How the fuck none of us, not even him, knew is beyond me), and if something wasn't done soon, he'd have a massive heart attack. He just had a triple bypass surgery today. He's fine, thank god. It'll be a long road to recovery, but he's alive, and the doctors say he'll be fine.

I had already wanted to make a journal like this today, because this day, December 7, already held some heavy connotations for me.

A year ago, on December 1, I went into in-patient care at a psychiatric hospital. To put it simply, I was on Suicide Watch. That was one of the most hellish weeks of my life, though I am thankful that they got me set up on my medicine, and some therapy. December 7 is the day I got out.

I've been dealing with the exact thoughts that put me there in the first place on and off throughout this year(Being abandoned by people I trusted only two weeks after I got out didn't exactly help, nor the fact that several "friends" just didn't give a shit). There's been multiple times where I was on the verge of doing something I'd never be able to take back. This general year has been pretty terrible overall. I broke up with my boyfriend, ended up having to quit my job because of bad management, and have just lost all direction in my life. And now, of course, I nearly lost my dad. I'm honestly surprised that I'm still here.

And yet, here I am, still. An exacy year later and I'm still alive. I still have my dad, too, and I'm glad. I think I actually feel happy to be alive for the first time in a long while. I'm glad that I still have my dad. I'm glad that I lived to see my birthday. I'm glad that I actually managed to make a few friends that I can actually trust.

I don't think I want to die anymore. I don't want to miss everything and hurt everyone I care about. I don't want them to go through what I have this past week.

My depression is far from cured, but for first time this year, I think I can definitively say that I've made some progress. I'm okay, and even happy, with being alive right now, and I don't ever want to lose that.

Not really sure how to end this, but I just wanted to say thank you all for sticking with me and still watching even though I barely ever do anything on here. I know I make this vow every year, but I promise to actually write stuff properly next year. Maybe not a lot, but at least something. Enough for me to be satisfied with.

And that's all I can really think of to say.

Wanted to push the other journal out of the way.

*Shrug*

Stuff!

I didn't think that "Stay strong and stay safe" would be a controversial statement. I guess I was wrong.

Fuck me for worrying about the people I care about, am I right?

Trump is our president with a Republican controlled house. So... be ready for whatever comes, if you're LGBT+.

We need to stay together, and stay strong.

Btw, I'm not exactly in any mood for someone to suddenly start order me about what I can and can't post on my own goddamn profile.