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Okay, so officially, at 10:00pm tonight, I'm going to have HONEST HOUR, where I put my pride aside and you can ask me any embarrassing questions you want! I should be coherent and if you don't know my AIM check it out on my page. I'm not going to be very umm closed about my answers. I ONLY do this once a year, so ask your questions promptly. You can ask anything like "Have you ever had a crush on me sunder?" or "Sunder do you look at porn?" ANYTHING doesn't matter how bashful it is. THE FULL honest truth SHALL be disclosed. However I do not take ANY responsibility for peoples actions henceforth. I'll take both clean and dirty questions, anything you want to know about me, anything you need to know XD.
THIS IS ONE NIGHT ONLY
Starts 10:00pm EST 7:00pm PST 8:00pm CST and 9:00 MST
It lasts 1 hour, so thats all yer gonna get, and if I get overwhelmed I will tell you i need to answer 1 question at a time, Thank you and happy hunting!
What is the price for such honesty you ask? Nothing, I am asking NOTHING in return, however I ask that whatever I tell you, you keep to yourself and I am going to be trusting those people that contact me on aim for questions that they will keep there word
-Sunder
(Please no depressing questions and nothing about my health)
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Okay OKAY OKAY, First off, I am now the OFFICIAL MEDIC FUR ON FA, I CLAIM THIS SPOT ALL THOSE IN FAVOR OF "MEDIC JENNEC" SAY I!
Steam account name: SunderFox
Email in case steams being a bitch: Sunderedfox@gmail.com
ADD ME BITCHES
Also saw speed racer, HOLY SHIT IT WAS ACTUALLY A GOOD MOVIE WTF!?! I WENT INTO LAUGH AT HOW TERRIBLE IT WAS AND I WAS LAUGHING AT THE JOKES INSTEAD!!
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Okay, so like, does anyone else here HATE drama? Cuz yanno what I do! I don't like being woken up at 11:30 to the sounds of anger and bitchery. Now two of my friends, well a FORMER friend now, got into a discussion, and shit was majorly deceived then I GOT dragged into the middle. Course yanno where this goes STRAIGHT TO HELL. Then I get a proper bitching for 45 minutes about how much of a bad person I am. Course now all 3 parties are on fire and people want to DIE. *sighs* its not bad enough getting a call form Doctor Zimmerman this morning about my damn Aneurysm. (don't worry about it they are fixing it with my MVP just makes me nervous and twitchy). It seems these past 6 months have been Back Stab Sunder Month. I'm starting to lose trust in everyone. *sighs wildy*
In the good news, I got a adult commission from  sputnik which is fun and cool. I'm STILL going to AC, so long as one person comes with me, and I shall be ordering medic stuff shortly.
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Okay, well I've been wanting to make an online t-shirt store for furries, by furries, and stuff, run a respectable business yanno? I've had a ton of great ideas for were, furs, therians, just a bunch of stuff, because there is a serious lack of good t-shirts in the fandom. there needs to be a "I'm with furry" and defiantly needs to be a "Hugs Please!" and "NO Hugs Please!" shirt For furries by furries. LOL FFBF XD Something like "Like my head, my other is a latin vixen" I dunno fun stuff. Course I'd have to keep up with the fandom. But im talking TEXT shirts here people not picture ones. I dunno what do you think?
-Sunder
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ALL OF YOU HIT F5 naow plz thank you ^_^ and remember, Der Doktor ist in ^_^
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This is a warning to anyone who has legitimate Manic Depression. I was recently (4/24/08) put on a new type of medication for my MD (Manic Depression Sometimes Grouped with Bipolar Disorder) Now I don't have Bipolar attacks the way normal people would, I used to be much more private about the whole ordeal, I'd either be really really happy or really really sad. There was no middle ground for me, and my old medication (Lithium Based) used to keep it in balance. Lately though, due to my new diet, I couldn't continue taking my old medication (as it constantly makes me eat). I opt to try a new medication (bupropion based), an antidepressant to keep me happy and manic. However this medication has caused my swings to become more Severe. It wasn't till an old friend reminded me this was how I acted back when I wasn't medicated, Paranoid, Scared, and then all the sudden happy. This explains my earlier episode where I went from cursing the heavens to laughing and rolling around. I have a few of my old medication left, and am scheduled to see my therapist tomorrow to change meds back, I'd rather be fat and happy, then like this. I apologize to everyone who has had to deal with me in the last few days. Now I'm not blaming the medication for my behavior, it exacerbated things yes, but my actions are my own, and to anyone I annoyed or pissed off, I apologize.
Also Happy news!
Starting my job down in Provincetown soon!
Edit: HOLY SHIT, the side effects of this drug are ridiculous: the common adverse effects associated with 12-hour sustained-release bupropion (with the greatest difference from placebo) are dry mouth, nausea, insomnia, tremor, excessive sweating and tinnitus. Not to mention "thoughts of suicide"
Tinnitus is when you hear shit thats not there!!! I should of researched this bitch before shoving 300mg down my throat!
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Okay so... I've been destructive today, even to myself. I was sick of my wisdom tooth hurting so I preformed surgery on myself... sadly I am not well versed in medical things and ended up RIPPING out a good portion of my gums... Anyway I turned the lights off and went to bed spitting blood on the floor... or so I thought, ever 2 minutes my mouth would fill with blood and I'd spit it out. Sadly blood apparently flys further than spit usually does... and a couple minutes ago a  woke me up to tell me about nazi scrap books from HELL (true story) and I turned on my lights to get some water and this is what I saw. Mind you these pictures arent for the blood shy. I turned the contrast up a bit to show the lines of spit/blood better, so they look a little discoloured
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v.....bunis/spit.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v.....is/rawrs-1.jpg
Yeah... I've got a demon room now... and I'm gonna wash all the blood away XD
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*sighs* a lot of shit happened today, that I was hoping to get out of my system but it looks like another sleepless night for this tired old jennec. I told my boss I was giving my 2 weeks yesterday, she took it pretty hard, I'm hated around Shaws in the mangers office, because I always throw rank aside and make tactical decisions over there heads. And it saves time. I'm viewed as a hero though to the lower ranking members of Shaws, since I am high ranked they look up to me, and respect me. I am their voice to the powers that be. I stood up to the manager in front of the district manager and cryed that she was being bias and lying. Normally this gets you fired, but it got me promoted. My manager NEVER forgave me for that and would constantly give me the shit end of the stick. no back to the point. I gave my two weeks and my boss today decided to try and fire me. I asked her on what grounds and she got all ruffled and had absolutely no excuse, so she made me sign a paper saying I quit. I gave her the finger cried fuck you in the most professional way possible and said good bye to everyone, then i went back for my stuff in my locker room, and she confronted me saying that I could have been a great employee if I had thought of myself over my friends in the front. I proceeded to get very angry and somewhat violent smashing a chair into a locker and cursing loudly, then my two of my friends that work in the security section came and took me away. mostly for her safety. I immediately drove to the cliffs of fort hill and stood on the edge. Half of me just wanted to plunge into the water to feel the icy embrace and realize that I'm not dreaming.
I sat and thought about a lot of things. watched the big herons fly over me. Watched hawks swoop and catch field mice that were probably out for the first time since autumn...
Anyway... Yeah rough times
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I'd just like to state for the record, I am not going out with  I am single, but I'm really not looking. We fooled around before, yes, but I am in no relationship with ANYONE.
That is all
Sunder
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Okay so, I come from a family of artist, my dad was a CEO of Gillette the razor company for a long time, but when he retired he started building guitars, my mother has been a painter, sculptor, jewelry, and mosaic artist since she had me. and shes really good
here's her website: http://pieces-of-paradise.com/
Now my life I've wanted so much to be artistic. I come from a world of inspiration, from Iceland, to Germany, to Hawaii, to Colorado... I've been all these lovely places and Yet for the life of me I cannot draw. I want to be a good artist I really do I was thinking about taking classes, and stuff, and then today I was working on something and my mom walked over and went "Wow Christian, thats really good!" and I looked up, I had been making a clay figurine for  enoughisenough of her character Ralph and it is coming out pretty good. the body is hard since hes like anorexic skinny but when I've finished I will make a mold and see if I cant make an action figure out of him.
If this comes out well... I will be making figurines for people. My friends first as test subjects then, myself, then if they are good enough I will take commissions, I'd like to note that I am using the spawn character style for my figurines copying molds and stuff, and trying to absorb that in, once I have that either mastered or understood I will try for the metal dark horse line.
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Okay, okay SERIOUSLY apparently I'm a fun/funny drunk I fall over a lot, which happens anyway but more so than usual when I'm tipsy... literally... ANYWAY I'm nothing like my dad so I am happy. Because if I was a dick when I'm drunk I would never drink again, but apparently I calm down and am rather funny turk says I'm pretty "lucid". Also for some reason the word BONK is funnier while I'm drunk. Also if I left any "OMG CALL ME" messages on anyones phone I'm sorry. But SERIOUSLY never watch American psycho drunk you actually GET the movie which I never want to see again, notably because of Christian Bales Junk in like half the scenes... fuck you Christian bale and taking my first name and soiling it with your good looks and your perfect body now everyone has high expectations of me, though apparently according to a recent study my junk is better.... ANYWAY the movie basically said if your an individual and you admit your wrongs it will save you, but if you are a conformist no one believes you... at least thats what I understood drunk XDD. ANYWAY I dont think I'm going to drink again till im with friends XD and preferably my 21st birthday in 1 year and 7 months and 9 days... I still like chocolate milk better *sighs* I'm such a pussy
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I am addict to affection I will take it where ever I can get it... I am addicted to attention again, will take it wherever I can get it... I am addicted to exaggeration.... I am addicted to vengeance and vindication... I am addicted to constantly bettering myself... I am addicted to making others feel the pain they caused me... I enjoy hurting people who have wronged me... I find it hard to stop exaggerating the truth to make myself feel better about myself... I need to hear that I look good from other people to truly believe it because if I look in the mirror I see a monster of a man looking back. I try to buy my friends over because I realize I have no real value to any of them, and no one would like me without it. I manipulate people that are indecisive and make them bend towards my views. I am alone all the time and fear it more than death. I lie to people and tell them I'm fine when I'm not. I lie and pretend to be happy all the time when I'm not. I lie and tell people I'm hurt by things, worse than I really am so I can gauge how they care about me. I trust absolutely no one, and when asked to commit I run away scared. I have no real talent because I give up too easily and wont spend the time to develop it, I pretend to have talent by learning things roboticly and reproducing them on command. Where ever I have a memory I don't want to remember I lie to myself and replace it with another one that didn't happen and keep telling myself it did, till I honestly in my heart believe the lie is real. I want nothing more in this world than for someone to stand by my side till oblivion. The camera makes me look far better than I really am. And I truly believe there is no one on this earth capable of loving me.
I'm sorry I just had to stop living a lie and be honest to myself and my friends
Sorry if anyone likes me less after this post anyone thats my friend reading this you have a right to know, and if you don't want to be my friend after this I understand completely, these are my darkest best kept secrets. and you know what? after i hit the go button down there... I will no longer be living a lie.
Oh... and for those of you out there that haven't watched the movie watch American Psycho...do so... The last line in the movie made me post this
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So! my friends hard times financially is coming to an end. I apologize for only being able to do the bear minimum of commissions etc. Soon my crappy Head CSR (Customer Service Representative [Over-glorified cashier with a tie]) at Shaws shall come to an end. its the worst pay I've gotten in my life busting my ass. But soon this Straight man goes to work at the gay bar! yes thats right! I put on 20 pounds this winter, and since I started my diet have so far lost 7 (I've been on it for a week) its proportion control and proteins mostly... anyway I also started working out in my own home lifting weights and playing DDR... which is just as good as burning calories and shaping those pesky caf's and quad's as a normal treadmill. Soon though my father will be shipping my epic treadmill home from Hawaii as the house is sold (as far as we know the closing is on 12th of may I believe). So I figured I'd prioritize what I have to do with the tip money XD. {{note just because my family is rich doesn't mean I am}}
1. Pay off All debt (500_
2. Buy back all the Xbox 360 games I sold for gas money (300)
3. Ps3 Metal Gear Edition (500)
4. Anthrocon con money (400-1400)
5. Cyborg Ninja Suit from Nightmare Studios (5000-10000)
6. Partials and other Fursuit stuff (4000)
Christ that'll take me like 3-4 months ;~; well depends if we have a good season should make like 3-500 a night... we'll see!
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My blood work and ultrasounds came back yesterday! Umm no I’m not the preggers man they ultrasound my heart every once and a while for a whiddle iddy biddy problem that really isn’t worth talking about. Anyway, good news… Collesteral is down! Im 19 and have low collesterol YAY… wait that’s normal. Also, my red blood cell count is in perfect quantity. My platelets are like SHIT dog we’re here to back your ass up! And above everything it looks like I’m healthier than usual. Except for a tiny thing. Which I’m not gonna talk about XD.
The good news is I received a call today about a new procedure that MAY fix my heart for good. I will have my last surgery July 18th where I will have new valves in my heart!!! The surgery actually can be done through my THROAT isn’t that cool!!! But they said it’s riskier than just slicing my chest open again. Cuz I got those rubber ribs they can just cut put, cut press and stitch or they could do the same with the new micro arm that goes through my throat cuts a hole in my throat does the work on the heart through a series of small mechanical arms and tubes, and sews my throat out on the way back! Problem is until August 1st I won’t be able to eat solid foods…
But I’d really like your guy’s opinion on what I should do. Go with the open chest which runs BIG risk, or go with the throat which has slightly more risk but is "better in the long run" fyi CHEST HURTS LIKE A BITCH. and as with the open heart surgery I've had before theres a chance for M.R.S.A. which kills a lot of open heart surgery patients. Now... I don't take pictures of my chest below the neckline for a reason... I already have a big scar on my chest which only 2 people have seen one which is turkituck I'm really self conscious about it and I really don't want another one v.v
OMG I am finally going to be NORMAL no more needles no more medical bullshit!!! I'M GOING TO LIVE ::dances around like an idiot:: I AM GOING TO LIVE
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SO my friends! This past weekend was surely one I shall remember for a long time! I spent a lot of time hanging out with booboobunnygirl and enoughisenough both very awesome people. We played guitar hero, we ate, we went to Wendy’s and cold stone, and chilies and the park! All in all it was a bitchin weekend, probably the best I’ve had all year. We went fursuiting in the park, with little kids, they were so damn cute. This little boy didn’t want to hug us but when we went to leave he was like “NO wait!!!” it was adorable. Since I hadn’t returned on Monday due to medical reasons *sighs* I was in TROUBLE this morning, but not as much trouble as I would have been last night hadn’t the great let me hang out for a few hours! Playing Earthworm Jim and watching Lupin III. Oh man… good freaking times. NOT ONLY THAT, but Nikolas was drawn!!!! I am so happy. He’s my little inner daemon nazi-esque boy XD. I’ve actually got so much excitement due to the drawing I am actually going to finish the story I was writing about him. Der Alptraum Getragen (The Nightmare Born). I basically have to rework the whole thing but I don’t care I’m like energized now!
Anyway! Love peace and chicken grease
THE ONLY SUNDER
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http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/oukoe_uk_dutch_ship
Yes thats right now even VIKINGS are getting into the recycle thing. My ancestors built long ships to rape and pillage most of your ancestors, from the French, to the Newfoundlanders! Hell even the Turkish and Egyptians! and now we've built a viking longship out of recycled Popsicle STICKS. Do you realize that every time you have a cherry pop, your now funding the viking war effort. So on behalf of the Vegårshei family (my ancestors) we'd like to thank you for your continued support of our pillagings! May your women be large and big hipped! (cuz thats the way we like em!)
-Signed Sunder the Blue.
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So, okay, lets see!
In news this week
April 13th: I will being hanging out with the awesome and
April 19th & 20th: will be coming down to hang out
May 5-12: I will be with  helping her out down in Tennessee
May 16: I begin work wiggling my butt for money (and serving food *rolls eyes*)
June 23: Drive to anthrocon with  ,  , and
thats the major forecast till July
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Stole this from bJ
A : Easy to fall in love with.
B : You like people.
C : You are really silly.
D : one in a million.
E : Great in bed.
F : You are dead sexy.
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
H : You are Quirky.
I : Great in bed.
J : People Adore you
K : You're wild and crazy.
L : Unbelievably great in bed.
M : best kisser ever.
N : You like to drink.
O : Crazy
P : You are popular with all types of people.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
S : You love to drink
R : Fucking crazy.
T : You're loyal to those you love.
U : You really like to chill.
V : You are not judgmental.
W : You are very broad minded.
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Y : best boy/girl friend any one can ask for.
Z : Always ready.
Sundered-Fox
S : You love to drink
U : You really like to chill.
N : You like to drink.
D : one in a million.
E : Great in bed.
R : Fucking crazy.
E : Great in bed.
D : one in a million
-
F : You are dead sexy.
O : Crazy
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Christine
C : You are really silly.
H : You are Quirky.
R : Fucking crazy.
I : Great in bed.
S : You love to drink
T : You're loyal to those you love.
I : Great in bed.
A : Easy to fall in love with.
N : You like to drink.
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Age: 21
Where did you grow up: Rhode Island, Germany, Massachusetts, Hawaii, Colorado. (Gillette brat)
WHAT DO YOU CALL:
1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks.
Brook, Creek, Stream
2. What is the thing you push around the grocery store is called.
Trolly/Shoping Cart
3. A metal container to carry a meal in.
Lunch box
4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in.
Griddle/Pan
5. The piece of furniture that seats three people.
Sofa, Couch
6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof.
Gutter
7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening.
Padio, Lanai, Porch
8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages.
Soda, Pop, FIZBITCH
9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup.
Pancakes, Also flapjacks cuz Im a dick
10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself.
Sub, Grinder, Sammich
11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach.
bathing suit, trunks, SPEEDO
12. Shoes worn for sports.
Tennis Shoes, Sneakers
13. Putting a room in order.
Cleaning, Organizing, tiding up
14. A flying insect that glows in the dark.
Firefly, Lightning Bug
15. The little insect that curls up into a ball.
Umm Pillbox bug, rolly polly, and TECHNICALLY millipedes do it too
16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down.
See Saw, teeter totter
17. How do you eat your pizza?
Deep dish from Uno's ONLY kthanksbye, most pizza SUCKS but no one notices but me ;~;
18. What's it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff?
Garage Sale
19. What's the evening meal?
Dinner, Supper
20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?
Basement, Cellar (most beautiful combination of words is "Cellar Door")
21. What do you call the thing that you can get water out of to drink in public places?
Bubbler, Water Fountain...
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OMG OMG! HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Okay lets put it this way, I am a Capricorn only in the fact that I go after what I want till I get it! This is true, I'm a persistent little fucker. Anyway I recently got promoted to Head CSR at the shaws where I work, which means no more apron, it means TIE TIME. YES like the tie fighter! I get my very own company tie fighter XD. I jest, I get my own tie and a bunch of other perks! I am so happy!!!! *does his happy dance* this is like a super big day for me, I am so fucking happy I worked so damn hard for this.
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Okay when was it decided that a 16 year old teenage girl with little to no driving experience was let to have a freaking DOOMER on the road? I watched a Coyote get DESTROYED by the car in front of me last night on my way home from school and It shook me up a bit. this girl hits the damn thing going 70 in a HUGE FUCK OFF SUV. *I was one car behind her* and AFTER she slammed into it, if she hadn't been on her freaking CELLPHONE *which I clearly saw* she would have seen the poor thing. But after she hit it it took her a while to stop I had already pulled off to the side of the road and was inspecting the poor thing. It was dead on impact, neck looked broken *I'm no vet* and it wasn't breathing or moving. She came up to me and said and I literally quote "Oh my gosh! like did i hit that big dog? aww he looks like my friends Jessica's dog his name is Burnie and like hes the biggest dog you've ever seen, hes like-" at which point I gave her a death glare. and she backed off back into her car. I dragged the poor thing to the side of the road using some shirts I had in my car as makeshift gloves, and used the Foxhole shovel I carry in my car to help me get out of ditches to make a shallow grave for it. the only marker that is left of the poor thing is a wooden cross I fashioned out of shoelace from my converse and two sticks. So if you see this marker on route 6 please just drive a little bit more carefully.
Sorry to rant, its just been pissing me off all morning.
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OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG bought me a resin 1/6 scale Cyborg Ninja "Grey Fox" "Frank Yaeger" Model Kit!!!! those things are out of production and there was only 500 made because its a limited edition stuff! THE EYE FREAKING GLOWS.
I'm gonna call it a birthday present since my birthday was kinda sucky and lonely this year. I hate Dec. 29th... all you people are on vacation or drunk or playing with yer new shit.
Dec. 29th 2008 I am hereby scheduling a fursuit-run-about in a mall somewhere in Massachusetts and see how many furs I can get to come with me and terrorize!
and for those of you that dont come I'll drain your blood, rip out your bones, put your bodies in a chair with elves and reindeer, and tell you all the cool shit I want for Christmas!
Okay Okay OKAY, So I've been mulling around this idea to make a collaberation from a BUNCH of people to draw their character/fursona, into a MGS character and make the cast and turn it into one big picture XD. WHO'S WITH ME?!
Necessary Characters:
-Solid Snake: : 
-Meryl Silverburgh:
-Hal "Otacon" Emmerich:
-Grey Fox: 
-Sniper Wolf:
Optional Characters:
-Liquid Snake: 
-Naomi Hunter: 
-Roy Campbell:
-Mei Ling:
-Revolver Ocelot: 
-Vulcan Raven:
-Psycho Mantis:
-Decoy Octopus:
If you have any interest and want to claim a spot note me or comment!
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Okay Okay OKAY, So I've been mulling around this idea to make a collaberation from a BUNCH of people to draw their character/fursona, into a MGS character and make the cast and turn it into one big picture XD. WHO'S WITH ME?!
Necessary Characters:
-Solid Snake: :
-Meryl Silverburgh:
-Hal "Otacon" Emmerich:
-Grey Fox:
-Sniper Wolf:
Optional Characters:
-Liquid Snake:
-Naomi Hunter:
-Roy Campbell:
-Mei Ling:
-Revolver Ocelot:
-Vulcan Raven:
-Psycho Mantis:
-Decoy Octopus:
If you have any interest and want to claim a spot note me or comment!
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OMG the clergy! *runs and ducks under his bed*
But seriously i saw this on the news and I Just HAD to post this
Because well you'll see why
First off two new commandments straight from Pope Palpatine... I mean Benedict
Thou Shalt not pollute the Earth (I kinda like this one, but seriously it makes us ALL sinners at some point and there was a collective "SHIT!" heard round the world by devote catholics.
Thou shall beware genetic manipulation (OH NOESSSS THE NAZIES SINNNEEED!!! XDDD) also beware of it? OH NO RUN AWAY FROM GENETICSSSS
LOL at the Vatican
Anyway, SO I was very VERY excited to make up my own sin
Thou Shalt not eat all thy host food in his fridge
Make up yer own its FUN!
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Okay! SO! AB is going to be epic, all plans are set, well except for directions... and stuff... and my costume is coming together all I need is a solid black tie, black fingerless gloves, someone who can sew, and a fake cigarette! and boom my costume is finished XP so I wont look like a weird kid there XPP. Anyway, Turk is coming down to see me this weekend and I am most excited about this ^_^. Not to mention my financial situation is finally back on track XD thank god right? Anyway theres a lot of shit thats happened in my life, but I am slowly just finally letting go and being happy bouncy again, I needed to, and without the support of people like:
and
I don't think I would have made it so big thank you to yall.
Also lulufoxywho is offering a SWEET deal on her commissions, shes trying to make some money so she can start her career out in the world! so lets all give her some support XP. But anyway, lulu is offering a deal that I have like NEVER seen before and its FREAKING cheap for what you get!
Heres the deal
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/314491/
Seriously help her out, shes an AMAZING artist! if you dont I swear to the Machine Goddess of the Draw I will make you go through a hallway with lasers and not tell you theres lasers in em, then get pissed on by Otacon I swear I'll do it!
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Well, I am ashamed to say I am no longer SUPER anorexic skinny. Mostly because I stopped being anorexic... BUT! I don't like looking int he mirror and hating my body, I WANT to see my ribs again I miss em XP. I had gone off my pills for a very long time, but I think its time to go back on them, cuz they totally curb my appetite and make me a little more sane. So I'm trying to lose 20 ibs before Anime Boston, which is in 23 days, I've done around 15 on these pills before in that amount of time but yeah XP. So with the proper diet, exercise and motivation I will lose the weight (the pills REALLY help though they increase my Metabolic rate and make me not want to eat XP) My eventual goal is to be back down to 165 for either AC or Furfright. I mean it may not look it from my pictures but I have a very poor diet, I eat like 4 candy bars a day (no joke) and like a bunch of crap food. I had a sorta break down thingy last night looked at myself eating swiss roles on the couch and finally said enough was enough. I promptly then put all the food that could do me harm down the garbage disposal.... cuz I know I'd just get it out of the trash if it was still packaged. Now don't get me wrong I am not overweight, my BMI is EXACTLY where it should be, but like in the last month I have steadily been gaining because I've been drowning myself in comfort foods. So, This is where I put a stop to it, and i guess I just needed to write it out and set goals for myself. Anyway yeah, i am sorry if you read this all the way through its mostly something for me. if any of you talk to me on a regular basis support is always a good thing XP be like "Jesus Sunder get that twix our of yer mouth!" or some such
Anyway
Strawberries, Cherries, and an Angels Kiss in Spring
-Sunder
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I'm baaaaaack! I'm home after one wild and freaking CRAZY week XDDD. I honestly don't think I've ever had that much fun in my life. Going to D7D games, *watching, Fixing computers, Doodling, Eating foods, going to concerts, insane amounts of carnal activities, music, movies, and to boot, my first clubbing experience. (goth club by the name of Haven in North Hampton) OH not to mention that I got to meet VOLTAIRE!!!, FUCKING VOLTAIRE1!!!. So yes, I am back now, and Freya my god is she a good girl! shes lean, shes MEAN, and she goes 120 on the pike XDDD god I was pushing her limits but MAN it was a blast! turkituck's friends all like me, save one brooding male XD but even her parents loved me. I got big bonus points XDDD went to dinner with her folks and SHIT they thought I was awesome and had one "hell of a personality" in a good way. Went and had a romantic ice cream at... oh god I cant remember the name of the blasted place Harlods or something. Only shitty part was the fact I had nightmares almost every night, according to turk, but then again what else is new right? everyone gets em.
Anyway! L, P, and CG!!!
-The new and improved Sunder!
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So I'm living up here in turks abode for about a week, and omg she has the spectrum of roommates. Josh is this hip cool cat, that always plays it well... rather cool, we seem to be getting along fine, granted I talk to much but he likes the music I do, and I like his so its okay XD. but her other roommate, DUN DUN DUNNNN. I made food for everyone today, yes MADE it out of my paycheck, and I gave her some, she basically told me it was gross after eating it seeing as it had chocolate in it, and I wasnt that offended, I played it safe, just tried to relax, and did what I could. Now, Josh LOVES the little fuckers I made, he gobbled them up quickly, and Turk loves em too, so I was like yay I did something productive for the household. HOWEVER once again the OTHER Jessi, came to me complaining that I had used her bowl (which I cleaned) to make them. She said that she was annoyed because stuff like this apparently always happened and that I should have cleaned better or something, I felt too shity to really take in what she said. So here I sit in this little desolate room typing out a journal while turks at work, we've been planning things, and having fun so its not so cool to have a damper on things XD. 4 more hours till I'm safe again XD. Anyway, My pen wound in my neck is healing up rather nice though i was afraid it was infected before. Luggage (the resident rabbit) is nibbling hay beside me as I speak. I'd like to go down stairs and play DMC 4 but I think I just heard the bitchy Jessi and her boyfriend come home and I'd rather not leave this room XP. Sometimes life throws the worst things at you so you can really appreciate the good things to come, this has been a constant reminder thing with Turk. Thankfully I am in a much nicer enviroment now relationship wise.
NEW DEVELOPMENT!!!
Sunder's new Shoulder, arm, and wrist markings are now literally changing daily, I realize that this must be a tad frustrating to those drawing me atm, but its fun! The 6 markings I am making reference two (formerly crescent moons) Are now on a 28 day cycle! they are the phases of the moon, on a full moon sunder has 6 circles on a new moon he has nothing, on a crescent moon he has crescent shaped markings. So happy fun time GO GO GO!!
Also, you will be seeing a lot more "Sheer Force of Will" jokes in the future, or "SFoW" jokes, keep watching for those XD.
but I will leave you on the message that I'm doing rather well, much better than I've felt in a good LONG time, no abuse, no manipulation, no fights (excluding favorite cookies), no begging, no bitching. I feel like I've finally found where I belong rather than just settling for whats comfortable
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So, I am finally getting out of the house, after a long period of being stupid and not doing something about problems that I should face, a mistake that nearly cost me my life in the past, I am not easily going to make it again. For those of you who know of my domestic troubles and care, you can rest easily now, I am finally getting away. I am being transfered to Enfield CT. as a CSR or lower. My life has gone from Hell to Heaven within a month an a half. From losing the thing that was leeching my soul (which until recently I blamed myself for), to something that now modulates it. Someone scooped me up and treated me in a manner that no one has ever treated me before ^_^ and I like it very much. I'm going up to see her on V-day, a day I once feared has now become the day of great anticipation for me. She means the world to me now, and its finally good to have someone that appreciates the things I give. Yes life, the universe, and everything seems to be getting better, other than the fact my st-st-st-stutter is back XD but it can go suck a duck.
Anyway, Blessed be, all ya cool cats, wolves, foxes, etc
L, P & CG
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So, I`m grounded and off the computer (currently on my psp) using wlan XD. On the 18th I`ll be going up to see Turk but i will have my comp back sunday! if you need me call my home and if u need that # note me
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Yes, Well, I've been having fun the past day thanks to a big uplift in my artist block due to lulufoxywho Who like the idea of turning her fursona into gir. Something I had previously done. Welllllll Sonny Jim its time for me to hold my first contest. and there will be 3 winners
Anyone who comments in this journal saying exactly what a Jennec is, gets a spot. I will take all the names put them into a hat old school style and pick 3. The three I pick will have a Character/Fursona of their choice drawn as gir as gift art.
So if your a fan of gir, and want free art, all you gotta do is comment on what exactly a Jennec is.
HINT: its on my front page
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So, past month for me has been rather.. erm.. interesting to say the least, the loss of something I once held dear, to the self realization of how foolish I was. Whole range of emotions from chaotic hysteria, to inner peace. I've been clawing my way up from the lowest I've ever felt and I feel like I just stood at the top of the crater. I can see now that I have a future instead of a bleak uphill that it seemed to be for a while. Hopefully someday I can find some peace and happiness, find someone to love, marry them, have a kid or two, live the American dream.
So in essence I feel like a new man, I'm happier all the time, I do things for ME instead of obsessing over something that barely gave anything in return. Relationships are like see-saws (OMG I JUST THOUGHT OF A MEAN FAT JOKE) theres give and take on both ends, both sides go up and down, but when someone leaves the see-saw theres no way to get back up unless you push yourself or someone else comes to help.
So for all of you who remained loyal to me and helped me through my time of need thank you, you all are wonderful people like Turk, Silvee, Aurocard, Ace, you guys seriously rock.
And with that this sappy journal is coming to a close
OH JEEZE I almost forgot I'm doing my first trade!
lulufoxywho Who is an awesome artist (shameless PLUG)
-Love peace, and well... Chicken Grease
-Sunder
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My car "Freyja" (Pronounced Fray-ah) Is finally out of the shop after 3 weeks of amazingly shitty waiting. She earned a new nick name today from Eric calling her as "Calamity Jane" (also funny because her name is CJ... Like mine) because she is generally an unlucky vehicle, though I love her with all my being XD. So I was driving home at 2:00 am this morning coming home from Eric's and I got pulled over, JUST AFTER MY CAR GOT OUT OF THE SHOP. and omg, I don't think I've ever been that scared before, I was shaking, and then the cop let me off, no warning, no ticket, nothing, he was just like "have a good evening drive safe" I was like O_O;;; Thank you, and he drove off.
I also bought a Vanity plate this week that reads "SUNDER" to put on her.
I should be going up to see Turk soon, gotta fix her computer and cook her foods.
Btw Iceland rules! I <3 being Icelandic
Well Night all you cats and dogs
Love peace... and of course, chicken grease
-Sunder
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So! How is everyone?
Last few weeks have been a vicious HELL for me, bad karma i think, but hey we all gotta keep on moving right?
My legs healing up, still got a slight limp, leg got caught in a board twisted it, knee popped right out. >.< the pills and the brace help a lot though!
My car should be out of the shop and the cuts from the accident are already healed up ^_^ My babys fender, hood, lights, and ummm the side panel? all got pretty messed up but shes getting surgery in car terms to fix her back to normal.
My birthday sucked, my friends didn't come, too short notice, but oh well, I'm 19 now! So I spent it alone, what else is new?
But hey, I'm getting used to this whole alone thing, I'm not sure its as bad as I thought it was. I'm going to Colorado this spring. Gonna take someone, Just don't know who yet, to meet my doggies and go dog sledding with me.
Been seeing a therapist, I really needed to XD, and hes helping more than I thought he would, at not only seeing the truth but also showing me my own folly's.
Playing guitar hero III is very soothing no matter what you do, it engrosses you so you cant think about anything else while you play XD
Thats about it, other than I've been around my friends and at work most of the time.
This has been a test of the emergency journal system, if this had been an actual emergency I probably would have screamed and ran around
-Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease
-Sunder
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Yep, I'll be there, look for the "Coyote Moon Studio" Booth where I'll be working if you want to meet me irl, I'll be doing something there Idk what atm XD. Probably playing loud music or some such.
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Well as many of you know I have a very mild form of schizophrenia, not MILD schizophrenia which is literally not a disease, I just have a light touch of it. My schizophrenia is considered of the paranoid type. Not that I think the FBI is out to get me, I just see something thats not actually there. Its much like having an imaginary friend thats... well, real to you in all ways.
Now, don't get this twisted, I'm not crazy, I can differentiate between reality and what my mind projects. But the scariest part of all of this is that: your know that feeling when your being watched? I can feel that, when something not real is staring at me.
But regardless you learn to ignore the hallucinations when you want to then when you're bored give them attention.
Anyway I'm sure your wondering what the point of all of this is right? Well, I've finally just found a way to deal with all of it, draw it, so thats what I'm going to do, I'm going to DRAW what a schizophrenic sees, and I assure you, it'll be both horrifying and interesting at the same time ^_^
-LP&CG
-Sundered Fox
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