FA+
Shop
Life update: broken bones, broken spirits
General | Posted 2 weeks agoHey, everyone! how have you been?
Long time in no write a journal here as I used to do it before.
A lot has happened this year, things that make me wonder: Am I doing things wrong?
At the beginning of this year, my mother had a drastic spike in her blood pressure, causing her right eye to lose some vision. I've been looking after her, going to her medical appointments with her and reminding her to take her medication at a certain time. My mother is a very strong and resilient person (she grew up in the countryside), however, all of this has been difficult for her.
I stopped smoking weed at that time, and I haven't used it for almost nine months, although I'm struggling to quit smoking tobacco, which hasn't been easy. In addition to that, since I associated weed with drawing, and quitting smoking it, my artistic process had been affected. My art looks downgraded a bit lately for that reason.
Sometimes I panic just seeing my laptop, and I often procrastinate—I procrastinate a lot.
My siblings are also going through difficult times: my sister was diagnosed with an illness that originated from fibroids in her uterus. They don't know for sure what it is, and she's so affected that she often argues with her husband. My brother has lost contact with his daughter due his divorce and barely makes ends meet, drowning his sorrows in whiskey.
They complain to me frequently because the fact I'm with my mother, critizice me that I'm in a better position than they are, which lowers my self-esteem even more than it already is because I think they don't see me as good enough.
Even so, things were improving a little. I managed to put together a pack of Bandit images for my Patreon in a short time, and I felt a bit more empowered as an artist...until a month and a half ago.
There are some neighbors who set up a food stand on weekends next to my house, which is located across from a public park. They always left their trash near my house and didn't take it away. My mother and I had told them about it, but they didn't listen. I posted about the situation on Facebook, encouraged by my mother.
These neighbors reacted violently, breaking into my house and hitting my mother and me. In that moment of adrenaline, I got involved in the fight to defend my mother, and they hit me many times. One of the neighbors kicked me and broke my left collarbone.
The police arrived quickly and stopped the fight, but they did nothing more than fine the neighbors, who played the victim card, saying that my mother and I had hurt them, making up the excuse that we wanted to take away their food stand. Honestly, the police in my country are incompetent....
I had to go to the emergency room with my mother to get treatment, and the next day we filed a complaint with the prosecutor's office against those aggressive neighbors.
I was unable to move my left arm for almost a month. Now I can move it more or less okay, but I can't lift things or make any sudden movements.
The most unbelievable thing is that those neighbors continue to set up their food stand next to my house, defying the police and the other neighbors, thinking they're untouchable and laughing at my mother and me while the prosecutor's office drags out the case against them. At least they started to pick up their trash.
How do I feel?
Scared, angry, and also with that feeling of abandonment and helplessness.
Even though I'm with my mother, I feel truly alone, unable to do anything but face the fear of going for walks with my dog like I used to, with the feeling that I could get hurt.
And many will say: Hey, you're playing the victim. Look on the bright side.
And I tell them they wouldn't say that if the same thing happened to them. For a person with anxiety and depression like me, facing these things is quite hard. I'm not a "normal" person like those who say that.
Even so, they have a point: Living in a country as violent and unfair as Colombia, I'm grateful that something worse didn't happen.
....
I hadn't told on what's been happening in my life until now. I didn't feel like talking about it. Even so, it's part of what I have to do to feel calmer.
I've been seeing a psychologist to learn ways to cope with all of this; it hasn't been much, but at least I can vent.
I just hope things get better even though the universe is against me.
Thank you a lot for reading my journal. I apologize if this whole journal has upset you or sounds pretty negative.
Some people have been concerned about my lack of interaction on social media. So, I apologize for the lack of updates and art activity.
I'm doing my best in bring new art while going through all of this situation.
If I wanted to escape this, I could do it through my art.
Reality hits harder than a kick in the collarbone.
I just hope things turn well...I dunno.
Thanks a lot for your support, guys.
---Kenji---
PD.
To avoid dwelling on how grim my life has been, I have to tell you that my ex-boyfriend had surgery to remove his throat tumors and, after a long course of iodine therapy, he has recovered. My ex has been the strongest person I've ever known, stronger than me. Despite everything we've been through, I admire him for it.
Long time in no write a journal here as I used to do it before.
A lot has happened this year, things that make me wonder: Am I doing things wrong?
At the beginning of this year, my mother had a drastic spike in her blood pressure, causing her right eye to lose some vision. I've been looking after her, going to her medical appointments with her and reminding her to take her medication at a certain time. My mother is a very strong and resilient person (she grew up in the countryside), however, all of this has been difficult for her.
I stopped smoking weed at that time, and I haven't used it for almost nine months, although I'm struggling to quit smoking tobacco, which hasn't been easy. In addition to that, since I associated weed with drawing, and quitting smoking it, my artistic process had been affected. My art looks downgraded a bit lately for that reason.
Sometimes I panic just seeing my laptop, and I often procrastinate—I procrastinate a lot.
My siblings are also going through difficult times: my sister was diagnosed with an illness that originated from fibroids in her uterus. They don't know for sure what it is, and she's so affected that she often argues with her husband. My brother has lost contact with his daughter due his divorce and barely makes ends meet, drowning his sorrows in whiskey.
They complain to me frequently because the fact I'm with my mother, critizice me that I'm in a better position than they are, which lowers my self-esteem even more than it already is because I think they don't see me as good enough.
Even so, things were improving a little. I managed to put together a pack of Bandit images for my Patreon in a short time, and I felt a bit more empowered as an artist...until a month and a half ago.
There are some neighbors who set up a food stand on weekends next to my house, which is located across from a public park. They always left their trash near my house and didn't take it away. My mother and I had told them about it, but they didn't listen. I posted about the situation on Facebook, encouraged by my mother.
These neighbors reacted violently, breaking into my house and hitting my mother and me. In that moment of adrenaline, I got involved in the fight to defend my mother, and they hit me many times. One of the neighbors kicked me and broke my left collarbone.
The police arrived quickly and stopped the fight, but they did nothing more than fine the neighbors, who played the victim card, saying that my mother and I had hurt them, making up the excuse that we wanted to take away their food stand. Honestly, the police in my country are incompetent....
I had to go to the emergency room with my mother to get treatment, and the next day we filed a complaint with the prosecutor's office against those aggressive neighbors.
I was unable to move my left arm for almost a month. Now I can move it more or less okay, but I can't lift things or make any sudden movements.
The most unbelievable thing is that those neighbors continue to set up their food stand next to my house, defying the police and the other neighbors, thinking they're untouchable and laughing at my mother and me while the prosecutor's office drags out the case against them. At least they started to pick up their trash.
How do I feel?
Scared, angry, and also with that feeling of abandonment and helplessness.
Even though I'm with my mother, I feel truly alone, unable to do anything but face the fear of going for walks with my dog like I used to, with the feeling that I could get hurt.
And many will say: Hey, you're playing the victim. Look on the bright side.
And I tell them they wouldn't say that if the same thing happened to them. For a person with anxiety and depression like me, facing these things is quite hard. I'm not a "normal" person like those who say that.
Even so, they have a point: Living in a country as violent and unfair as Colombia, I'm grateful that something worse didn't happen.
....
I hadn't told on what's been happening in my life until now. I didn't feel like talking about it. Even so, it's part of what I have to do to feel calmer.
I've been seeing a psychologist to learn ways to cope with all of this; it hasn't been much, but at least I can vent.
I just hope things get better even though the universe is against me.
Thank you a lot for reading my journal. I apologize if this whole journal has upset you or sounds pretty negative.
Some people have been concerned about my lack of interaction on social media. So, I apologize for the lack of updates and art activity.
I'm doing my best in bring new art while going through all of this situation.
If I wanted to escape this, I could do it through my art.
Reality hits harder than a kick in the collarbone.
I just hope things turn well...I dunno.
Thanks a lot for your support, guys.
---Kenji---
PD.
To avoid dwelling on how grim my life has been, I have to tell you that my ex-boyfriend had surgery to remove his throat tumors and, after a long course of iodine therapy, he has recovered. My ex has been the strongest person I've ever known, stronger than me. Despite everything we've been through, I admire him for it.
doing a YCH again
General | Posted 8 months agoHey, everyone. How are you?
Sorry for being so abstent. I've been good, busy, dealing with some RL stuff.
Also getting more motivated to do a YCH again, I enjoyed a lot doing this one. So, why not?
Check my new YCH here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60200555/
I know I'm not very active as before. Even if we have concrete plans, life can surprise us in any way. I've had to deal with a lot of things, I want to have new goals to clear, and there's some wounds are going to have to take longer to heal.
Thank you for all your support to my art ❤️
---Kenji---
Sorry for being so abstent. I've been good, busy, dealing with some RL stuff.
Also getting more motivated to do a YCH again, I enjoyed a lot doing this one. So, why not?
Check my new YCH here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60200555/
I know I'm not very active as before. Even if we have concrete plans, life can surprise us in any way. I've had to deal with a lot of things, I want to have new goals to clear, and there's some wounds are going to have to take longer to heal.
Thank you for all your support to my art ❤️
---Kenji---
Dragoneer.
General | Posted a year agoToday I knew the sad news: Dragoneer passed away this week.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10923887
...
Dragoneer was one of the few people that had a big impact on my story as a furry on the site.
He helped me promoting Tokenworks when I started with Toenz in the furry artist world.
Considering the things that have happened to FurAffinity throughout its history, in my view, Dragoneer dedicated most of its life to running the site itself. Despite the current public's preference for other sites and social networks, and the occasional technical problems, FurAffinity has remained standing.
The health system in the United States is going through a crisis and what has happened reflects this lamentable state. I think there are social priorities, healthcare is the most fundamental....
But let's put aside the opinions of a greymuzzle like me. My most recent drawing I've made for Dragoneer is on featured submission section temporarly.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/52680094/
At the time, He liked this drawing and gave me some words on X.
That was the last interaction I had with him.
....he will be missed.
My condolences to his family and closest friends.
Rest in Peace. Boss.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10923887
...
Dragoneer was one of the few people that had a big impact on my story as a furry on the site.
He helped me promoting Tokenworks when I started with Toenz in the furry artist world.
Considering the things that have happened to FurAffinity throughout its history, in my view, Dragoneer dedicated most of its life to running the site itself. Despite the current public's preference for other sites and social networks, and the occasional technical problems, FurAffinity has remained standing.
The health system in the United States is going through a crisis and what has happened reflects this lamentable state. I think there are social priorities, healthcare is the most fundamental....
But let's put aside the opinions of a greymuzzle like me. My most recent drawing I've made for Dragoneer is on featured submission section temporarly.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/52680094/
At the time, He liked this drawing and gave me some words on X.
That was the last interaction I had with him.
....he will be missed.
My condolences to his family and closest friends.
Rest in Peace. Boss.
emergency comms CLOSED and other news.
General | Posted a year agoHey, guys.
Thanks for all the support you gave me in my current situation. For more information, here's a journal of what happened to me in the robbery of my valuables.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10827012
I'm half of complete my phone payments, So I need to resume my normal commissions. emergency comms are now CLOSED.
----
I made an itch.io account in order to post past image packs to get money for a new tablet.
https://saberkenji.itch.io/
Hoping to gather the enough money for at least a good tablet to resume my work.
I updated my commission prices. Check my new items here
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/56840984/
Thanks for your attention
---Kenji---
Thanks for all the support you gave me in my current situation. For more information, here's a journal of what happened to me in the robbery of my valuables.
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10827012
I'm half of complete my phone payments, So I need to resume my normal commissions. emergency comms are now CLOSED.
----
I made an itch.io account in order to post past image packs to get money for a new tablet.
https://saberkenji.itch.io/
Hoping to gather the enough money for at least a good tablet to resume my work.
I updated my commission prices. Check my new items here
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/56840984/
Thanks for your attention
---Kenji---
I have been r*bbed, my current situation
General | Posted a year agoLast Friday I was the victim of a robbery.
THE SITUATION:
I was heading to the public library like every week to work on commissions. There was a park nearby, so I decided to rest there. There was no one around. When I took out my phone to check messages, two guys approached me from behind, one took my cell phone and the other snatched my suitcase.
Both robbers were armed with homemade knives, so no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't get out of that situation. I went through a lot of fear while they opened my suitcase, they took away my tablet with which I work on commissions, threatened by the weapons they had.
They fled with my tablet and my phone on a bicycle. The first reaction I had after that was to scream that I had been robbed.
There was nobody around..I was alone, powerless, frightened.
So I immediately ran to the nearby store I found to tell the situation, call the police and in the process ask them to lend me a computer so I could block my cards and remotely deactivate the devices.
THE AFTERMATH
I was able to get a new phone on Sunday, recovering my accounts (google as the main and my socials to be connected again with my family, friends, and commissioners) explaining the situation right after it.
Also I got the backup from the cloud with my photos and the finished commission files that were on the tablet and my phone.
However the unfinished and incomplete commission works I was doing on Procreate were lost....
-HOW I AM?
I couldn't sleep well, not having a phone in my pocket feels like I've lost something big and I blame myself for not being more cautious on the street. My anxiety attacks went back with force and the memories of that experience make me fear of going outside.
What hurts me the most is my tablet...and my apple pencil. It was practically my main device to work on my art.
I forgot I live on a dangerous country on Latinoamerica...Thank god I wasn't hurt or worse.
-AND NOW...WHAT?
Honestly, I have few options.
A relative lent me his graphic tablet so I could use it on an old laptop I have. Since the pandemic I hadn't used a graphics tablet connected to a computer. I installed medibang so I would have something to continue drawing with.
I will try to complete the outstanding commissions using the sketches and updates I gave to the commission agents before the robbery. It would be starting over again...is really frustrating.
-HOW DO YOU CAN HELP ME?
If you like my art, and want to help in some way, my kofi is open for donations.
https://ko-fi.com/saberkenjifc
I am also open to emergency commissions: I can draw pinup lineart for 25 usd, one character, black and white, without background.
PayPal: https://paypal.me/saberkenji
I am very grateful for the support that family, friends, fans and beautiful people have given me.
Thank you.
With love
---Kenji---
PD. long time in no post a journal on FA.
I'm considering in do an itch.io site to put my past image packs.
THE SITUATION:
I was heading to the public library like every week to work on commissions. There was a park nearby, so I decided to rest there. There was no one around. When I took out my phone to check messages, two guys approached me from behind, one took my cell phone and the other snatched my suitcase.
Both robbers were armed with homemade knives, so no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't get out of that situation. I went through a lot of fear while they opened my suitcase, they took away my tablet with which I work on commissions, threatened by the weapons they had.
They fled with my tablet and my phone on a bicycle. The first reaction I had after that was to scream that I had been robbed.
There was nobody around..I was alone, powerless, frightened.
So I immediately ran to the nearby store I found to tell the situation, call the police and in the process ask them to lend me a computer so I could block my cards and remotely deactivate the devices.
THE AFTERMATH
I was able to get a new phone on Sunday, recovering my accounts (google as the main and my socials to be connected again with my family, friends, and commissioners) explaining the situation right after it.
Also I got the backup from the cloud with my photos and the finished commission files that were on the tablet and my phone.
However the unfinished and incomplete commission works I was doing on Procreate were lost....
-HOW I AM?
I couldn't sleep well, not having a phone in my pocket feels like I've lost something big and I blame myself for not being more cautious on the street. My anxiety attacks went back with force and the memories of that experience make me fear of going outside.
What hurts me the most is my tablet...and my apple pencil. It was practically my main device to work on my art.
I forgot I live on a dangerous country on Latinoamerica...Thank god I wasn't hurt or worse.
-AND NOW...WHAT?
Honestly, I have few options.
A relative lent me his graphic tablet so I could use it on an old laptop I have. Since the pandemic I hadn't used a graphics tablet connected to a computer. I installed medibang so I would have something to continue drawing with.
I will try to complete the outstanding commissions using the sketches and updates I gave to the commission agents before the robbery. It would be starting over again...is really frustrating.
-HOW DO YOU CAN HELP ME?
If you like my art, and want to help in some way, my kofi is open for donations.
https://ko-fi.com/saberkenjifc
I am also open to emergency commissions: I can draw pinup lineart for 25 usd, one character, black and white, without background.
PayPal: https://paypal.me/saberkenji
I am very grateful for the support that family, friends, fans and beautiful people have given me.
Thank you.
With love
---Kenji---
PD. long time in no post a journal on FA.
I'm considering in do an itch.io site to put my past image packs.
COMMISSION CHRISTMAS SALE!!
General | Posted 2 years ago COMMISSION SALE 2023
5% discounts in:
-Lineart illustrations!
Before: 65 usd. Now: 62 usd (lineart deluxe)
-Digital flat color drawings!
Before: 100 usd. Now: 95 usd (Cellshading)
…and more hot stuff!!
-Payments via PAYPAL.-
check my COMMISSION PRICE LIST BELOW!!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50675228/
Or send me a message at SaberKenji on telegram.
—-
I’ve been going through hard times and I need a helpful hand. Your support is important to me.
Thank you!
5% discounts in:
-Lineart illustrations!
Before: 65 usd. Now: 62 usd (lineart deluxe)
-Digital flat color drawings!
Before: 100 usd. Now: 95 usd (Cellshading)
…and more hot stuff!!
-Payments via PAYPAL.-
check my COMMISSION PRICE LIST BELOW!!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50675228/
Or send me a message at SaberKenji on telegram.
—-
I’ve been going through hard times and I need a helpful hand. Your support is important to me.
Thank you!
YCH auction CLOSED
General | Posted 2 years agoHello, everyone.
News about my most recent YCH.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53501857/
Only two people bid and win two places.
The remaining place will be replaced by one of my OC’s.
This is the last time I do something like this, really is frustrating. ><
Gonna stick with commissions as usual.
Thank you for join in my recent YCH auction.
See you next time.
—-Kenji—-
News about my most recent YCH.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53501857/
Only two people bid and win two places.
The remaining place will be replaced by one of my OC’s.
This is the last time I do something like this, really is frustrating. ><
Gonna stick with commissions as usual.
Thank you for join in my recent YCH auction.
See you next time.
—-Kenji—-
COMMISSIONS OPEN AND YCH AUCTION
General | Posted 2 years agoHey, everyone! I’ve been very abstent on the site. RL stuff is heavy right now.
I must pay a credit on September or the bank is gonna evict me. I’m right now desperate.
So I’m doing a YCH auction to gather funds to pay that debt completely and to spend additional money on my medical needs.
Check my YCH offer here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53501857/
One slot was taken and two more are available, please bid and get yours now!
Also I’m opening commissions on September. Check my commission price list here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50675228/
I have opened 5 places for new commissioners. If you get one, I’ll be very grateful to you :heart:
Thank you for your attention.
Kisses!
—-Kenji—-
I must pay a credit on September or the bank is gonna evict me. I’m right now desperate.
So I’m doing a YCH auction to gather funds to pay that debt completely and to spend additional money on my medical needs.
Check my YCH offer here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53501857/
One slot was taken and two more are available, please bid and get yours now!
Also I’m opening commissions on September. Check my commission price list here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50675228/
I have opened 5 places for new commissioners. If you get one, I’ll be very grateful to you :heart:
Thank you for your attention.
Kisses!
—-Kenji—-
❤️ Thank you for your support!! ❤️
General | Posted 2 years agoHello, everyone! How did you been?
https://fxtwitter.com/saberkenjifc/.....uOQc4U2ofDR0_A
I’m glad you like my work, guys. This is my main job but also my passion. Been struggling with RL stuff. Lots of things. Thank you for support me! ❤️ 🖼️ ✏️
Thanks for helping me to maintain the burning flame of my passion.
See you! There’s a lot to do.
—-Kenji—-
https://fxtwitter.com/saberkenjifc/.....uOQc4U2ofDR0_A
I’m glad you like my work, guys. This is my main job but also my passion. Been struggling with RL stuff. Lots of things. Thank you for support me! ❤️ 🖼️ ✏️
Thanks for helping me to maintain the burning flame of my passion.
See you! There’s a lot to do.
—-Kenji—-
Commissions OPEN!
General | Posted 3 years agoHello, everyone! Happy New Year!
This is Kenji.
I'm open for commissions.
The following slots are available:
Full Render commissions: 2 (Max. 2 characters)
Flat color commissions : 2 (One character only)
Lineart commissions: 1 (one character only)
Character reference sheet commissions: 1
Telegram sticker commissions: 1
Examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45796063/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45828233/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48884829/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49888560/
Check my commission price sheet in the header of this journal.
Payments via Paypal
Please message me on Telegram SaberKenji now if you're interested.
Thank you
This is Kenji.
I'm open for commissions.
The following slots are available:
Full Render commissions: 2 (Max. 2 characters)
Flat color commissions : 2 (One character only)
Lineart commissions: 1 (one character only)
Character reference sheet commissions: 1
Telegram sticker commissions: 1
Examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45796063/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45828233/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48884829/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49888560/
Check my commission price sheet in the header of this journal.
Payments via Paypal
Please message me on Telegram SaberKenji now if you're interested.
Thank you
COMMISSIONS OPEN- AUGUST 2022
General | Posted 3 years agoHello, everyone! Happy Bowser month!
This is Kenji.
I'm open for commissions.
The following slots are available:
Flat color commissions: 5 (Max. 2 characters)
Full body commissions (Shaded): 2 (One character only)
Character reference sheet commissions: 1
Examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45796063/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45828233/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16052036/
Check my commission price sheet in the header of this journal.
Payments via Paypal
Please message me on Telegram SaberKenji now if you're interested.
Thank you
This is Kenji.
I'm open for commissions.
The following slots are available:
Flat color commissions: 5 (Max. 2 characters)
Full body commissions (Shaded): 2 (One character only)
Character reference sheet commissions: 1
Examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45796063/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45828233/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16052036/
Check my commission price sheet in the header of this journal.
Payments via Paypal
Please message me on Telegram SaberKenji now if you're interested.
Thank you
Commission Queue -July 2022-
General | Posted 3 years agoHello, everyone.
This is Kenji.
People are asking me if I have a commission queue progress to check if I'm with available slots.
Usually I post my updates in my Trello account, but some people said it's difficult to access.
I'm going to show you my current queue:
Sketching:
- GayNhornyTrex (commission via Twitter)
- Stine (commission via Twitter)
- MaskFan43 (commission via Telegram)
-
loupio_1987 (commission via Twitter)
If you're interested in get one of my commissions, please check my commission pricelist:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47478593/
You can DM or send a message at
- Telegram: SaberKenji
- Twitter: SaberKenjiFC
Thank you so much for your attention.
---Kenji---
This is Kenji.
People are asking me if I have a commission queue progress to check if I'm with available slots.
Usually I post my updates in my Trello account, but some people said it's difficult to access.
I'm going to show you my current queue:
Sketching:
- GayNhornyTrex (commission via Twitter)
- Stine (commission via Twitter)
- MaskFan43 (commission via Telegram)
-
loupio_1987 (commission via Twitter)If you're interested in get one of my commissions, please check my commission pricelist:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47478593/
You can DM or send a message at
- Telegram: SaberKenji
- Twitter: SaberKenjiFC
Thank you so much for your attention.
---Kenji---
Commission Queue -June 2022-
General | Posted 3 years agoHello, everyone.
This is Kenji.
People are asking me if I have a commission queue progress to check if I'm with available slots.
Usually I post my updates in my Trello account, but some people said it's difficult to access.
I'm going to show you my current queue:
On works:
- GayNhornyTrex (commission via Twitter) -On shading stage-PAID
Sketching:
- Dagon (via Telegram) -Refining sketch- PAID
I have slots available to take!
If you're interested, please check my commission pricelist:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47478593/
You can DM or send a message at
- Telegram: SaberKenji
- Twitter: SaberKenjiFC
Thank you so much for your attention.
---Kenji---
This is Kenji.
People are asking me if I have a commission queue progress to check if I'm with available slots.
Usually I post my updates in my Trello account, but some people said it's difficult to access.
I'm going to show you my current queue:
On works:
- GayNhornyTrex (commission via Twitter) -On shading stage-PAID
Sketching:
- Dagon (via Telegram) -Refining sketch- PAID
I have slots available to take!
If you're interested, please check my commission pricelist:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47478593/
You can DM or send a message at
- Telegram: SaberKenji
- Twitter: SaberKenjiFC
Thank you so much for your attention.
---Kenji---
COMMISSIONS OPEN-JUNE 2022
General | Posted 3 years agoHello, everyone! Happy Pride Month! This is Kenji.
I'm open for commissions.
The following slots are available:
Flat color commissions: 5 (Max. 2 characters)
Full body commissions (Shaded): 2 (One character only)
Character reference sheet commissions: 1
Examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45796063/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45828233/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16052036/
Check my commission price sheet in the header of this journal.
Payments via Paypal
Please message me on Telegram SaberKenji now if you're interested.
Thank you
I'm open for commissions.
The following slots are available:
Flat color commissions: 5 (Max. 2 characters)
Full body commissions (Shaded): 2 (One character only)
Character reference sheet commissions: 1
Examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45796063/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45828233/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16052036/
Check my commission price sheet in the header of this journal.
Payments via Paypal
Please message me on Telegram SaberKenji now if you're interested.
Thank you
Life Update (rant and serious things related)
General | Posted 3 years agoHello, everyone.
It's been a long time since I wrote a journal about what I've done lately. Many things have happened and my situation is changing a lot (for better or worse).
For those who don't know me: I'm SaberKenji. I live in Colombia. 38 years old.
I've been drawing furry since 2006. In 2010 I had moved to another account called Tokenworks, starting that stage as a cartoonist working together with Toenz until 2021, after the pandemic, when we ended our relationship.
Since that year, my life has gone through many ups and downs. A lot of low hits. Too many bad things. I tried to keep Tokenworks afloat but a situation with a guy that scammed me (which was out of my hands) caused my reputation as an artist to take a quick nosedive to the hell.
I won't go into details because to be honest, I'm not going to give exposure to those people who affected my reputation.
For this reason I came back to this account, with my tail between my legs, being humiliated by life itself.
I have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) since adolescence and something that was thought to be overcome resurfaced with greater force. Antidepressants are not working anymore apparently.
Every day is a personal hell, a battle against myself where the loser is my body and my health.
Even so, I had hopes that everything would change for the better and that I could only get out of my situation.
Last week my grandmother died.
The last time I spoke to her was a month ago. Supposedly my uncle was taking care of her since the beginning of this year.
I found out what was really going on. Total abandonment. My grandmother should never have left my house, my mother and I were very aware of her. Now I feel frustrated, hating my uncle more and more.
I'm thinking in my uncle as the one who killed my grandma...
But Am I a bad person because I think that? am I someone selfish? Am I paying karma? Do I really deserve what is happening? Those feelings pass through my head every day.
Lately I'm waking up and in the morning I try to get motivation by slapping myself in the face, telling to me: "Not anymore, Kenji!" "You're alive, you should be thankful for that. Wake up and move on!" I neglected my personal appearance and so far I am doing something about it.
I wonder when I will stop suffering. When will it end and how many more things must I lose to find happiness. I am afraid to think about loved ones who will leave my side. Drawing distracts me from all this, and although people tell me that I have improved a lot, that my drawings are incredible, that my art is not the same as before... I still don't assimilate that I do things well. I used to be able to draw something in seconds using my own imagination. Now that imagination seems to be missing or maybe it doesn't want to help me anymore.
I'm still not convinced that I'm doing a good thing.
If you ask me: What do you feel right now? My answer would be: I don't know.
I apologize if this whole journal has upset you or sounds pretty negative, but keep in mind that I just lost a loved one. I want to continue drawing and I would like to draw things that are currently in trend or the things I have in hold for two years.
This is a long process, just like quitting smoking or getting off antidepressants.
Please be patient. I'll be fine...I think.
----Kenji----
It's been a long time since I wrote a journal about what I've done lately. Many things have happened and my situation is changing a lot (for better or worse).
For those who don't know me: I'm SaberKenji. I live in Colombia. 38 years old.
I've been drawing furry since 2006. In 2010 I had moved to another account called Tokenworks, starting that stage as a cartoonist working together with Toenz until 2021, after the pandemic, when we ended our relationship.
Since that year, my life has gone through many ups and downs. A lot of low hits. Too many bad things. I tried to keep Tokenworks afloat but a situation with a guy that scammed me (which was out of my hands) caused my reputation as an artist to take a quick nosedive to the hell.
I won't go into details because to be honest, I'm not going to give exposure to those people who affected my reputation.
For this reason I came back to this account, with my tail between my legs, being humiliated by life itself.
I have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) since adolescence and something that was thought to be overcome resurfaced with greater force. Antidepressants are not working anymore apparently.
Every day is a personal hell, a battle against myself where the loser is my body and my health.
Even so, I had hopes that everything would change for the better and that I could only get out of my situation.
Last week my grandmother died.
The last time I spoke to her was a month ago. Supposedly my uncle was taking care of her since the beginning of this year.
I found out what was really going on. Total abandonment. My grandmother should never have left my house, my mother and I were very aware of her. Now I feel frustrated, hating my uncle more and more.
I'm thinking in my uncle as the one who killed my grandma...
But Am I a bad person because I think that? am I someone selfish? Am I paying karma? Do I really deserve what is happening? Those feelings pass through my head every day.
Lately I'm waking up and in the morning I try to get motivation by slapping myself in the face, telling to me: "Not anymore, Kenji!" "You're alive, you should be thankful for that. Wake up and move on!" I neglected my personal appearance and so far I am doing something about it.
I wonder when I will stop suffering. When will it end and how many more things must I lose to find happiness. I am afraid to think about loved ones who will leave my side. Drawing distracts me from all this, and although people tell me that I have improved a lot, that my drawings are incredible, that my art is not the same as before... I still don't assimilate that I do things well. I used to be able to draw something in seconds using my own imagination. Now that imagination seems to be missing or maybe it doesn't want to help me anymore.
I'm still not convinced that I'm doing a good thing.
If you ask me: What do you feel right now? My answer would be: I don't know.
I apologize if this whole journal has upset you or sounds pretty negative, but keep in mind that I just lost a loved one. I want to continue drawing and I would like to draw things that are currently in trend or the things I have in hold for two years.
This is a long process, just like quitting smoking or getting off antidepressants.
Please be patient. I'll be fine...I think.
----Kenji----
COMMISSIONS OPEN-MAY 2022
General | Posted 3 years agoHello all. This is Kenji.
I'm open for commissions. 5 slots available. One character only.
Character reference sheet commissions are also available!
Examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45796063/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45828233/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16052036/
Check my commission price sheet in the header of this journal.
Payments via Paypal
Please message me on Telegram SaberKenji now if you're interested.
Thank you
I'm open for commissions. 5 slots available. One character only.
Character reference sheet commissions are also available!
Examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45796063/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45828233/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16052036/
Check my commission price sheet in the header of this journal.
Payments via Paypal
Please message me on Telegram SaberKenji now if you're interested.
Thank you
OPEN FOR EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS 5 SLOTS - APRIL 2022
General | Posted 3 years agoHello all. This is Kenji.
I'm open for commissions. 5 slots available. One character only.
I need the money for get groceries urgently!
Examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45796063/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45828233/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16052036/
Check my commission price sheet in the header of this journal.
Payments via Paypal
Please message me on Telegram SaberKenji now if you're interested.
Thank you
I'm open for commissions. 5 slots available. One character only.
I need the money for get groceries urgently!
Examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45796063/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45828233/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16052036/
Check my commission price sheet in the header of this journal.
Payments via Paypal
Please message me on Telegram SaberKenji now if you're interested.
Thank you
Streaming commission artwork 2
General | Posted 3 years agoSolarFox. Some thoughts about him and my life
General | Posted 3 years agoYesterday SolarFox left this world. He was someone who was not only within the Furry community, he was not only someone with whom we shared various tastes such as Tokusatsu, Furry and superheroes.
He was a person who suffered a lot from his illness.
Yesterday I was notified of his death. I was dealing with a depressive crisis and I was in bed, not wanting to do anything.
And I start to think: How much have we lost. I would have liked to talk to him more. I would have liked to do something about it.
Suffering. Loneliness. Anguish….and despair.
These feelings built up so much in pandemic. Things in my life changed so much after closing Tokenworks. After my bear and I had to say goodbye. I am striving to see that light again, that life that I enjoyed so much.
But one cannot control destiny, one cannot avoid the inevitable. I have smoked since the pandemic, something I never thought to try or even look at as a child. I start to think: How much are we taking care of ourselves?
Many of us, including myself, are in that mental hole. The world changed rapidly. One day you are drawing or working in your daily routine, feeling good in that environment….and the next day you are fleeing your country to survive, or you lose what you have invested, the person you love the most leaves.
But we’re struggling against the odds, because Hope is the last thing you lose.
SolarFox's death made me think about these things a lot. Reflect on what I am doing with my life. As living beings, humans Are ephemeral, we have an expiration date and may come at any time.
In my case, I want to take the risk of having a better life, quit smoking, exercise, get a better job.
I didn't know him very well to say these things but I know something that is definitive: SolarFox wanted to live, enjoy a sunny day once again, eat his favorite dish.
SolarFox will always be the ideal furry superhero for me, he fought until the last.
My greatest condolences to the family. I know what it is to lose a loved one, to lose important people in your life. May this be an inspiration to fight for what we want to achieve, so as not to lose hope in our personal struggle. Every time the sun rises, SolarFox will be there, flying through the sky, reminding us that we must live life with intensity, take challenges and be better people. I apologize for not being by your side, you will always be in my heart and mind.
R.I.P Julian. Fly high.
—Kenji—
He was a person who suffered a lot from his illness.
Yesterday I was notified of his death. I was dealing with a depressive crisis and I was in bed, not wanting to do anything.
And I start to think: How much have we lost. I would have liked to talk to him more. I would have liked to do something about it.
Suffering. Loneliness. Anguish….and despair.
These feelings built up so much in pandemic. Things in my life changed so much after closing Tokenworks. After my bear and I had to say goodbye. I am striving to see that light again, that life that I enjoyed so much.
But one cannot control destiny, one cannot avoid the inevitable. I have smoked since the pandemic, something I never thought to try or even look at as a child. I start to think: How much are we taking care of ourselves?
Many of us, including myself, are in that mental hole. The world changed rapidly. One day you are drawing or working in your daily routine, feeling good in that environment….and the next day you are fleeing your country to survive, or you lose what you have invested, the person you love the most leaves.
But we’re struggling against the odds, because Hope is the last thing you lose.
SolarFox's death made me think about these things a lot. Reflect on what I am doing with my life. As living beings, humans Are ephemeral, we have an expiration date and may come at any time.
In my case, I want to take the risk of having a better life, quit smoking, exercise, get a better job.
I didn't know him very well to say these things but I know something that is definitive: SolarFox wanted to live, enjoy a sunny day once again, eat his favorite dish.
SolarFox will always be the ideal furry superhero for me, he fought until the last.
My greatest condolences to the family. I know what it is to lose a loved one, to lose important people in your life. May this be an inspiration to fight for what we want to achieve, so as not to lose hope in our personal struggle. Every time the sun rises, SolarFox will be there, flying through the sky, reminding us that we must live life with intensity, take challenges and be better people. I apologize for not being by your side, you will always be in my heart and mind.
R.I.P Julian. Fly high.
—Kenji—
Streaming commission artwork
General | Posted 3 years agohttps://discord.gg/anSk4Jyt
I’ll be working on one of my commissions and streaming.
See you there!
—Kenji—
I’ll be working on one of my commissions and streaming.
See you there!
—Kenji—
OPEN FOR COMMISSIONS 5 SLOTS - FEB 2022
General | Posted 4 years agoHello all. This is Kenji.
I'm open for commissions. 5 slots available.
Examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45796063/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45828233/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16052036/
Check my commission price sheet in the header of this journal.
Payments via Paypal
Please message me on Telegram SaberKenji now if you're interested.
Thank you
I'm open for commissions. 5 slots available.
Examples:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45796063/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45828233/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/16052036/
Check my commission price sheet in the header of this journal.
Payments via Paypal
Please message me on Telegram SaberKenji now if you're interested.
Thank you
Streaming drawings
General | Posted 4 years agoHello guys, I’ll be drawing stuff streaming via YouTube
Soon I’ll stream on Picarto when I finish the setup.
See you there
—-Kenji—-
Soon I’ll stream on Picarto when I finish the setup.
See you there
—-Kenji—-
Back to SaberKenji
General | Posted 4 years agoHello, everyone.
Kenji here.
long time in no check my old account here in FA.
After what happened with Tokenworks and my career as a furry artist, I can't be there anymore.
I'm going back to be SaberKenji in a new stage of my life.
I need to start from scratch again because my Ex was doing mischevious things behind me in order to damage my reputation. He's not longer part of Tokenworks and the name was tarnished by his actions.
I had to deactivate my account as a precaution. In a few days it will be activated again but there will be no more activity in that account. The commissions that I have pending will be completed and placed in this gallery. I'm not open for new commissions at the moment.
I don't understand why the person I trusted my dreams and my career did this because on a personal whim, this person ruined what I had built.
I'm devastated. I was in an abusive relationship and I didn't see the flags. But its too late.
The only thing left for me is to continue with what I have.
I apologize for all the damage caused by this individual. I will be more attentive from now on.
Thanks for your love, your support and I hope to get out of this depression.
Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
---SaberKenji---
Kenji here.
long time in no check my old account here in FA.
After what happened with Tokenworks and my career as a furry artist, I can't be there anymore.
I'm going back to be SaberKenji in a new stage of my life.
I need to start from scratch again because my Ex was doing mischevious things behind me in order to damage my reputation. He's not longer part of Tokenworks and the name was tarnished by his actions.
I had to deactivate my account as a precaution. In a few days it will be activated again but there will be no more activity in that account. The commissions that I have pending will be completed and placed in this gallery. I'm not open for new commissions at the moment.
I don't understand why the person I trusted my dreams and my career did this because on a personal whim, this person ruined what I had built.
I'm devastated. I was in an abusive relationship and I didn't see the flags. But its too late.
The only thing left for me is to continue with what I have.
I apologize for all the damage caused by this individual. I will be more attentive from now on.
Thanks for your love, your support and I hope to get out of this depression.
Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
---SaberKenji---
To my new watchers...
General | Posted 6 years agoHello.
This is a reminder of the situation about this account.
I'm not having any activity here. I moved all my art activity to
tokenworks
Please watch me there instead.
tokenworks
tokenworks
tokenworks
Also if you like my art and want to support me, please join me into my Patreon Page:
https://www.patreon.com/TokenWorks
I apreciate your support and love through the years into the fandom.
Enjoy the Drawing.
This is a reminder of the situation about this account.
I'm not having any activity here. I moved all my art activity to
tokenworksPlease watch me there instead.
tokenworks tokenworks tokenworksAlso if you like my art and want to support me, please join me into my Patreon Page:
https://www.patreon.com/TokenWorks
I apreciate your support and love through the years into the fandom.
Enjoy the Drawing.
For the people who are following me...
General | Posted 7 years agoHello, everyone. Time in no speak a word here.
I've noticed there is some activity in this, my second FA account lately. So I decided to recover it and dust off a bit over there and there.
Cleaned all my inbox and my message centre.
Then I was reading some comments about projects that I was planning to do but with what happened and the little faith that I had, I am afraid that it won't happen (or so I think).
For those who didn't know the reason why I left this account, to summarize, it was for several things, but mainly:
-A group of furry artists from my country harassed me in 2014. I was suffering from severe depression and that harassment prompted me to show my weakest side, my cowardly side. A personal facet of which I haven't been able to overcome at the moment.
-My lack of personal faith towards myself as an artist, which made me look at all my mistakes caused by a perfectionist ego.
-The sabotage caused by several furry artists and people of FA to whom I deposited my confidence as a fan and follower. Especially of a very popular artist here. I began to develop a hatred for him, in which all content that I saw of that artist after what happened to me lowered my spirits, stoned my moral and increased my hatred towards me as a draftsman.
Fortunately and with the help of my boyfriend and psychology professionals, I realized that I shouldn't suffer so much for someone I haven't seen in my life, nor know anything about their personal life.
He's just a "Pet Peeve" to me right now, even I've even taken several of "this certain Captain" drawings as an example of improve more as an artist.
There's a lot of Telegram groups and channels that I'm avoiding because they keep to distribute art from this man. I think I've developed something like an intuitive trigger with that and I've got used to it.
It's been 4 years since I closed this account and I've realized how much I've improved as an artist. I know that as a person I have not improved much as I would like but at least I know that I am someone better than before, someone better than those who hurt me, someone who still suffers with fear, depression and a lot of anxiety but I am someone who thinks I can improve with those problems on their backs.
For those I have hurt: I sincerely apologize for what I caused to you.
For those who hurt me: 4 years have passed since that moment, and you haven't said a single word. I had to pay all this damage with my karma. I stopped waiting for your apologies long ago. It would be a waste of time for you and me to try to negociate. You are part of the lesson from the past. I'm glad to have met you, because thanks that, I'm better than you.
Thanks for the watches, the favorites and the comments here but this is not my house anymore. I invite you to watch tokenworks and see with your own sight how much I grow as a cartoonist.
See you there and remember the last words I said before dissappearing into Oviblion:
Enjoy the Drawing.
I've noticed there is some activity in this, my second FA account lately. So I decided to recover it and dust off a bit over there and there.
Cleaned all my inbox and my message centre.
Then I was reading some comments about projects that I was planning to do but with what happened and the little faith that I had, I am afraid that it won't happen (or so I think).
For those who didn't know the reason why I left this account, to summarize, it was for several things, but mainly:
-A group of furry artists from my country harassed me in 2014. I was suffering from severe depression and that harassment prompted me to show my weakest side, my cowardly side. A personal facet of which I haven't been able to overcome at the moment.
-My lack of personal faith towards myself as an artist, which made me look at all my mistakes caused by a perfectionist ego.
-The sabotage caused by several furry artists and people of FA to whom I deposited my confidence as a fan and follower. Especially of a very popular artist here. I began to develop a hatred for him, in which all content that I saw of that artist after what happened to me lowered my spirits, stoned my moral and increased my hatred towards me as a draftsman.
Fortunately and with the help of my boyfriend and psychology professionals, I realized that I shouldn't suffer so much for someone I haven't seen in my life, nor know anything about their personal life.
He's just a "Pet Peeve" to me right now, even I've even taken several of "this certain Captain" drawings as an example of improve more as an artist.
There's a lot of Telegram groups and channels that I'm avoiding because they keep to distribute art from this man. I think I've developed something like an intuitive trigger with that and I've got used to it.
It's been 4 years since I closed this account and I've realized how much I've improved as an artist. I know that as a person I have not improved much as I would like but at least I know that I am someone better than before, someone better than those who hurt me, someone who still suffers with fear, depression and a lot of anxiety but I am someone who thinks I can improve with those problems on their backs.
For those I have hurt: I sincerely apologize for what I caused to you.
For those who hurt me: 4 years have passed since that moment, and you haven't said a single word. I had to pay all this damage with my karma. I stopped waiting for your apologies long ago. It would be a waste of time for you and me to try to negociate. You are part of the lesson from the past. I'm glad to have met you, because thanks that, I'm better than you.
Thanks for the watches, the favorites and the comments here but this is not my house anymore. I invite you to watch
tokenworks and see with your own sight how much I grow as a cartoonist.See you there and remember the last words I said before dissappearing into Oviblion:
Enjoy the Drawing.
