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I’m back, I guess.
General | Posted a year agoSoooo yeah. I came back from Japan in September.
Living there was nice and all, but working there was absolutely terrible.
So now I’m back here, living in this miserable little backwater known as Alabama, dealing with my abusive family until I can move in with a friend. (And they’re not making it easy!)
And just when I thought I had finally found a boyfriend, he says he’s “not interested in dating me”.
And I’m also back here, interacting with you miserable little furfags.
Quite frankly, after everything I’ve had to put up with in this fandom, you should be grateful I even give you people the time of day. I find you people to be the lowest form of humanity imaginable, worse than even the lowest vermin on Earth. My hatred for you is neverending and never-yielding, burning with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns.
…Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating here, but still. I’m back in the fandom, even if I’d rather not be. I may or may not start posting art again, depending on my financial situation.
So yeah. Watch me, don’t watch me, I don’t really care anymore. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to day-drinking while spending Thanksgiving with my terrible family.
Living there was nice and all, but working there was absolutely terrible.
So now I’m back here, living in this miserable little backwater known as Alabama, dealing with my abusive family until I can move in with a friend. (And they’re not making it easy!)
And just when I thought I had finally found a boyfriend, he says he’s “not interested in dating me”.
And I’m also back here, interacting with you miserable little furfags.
Quite frankly, after everything I’ve had to put up with in this fandom, you should be grateful I even give you people the time of day. I find you people to be the lowest form of humanity imaginable, worse than even the lowest vermin on Earth. My hatred for you is neverending and never-yielding, burning with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns.
…Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating here, but still. I’m back in the fandom, even if I’d rather not be. I may or may not start posting art again, depending on my financial situation.
So yeah. Watch me, don’t watch me, I don’t really care anymore. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to day-drinking while spending Thanksgiving with my terrible family.
Life Update *VENT*
General | Posted 2 years agoHey there, everyone! It's been a while! I bet you've been wondering what I've been up to lately.
As I type this journal, I am currently sitting in LAX airport, waiting on a flight to Tokyo. I have gotten a job teaching English to students in Japan, and will now be living there, possibly for the rest of my life.
My life in America has been quite... depressing, to say the least. I was born to parents who, quite frankly, had no business raising a child. They were young and rather self-centered. They worked hard to provide for me, but they rarely ever played with me or interacted with me beyond the standard parenting stuff. They were both verbally and sometimes physically abusive and were pretty heavy drinkers, and my dad even got hooked on opioids. He even lost his job recently due to his drinking, and they are now in danger of losing their house. When I began working, they would both have me give them a good portion of my pay. They claimed that "times were tough" and that I had to pitch in, yet they still managed to bring home a $40 jug of vodka every other day, along with weed and pills. They also made me open a couple of credit cards in order to pay the bills, and I am now about $3,000 in debt because of them. Naturally, I tried to refuse to go along with this, but was threatened with being kicked out and sometimes with physical violence.
My school and social lives were never that great either. Being neurodivergent, I found it hard to get along with others, and I never had that many friends. I was an outcast and was subject to bullying from others, which heavily affected my mental health and my studies. The fact that I lived in suburban Alabama and was too poor to own a car (except for a short time, and I had to sell it to pay for college) definitely didn't help matters.
When I discovered my bisexuality and joined the furry fandom, I thought I had finally found a place where I could belong, build relationships and be happy. But it seems that it was too good to be true. I discovered that it's really not that much different from high school, and that the people only really care about consumerism, sexual promiscuity and social status. Hell, for a while I tried playing that game too, and all it got me was a bunch of wasted money, broken relationships... and a small porn stash.
But now I have an opportunity to start a new life! With the help of my grandmother (who was only slightly better tbh, she's a crazy uber-Christian who thinks everything is sinful) I have escaped from my parents, who have since disowned me now that I'm not paying their bills. (Though I'm sure that will change. But if it doesn't, that's honestly fine by me.) I'm finally free! And I'll be living in a country that actually has public infrastructure and social safety nets!
For those of you who stuck by me all this time, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys rock, and I hope to keep speaking to you and maybe even meet you someday! <3
And for those of you who have blocked me, ostracized me, talked shit about me, said I'd never amount to anything, or were just downright mean to me... cope, seeth, ratio, L, no bitches, etc. Quite frankly, I eagerly await seeing you guys get brutally tortured/raped/murdered in concentration camps once the Republicans take over America. <3
Like the Pharoah in the Old Testament, my heart has been hardened, and I have nothing left but burning hatred for this fandom and humanity at large. (I'm working on it though, I promise.) If we go extinct, it honestly won't be that big of a loss.
Maybe I'll come back someday, maybe not. If I do, it'll be purely to spite those that want me gone.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need a fucking drink.
As I type this journal, I am currently sitting in LAX airport, waiting on a flight to Tokyo. I have gotten a job teaching English to students in Japan, and will now be living there, possibly for the rest of my life.
My life in America has been quite... depressing, to say the least. I was born to parents who, quite frankly, had no business raising a child. They were young and rather self-centered. They worked hard to provide for me, but they rarely ever played with me or interacted with me beyond the standard parenting stuff. They were both verbally and sometimes physically abusive and were pretty heavy drinkers, and my dad even got hooked on opioids. He even lost his job recently due to his drinking, and they are now in danger of losing their house. When I began working, they would both have me give them a good portion of my pay. They claimed that "times were tough" and that I had to pitch in, yet they still managed to bring home a $40 jug of vodka every other day, along with weed and pills. They also made me open a couple of credit cards in order to pay the bills, and I am now about $3,000 in debt because of them. Naturally, I tried to refuse to go along with this, but was threatened with being kicked out and sometimes with physical violence.
My school and social lives were never that great either. Being neurodivergent, I found it hard to get along with others, and I never had that many friends. I was an outcast and was subject to bullying from others, which heavily affected my mental health and my studies. The fact that I lived in suburban Alabama and was too poor to own a car (except for a short time, and I had to sell it to pay for college) definitely didn't help matters.
When I discovered my bisexuality and joined the furry fandom, I thought I had finally found a place where I could belong, build relationships and be happy. But it seems that it was too good to be true. I discovered that it's really not that much different from high school, and that the people only really care about consumerism, sexual promiscuity and social status. Hell, for a while I tried playing that game too, and all it got me was a bunch of wasted money, broken relationships... and a small porn stash.
But now I have an opportunity to start a new life! With the help of my grandmother (who was only slightly better tbh, she's a crazy uber-Christian who thinks everything is sinful) I have escaped from my parents, who have since disowned me now that I'm not paying their bills. (Though I'm sure that will change. But if it doesn't, that's honestly fine by me.) I'm finally free! And I'll be living in a country that actually has public infrastructure and social safety nets!
For those of you who stuck by me all this time, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys rock, and I hope to keep speaking to you and maybe even meet you someday! <3
And for those of you who have blocked me, ostracized me, talked shit about me, said I'd never amount to anything, or were just downright mean to me... cope, seeth, ratio, L, no bitches, etc. Quite frankly, I eagerly await seeing you guys get brutally tortured/raped/murdered in concentration camps once the Republicans take over America. <3
Like the Pharoah in the Old Testament, my heart has been hardened, and I have nothing left but burning hatred for this fandom and humanity at large. (I'm working on it though, I promise.) If we go extinct, it honestly won't be that big of a loss.
Maybe I'll come back someday, maybe not. If I do, it'll be purely to spite those that want me gone.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need a fucking drink.
I'm Done.
General | Posted 3 years agoIf something makes you miserable, eventually you have to stop doing it.
When I first joined as a teenager, I was taken in by the interesting people and characters. (And of course, the porn.) However, over the years I began to see the true nature of the fandom: the sexual deviancy, the never-ending popularity contests, the culture of "call-outs" and all of the fake friendships. Over time, I became a jaded and bitter shell of my former self.
All of this culminated in my visit to FWA 2022. People who I trusted, who I thought loved and cared about me, who I wanted to spend time with... they ghosted me. While it's true that I had some nice experiences there, the betrayals that I experienced there have deeply wounded me. I began to have suicidal thoughts, and mostly stayed in my hotel room.
Now that I have returned home, I realize that the fandom has become a source of toxicity for me. And so, it is with a heavy heart that I must take my leave.
I will leave my FA account active for posterity. (And besides, most of you only care about the art anyway.) I will be deleting my Twitter, and will only allow a select few people to message me on Telegram or Discord. I will, however, be leaving all of my group chats and deleting my own groups.
I regret that I will be living Kintama behind. He was the first truly original character that I ever created, and I was very proud of him. I would also like to apologize to anyone that I have hurt. I know I'm not exactly a good person, but I will soon begin seeing a therapist and improve myself.
Maybe someday, we can meet again. Farewell.
The end of a dream
I leave behind everything
To begin anew.
- HIM Kintama Ryo
When I first joined as a teenager, I was taken in by the interesting people and characters. (And of course, the porn.) However, over the years I began to see the true nature of the fandom: the sexual deviancy, the never-ending popularity contests, the culture of "call-outs" and all of the fake friendships. Over time, I became a jaded and bitter shell of my former self.
All of this culminated in my visit to FWA 2022. People who I trusted, who I thought loved and cared about me, who I wanted to spend time with... they ghosted me. While it's true that I had some nice experiences there, the betrayals that I experienced there have deeply wounded me. I began to have suicidal thoughts, and mostly stayed in my hotel room.
Now that I have returned home, I realize that the fandom has become a source of toxicity for me. And so, it is with a heavy heart that I must take my leave.
I will leave my FA account active for posterity. (And besides, most of you only care about the art anyway.) I will be deleting my Twitter, and will only allow a select few people to message me on Telegram or Discord. I will, however, be leaving all of my group chats and deleting my own groups.
I regret that I will be living Kintama behind. He was the first truly original character that I ever created, and I was very proud of him. I would also like to apologize to anyone that I have hurt. I know I'm not exactly a good person, but I will soon begin seeing a therapist and improve myself.
Maybe someday, we can meet again. Farewell.
The end of a dream
I leave behind everything
To begin anew.
- HIM Kintama Ryo
FWA 2022!!!
General | Posted 3 years agoBREAKING NEWS!
For the first time ever, I’m attending #fwa2022 ! I’m so fucking ecstatic right now!
Who all will I see there!?
For the first time ever, I’m attending #fwa2022 ! I’m so fucking ecstatic right now!
Who all will I see there!?
BIRTHDAY NOOK!!!
General | Posted 3 years agoToday’s my 26th birthday, everyone give me attention and gifts! (and sexytimes~?)
I have to work today sadly but I’m going out to sushi for dinner so I’m happy <3
Now get over here and huff this bulge. >:3
I have to work today sadly but I’m going out to sushi for dinner so I’m happy <3
Now get over here and huff this bulge. >:3
Tomorrow’s my Birthday!
General | Posted 3 years agoSorry I haven’t been very active lately, been busy with work and saving up money for something big! It’s a secret though~
But yeah, tomorrow’s my birthday! Greetings/hugs/kisses/gifts/bday sex are all appreciated. <3
But yeah, tomorrow’s my birthday! Greetings/hugs/kisses/gifts/bday sex are all appreciated. <3
Happy Nook Year 2022
General | Posted 4 years agoLet’s hope this one doesn’t suck as much ass.
But I’m not holding my breath.
But I’m not holding my breath.
Merry ChristmASS!
General | Posted 4 years ago*sits my fat nuki ass on ya’lls faces*
Feeling a little *cheeky* today~ ;3
But yeah, happy holidays to everyone!
Feeling a little *cheeky* today~ ;3
But yeah, happy holidays to everyone!
Game night on Saturday?
General | Posted 4 years agoWould anybody wanna join my Discord server on Saturday night and play some games? We have all of the Jackbox packs, including the new one! If you’d be interested, comment below and I’ll send you a link to the server!
Anybody wanna play Jackbox?
General | Posted 4 years agoPlease?
How does one love themselves?
General | Posted 4 years agoI’m genuinely curious, ‘cause I’d like to be able to not hate myself. Any ideas?
Hatred
General | Posted 4 years agoAll my life
I have been abused
Family, friends, everyone
I’ve just been used
But now I have
The greatest power
It is called hatred
When I hate, things feel better
It makes me strong
Makes me safe
It is my sword and my shield
Against the outside world
My hatred is strong enough
To blot out the sun
To plunge the world into everlasting darkness
KILL
MAIM
DESTROY
Until, finally
I am all alone
And completely safe
A little vent poem, don’t take it too seriously <3
I have been abused
Family, friends, everyone
I’ve just been used
But now I have
The greatest power
It is called hatred
When I hate, things feel better
It makes me strong
Makes me safe
It is my sword and my shield
Against the outside world
My hatred is strong enough
To blot out the sun
To plunge the world into everlasting darkness
KILL
MAIM
DESTROY
Until, finally
I am all alone
And completely safe
A little vent poem, don’t take it too seriously <3
Is He Okay?
General | Posted 4 years agoTonight, as I lie here
Drunk and restless
I think of him
We were friends once
But we fell out of favor
He had a rough life
Ace, aro
Parents were mean
Wanted to escape, no way out
Always thinking of death
And I wonder
Is he okay?
I want to ask him
But he won’t speak to me
How sad
I pray for his happiness
As I lay drunk and restless
Drunk and restless
I think of him
We were friends once
But we fell out of favor
He had a rough life
Ace, aro
Parents were mean
Wanted to escape, no way out
Always thinking of death
And I wonder
Is he okay?
I want to ask him
But he won’t speak to me
How sad
I pray for his happiness
As I lay drunk and restless
Raffle!
General | Posted 4 years agohttps://www.furaffinity.net/view/41559710/ Check out this raffle!
Autism Acceptance Month
General | Posted 4 years agoHey guys, April is Autism Acceptance Month! Please be sure to not support Autism Speaks as they are a hate group that wants to cure autism! And don’t use the puzzle piece symbol or the “light it up blue” slogan. Instead, use the rainbow infinity symbol! And please remember to be kind to autistic people! They’re people too!
Also, support the hashtag #AutismAcceptanceMonth on Twitter!
Also, support the hashtag #AutismAcceptanceMonth on Twitter!
Happy birthday to meeee!
General | Posted 4 years agoToday marks my 25th trip around the sun! It’s been a pretty wild ride. Lots of smiles, lots of tears, lots of accomplishments and lots more to come! I’m gonna keep working hard till I can finally say, “I’m happy!”
So... cake and presents plz? :D
So... cake and presents plz? :D
Add me on Steam ya'll!
General | Posted 4 years agoThe name's TanTanTanuki. :3
25th Birthday Twitter Raffle!
General | Posted 5 years agoI've been making a decent amount of money lately, so let's do something I haven't done in forever: a raffle! This one will be held on Twitter! Click the link below to see how to enter!
https://twitter.com/ryo_kintama/sta.....632866305?s=20
Good luck everyone!
https://twitter.com/ryo_kintama/sta.....632866305?s=20
Good luck everyone!
V-Day Confessions!?
General | Posted 5 years agoSo now that it’s V Day, anybody wanna admit they have a crush on me? OwO
Comment down below!
Comment down below!
Life Update (Also Fuck V-day)
General | Posted 5 years agoQuick update ya’ll: I’m saving up for a new computer soon, so don’t expect any new art for a while.
Some good news: I graduated from college and got a job at Walgreens! :D
Bad news: I’m still living with my parents, who are quite annoying.
Worse news: I didn’t get accepted for the JET Programme, which was a job I was really looking forward to.
Even worse news: It’s Valentine’s Day, my least-favorite holiday. It only serves to remind me that I’m always going to be alone.
Welp. Only one thing to do: get drunk, binge on junk food, and watch lots of porn and anime.
My heart is as bitter as the sake I drink.
But don’t let that stop ya’ll from having fun! And if you’re lucky enough to have a mate, take the time to appreciate them and let them know they’re loved.
Have a good one.
Some good news: I graduated from college and got a job at Walgreens! :D
Bad news: I’m still living with my parents, who are quite annoying.
Worse news: I didn’t get accepted for the JET Programme, which was a job I was really looking forward to.
Even worse news: It’s Valentine’s Day, my least-favorite holiday. It only serves to remind me that I’m always going to be alone.
Welp. Only one thing to do: get drunk, binge on junk food, and watch lots of porn and anime.
My heart is as bitter as the sake I drink.
But don’t let that stop ya’ll from having fun! And if you’re lucky enough to have a mate, take the time to appreciate them and let them know they’re loved.
Have a good one.
Trump Is Gone
General | Posted 5 years agoI never thought this day would come. But it has.
Trump is gone. Hopefully he’ll face punishment for his crimes. Hopefully Biden will right some of his wrongs.
Trump is gone. Hopefully he’ll face punishment for his crimes. Hopefully Biden will right some of his wrongs.
DC Coup Alert
General | Posted 5 years ago-GENERAL ALERT FOR US-BASED FOLLOWERS-
There is currently a coup attempt in progress in the American capitol of Washington DC. If you are in the area and do not plan on counterprotesting, please escape or shelter in place as soon as possible. If you do plan to counterprotest, then fight for your country! Fight for your rights! Never give up! Do not let these terrorists win!
There is currently a coup attempt in progress in the American capitol of Washington DC. If you are in the area and do not plan on counterprotesting, please escape or shelter in place as soon as possible. If you do plan to counterprotest, then fight for your country! Fight for your rights! Never give up! Do not let these terrorists win!
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2021!!!
General | Posted 5 years agoMy dearest citizens! We have officially exited the dark year of 2020 and are now entering the bright new year of 2021! Let’s greet the new year with renewed hope for the future!
So, what are your resolutions? Mine are to work harder, study harder, get back into piano, learn to code, and to work out more!
So, what are your resolutions? Mine are to work harder, study harder, get back into piano, learn to code, and to work out more!
Happy Holidays!
General | Posted 5 years agoHappy Holidays from your favorite emperor! I know this year’s been a bad one, but it’s almost over! Just hang in there! Hope Santa brings everyone some good stuff!
Streaming!
General | Posted 5 years agohttps://www.twitch.tv/tantantanuki777 Streaming at 9 CST
