In a couple of days I'll be going on my yearly trip to the seaside. I have not been active here lately: Chances are I'm not going to from here on. I'm still around daily to view and favorite posts, maybe comment on submissions I really like. When that too stops it will mean one of two things; Either the internet has gone away for good or my body has... it's a tight race which happens first but shouldn't be hard to distinguish. Until that time comes, I wanted to write what may be the last journal I post, to say the last things I felt are worth saying at this time. Yeah, it will be long as usual... there's no need to read it, just do if you feel like it.

Things are not good in this world right now, and each day they spiral into something somehow worse. Much of my life was spent on what I perceived to be a noble goal: Trying to warn others of what was coming and prevent this world from becoming a complete nightmare... not just for myself but anyone like me that may be born here, who I didn't want to face what I had to. Whether I did so the right way is another question... can only say I did what I felt was right at the time: I tried to desensitize people so they'd finally question control based on fear, cold as I may have gone about it at times. For that I faced every negative outcome possible, from lynch mobs to getting banned on services I was involved with almost daily... maybe I deserved it maybe not, hard to make up my mind on a few cases.

After many years the time has come, when what was once my crazy ramblings is now reality: People are officially being asked to issue photos of their face to use some Discord servers while Reddit is asking users to provide their passport to access internet forums, currently this is in Britain but I think we all know it's preparation for a worldwide rollout... at the same time Steam just announced enforcing the morality police of its payment processors who now dictate what developers may code in their games, just as every big platform has done with other content before them. Those are but a few very recent examples I was personally involved in, the list is long and extents to many many things. This world has become a Robocop movie script once imagined only in dystopian science fiction, the systems for brutal control of people's very thoughts are in place along with the surveillance to accompany the censorship. Guess I was right all along all those years... and believe me there's no satisfaction in saying it, I haven't won anything but rather lost any chance at being able to tolerate this world for at least a few years longer.

I know what's in store from here on out too, and once more I would be shunned for sharing it. That someday, even if this will be more than 10 years from now, CCTV cameras connected to law enforcement will be mandated in every household under the guise of ending all remaining crime... that people will be pressured to have devices in / on their bodies that report questionable thoughts or dangerous feelings, especially children under the guise that kids do dangerous things during puberty... all civilian cars mandated to have a killswitch and remote driving so police can stop them and make pursuits a thing of the past. I know you won't believe me... which I don't mind for my sake, just because no one will be prepared to stop it. By current trends this and more will happen in several years: It seems absurd now, but when the time for those ideas arrives they will seem obvious to future you, it will have happened so gradually and been presented so nicely you won't have even noticed. The only thing that can stop it is a collapse of industrial civilization which would render it technologically unfeasible, which is likely for a multitude of reasons... this one is easy to research, spend a few days on places like r/collapse look at official charts from resource depletion to environmental boundaries and you can tell what's baked in; Rather tragic to realize that collapse of modern life involving destruction of the planet is the more optimistic scenario, but hey that's the branching path humanity picked and I'm no longer judging. Of course it is in my nature to reject that kind of shit, the principles and behaviors I know are wrong... that I'm so glad for and would do all over again.

Back to the present, recent events are mostly why I stopped making art: I do not create with a Taliban style morality police holding a gun to my head, telling me what thoughts are permitted and who's allowed to see what in the name of "protecting" children from heresy or God even knows any more... it's not how I work, nor how I will exist. Before 10 years ago I hoped America would avoid China's cultural revolution (and model of running the internet) or at least the world at large wouldn't return to an 1800's Victorian era... then I knew better. Not sure if I mentioned this, but I once had plans to create entire movies in Blender, even AAA quality games... looking back I likely wouldn't have been able to without a large team, but if human civilization hadn't collapsed there was at least the chance. I know now none of that will happen: Don't care in a world without even autonomy of thought where governments attribute thoughts to individuals like robots... where you show ID to read a blog because a bunch of hippies are still afraid of porn swear words and ancient political symbols, as if they're scared of anything that may cause them to face their existence or shatter their illusion of a world that got it right. So much was ruined, not just for me but for countless others... often over nothing but delusions and doctrines, not even wars fought over resources or other physical limitations that couldn't have been avoided.

One of my dreams was to show to the world what really happened with me, and with the few like me that must have existed on this world. There are things I both wanted and didn't want the wold to know, alas it would be as pointless now as it was more than 20 years ago. Most wouldn't understand, a few would but they couldn't change anything and I'm not looking for a pat on the back. Frankly I'd rather humanity doesn't know, to me it doesn't deserve to know. Especially when it corrupts anything it gets their hands on, whether it's a tool or information: I can't imagine how some things would be (mis)used if they ever became popular knowledge, the way they distorted God and Jesus to keep people fearing both life and death would be a walk in the park compared to the manipulation that goes on today.

Those who could see beyond the facade know a few of the things I don't make public. I don't have words like "otherkin" or "starseed" in my profile for no reason. I stopped there since even if I wanted to say more, words are too limited for the task, they couldn't cover even a glimpse for those who didn't experience such a life on their own: A good Disney film may get the point across in an accurate portrayal, but this sort of thing isn't part of pop culture and I pray it stays that way. Yet part of me still wanted others to know; To glimpse what it's like to be born in the body of a completely alien species, to live a whole lifetime among unrecognizable beings who's culture and thinking you can't even understand... to indirectly remember entire worlds and know how you're supposed to look, hoping whoever designed this construct put a failsafe in place and eventually they'd open some portal or arrive on spacecraft to make contact with Earth and find me. Took long enough to realize that won't be happening... not because they can't, but because it would be harmful both to them and this deluded world that lives in forgetting itself, most would see it as an invasion and the government is gladly waiting to blow a few things up say the ET's did it and "unite the world against a common enemy". Crazy... I even feel my affinity for working on and flying space ships as if I did it during this life, wonder if next time I'll remember the feeling of being a developer on old binary computers and compiling code in consoles to fix bugs. Yeah, I know: Few, very few in fact, will actually feel and understand what I just said... most will shrug, and that's okay; I only said this much to know it's recorded somewhere, so a few see that some of us remember whether others like it or not, maybe that does something someday.

For a variety of inevitable reasons that are approaching, I feel my time here is drawing to an end. I don't want anyone to worry for me: Whatever may or may not happen in the future, I know now that I'll be okay. I know I won't get to complete many things I may have been born here for, though in my 36 years here I'd say I've done more than enough to be satisfied. I've experienced everything I was going to... the past years have only been a repeat of the exact same routines, except each year is more absurd than the last. While my upsettance with this life left wounds that will persist long after it, I ultimately forgive this world and those I encountered on it; For the longest time I wanted to see this world destroyed, dreamed of nuclear war or natural disasters finally putting an end to life here... not out of malice in the way you imagine, just wanted no other soul to have to deal with this: I no longer wish it... to be frank I no longer wish anything for this place, it doesn't deserve the attachment of any grudge or expectation on my behalf, as far as I'm concerned this weird dream has already ended. I know it was my decision to come here, that for some reason I chose to experienced this... just hope I didn't do anything evil in the actual real world and this isn't some rehabilitation simulation, probably not and I think I'm fine :)

Since people are still asking for them, I'll provide a link to my old animations which are still available on my Mega drive. Consider them royalty free: Share wherever you want, credit me if you feel like it... one of the dumb concepts I never believed in was copyright. I suggest backing them up and mirroring them soon since there's no guarantee as to how long even that service will last! As far as software goes, most of everything I've worked on can be found on my Github account... this includes various things from HTML projects to Minetest mods, I even wrote a whole voxel raytracing engine in Python to feel alive.

https://mega.nz/folder/Il1iVaqI#IbN.....XCSe3TLiJHcoqA
https://github.com/MirceaKitsune

I end by saying this: Follow only what you truly feel at your core, no matter what you've been taught and how unquestionable it may seem, even basic things your mind was trained to presume as a toddler, This doesn't mean not listening to others nor deceiving yourself: It means that if something feels right or wrong, don't ignore it because you're told it can't be questioned. Don't look in your mind if you're unsure, rather in your resonance... it's subtler and doesn't use words to tell you, you know it when you know things without knowing. As Skeletor would say, until we meet again!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=NxFE5YOErcg

While I plan on sticking to my rule of not discussing politics and sensitive subjects periodically, some things demand to be brought to attention. Today's facepalm worthy bullshit is definitely one such thing.

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/05.....-all-a-federal
https://www.lee.senate.gov/2025/2/s.....ography-online
https://www.techdirt.com/2024/09/16.....-if-trump-wins

TLDR: Republicans are now dreaming of a total ban on porn across America and the internet, introducing prohibition era bills surpassing the 1920's. Either they want everyone to show ID to use half the internet, or to completely outlaw anything the morality police disproves of; Nudes, art, everything... anyone who posts something even remotely sexual online would be arrested. The culprit as usual is paranoia about children, desperate attempts to control the minds of people under the highly specific age of 18, distorted religious superstitions about imaginary threats to kids. One of those bills is even called something like "protecting the retinas of children from egregious content", almost as if they wanted to emphasize the childish level of stupidity behind it... which works as there are plenty at the same level of intelligence capable of taking such a thing seriously, as that's who people have put even in positions in power. Needless to say this would cause art platforms like Furaffinity to shut down or most content on them to be deleted, being a furry artist would pretty much be illegal unless any depiction is halal with Western Sharia law.

I'm not going to make a case about this but will remind: For over a decade I tried raising the alarm about modern civilization being under attack and humanity tending back to the dark ages. Indeed I went a bit far in the other extreme at times, albeit because I saw what was coming. I was ridiculed, called crazy, not to mention a conspiracy theorist... in some places I was banned temporarily or permanently, all for displaying my aversion to authority over this stuff. At least now everyone can see exactly what I was trying to stop and that it's definitely real.

My message in particular is to those I once sided with, before realizing we never truly had the same views or hopes for the future. Those who aren't far-right: Quite the contrary they present themselves as hardcore liberals, will freak out at anything about Donald Trump and call others Nazis over the slightest suspicion of having a different opinion. Yet somehow they ended up supporting or enabling many of the same things, whether that was their intent or whether they were even aware of it.

Liberals and even members of the LGBTQ+ community gladly promoted conservative beliefs for years, such as porn being harmful to children... ideas anyone in my generation who grew up watching that stuff should know are ridiculous and based on outdated beliefs. Every corner of the the internet that hosts sexual content also contains a fuss about people under the age of 18, you literally can't access anything without the site interrogating you on your age as if it's some kind of ritual; Instead of even those practices being scrubbed, some want everyone to use digital ID just to access a forum or read a blog. I won't even get into how those people ruined my life as a teen with those primitive beliefs... I thought what happened to me in 2005 with Second Life and other platforms was bad, it pales in comparison to the terror and repression teens today must face from those claiming to "protect" them. A special shout out is in order for the following groups, who promoted the hateful prudish and transphobic behaviors that spiraled into what we see today:

- Art sites including the furry community such as Furaffinity, who were first to introduce a ban on fiction on the grounds of morality, in the form of demonizing NSFW cub content for almost two decades. They were first to normalize the idea that artwork can be treated like a crime, that fiction equals reality if it offends someone too much, that colored shapes can magically have spooky effects in real life. You've not only betrayed the creators who trusted you to give them a space where they could all freely express themselves, but normalized horrible ideas that contribute to what's happening.

- Once more those same sites and countless other platforms, who interrogate people for their age to let them view content. Even today most art galleries demand you register to view submissions labeled NSFW, all because platforms think they must decide who is supposed to look at what in the privacy of their own home in the name of safety and family values. Instead of standing up and saying "you can't get brain damage from looking at a drawing", they gladly promoted the idea that we need to be mind-controlled because your age makes it dangerous to merely look at something on a computer screen. Now say hello to those who took the concept to a new extreme, and in addition want you to log into websites with a passport from the government!

- The modern day superstition that social media is addictive to children, such as algorithms or "infinite scrolling" damaging kids by recommending images or pieces of text with spooky brain effects. Reminder: The term "addiction" is often used by ultra-conservatives to demonize something they don't like, along with other misused terms such as "mental health crisis"... once more this hasn't stopped many on the left from copying and parroting the exact same narratives then wondering what they did wrong to encourage this.

- Transgender people who call other trans individuals "groomers" because they support defending teens from the prudish transphobic oppression of society and / or their parents. The same repression they themselves grew up with and suffered from! Yet if anyone tries to give teenagers the freedom to think for themselves and have access to the resources they didn't, you hear "yikes, Nazi groomer" as the cancel culture ensues. To them I say: If you were born as a trans child again, may God have mercy on you growing up with those extremists as your parents, and if you survive it do tell us how well they "protected" you for your own thoughts and identity for 18 years.

- Gamers who plaster even their gaming streams with "+18 ONLY!!!" labels, some as hysterically as what you see on artists profiles; Go to Twitch and you'll find gamers making a fuss about people having to be over 18 just to watch them play a frigging video game. The idea that people under a certain age need to be mind-controlled has gone so far, it's not even just about looking at porn any more: A child is considered endangered if they simply watch someone play Fortnite or an RPG or whatever, because someone may say a swear word and by the gods that's so uncouth and immoral!

There's plenty more but I'll stop here. Hopefully this gives the few people who will even read this some perspective: Think before you act, think twice about what you're actually supporting and encouraging! Imitating and ultimately embracing your sworn enemies only has the obvious outcome of helping them take over and come after you, by the time you realize this it may already be too late.

Considering this is such an important event and ties to personal things, I wanted to share my thoughts on the election like many others have. This isn't going to be some angry rant like in the past, I'm long over making those, just an analysis and my perspective: I'm hoping people understand this, especially on Furaffinity where anything that touches a worldly subject is a risk for me to post even in good faith, I was nervous about writing this but am partly doing it to give a chance to the idea that there's still some ability to communicate and say what's on our minds. I'm not enjoying the pain many around me are going through, some are people I care for who are in a lot of fear and there's not much I can do. I also need to make it clear that no, I don't like nor support Trump, even if I no longer share the horror everyone else has over him: I'm not even from the US, if I was I'd have never voted for either of those two parties and any candidates they produce, if I did vote I'd be voting libertarian every time even if they're perpetually third place. From the start I decided I wouldn't care about the outcome of this election. Since Trump's win was announced last night, I've been watching almost everyone I know fall in a deep depression... something I did too when he first won in 2016, long before a lot of things changed for me.

What I don't understand is how today in 2024 so much hope was put into this one election, a hope people still had. How many thought that if the right person wins, there was still a positive direction for this world to take. That a fight for all that is good was lost just now because this one man won, a fight that still existed and could be won if only this one dude hadn't made it in office. Many don't seem to realize humanity at its core is broken by design and beyond repair right now; Trump, Kamala... I fail to see how these silly figures make any difference when everyone hates everyone else anyway, any ability to communicate and get along has long vanished, and we can all see the system was doomed to fail very soon and very abruptly. If anything it may affect the speed at which it's all happening ever so slightly.

Let me to ask you something: Is Trump the reason why this year I was left without my only income and job I could have, because I refused to DOX myself to Patreon and have my art associated with my name / photo / address / family by complete strangers? Is Trump the reason why I don't feel like creating art any more because I can't safely post what I enjoy doing on this internet even for free? Is Trump the reason why I'm constantly nervous I may be banned from services I still rely on and at least able to watch what others create, over something I don't imagine would offend and may have even said a decade ago and long forgotten? Is Trump the reason why the Xonotic team with whom I spent 15 years working turned on me out of nowhere while we were in the middle of working on code? Is Trump the reason why an artist I follow had to flee France after being arrested for making drawings deemed immoral by the state? Is Trump the reason why if anyone who isn't a commercial animation studio posts an animation containing anthro or dragon characters in some art styles on Youtube, the video is instantly restricted or deleted with their entire channel? Is Trump the reason why I walk on eggshells around the few people I still interact with, because if I say one thing the wrong way I'll be perceived as some maniac and they turn on me next? Is Trump responsible for the world doing its best to ruin my life or the little I ever had of one?

All those things and more happened even without him. Off the top of my head I can't even think of a conservative or Trump supporter that caused me this grief over the years, though I'm sure many would gladly join in given the chance. It was at the hands of those with whom I once thought I had a common goal, who stabbed me (and themselves) in the back just when I believed that maybe I could have a place in this world to some degree and give humanity a chance, who use words like tolerance and acceptance and inclusion almost religiously yet their polar opposites are all I ever got from them. Why then should I worry about Trump and am expected to see him as the root of all evil?! Sure, I don't expect the situation to improve with him of all people, I don't expect anything to improve again with anyone... but it's beyond me how this made anything worse than it would be regardless.

Like I said I'm not happy with what's happening and won't feed off of anyone's suffering, but I definitely feel I'm right to say one thing: The desperation everyone feels over Trump winning is a thing many caused to others whether they realize it or not. They're experiencing what it's like to have the majority of those around you and a world you believed in slap you in the face, tell you that what you need and feel doesn't matter to them, that you need to suck it up and deal with it because others have "real issues" unlike you, that you come second place to what they decided is important. This lesson is one I do think the world at large needed to face. Which isn't to say it will learn from it, oh I strongly doubt that... but many are at least seeing what it's like to be on the receiving end, and it's definitely not pretty.

A good person I've known since many years is in need of help, as in life threatening stuff. I'll just link to their journal and GoFundMe if anyone thinks they can do anything. Thank you.

https://furaffinity.net/journal/10970217
https://gofund.me/e0c64550

Like everyone else this morning, I was surprised to wake up to the news of Dragoneer passing away. RIP: Hope he is well where he is now. Others shared their thoughts and it's been months since I've been active at all, so I figured I'd throw in my two cents as well.

From the few interactions we had over the years, Dragoneer always seemed like a nice person to me. I vaguely remember he personally helped me the first time I ran into issues with FA more than 15 years ago, his posts and takes always seemed fair and balanced. I never blamed him personally for the state FA has been in over the past years, my sentiment was always that he was pressured by an increasingly fanatical society into letting the site fall to where it has. I am a bit upset that he couldn't try harder but don't hold it against him per say.

I won't lie and claim I share that sympathy toward Furaffinity itself: This platform hurt me too much to be able to care for its fate. Whether intentionally or not, FA became one of the strictest places in the fandom and harms in my life under his leadership: I still wake up not knowing if I may find myself randomly suspended, abused over something so silly my mind couldn't imagine any sane platform taking issue with it. I won't wish it harm but don't care what happens to it either: Whether it officially shuts down or not, it's been dead to me the moment any semblance of free speech and artistic freedom died years ago. I still use it as many artists and acquaintances insist of sticking to FA instead of moving to Inkbunny so I can't follow them anywhere else.

Obviously I suspect FA will find ways to stay up and carry on as usual. I don't see anything changing though I could be wrong, especially not for the better: We'll likely see more artists we love getting banned, wondering if we'll be kicked off the service next for an offensive letter or pixel we posted 100 years ago. I could push myself to be naive and imagine something improving under new leadership, but my rational mind would remind me someone even more strict will likely take over and impose yet crazier rules used to abuse creators even harder, so I'll avoid it as to not trigger the cliche "you just had to say it can't get any worse" moment. Just hope I can stick around till I finally join the side of the multiverse Dragoneer is now on.

But I'll always remember the old FA of the mid 2000's as well: That used to be a great place during some of the nicest years in my life, one of the first sites I discovered together with the fandom itself. I at least thank Dragoneer for those few good years he gave us, I know that Furaffinity is just a distant memory but it will also live on in my thoughts.

I tried to shut down my Patreon page today and was attacked with vile trickery in a desperate attempt to lock me up into staying on the platform: At first I was successful and managed to unpublish it. Then I made the mistake of looking around to see what changed instead of leaving immediately: I was presented with a button which wrongfully suggested I could see how my creator page would look like if I was to ever reopen it or anyone else were to access it. I clicked on it out of curiosity, thinking I'd see a preview or some menu of options I might have used later, not knowing that without any confirmation this would register a request to relaunch my page. There was no button to cancel out of it once the trap was activated, I had to click publish to reopen my page. Now the bastards froze my request (that I didn't even want to make) and are telling me I must wait for a manual review by the Patreon staff before my page will go online again (which I did not want). I'm not able to cancel the request for reopening my page either, they literally want to open my page back up by force to keep me on the platform, same people who simultaneously want me removed from it! Patreon has gone completely insane 😂

If Patreon doesn't immediately reopen my page so I can shut it down again (and this never touch anything) I'll send them a rage email that will make their putrid skins crawl, you don't know what I can write when it's a service I no longer care about being banned on. I suspect they're going to say something about my old page goes against their guidelines but not fully unpublish it back either, just to leave it in limbo and give me the impression I need to fix something so I can be tricked into going back to them: I know how they all want to fuck with meeeeeeee 😃 Will see how they'll try to spin this... for now they're pretending they don't have enough staff to attend to their ridiculous approval process in a couple of hours, which I don't understand why they even need for every creator but I'm well past questioning that much. They're probably busy brainstorming their next move while trying to fructify the harm they think they did as much as possible.

This is EXACTLY what humanity has done to me my whole life: Use cheap tricks and misdirection to get me involved in something, then blame me for doing the wrong thing and accuse me of mistakes I didn't make! It's at the point where this shit is even manifesting physically, I feel I can't safely touch some objects as I expect they'll break and I'll be dragged into fixing something I didn't even do! Humanity has turned the fucking universe on me, it's like even objects are scripted to jump at me now... I actually have to check everything I write a dozen times because I find completely different words from what I know I typed and no I don't have auto-correct in a web browser. All this because I exist and am not one of them and whichever of their gods own this world and loathe my existence: They'll use anything they can to do as much harm to me as possible and seek revenge on me for existing... which ironically they're too cowardly to fix, they want me alive as the fools still dream of converting me.

When you're done desperately trying to fuck with me, remember world: All of this was futile, because I am still me... and even if you crucify me like you did Jesus Christ, I'm still not becoming one of yours or accept your bizarre ways of life or interact with the local "sapient" wildlife! I only do basics like saying "hi" when I see neighbors and such, so you can't tell and will think I'm normal like you at a first glance. You can't catch me... even if you did you'll never know the truth about me, you always seem think some stupid creepy thing that's total bullshit, which I now prefer as I can use that as misdirection to keep you from finding out the real truth. Who's the real one getting fucked with now? Knowing this must feel so bad for their people, which in consequence is of great pleasure to me 😆

The time has come for my predicted announcement: I will be shutting down my Patreon creator page sometime in the next hours. Existing members should be automatically unsubscribed when I unpublish the page so there's no need to do anything. I'll likely continue creating content for free in some form, granted I can still find it in me to want to work on anything and a safe place to post it.

The main culprit wasn't even Patreon but its banking service Payoneer: They refused to renew my card without making ridiculous and creepy demands that endanger me. Namely asking that I take photos of myself holding sheets of paper where I draw dates or something; That's the sort of request you expect from a pimp trying to snatch a victim on the internet and troll them too... of course corporations and banking services are on par with petty criminals these days so no surprise, they're just open about it at this point. Since I can't use PayPal offline and trust them even less with how they randomly ban creators, my Patreon was effectively rendered useless by this blockage. Patreon itself has been demanding my photo for almost an year, in its case to target creators for age discrimination in their war against people under 18, I was still able to use it but no idea how long that would have lasted either. Patreon heavily polices what you're allowed to make anyway, even elsewhere on the internet since artists mentioned being banned by Patreon for art they posted on other platforms. All things considered, it wasn't worth pursuing them further and trying to use the platform at all cost: If anything I'm glad to no longer be supporting their broken service, it was a fun 9 years while that was possible but the road has come to an end.

To be clear: I will NOT share a photo of myself at the request of any online platform, nor a banking service linked to my art! Not in a world where artists can be persecuted and physically assaulted for their art, while governments can arrest creators with things like "drawings are child abuse" or whatever else the precedent now expands to. If they want to do anything to me, they need to at least make the minimal effort of looking me up on Facebook or something, in that case it's at least an indirect link I have no control over... I'm not handing them my photo on a silver platter and inviting them to target me for violating whatever doctrine the cult of America is now under. Handing them my ID with my address on it was the furthest I was willing to go just for a bank: No one attacked my house in all those years thank goodness, but my full photo would be too much today and could put me at risk of being attacked in the street by vigilantes involved with US / EU authorities. If at least I knew I'd be killed then hell I'd welcome it, but I don't want to find myself in a knife / gun attack or my home broken into or something happening to my mother over their hatred of me. I know this may sound far fetched, but I've seen those people in action on Twitter / Furaffinity and other places they've made into their nests... they're completely delusional and fanatical and have governments in their pocket passing those thought crime laws for them, it's unclear what lengths they can go to especially if officials from banks or tech companies were involved. All in all I can't be part of this system at this point, I literally can't work in and be involved with this world any longer.

What happens next: I'm increasingly withdrawing to myself and a small group of good beings I know well, the only logical option is to isolate myself from the outside world at this point. I still plan to make and share content, whatever I want to create without these monsters controlling me. Due to the moral infestation on most online platforms, I plan to focus on sites that have zero restrictions on art and who can access it, my works are and will remain freely licensed for this reason. I'm looking primarily for decentralized systems, so far a Mastodon for art is yet to emerge and a Pixelfed server with sane rules is yet to be found; At worst I could store my stuff directly on IPFS, I don't have a dedicated server machine so I'll have to see if seeding them from my computer while it's powered on is good enough, it would then be possible to access it at certain hours while I'm online. Announcements for things like software projects should still be posted via journals, as is some art that doesn't go against the morality rules of each respective platform. As for income I have some money left to live off since selling my late grandmother's house, plus a few kind beings and my biological father helping me with occasional donations... when that's over so long and nice meeting you all, for now I'll still be on this planet for a while.

Wanted to post about this earlier but frankly I didn't have the energy or will to bother. This is an important announcement so if you're a Patreon supporter please read the first half.

Since the beginning of the year, Patreon has been harassing NSFW creators with a new policy requiring them to hand over sensitive documents to the platform. They've been doing this to target creators for age discrimination... sorry, I meant to say age verification. Hiding behind the excuse that Mastercard is making them do it, those who went through the process describe being asked to install a special app on their phone and film themselves holding sensitive identity documents in front of their webcam... yes, literally like ISIS hostages when they're filmed by their captors and the video sent to authorities for ransom. Needless to say no common sense observations, like the fact I've been on this internet for nearly 20 years and would have had to register on many websites when I was some -3 years old, are enough to make it clear I'm well in my 30's for those so desperate to kiss my ass about my personal and private life and identity. How does a child open their own bank account anyway... like you just walk into a bank and say "my name is Nina, I'm 10 years old, and mommy sent me to open an account and get my own credit card" in the minds of those people?

It goes without saying that I will not be subjecting myself to such abuse. Both due to the ridiculous and disgusting motive behind it, as well as it being blatant identity theft that should be illegal in any normal country. At the moment my Patreon is still functional and there are no restrictions only periodic popups, however they threatened that our ability to pay out may eventually be suspended. As such my Patreon is now on borrowed time: I'm using those potential last months to get as much as possible out of it before it all goes down. Unless some miracle happens and they get their heads screwed on straight, my plan is to shut down my page the second they introduce limitations that makes it unusable. For this reason I'd like all supporters to be on standby as I don't want you losing your money: I'll immediately make a new announcement the moment these bastards place restrictions so you know to pull out! If given the option I'll remove every supporter myself or revert to a non-creator page which should do the trick.

I've thought about requesting they revert my page back to SFW creator but don't think I'll go that route: First of all I'd need to find and delete countless posts I made over the years... those fools will surely look through all my stuff anyway, I don't want them seeing and judging it with their broken little primate minds that may perceive god knows what atrocity. My main problem is even if I made the request, they likely still label SFW content as NSFW even when it's not explicit; There are rumors of staff members being intoxicated about themes like furry / macro / vore into thinking it's undercover sexual content or some shit... something similar happened on Youtube, it's why independent animation has been impossible or at best risky to post there in recent years. I don't want to live with the feeling that I stand to be attacked for anything I post when I least expect it... platforms like Furaffinity and some governments are causing that enough as it is.

If I do shut down I'll likely keep creating content and posting it for free in the other galleries, as I always had before Patreon came into existence. For as long as even that remains legal and won't require logging in with the United Nations to be allowed to share or view art, seems that's what some psychopaths would like if they had their way. My goal is to move to decentralized platforms like Mastodon, though I'm still waiting for something better suited for media that uses mirroring / seeding for proper censorship resistance. In this way I plan on living off the money I have left and simply creating what I like how I still can, till I either die or am arrested for it under Western Sharia Law.

Not worth going into any more of a rant beyond that. Just never forget that in the year 2023 during the age of logic science and technology, it became impossible or a danger to make a living off creating art, reasons including religious superstition left over from the industrial revolution about porn being harmful to children up to merely seeing or creating fictional art on the fucking internet. I'm just baffled to remember all the nice dreams I had about the future more than 10 years ago, when in my stupidity I thought we'd have a real civilization and America in particular would be heaven on Earth; Took quite the hard lessons to realize the human species will never evolve past the status of tribal savages, you could throw holograms flying cars and warp drives at this world and it will remain but a medieval society with some technology sprinkled on top. I'm past hating anyone for better or worse... at least people, I will die hating the concept of human morality and notion of "empathy" used in their attempts to control and destroy me: When my time comes, maybe even a not so distant future seeing this planet made it clear I'm not supposed or allowed to be alive and exist here, it will at least be without any real regrets.

Just when I thought Furaffinity could not possibly get any stupider, it managed to strike again in full glory of pure facepalm worthy idiocy. I just got a message from FA stuff informing me that one of my old submissions was removed because it is "AI art"... which it absolutely was not, and was created purely by me and by hand. Thank goodness me and my ancestors weren't also banned for 3 generations and 7 reincarnations over it, these days that's a miracle with Furaffinity.

I'm not even going to delve into the fact that generative AI as presented is a hoax, therefore I don't even believe in the existence of such a thing beyond a pair of filters similar to Photoshop, thus haven't even attempted to use such a thing as I'm not even sure what trickery it does to create the illusion. But just how can anyone be so stupid as to see a normal drawing made like every other and randomly conclude it's made by this BS when it's obviously not?! Starting to see what the whole AI crap hysteria was created to achieve.

I don't even know if I should bother opening a ticket to point out the staff's mistake, it doesn't even feel worth it. Main issue is they may be planning to use this to get me suspended again, claiming that random things I made are created by the AI's in their heads because they feel like it: Their recent policy change allows them to see cubs everywhere if they don't like an artist's style... seems even that wasn't enough to randomly go after people they don't like, so now it's also going to be the excuse of seeing sapient men inside computers creating your drawings. Why any of us are still on this platform is beyond me.

As Furaffinity prepares to enter its next phase of becoming the North Korea of the furry community, I wish to announce that from here on I'll be unwatching artists on FA whom I also watch on Inkbunny. Exceptions may be made for those with ongoing comics to avoid mixing formats and losing track, once they finish existing series I'll unwatch them too. So if you abruptly stop receiving comments and favorites from me, it's not your fault and this is the likely reason why... I'll be instead commenting and favoriting your works over on IB if you're there.

My goal is to maintain FA strictly for people I watch here or who watch me here exclusively: I wish to contribute as little traffic and support to this platform as possible... which given they love cancel culture and boycotts so much, removing any unnecessary support myself is a fair and noble goal. Besides this helps me reduce duplicate notifications and seeing the same thing in two places.

If anyone truly believes in freedom of expression, opposing blatant mind control, stopping censorship as an actual universal principle... strongly advice you do the same and distance from FA as much as you can, starting tomorrow when I understand their latest insane policy goes in effect. FA is no longer a place for the real furry fandom nor any open minded person with a free spirit and imagination: It's a knockoff for a fake fandom of posers and imitators to copy and compromise it, which to me exists as a sad attempt to drag the rest of us down into the mud with them.

https://inkbunny.net/Mircea

Normally I don't post journals for music boosts. But since they were so generous as to make the whole album public on Youtube for anyone to listen to, why the heck not it's the least I can do!

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=P.....wjF2ZbL1m0VCgB

One of my two favorite bands of all time: Avenged Sevenfold and The Used are the only ones I still listen to on a regular basis, most are too mainstream and don't have any actual flavor. Waited 7 years for a new album from A7X, finally they released Life Is But A Dream just more than a week ago. Lovely and deep stuff... helps one remember.

Otherwise just working on stuff that doesn't require high motivation: May do another little HTML5 / JavaScript project with my own graphics this or next month. Mostly listening to metaphysical podcasts for cracking the secrets of reality while playing FOSS games to keep my mind engaged in something positive, which I may start streaming again on Twitch probably some 0 A.D. next time.

The policy that will force artists to only use approved art styles that don't risk being perceived as cub by the admins isn't even in effect, yet today many popular artists were quickly suspended together for reasons unknown; One of them hasn't even posted anything on Furaffinity in 5 years, I checked them out last week and no ban now they're out... no idea what they're even accused of but it feels like just what I suspected: There's an ongoing rampage against every creator some radical activist group don't like and wants gone from the platform, they're likely combing galleries to find any excuse and will even use something you posted 10 years ago to get the job done. Even I don't know how much longer I'll be here, an idea I'm long used to so if it ever happens shocked I won't be... I'm not breaking any rules I can even begin to imagine yet I don't know if this even matters any more. Even if I'm among those lucky to survive on the sinking ship for a tad longer, it's now clear most creators I watch won't.

Best I can do is offer a list of other places to find me, where I currently post my work or may do so in the future. I'm not going to fully abandon FA just yet but am aware I'm on a ticking time bomb so may as well do the smart thing early for everyone who watches me here. Inkbunny is my new main so if anyone has that do feel free to say hello on it.

https://inkbunny.net/Mircea
https://weasyl.com/~mircea
https://mircea.sofurry.com
https://deviantart.com/mirceakitsune
https://e621.net/users/405126

Donation based services where you can also help support me if you would like:

https://patreon.com/MirceaKitsune
https://subscribestar.adult/mirceakitsune

At the moment I'm mostly doing mapping and modding for a few games, other stuff is on hold. I'm waiting to see if the world situation clears up somewhat and this insanity subsides; As it stands I don't even know what I can safely create any more and where to share it. Most disruption is caused by this child "protection" insanity and the absurd obsession of far-right Nazis and far-left Marxists alike with controlling NSFW content because they think it's magically cursed; The harm these nutjobs did to destroy free culture and creativity is insane, all out of ambition and a refusal to accept perfectly normal things we should have been past since 90's... I just have no fucking words any more. I hope karma returns what they deserve to the fullest extent, there's only so much shit anyone can endlessly put up with.

https://furaffinity.net/journal/10554708

Gotta love how in one sentence they're like "don't panic we didn't mean what you think we did" then in the next they be like "here's why we meant precisely what we did" only using different wording. Their update was clearly a kneejerk damage control reaction: They're in it up to their necks after this one, ain't gonna be no easy way to swim out of the poop pit they just jumped in.

The practical reality is simple: The admins are going to ban artists if they personally dislike the art style in which they draw their characters. Maybe some are even telling themselves "that's not what it's about" in their own minds, yet that's precisely what it will be in practice. The rule is meant to give every moderator leeway to remove submissions and suspend creators as they see fit, or more accurately based on who they personally consider is worthy of still being a creator on this platform. By its nature the new rule can't be enforced on anything concrete and universally agreeable, you can't have an anatomy or proportion guide describing what will count... it's meant to be enforced solely on the personal impressions of some admins, no one can even know for sure if they're breaking it or not!

A few months ago I was almost permanently banned for making an innocent joke: I was downright told my submission broke a rule it didn't have anything to do with! I appealed and got my suspension overturned, but without any apology or correction or my submission being reinstated. So to anyone who imagines "don't worry if there's a mistake we'll just appeal and solve it" sorry but no; At best you'll be unsuspended a few day sooner... if the way you draw anatomy since you learned art is considered unwoke, your submissions will remain forbidden and you'll be banned if you don't relearn how to draw to the admins liking.

Correction: What I actually mean is any one moderator not liking it. Because all it will take is one banning you for your art style, the verdict of "never post this again" will remain no matter the appeal. Even in a very optimist scenario one mod may say "sorry we made a mistake you can keep posting this style" then weeks / months / years later another mod comes and says "hey this isn't allowed and since you were banned for it in the past we'll presume you're acting in ill intent" since they likely aren't going to keep track of or care what you discussed with another mod in the past.

Oh yes: And let us not forget the army of users currently waiting in a trance of hatred to start spamming reports on every gallery they can think of using the new rule. The admins will be flooded, forced to make quick decisions, and since "bad man everywhere, must catch bad man" is their programming the decision will surely be to remove everything first. No matter how you put it FA is about to start griefing most of its creators and deleting itself out of existence in the process.

https://furaffinity.net/journal/10552819

Don't wanna say too much as even a word out of place is reason to be banned from this shithole. Will mainly state I've never used a website with as much disgust as I do FA: Patreon is coming in close, but Furaffinity beats all in this modern inquisition bullshit. I only looked a bit at whatever crap announcement they posted today before just noping out and closing the tab as it made me sick.

I understand they're essentially trying to regulate art styles altogether: Some of them literally want to dictate the style and anatomy artists are allowed to use... somehow relating that to child abuse in their twisted minds. Why not provide a chart of allowed art styles and body proportions at this stage? How about dictating the brightness and color tone to help fight depression? Oh I have a great idea: Please provide us a palette of allowed skin colors we need to use, that way we can fight racism and stick it those evil people who did slavery 300 years ago! What in the ever loving fuck!?

At this point my only conclusion is they want to create as much grief for content creators as possible just for the sake of causing harm: Those who now control FA seem to want conflict for the sake of it till they finally destroy the site. Dragoneer always seemed nice as an individual from my interactions with him, but he's clearly lost control of the platform or rather gave it up to people I'd rather not describe... it doesn't seem like he has any intent to change that and make it back into anything resembling a bearable place either.

If merely describing a personal wish is allowed, may the suffering of this platform be brief: At this point I only wish see the admins announce they're shutting it down for good, so that we no longer need to use it out of feeling there's no other way to watch some artists. I had some good times and memories here, but we're well past the point where there's no going back to anything positive.

As an animator myself, one that knows how difficult it is to make and publish what you truly feel when it's not what others like or expect, I can't not give a shout out to one of the best animated short films on Youtube I've had the pleasure of watching. Not to be taken as an actual documentary in its entirety, the action seems to take place in a parallel timeline most of the Earth narrowly avoided thus far... still scary relatable and a strong one worth each of the 1.5M views it got in one month.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=vWkepoLUZfs

We should really have a Balls of Steel award: It may sound like an insult or Duke Nukem meme, but oppositely it's for creators who have theirs at all times and aren't afraid to use them. Something I should try out again in my own works generally speaking.

For the most part I've stopped making journals like this. Something happened a few days ago that has been stuck in my mind and kept pushing me to write those thoughts down. Even when I know it addresses an audience alien to myself and beings that are fundamentally different... 99% of people reading this will likely not get close to getting it. And I try not to belittle anyone in saying so, it's just a rational realization in knowing how things stand: It's not to consider myself better, better or worse are subjective terms... I'm just someone that exists in different ways and to serve different purposes. But at least for my own sake and the feeling pushing me since, I will write it.

About a week ago we celebrated the resurrection based on the Romanian Orthodox Easter. It may surprise some to hear this, but I am in fact going to church on occasion at least during the Easter celebrations... now that after years of living under the lies fed by a compromised religion, I better understand who / what God truly is and that he has nothing to do with the caricature painted by this culture. On the night of the resurrection of Christ, what they call the miracle flame comes on in Jerusalem... not gonna debate whether this flame is just another human trick or a breach in the veil that higher beings have allowed to occur, my rational mind is still thorn yet open. The flame is flown to other Orthodox nations by plane which includes churches in Romania, at midnight local priests offer it to people around the church to light their own candles, which then pass it on until everyone lights theirs and goes home with it.

In my case I do this with my mother and some old family friends: After we light our candles we typically go and visit them for a few hours, picking colored eggs to smash against each other then eating them as is done traditionally. We spent a few hours chatting about various things... from normal stuff we all agree on, to friendly arguments on worldly stuff that would get me banned in ghettos like Furaffinity for merely mentioning them again. The fact that me and my mother are from a version of reality parallel to the world some of our friends diverged into isn't what I want to get into right now, at least not in terms of what I'd typically rant about; It's another discussion that emerged from those arguments that relit a fire with me.

At some point my friend told me that in life, you need to go with what you're told and do what you gotta do to put food on the table, how what matters before anything else is having what to eat and drink to survive. I told him I'd happily rather die than live like a robot, that I don't care to survive at any cost, that I will be here as long as existence wants and allows me to then move on. He replied that you have to live as a robot in order to survive and it's foolish to think otherwise, giving me all the serious and rational sounding tropes I've heard so long ago. There was no point in upsetting him, as with most such things we agree to disagree... he's a good being and I'm happy to know him regardless, at this point I'm not even upset at him at all it is who he is; I left it be, yet it's not something I could put behind in my own mind.

This brought back memories from my teen self, back when I once went out with the few friends I ever interacted with: I remembered how instead of even saying "hello" to me, most would introduce themselves by asking "what is your specialty and what will you do in life"... I remembered how alien it felt and how it repulsed me. Our conversation was a reminder of two things: That I don't belong here regardless of the reasons for which I was sent, and that humanity will never change on its own but forever be the life form they are since thousands of years ago. Humans are animals, who at worst live for survival and at best for simple purposes... somewhat domesticated and with complex brain power (far too complex for what they should have) yet choosing to remain mere creatures of this world in making no attempt to surpass the illusion created by their minds. As I said the goal isn't for me to be a butt and get off to belittling others, but to a great extent it's not something I can avoid: It's impossible that I could lie and pretend I don't know it, when merely seeing what they are and feeling its energy is like the soul equivalent of drinking rat poison. It's not something I can use words to explain further; You'd need to experience it to know... I suspect only a handful can get close to truly knowing why I'm saying this, maybe I'm wrong in this assumption and there are others out there but if there's one thing I know it's we're incredibly few. Among the rest I'm well aware most will happily interpret this to convince themselves I'm as crazy as they already believed... and you know what? I think I prefer it that way and it makes it all the more fun!

Know what makes me smile in the face of the misery and tragedy that is your world? The fact that I beat it... I already won. You see... it doesn't matter what your culture, your governments, your police forces may or may not do to me; For at least 20 years you tried your best, yet you could not break me, and in the end you never will. The war was first and foremost for our minds and souls: You tried to shut down open communications so none that is different and could pose an inconvenience would risks remembering themselves... tried to scrub even art off the face of the web hoping I'd forget myself and what I resonate with whenever you felt there's something you couldn't control me over... endlessly echoed the same lies in a hall of mirrors hoping they inevitably become truth with enough voices screaming them... as all that failed and you failed to make me feel guilty just for existing, the last resort was to kick me out of any place I frequent or relied on to eliminate the danger you decided my existence posed. Yet in spite of the worst your evil could throw within the limits of this day and age, I'm still here and never once gave in. The most your crying army could do is making me live in a different time... part of me still in the early 2000's with the creativity and false hope we had back then, another part in a future that may never exist or be decades ahead of the present time... what can I say it's fun to be a time traveler.

The reality is that unlike them, I have seen the light... a light most will go their entire lives without even comprehending, at best they lost the memory the first few years after biological birth. You feared me because the existence I remember disturbs the comfort of the darkness you live in, in a handful of cases the systems of power some rely on to continue playing God with the rest. The most evil are disguised as the kindest of them all, yelling of how they love you and just want to keep you safe as they bite their tongues to hide how badly they want to make you serve them. The sincere but naive think you fought for something great because you glued yourself to a highway to protest the pollution of some oil company... easy to be a hero when you do what your peers are doing and everyone has your back, often after the media rather than your own heart decided on the little momentary cause you're fighting for. You hide those empty lives behind more and more fake complexity, using ever advanced toys or scientific concepts to make the nothingness seem as something extraordinary. So logical and scientific they never bothered to look up something called universal law, the thing observable science is based on and emerges from... among many things it includes something called free will, a rule they've raped to hell and back during the past years thinking there would be no consequences whatsoever. Black is white, up is down, cold is warm... the dinner keeps on going as everyone stuffs their faces with whatever is left, commenting on how good each food tastes and the fancy details behind how it was made, floating in a void where nothing exists beyond the table as the table chairs and everyone attending slowly sink into the chasm of shit.

I don't know what exactly will happen from here on: I don't have access to information about the most likely course of events this world is about to take. What I do know based both on what I see happening in the open and means that never let me down, is that the party's about to be over soon and it's not gonna be pretty; What's coming will be unpleasant for everyone, even I won't escape it either since the approaching trainwreck is global. But it's a necessary step, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Today's world exists in error, a still medieval society possessing modern technology it can't even understand or handle... this is not what 2020 and beyond were meant to be, fundamentals that are decades overdue were kicked down the road till the can can't be kicked any further and the pile comes crashing down.

I'm not going to say more of what I know or think or believe: I've already given enough ammo to certain people... then again me caring what others think has been one of the things I myself had to get past, as such it's all in good practice. But what I did want to say is how happy I am throughout any and all of the depression... that in spite of an entire world that's been not only alien but hostile, I won for both myself and others who come from the same patch of existence as myself: Once this momentary spectacle of an existence is inevitably over, it's what I'm taking with me and going back to... a temporary existence I will also triumph over anyway. I know you have no idea what I actually am, which is logical as for all those years I became an expert in knowing how to stay silent and act like everyone else; I still have fun wondering how various people will react, between the ones who would embrace it and those who'd fight or flee and the ones who simply wouldn't give a damn... as time goes on I care less and less still: Jesus had to deal with far worse when he faced humanity's true nature on the cross, so did priests tortured in Communist prisons even here in my country during the very year I was born... when did they even know how to give up? When you remember you're not the pile of flesh you see in the mirror and your time here is a temporary illusion where things don't happen at random, it's a far more detached view of the horrifying fire raging below when you look down, even when some try to make it so bad it gets to anyone every once in a while.

https://furaffinity.net/journal/10516779
https://gofund.me/0589ed66

I wish to clarify I don't personally know this person or saw them until now. Their journal was shared by a common friend, she trusts him and donated so I decided to do so as well. Normally I don't share donation campaigns as there are so many folks in trouble who need help that it's hard to make a call, but this one notably caught my attention.

From what they're describing, they wish to acquire a beautiful Siberian husky from a friend / landlord who may be legally murdered (A.K.A. put down) if he doesn't have enough to cover certain damages and expenses by next week. TLDR your help may be needed to save a good dog's life from a criminal system. Feel free to ask them more details and so on, I'm just spreading the word and iterating what was brought to my attention.

https://vice.com/en/article/4a3ddb/.....an-tiktok-vpns
https://reason.com/2023/03/29/could.....he-use-of-vpns
https://slashgear.com/1243085/new-r.....ss-banned-apps
https://youtube.com/watch?v=C6AynjtnJG8

Don't mind me: Just being paranoid about internet freedom for no reason again. Something about politicians about to have Americans facing up to 20 years in prison for using a VPN, or law enforcement being allowed to break into your home and demand to look in your computer without any accountability if they don't like what software you have installed. Now don't you worry for you see, it's the name of stopping TikTok: You don't oppose such a thing now do you? Because that would mean you support China... we wouldn't want you being accused of doing that, would we? Thought so... good boy.

Man I can't believe what a troll I was for years, saying how the USA is on its way to becoming the next Iran if we don't pay attention to our rights freedoms and making exceptions to fundamental principles: Clearly I must have been supporting X category of evil people, or deceived into seeing slippery slopes and dangerous mindsets which could lead to consequences that would never ever occur! Hahaha, let us laugh at how silly my paranoia was... some US viewers may be laughing from a prison soon but that's besides the point; At least you showed those like me with our pesky liberty and mistrust in authority who'd dare imagine infinite power can be abused. Now go enjoy yet more of that sweet "safety" one can never get enough of no matter how absurdly much they're stuffed with.

https://mullvad.net/en/blog/2023/2/.....rating-systems

Remember a few years ago when I was a crazy raving lunatic for saying "governments will eventually attack Linux and Firefox and all open-source software under the pretense of stopping terrorism or protecting children"? Congrats: We're already here! Didn't take long for my ramblings to become reality again did it? You have a link above and can find more articles on your own including the EU's portal, this is a fact not me randomly saying crazy things as many so love to believe.

I'm aware this is surely not going to happen... even for the insanity that is the European Union such a thing is likely going to be rejected, even in the unfortunate and unlikely scenario the EU still existed a few years from now. But they are officially trying, with a legit legal proposal that would do just that as presently worded. Politicians would like people to show ID to install any software that connects to the internet on their own computer, while software developers and package databases are supposed to send all of their users communications to Europe's censorship servers so anything you ever say or upload on the internet would be scanned by fictional computer-people (A.K.A. the AI hoax) and physical people alike... all in the name of stopping child abuse and bringing us yet more of that "safety".

For those who still can't get over some things I may have said on Facebook / Twitter / Mastodon years ago, only understanding to take my every word literally in the worst way possible: Remember what I was trying to prevent as I saw it coming. This is where we are because almost no one did anything to challenge mindless paranoia and completely irrational mindsets and horrible behaviors by those claiming to "make the world a better place" only to bring it hell in reality... instead I'm demonized to this day and constantly risk being banned for being among the few who said anything to prevent the rest of us having to deal with things like this today. Just remember what some out there did while others were at least complicit... I sure as heck will.

Letting everyone know I'll be slowly distancing myself from FA for good. I will literally keep using it for as long as I'm still able to and that's it. At the moment I've unwatched several artists so I only rely on the platform for following a few top creators I can't find elsewhere: Content wise I may post only the most basic things, most of my stuff will likely be on alternatives that treat their creators decently. I'm looking at decentralized / federated art galleries as well, Pixelfed seems to be the best option but I'll need to find a server friendly to artists.

When you can literally get banned for having drawn a harmless joke 7 years ago, it's done man stuff is out of control. It doesn't seem to matter how hard we try any more: Some of us are at the point where we honestly don't know what can be safely posted, the TOS is so vague and interpreted so far beyond what you understand by just reading it that anything you do can be included if someone wants to get rid of you, creators need to guess what's acceptable and hope they don't break some misunderstood rule hidden between the lines. You're even expected to remember what you did nearly a decade in the past when something might have not even been against the rules at the time! Meanwhile those who "are in the right" can deliberately start mobs to get rid of people they don't like by mass reporting anything that looks a little funny till inevitably a positive is hit from your entire gallery, all while more or less directly harassing creators and throwing insults on their page in the process... the site doesn't seem to take issue with that of all things but rather appease reports resulting from organized hate mobs. Latest thing made clear is that satire is no longer allowed and fun is officially banned here... the rules don't directly say "no fun allowed" of course, it's done citing different rules that don't even seem to clearly connect to what your post was about, if the right person didn't find your joke funny a way can be easily found.

I removed any ancient submission from my gallery that I imagine could be considered questionable, best I can so since once more you literally have to imagine what people who's thinking you can't even understand must be thinking... I don't remember every single place where I commented so I hope I won't be targeted for some random thing I said somewhere a decade ago seeing that's now a possibility! Leaving this as a testament so the team understands we try following the rules despite how insane doing so has become, in case something else I couldn't begin to imagine today were to happen again tomorrow. I have no idea what must be happening culturally in America and some "empires" for things to get this bad, but the only solution seems to be reducing interaction with anyone unless they want to talk with you privately: Interacting with people on an art site is no longer safe at this day and age... I've been too used to a world that no longer seems to exist and some of us are completely alienated from.

For anyone who is interested, I've indeed started doing casual game streams every couple of days or weeks at most. I got a feel of the experience with some Red Eclipse streams, have now moved on to The Dark Mod which is even more fun to do live, and I plan on doing 0 A.D. at some point though not quite yet. As I'm still in the phase of announcing this, here's an old favorite TDM map which I played last night in theme for the holidays. Yes you get to see and hear the pesky madfox behind this keyboard, including my often unintelligible english accent because I almost always only english in text :)

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1692417368
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAw56sNSkJQ

We all have some happy nude deer to look forward to tomorrow, if anything I'll be working on more stuff in my time. Expect something fun (for some) soon after the new year ;)

I want to make something clear in very direct words for today's cult of a society: I do NOT justify myself for what I think what I feel or what I create, especially not under pressure or under threat. I need no thought passport from and for anyone: I owe no information or explanation to any individual or platform or government, especially because some twisted minds think certain content has special meaning associated with remote harms in their paranoid minds. I can draw or render whatever perfectly normal or completely crazy thing I want if I feel like it, I can freely share what I think feel or make with whoever I want, I can be whoever I want and was born being... you own nobody and the rights to their mind, period.

I have no obligation to trust anybody I don't feel like trusting... particularly not anyone who's looking to take away my rights and freedom, especially corrupt oligarchs now playing the role of popes while hailed as saviors by the very people they're ripping off. I don't need to know or care how your mental triggers work: I don't have nor comprehend them, I can see an image of the most horrible stuff and just scroll past it. I respect that some don't work this way and are more affected by what they put their eyes on, until the moment their sensitivity threatens my right to exist as a being with individual thoughts and creative freedom: If one's "empathy" and diseased complex thinking spiral to the point of going crazed tyrant, it's time for some spirits to be crushed and desensitized in tears, because the rest of us aren't going to live in a hell of angry authoritarian children harassing us everywhere we go because some have too many feelings and can't keep it to themselves! At that point fuck feelings, you're gonna be made into a man sonny: Here's your ticket to Ukraine for treatment soldier, go shove your nose up a few dead bodies scattered on the streets till your empathic condition has been cured.

I'm sickened by the way complete strangers, including the owners of large services or politicians to the comedy of it all, address me as if they're my parents / brothers / children and entitled to my trust whereas I'm obliged to understand their culture. I'm sorry but what hole in the ground did those people crawl from and who the fuck are you? I don't even know you nor need to, at this point I actively don't want to nor want anything to do with your demented world! You think just because I exist I need to be in line with your choir and part of some fashion, be it far-left or far-right or any other woke trash I need to pick from the official lists of ideologies? I feel and believe only what I personally experienced, which was rather isolated from society and other people thank goodness for that! if you think using every direct or indirect method imaginable to endlessly harass and control and interrogate me is going to change that, you're upping what you see here every single time.

My only obligation in this shit world is to not practically and realistically harm others: No going out on the streets mugging or pick-pocketing folks to steal their belongings, no kidnapping punching stabbing shooting poisoning or creepily touching people, and as far as the internet goes no hacking of accounts or making bomb threats... the list goes on for similar common sense stuff. Those clearly justified things are the only actual obligations me and everyone else have: Beyond this we have zero! I'm not obliged to understand anyone's culture and whatever struggle for the "common good" (WTF) they feel I need to be involved in... in turn you aren't obliged to understand me, in fact I actively want people to not truly understand me as any info they have can be used against me by the enemy.

This is an issue of concept and principle, something I know few people these days have instead of wrongly thinking they do: I will be up in arms over it even if it's things I'm not into or downright dislike. Stuff like toddler / very young cub porn is in fact on that list, not to mention death or gore which fuck that shit: It's really not my thing if I'm being completely honest... yet I will defend it too to the death, because just as they can judge and attack those that like it so can their judgmental mind turn against me if the random paranoia already in their brain ever gets rewired, and I'm not gonna play around with monkey brains to find out how this shit works just so I can briefly imagine "maybe I won't be next on the list".

Thing is that the more people try to stop me or interrogate me over things I normally wouldn't even think about if I didn't hear them from others, the more it makes me want to create those things just to spite them. I'm starting to feel that if I don't make my art offensive toward whatever is in fashion today I'm wasting the effort, this doctrine shit actually pushed me into feeling like that. Which sucks because I wish I could at least just focus on what I truly like doing... but hey, if even thoughts are a weapon in some medieval ideological war to you, may as well mix them up and play along a bit!

To sum it up: If I feel like it I can draw swastika dick monsters wearing a "black face" yelling the holocaust never happened while fucking 7 babies and their parents at once: Don't look if you don't like it, none of your or the world's business ootherwise. Capiche?! Of course I likely won't draw that in particular as it's seriously not my thing, plus I don't want the simpletons thinking it must be something I truly believe if I made a drawing about it... that's just to say it is my right to create whatever insanity I'd want free of your hateful judgment.

Was going to talk about the shithole Patreon and more have been turning into, but I ended up writing this instead so best left for another time if still necessary. Just yeah; I've more than reached the end of my rope with whatever alien society is out there beyond my bedroom window... if there's no way we can let each other exist any longer, best I don't speculate.

Since this has been popping up on our art sites it needs to be spoken of. Humanity's latest coping mechanism and attack on reality, known as AI, has been hoaxed into the world of artists and in the process of being infiltrated into our communities. I'm officially warning everyone to beware of either delusions or deliberate psychological experiments, involving people claiming that computer code can literally generate original art out of thin air. Incredibly enough we're now at this stage in the devolution of humanity into madness.

I was already done with the world and this further cements my complete detachment. I spent the past years explaining to a society brainwashed by Star Wars that conventional computer code cannot be made to generate art or recognize content from pixels or think like a person, those beliefs are on par with witchcraft and go against basic laws of physics logic and mathematics; There's no writable code formula for it, it doesn't matter if you call it machine learning nor how many resources you have, binary code has no way of approaching such complexity by design... you'd need a physical conscious brain which involved quantum mechanics and more, that may be possible someday but until then you can't botch the process using existing hardware. To anyone with basic knowledge of how computers work, that stuff is worthy of ushering someone to a psychiatric checkup... not for today's responsible adults who run giant corporations and entire nations, those can afford to live in a parallel existence we aren't even allowed to contradict (it's dangerous misinformation) and I'm sure nothing will ever go wrong in that.

Thus welcome to the latest escalation: Instead of accepting reality and its core limitations, people are now applying oil paint filters to their art and claiming it was generated by men made out of C++ code... they even created websites like that Dal-E for automating the process using keywords to mix sprite patterns. Of course that wasn't enough: Now they take over art sites to impose their epic story onto the rest of us, using the classic game of good cop / bad cop as the usual tactic to introduce every latest thing: First the protagonists come with their fictional danger or technology rabidly claiming its existence while shutting down anyone who gets in their way, then everyone else needs to make statements or enact rules regulating that thing as if it were real. We're now at the later stage where art sites are announcing policies on "AI generated art" ignoring the fact that, you know... such a thing is not physically possible!

Is it worth the effort humanity? Going to such length for what's literally a childish fantasy taken from your favorite 90's films? All for a coping mechanism to deny your reality and limitations? Are you managing to live in your favorite video game and escape reality yet? Because I hear the climate will soon go haywire and there's some war involving nuclear powers while a global economic depression is happily on its way: I'm not sure if the man trapped in the body of a computer can save you from that and take you over to binary land, you might need to close your eyes really hard and port the mechanics from Tron next.

Some people said it well: We live at a time where reality no longer exists at a fundamental level. Even things that physically and logically cannot exist are being simulated as the masses are playing along, without anyone of common sense being able to get in the way any longer, all to appease scammers or people who can't cope with the limitations of their own existence. What even is reality any more then? Why should I pretend I live in a real world, instead of acting like I'm some superhero character who can do whatever I want regardless even of the very laws of physics? Maybe I should take their lesson and abandon this boring mundane existence in favor of a fantasy that isn't there yet... after all, if I really want it, it must be true right now somehow! We're at the point where one can legitimately ask those questions.

I'm going to be doing casual gaming streams from here on. My setup is a bit messy at the moment but it works... mainly inconvenienced as I have a single monitor setup (which I'm not looking to change) which makes reading chat a bit cumbersome, plus some Linux related OBS bugs with window capture that will hopefully be fixed in coming updates. Expect primarily open-source games: I'm currently playing Red Eclipse and will likely get into 0 A.D. and The Dark Mod later on... some exceptions may exist in doing indie games too but I'll mostly be a FOSS game channel as it's what I usually do. This should include both playing as well as modding / mapping, possibly some Blender granted what I'm working on doesn't threaten the culture of the streaming platform's tribe enough to get me banned.

Only rules I have chat wise is to please not do anything that gets others annoyed or draws trouble in general: If it were entirely up to me I couldn't care less about anything of any ideological color being discussed... at the same time I don't want it becoming a 4chan, and keep in mind that like most big platforms Twitch is ran by emotionally unstable people who love to see danger-danger in everything and may act irrationally. I will be setting folks I trust as mods, if someone manages to upset them it probably means you were very naughty... may also have my chat as followers only at least in the beginning as a precaution.

Otherwise note I'm most likely not going to post journals or announcement images here whenever I go live as it's more effort than I feel like putting up with on a regular basis! Currently I'm using Twitch: If that ever goes downhill on me I may move to Trovo or others, will definitely announce such a move in that case. Please follow me here to get updates and be notified:

https://www.twitch.tv/mirceakitsune

I recently returned from my trip to the seaside and have been thinking of what to do from here on. I've been fighting demotivation in getting new work done even if I'm still on it, which has been going for a variety of reasons. One is that I'm legitimately unsure where I can safely post my work any more, image video and games alike... the ideological bullshit is getting worse by the day, I'm frankly sick of constantly feeling someone's breathing over my shoulder and I have to justify myself to the owners of every platform to create whatever the heck I feel like drawing or rendering. On top of having the world itself against me, it feels like whenever I do manage to create something nice I end up driving more people away and losing patrons: Earlier this year I literally created my first (almost) finished game from scratch, yet I went from a bare minimum of some 60$ a month to nearly 30$ per month which I can't even payout to my account due to how small the sum is... it's like everything is working in reverse, the more I try the less anyone cares. I'm actively pondering if and when I may have to just shut down my Patreon and stop making stuff, just waiting for the money to run out and everything to be over; Especially with the added stress of potentially getting banned for anything "immoral" I might create including what I do elsewhere, part of me just wants to be done already... it's not an actual decision so don't worry, but at the same time I don't even know any more at this rate.

For now I've been thinking about the first issue: One of my biggest problems is having no proper place to safely post my animations. Considering I use Mastodon and am gravitating toward the fediverse, I've been exclusively thinking of using Peertube as a platform, mainly as I only trust decentralized systems at this point in time. But as usual the question is which server do I choose? I took a look at https://joinpeertube.org/instances and https://instances.joinpeertube.org/instances but it's hard to see the specifics such as their rules. I was hoping someone else might be able to help me here: Do you know of any fitting Peertube instance where I can post animation without needing to worry? This might help quite a bit in being able to share and keep making animated content. The criteria I'm looking for servers to match at least roughly:

- Allows NSFW content obviously. I don't care about RL stuff but no puritanism on artistic creations.
- No moral crap for fiction! This includes the underage shit if possible: While I have no active plans to make cub stuff, I want to avoid any place subject to extremist ideological shit dictating what I make.
- Be stable enough and ran by a trustworthy team. Ideally have enough funding to be sure there's no risk of going down: Large fediverse servers in the past had shut down when users least expected them to.
- Supports video at reasonable quality. Meaning 1080p @ 60 FPS at the very least. I probably won't do 4k or 120 FPS, even for stereoscopy / VR it remains too resource intensive to be practical today.
- I noticed they use size limits per account which might be problematic if I plan to archive all animations. I'd definitely need at least 20 GB per user, even that will push me to require H.265 compression.

In addition I have a second question I'd like to ask here: I've been seriously considering streaming, particularly of quality FOSS games which are themselves an underrated category. I have a Twitch / Trovo account but never streamed myself, and it's definitely something I could see myself doing! I have everything I need for it including a quality webcam... less for a dual monitor setup since I literally don't want two monitors but who needs that. It seems really fun and maybe I'll get to interact with people in a positive way for a change. Who here would be interested in watching me play games as well as potentially doing some mapping?