FA+
Shop
~COMMISSIONS OPEN~
Posted 5 months agoSo I don't do journals here often, and due to some IRL stuff it's been hard to get back in the swing of things, but I am technically open for commissions.
https://bsky.app/profile/rebirrenam...../3ljuzxukyyc2j
Here's my BlueSky post for everything, since it's all right there.
https://bsky.app/profile/rebirrenam...../3ljuzxukyyc2j
Here's my BlueSky post for everything, since it's all right there.
Merry Christmas + Link to freebase
Posted 2 years agoMerry Christmas! Can't say it's an insanely happy time for me, but it's been a good day (minus feeling like my sinuses are trying to kill me). I hope everyone who sees this has/had a wonder time!
Also!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54926395/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54926395/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54926395/
Link to a free base made by
!
Also!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54926395/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54926395/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54926395/
Link to a free base made by
!COMMISSIONS OPEN!
Posted 2 years agoLike so many people in not in a good situation. I’m stuck in a motel again going day by day because the money I’m owed is tied up in legal and corporate bullshit. I currently don’t have anything for tomorrow and will need possibly $100 at this rate.
My commissions are open at $35 for one character, $40 if there’s extra detail, $10+ if you want NSFW, and $5+ for each extra character.
My post is here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/52280919/
You can send payment either by kofi at LadyStephanie or PayPal at LadyStessie.
https://ko-fi.com/ladystephaniedarkmoon
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/ladystessie
My commissions are open at $35 for one character, $40 if there’s extra detail, $10+ if you want NSFW, and $5+ for each extra character.
My post is here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/52280919/
You can send payment either by kofi at LadyStephanie or PayPal at LadyStessie.
https://ko-fi.com/ladystephaniedarkmoon
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/ladystessie
Birthday Update
Posted 4 years agoMy birthday was good. Aunt came over with my baby cousins and one of the neighbor kids (she’s a sweetheart, even if she likes giving me shit, that’s how we act with each other), along with some balloons and a beautiful card (mini Bundt cakes too, but the balloons had the names of the kids on them, including the nicknames Mom and I called them, and the card was just beautiful). Friend from Connecticut sent a cake (with “Happy Birthday Stessie” on it) and a jug of tea I like.
I dreamt of Mom too. I wish I’d been able to lucid dream, but I know that will come soon. We ran errands and just spent time together…
Shit is gonna start going my way, one way or the other. I’m tired of all of this. I’m scared, but I know it will be okay. I’m strong… I think, I mean I’ve made it this long right?
I dreamt of Mom too. I wish I’d been able to lucid dream, but I know that will come soon. We ran errands and just spent time together…
Shit is gonna start going my way, one way or the other. I’m tired of all of this. I’m scared, but I know it will be okay. I’m strong… I think, I mean I’ve made it this long right?
Turned 31 today
Posted 4 years agoYep, I’m 31. I’m gonna do everything I can to make today a good day, come hell or high water. It will never be great again, because I’m missing one of the most important people in my life, but I can do my best.
4 days until my birthday + RANT
Posted 4 years agoEDIT: I’ve been on this site since 2012, and despite my art being halfway decent I’ve only got 3,000 page visits. My art has like no engagement… what the fuck am I doing wrong? Seriously, does anyone have any tips? Aside from you Felice, I know you feel the same way but you seriously kick my ass in terms of talent. I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong…
—————
So it’s almost been a month and a half, and this will be the first birthday without my Mom. I know she’ll still be here for it, and I’m sure I’ll see her either the night before or the night of (the joys of being able to dream/see/hear/feel dead people), but her not physically being here is gonna fucking HURT.
I’m not sure what I’m gonna do, if anything. I’d planned on doing a really nice vegan Red Velvet with black frosting (or a Black Velvet with red frosting), made with all natural food coloring because of Mom, and sharing that with the babies because we didn’t the last time I had a cake….. I know my Princess wanted to do a party….
I probably shouldn’t be alone for it, but I’m not sure I want to be around anyone for it… at least not physically anyway. I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about being around others right now. I’m not crying as often, but when I do it fucking hurts…
So there’s that. I still want to meet some new people too… never did hear back about that D&D game (it was discussed around the 11th of August I think). I haven’t drawn anything in a while but I really want too… I just don’t feel like doing anything, and I still need to clean…
I still haven’t fully come to terms with Dad either… I miss them so much. I remember when the worst I had in mind was my parents getting divorced, and that was back in Junior High. I knew so many friends whose parents had…. Now I can say mine did, and them (along with my grandparents) are all dead. I know I’m not, but I feel alone still…News + Commission Info
Posted 4 years agoSo good news, my Mom has been paid for and I’ll be receiving her ashes soon enough. That takes a LOT off my mind. I’m still extremely depressed, obviously so, but I’m working on some stuff.
——————
That being said, I do have an option for $10 quick sketch commissions if it interests anyone. I’ve only ever done commissions for in-game money on like Subeta or other sites like that, so this will be a bit new for me. I’ve got them listed in the commissions tab on my page, I have shines set up, and I have a link to my ko-fi page so you can always pay there. If you prefer the direct PayPal link, just let me know!
Just send me a note and we can get started.
So I mean, if you’d like to give me a shot, I’d be happy to draw something for you.
——————
That being said, I do have an option for $10 quick sketch commissions if it interests anyone. I’ve only ever done commissions for in-game money on like Subeta or other sites like that, so this will be a bit new for me. I’ve got them listed in the commissions tab on my page, I have shines set up, and I have a link to my ko-fi page so you can always pay there. If you prefer the direct PayPal link, just let me know!
Just send me a note and we can get started.
So I mean, if you’d like to give me a shot, I’d be happy to draw something for you.
Two Weeks Now Since Mom
Posted 4 years agoIt’s been two weeks and it feels like it’s been only a few days. During the day sucks, but mostly because the people I do interact with are easier to reach at night my time (which is perfectly fine). Family has been… well, “sending you hugs” isn’t the same as receiving them, which I desperately need.
I had a dream I died. I felt my heart slow to a stop, and admittedly it was an oddly pleasant dream. It’s just because of the stress, and the fucking heartache, so I still don’t plan on going anywhere. I just wish the family I had nearby would give me a fucking call or FaceTime once in a while instead of just… nothing.
I’m incredibly grateful for the ones who HAVE stepped up to help, and you’ll never know just how much you’re helping me.
I know eventually the pain will begin to fade, and that I’ll be able to be really happy again. But that isn’t gonna be for a bit. As my aunt put it, my Mom was my world and I was hers. My world is gone now, and while everyone says I’m being strong, it just feels like I’m existing. Which is fine, I know, especially now.
… I’m just very confused and lost right now. I’ll get there, but it’s all so much.
I had a dream I died. I felt my heart slow to a stop, and admittedly it was an oddly pleasant dream. It’s just because of the stress, and the fucking heartache, so I still don’t plan on going anywhere. I just wish the family I had nearby would give me a fucking call or FaceTime once in a while instead of just… nothing.
I’m incredibly grateful for the ones who HAVE stepped up to help, and you’ll never know just how much you’re helping me.
I know eventually the pain will begin to fade, and that I’ll be able to be really happy again. But that isn’t gonna be for a bit. As my aunt put it, my Mom was my world and I was hers. My world is gone now, and while everyone says I’m being strong, it just feels like I’m existing. Which is fine, I know, especially now.
… I’m just very confused and lost right now. I’ll get there, but it’s all so much.
My Mom passed away
Posted 4 years agoI don’t exactly have a lot of people who would see this sort of thing, but I’ll post it anyway.
My Mom passed away on the 4th. She’d been sick for almost two weeks with what we figured was a stomach flu, but it left her so weak… I’m still not entirely sure what her cause of death was, I’m still waiting on that. I found her in bed and prayed she wasn’t…
She was my best friend (aside from you Felice), someone I could talk to over just about anything, and one of the smartest and kindest women I’ve ever met even IF she’d try to say she was a mean bitch. She could be though, but she loved helping people out if they needed it. She’d had a long and very painful life, both mentally and physically, and losing my Dad to suicide was something she blamed herself for. She worried so much about me, even the night before….
I miss her so much, and I hate knowing I have to live the rest of my life without her. I knew I’d lose her at some point, but right now, 5 years after my Dad… finding her dead like that was my worst fear come true.
Even so, I know she isn’t in pain anymore (physical anyway, I know she’s more then just a little upset I got left behind like this), and spiritually I know she and my Dad are still around (even that day I felt her hug me, so I know she’s still here). That doesn’t take away the pain and the fear, but it makes it just a little bearable.
I love you Mom. I love you Dad. I’m still so mad at you two, but I love you so very much and all I ask is you look out for me and show me you’re here however and whenever you can. I hope you two are proud of how I’m holding on, and I hope you’ll continue to be proud of me until I see you again.
My Mom passed away on the 4th. She’d been sick for almost two weeks with what we figured was a stomach flu, but it left her so weak… I’m still not entirely sure what her cause of death was, I’m still waiting on that. I found her in bed and prayed she wasn’t…
She was my best friend (aside from you Felice), someone I could talk to over just about anything, and one of the smartest and kindest women I’ve ever met even IF she’d try to say she was a mean bitch. She could be though, but she loved helping people out if they needed it. She’d had a long and very painful life, both mentally and physically, and losing my Dad to suicide was something she blamed herself for. She worried so much about me, even the night before….
I miss her so much, and I hate knowing I have to live the rest of my life without her. I knew I’d lose her at some point, but right now, 5 years after my Dad… finding her dead like that was my worst fear come true.
Even so, I know she isn’t in pain anymore (physical anyway, I know she’s more then just a little upset I got left behind like this), and spiritually I know she and my Dad are still around (even that day I felt her hug me, so I know she’s still here). That doesn’t take away the pain and the fear, but it makes it just a little bearable.
I love you Mom. I love you Dad. I’m still so mad at you two, but I love you so very much and all I ask is you look out for me and show me you’re here however and whenever you can. I hope you two are proud of how I’m holding on, and I hope you’ll continue to be proud of me until I see you again.
Good lord…
Posted 4 years agoLast journal was in 2018… yikes.
Anyway, hi. I’m Steph. I don’t initiate much conversation but I do like meeting people. So feel free to say hi if you want.
You don’t need to post a thank you for anything, though I appreciate the sentiment.
That being said, I hope you’re doing good!
Also, for some reason I can’t see anyone’s avatars and it’s been like 24 hours of this. No idea what the fuck other than July seems to be the month literally everything fucks up.
Anyway, hi. I’m Steph. I don’t initiate much conversation but I do like meeting people. So feel free to say hi if you want.
You don’t need to post a thank you for anything, though I appreciate the sentiment.
That being said, I hope you’re doing good!
Also, for some reason I can’t see anyone’s avatars and it’s been like 24 hours of this. No idea what the fuck other than July seems to be the month literally everything fucks up.
28 today! ^^
Posted 7 years agoYep, today's my birthday. Had a red velvet cake with black frosting and red roses on top. Gonna get Chinese food for dinner, and got a pair of nekomimi ears (which the ear clip broke on not long into trying it, but I can fix that). So yeah, working on art, should have something up here soon.
Fortnite/Steam?
Posted 7 years agoKinda wanna try making some friends on these two (only Steam games I have right now are Digimon Masters ONLINE which I just started, Smite which I haven't tried yet due to how long it took to download, and VRChat which I'm still trying to work with/get my controller to work with though I would like a better avatart for it as well).
So yeah, if you see this, maybe say hi? I'm not on all the time on any of them, but I would like to try. Fortnite I'm getting better at though. ^^
Also Yugioh Duel Links. Duelist ID is in my description page on here. I'm on that a lot. ^w^
So yeah, if you see this, maybe say hi? I'm not on all the time on any of them, but I would like to try. Fortnite I'm getting better at though. ^^
Also Yugioh Duel Links. Duelist ID is in my description page on here. I'm on that a lot. ^w^
Fuck. You.
Posted 8 years agoWell I'M done being nice. Fuck this shit...
Slightly annoyed...
Posted 8 years agoThis has just been one of those days where I want to just hit people. I feel like shit and then I can't/don't want to do anything. You know, aside from going back to sleep to pretend this day didn't happen.
I have the flu! 😑
Posted 8 years agoSorry for being quiet, shit's been going on that has made me wanna beat people. Plus I've just been busy and now, yippie for me, I'm sick.
Ugh...
Ugh...
Why I've been quiet (In terms of talking)
Posted 9 years agoThe past couple of months have been... interesting, to say the least. Between losing my father, the stress of having to deal with his estate and look through his things (THANKFULLY lessened by a wonderful paralegal who is a sweetheart and a weird mofo ^^), along with general depression that I've been dealing with for a while now and the fact that I'm introverted and have issues with people....
I end up going VERY quiet.
So if you end up reading this and wonder why I haven't said anything on Skype, or responded to something, or what have you...
There's your answer. Most days I just wanna stay in bed and cry, or simply lay there and do fuck all. I'm trying to draw something, I would LOVE to write more but have been unable to actually muster the energy to do so, haven't touched polymer clay in ages... So yeah. I go quiet and tend to not respond.
Doesn't mean I don't love you or that I don't wanna talk to you, it just means I lack the energy required for me to actually talk or deal with shit. Plus, trying to run after a 3-year-old and deal with a fussy 4-month-old tends to be a bit hard for me to deal with. ^^; I love them though, they make life fucking awesome.
So yeah, there you go. My apologies.
I end up going VERY quiet.
So if you end up reading this and wonder why I haven't said anything on Skype, or responded to something, or what have you...
There's your answer. Most days I just wanna stay in bed and cry, or simply lay there and do fuck all. I'm trying to draw something, I would LOVE to write more but have been unable to actually muster the energy to do so, haven't touched polymer clay in ages... So yeah. I go quiet and tend to not respond.
Doesn't mean I don't love you or that I don't wanna talk to you, it just means I lack the energy required for me to actually talk or deal with shit. Plus, trying to run after a 3-year-old and deal with a fussy 4-month-old tends to be a bit hard for me to deal with. ^^; I love them though, they make life fucking awesome.
So yeah, there you go. My apologies.
SIGNEL BOOST URGENT!!
Posted 9 years agoHm... it's been interesting and horrible... and depressing..
Posted 9 years agoSuffice to say, my father who I had not gotten to see in five years committed suicide in June, the same week as Father's Day (before it though).
I missed getting to spend time with him, playing video games and him being a dumbass. I never got him to come home and try my vegan mac and cheese.... what bothers me the most is I don't know why. I understand WHY he'd be depressed, truly I do, but why?
I told myself years ago I would never do that. I knew the pain it would cause.... I just didn't know it would be this bad...
So yeah... I really just need hugs. I admit it, I need attention. I know it isn't my fault, but I also wasn't enough of a reason for him to stay... it's just been a hell of a rollercoaster.
On the plus side, I have a new baby cousin. A little boy. ^^....... Yeah...
Posted 9 years agoSorry for being quiet. Gonna be for a while longer....
[Undertale Ship] I'm sooo weird
Posted 9 years agoI need to use this journal more. I need to use THIS more. I've gone back to being a lurker and I apologize for that. If I haven't said something to you.... chances are I'm an idiot. ^^; I still have issues and sometimes I get caught up in them.
On a side note.... I found a wonderful Undertale artist and.... well, now I seem to like Mettasans (Mettaton x sans). ... Also Mettaton as an energy-sucking vampire via biting. Not sure why though... ^////^ Normally I TRY to avoid shippings in general, but I don't know... something about sans blushing is fun. ^w^
On a side note.... I found a wonderful Undertale artist and.... well, now I seem to like Mettasans (Mettaton x sans). ... Also Mettaton as an energy-sucking vampire via biting. Not sure why though... ^////^ Normally I TRY to avoid shippings in general, but I don't know... something about sans blushing is fun. ^w^
Thinking of a second account...
Posted 10 years agoNot for a name change, but for adult art. That way I can just go hog wild without feeling bad or like I'm making people look at something they don't like.
Not sure though...
Not sure though...
Happy New Years everyone!
Posted 10 years agoI wish everyone the absolute best and that your lives are filled with love, light, and happiness along with all things good. Also, here's to having the inner strength to deal with bad shit that might happen with grace, tact, and a smile.
Good luck and best wishes to you all. *Offers you all a hug*
Good luck and best wishes to you all. *Offers you all a hug*
Almost 1000 submissions and 222 journals..
Posted 10 years agoBetween babysitting a two year old who won't nap and it being October, I've been BUSY. ^^;
Eventually I'll try to get some good pictures up. I'm working on my costume (bouncing between Steampunk Plague Doctor or white fox... Spirit Halloween has a full head with a moveable jaw for like $60 and if I can get a good coupon and some extras, I might get it... though if I can get it cheap I'm buying it regardless. ^w^) and have made a LOAD of polymer clay stuff.
· Five little cake slices (red velvet with black frosting between layers, black fondant, two have red frosting on top while one is plain, the fourth has black frosting, and the fifth has white frosting with bones in it)
· Five small Jack-O-Lanterns (four generic and the fifth is Oogie Boogie's silhouette on the moon)
· Four small pumpkins with vines
· One small Litwik figurine.
Not bad for like four days of work. ^w^
So yeah... sorry. ^^; I get easily distracted.
Eventually I'll try to get some good pictures up. I'm working on my costume (bouncing between Steampunk Plague Doctor or white fox... Spirit Halloween has a full head with a moveable jaw for like $60 and if I can get a good coupon and some extras, I might get it... though if I can get it cheap I'm buying it regardless. ^w^) and have made a LOAD of polymer clay stuff.
· Five little cake slices (red velvet with black frosting between layers, black fondant, two have red frosting on top while one is plain, the fourth has black frosting, and the fifth has white frosting with bones in it)
· Five small Jack-O-Lanterns (four generic and the fifth is Oogie Boogie's silhouette on the moon)
· Four small pumpkins with vines
· One small Litwik figurine.
Not bad for like four days of work. ^w^
So yeah... sorry. ^^; I get easily distracted.
I'm now a quarter of a century old ^^
Posted 10 years agoSo yeah. I feel kinda old. ^^
Still, I got a wonderful happy birthday from my little cousin who is absolutely adorable (apparently everything was "No, happy birthday Stessi!" with her ^^) and had Red Velvet waffles, and the day isn't over. ^^
On an annoyed side note, fuck Amazon and their Silk browser update. It looks like shit! But at least I can watch YouTube live streams now. Still, it looks so... it looks like they're sucking up to Apple and their fucking iPad with this ugly white shit.
But yeah, I'm sorry for being quiet. This happens sometimes. I'm the kinda person who has a hard time being talkative unless someone else starts talking. ^^; I'm getting better though.
So yeah, hopefully I'll have some art soon. I have a kinky one I drew that's almost done, plus I REALLY need to draw ref sheets for people. Decent ones I mean.
But anyway, hopefully everyone else is having a good day and if you ever need a hug or someone to listen to you, I'm here and happy to help!
Still, I got a wonderful happy birthday from my little cousin who is absolutely adorable (apparently everything was "No, happy birthday Stessi!" with her ^^) and had Red Velvet waffles, and the day isn't over. ^^
On an annoyed side note, fuck Amazon and their Silk browser update. It looks like shit! But at least I can watch YouTube live streams now. Still, it looks so... it looks like they're sucking up to Apple and their fucking iPad with this ugly white shit.
But yeah, I'm sorry for being quiet. This happens sometimes. I'm the kinda person who has a hard time being talkative unless someone else starts talking. ^^; I'm getting better though.
So yeah, hopefully I'll have some art soon. I have a kinky one I drew that's almost done, plus I REALLY need to draw ref sheets for people. Decent ones I mean.
But anyway, hopefully everyone else is having a good day and if you ever need a hug or someone to listen to you, I'm here and happy to help!
Pokémon ORAS Trade (Will do stuff in return)
Posted 10 years agoIs there anyone who'd be willing to help me finish my Alpha Sapphire pokédex? I only need four legendaries to do so and I haven't found anyone whose willing to help me. I really just need their data, so a tradeback works, but if you happen to have muliple of these guys I'd be happy to do something in return.
I can offer art, Flight Rising hatchlings, bred Pokémon you might want, I have a few shinies, and the event Diancie and Shiny Rayquaza plus some other legends. I don't care if they're legit, so long as they don't mess up my game (and if I can keep it then it needs to be able to go into the Bank).
I also ended up losing a Meloetta I got for Pokémon Y as the dude said he was gonna borrow it and then disconnected from wifi (and I stupidly removed him from my acquaintances), so that rather blows.
~~~~~~
Pokémon Needed
Mew
Manaphy
Shaymin
Keldeo
Meloetta
~~~~~~
I can't get them any other way as I don't trust myself doing the whole Pokégen or Action Replay stuff.
