BAT SUPREMACY BITCH! *SCREE SCREE*

I wish it did a better job at cheering me up though. I mean it helps a little. But I had a bad breakdown and I'm still reeling from it. Chronic depression sucks man. Usually it's just a day or two and I'm back to normal but when it hits hard, it sucks x_x

Tangent aside, yeah, apparently it's bat week. I didn't even know it was a thing. Why isn't Discovery jumping on this shit? Fuck those stinky fish and their week getting hyped -_-

So today was easily the worst day of my life since mama bat's passing...holy shit I musta been Mary and taken Jesus cock or something for this level of bad luck.

So let's see what made today absolutely sucktacular! :D

1. Peed self sleeping, dreamt of peeing.
2. Changed sheets.
3. In my diarrhea <3
4. Now that I am wide awake let's wait for the repair guy to fix my roof! (had a leak couple months back from upstairs neighbor, fixed leak now ceiling being repaired).
5. Ok he is gone now, gonna clean up and *power outage*
6. Hey is the power out eveyrwhere? No? Just here? Wtf! *power cut from lack of pay*....EXCUSE ME! I pay every bill before due date!]
7. Go to power place to complain, turns out idiots cut the wrong power. "You gotta wait up to 24 hours to..." Me: HELL TO THE NO! YOU FUCKED UP YOU FIX! *power fixed within 10 minutes*.
8. Still gotta work, no time for lunch, will buy, just shower and go!
9. Mc Donalds...yaaaaaay......*machine bugs out and gets my order completely wrong*.......seriously?
10. WORK WORK WORK -_____________-
11. Going home, finally!
12. Now to eat something and relax and *lappy snaps in two* ARE YOU SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW!? I CAN'T AFFORD TO REPLACE THIS SHIT NOW!

Seriously....just.......W....T......F....is today.....someone fucking kill me x_x

I really need to learn to stop. Yet I don't. I try too much to be social and just have it blow up in my face.

It sucks, I really hate not being social, I enjoy the contact with people but every time I try I cause problems.

Yeah I think I am done trying. In general really. Those of ya that stuck around all the time who have attempted to keep contact with me, thank you, truly. But I'm throwing in the towel. I don't wanna hunt for friends or anything deeper anymore. I just suck too much at it. I know I shouldn't let it bleed over but it has, again, I'm too much a marshmallow.

Meh I'm just going in circles now. Point is I suck too much at trying to be social and having bonds and I'll just let myself slink into darkness like I should have a lot sooner.

It's not fear, it's pain, I've tried, a ton of times, and I just kept getting my face caved in.

I'm tired boss.

Fashion hurts T_T

Why do people like to stab their ears so much? T_T

I mean I like the looks, but man the healing process sucks xD

STOP TELLING ME I AM OLDER! I AM OLD ENOUGH THANK YOU! DX

*YEETS CAKE* NO!

*THROWS CONFETTI BOMB AT SINGERS* NO SINGING!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! *OOOOOOOOOOOLD*

Seriously.....like, it emotionally fucks me and I end up depressed for a while.....BUT IT'S A FUCKING DRUG @_@

....why am I acting like a pre-teen girl? ._.

In other news, I decided on something rather large.

I'm changing my sona!...wel....a little...

I've kinda fallen in love with the idea of bat wings, arm wing membranes. I was never too much a fan, so I was totally OK with the dragon wings since I am part dragon but....now?....Yeah I want bat wings. So....swap!.....too bad I'm too poor to get picture updates xD

You know, considering I've always tried being a friendly and charismatic guy and befriend everyone. I was always the last person to believe in "co-workers are not your friends" mentality. We are social creatures, we form bonds.

Boy was I WRONG!

I'm starting to understand why some people are just aggressively jaded. I mean, pot calling the kettle black there, I ain't one to talk, but this was one thing I was honestly shocked to find out.

So long story short I've been teaching the last two chapters of kids 2 books and it's all about clothing. Our school has a huge box of clothing to use for classes and make them more dynamic. The second chapter of it (the last one) is all about asking where clothes are.

I made it fun by hiding clothing all over the place and asking where it was and making the kiddoes search for it. Worked wonders.

Well I left the box of clothing in the class as I was going to use it still instead of putting it back because A. am not the tallest of bats and B. why go through the effort of going back and forth, ESPECIALLY when I know I am the only one teaching clothing currently and the only one in need of such realia to begin with.

Well nothing says fuck any semblance of bonds like passive aggressive bullshit on group chat. And today when I asked where they put it instead of saying "I dont know" they simply go "this is why you gotta put it back where it was!" and my reply was a proper backhanded comment of "I am the only one currently in need of that, I left it there as I knew I would still need it and would return it once I was done, now if you don't know where it is, I will continue to search."

Fuck people. Just fuck them. I am not taking a bullet for anyone, I am not helping anyone. I am getting my cash and cashing out. Fuck any semblance of fraternity in that school. I should have realized that when I had one day I had to teach literally days after my mother died because no one would step up and help but I was too grief stricken to properly analyze anything at the time, I was a real old dope with a huge "fuck me over" neon sign tattooed in my head. But to be fair, I was grieving.

Never trust anyone, never trust co-workers. They are not to be anything but used for work and nothing more.

Thanks for comming to my ted talk.

BUT HOLY FUCK YOU TRY TO NOT PET CAPYBARAS THAT ARE AT ARM'S LENGTH!

I have never been more frustrated in my goddamn life! There are so many critters at the park across from my work. I've never been IN the park before, just outside around it. I've seen capybaras but I have never gotten within arm's reach of them. There were also a ton of other animals like ducks, geese, several fishing birds, even a swan. I saw turtles too. And cats, SO many feral cats. Most were shy but I got to pet a little black lady that was part of the catch and release program since her ear was nipped. I woulda taken her home for sure if she had followed me like pudding did. Thankfully she didn't!

*exhausted from not being able to pet the friend shapped critters* @_@

However I unironically love that dumb banner. I love derpy things.

I had to leave my home of 7 years. Next month I was going to buy a place at the condo we lived, because both of us together could handle the finances. Now I am living in a hovel, a broken down poor house, 1/3 of the rent I paid but literally went from upper middle class to poverty line.

I am thankful for my brother in spite not liking him. I am still incredibly broken and lost. There are times I just go full catatonic just drowning in thoughts. I cried a river living my old home.

Now that I have settled somewhat down from moving, I am just...fucked.

Lemme tell you how my life went so you can understand my thoughts:

1. When I was a baby I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. My parents owned 5 schools. I lost it all at 10 due to them just spreading too fast and too thin and not being able to manage everything.

2. When this happened I moved to the states. I grew up there. I am American by raise. I may not have papers, especially not now with my mother's passing, but I am VERY much not Brazilian.

3. When I was 19, I was already out on my own, in a committed relationship....with a pedophile who just groomed me. Thankfully FBI (no joke) put a stop to that. They came knocking looking for him. Eventually I discovered, through the case, that he was a dealer.

4. I returned to Brazil literally over night. And I obsessively focused on going back. I was not Brazilian, I refused to be. I focused on my university and goign back as a nurse. Those were the most unstable years of my life.

5. By the time I finished college, my mother was first diagnosed with cancer. We moved, from where we were and where I had always been in Brazil to up here where I am now. Once more I found myself without a home and in a strange new enviroment.

6. I lived and worked as a nurse, not focusing on anything but survival for a year and wound up getting not one but two herniated backs while my mother fought and won cancer.

7. I started my career as an ESL teacher. And damn I am good at it, it's the only thing I can say I am proud of and continue to this day doing.

8. My father died suddenly in 2018 due to an accident. No one saw it coming, he left one morning and was gone an hour later.

9. We moved to the states, tried again to restart there, my sister was already a citizen, mom had a green card but it was no go. Especially with that cunt Trump. It's when I fully gave up on ever living there again. There is no point. That country is garbage, in spite loving it to death, it's simply a huge cancerous tumor in the face of the world.

10. After returning, we moved to this home I've been in for 6 long years until today. I had a lot and I mean a lot of ups and downs with jobs, mom going to and from to get her citizenship, covid, etc.

11. Last year her cancer returned. She fought it once more. Except this time it was incredibly aggressive and the original chemo simply did not work.

12. She stubbornly stayed here until she had to go to the states to not lose her green card, thank goodness she did. Because she was completely ignored here, they simply did not care to fix her. And there they did so much I can never ever complain. I am truly thankful for everything they did for her.

13. During this chaotic time, I started feeling independent for the first time in my life. I had plans to get my own place, which I was ironically going to get next month, and it especially hit hard because she nearly died twice. The first time, she was too weak to start treatment, yet she miraculously came back, after that.....I hoped. For the first time in my goddamn life I had HOPE.

14. And now she is gone. She beat the cancer alright. But the toll was too great and here we are.

For years, and I do mean that, I have been a depressive mess. I have BAD chronic depression and I mean BAD BAD, like I need to take SEVERE depression medication. Prozac doesn't even fuckign tickle me. Seriously, they started with that shit and within a month they decided to maximize the dose and it still wasn't enough.

I have always had a jaded view of life. Life is no joy, it is no happiness. Hell I can't even say I know what happiness IS. While others would say "oh I was happy and I didn't know!", all I say is "it was easier and now it's a mess".

That is how bad it is. Teaching is one of the very few things that bring me pleasure. It's my passion. And while that continues and will likely keep me going the fact of the matter is this:

I suck at making friends. I have literally one here where I live. One. In TEN YEARS living here, I made ONE friend.

I suck even worse at dating. Especially with the scene these days. Everyone just wants fuckfuckfuckfuck. Or they wanna cheat on their gf/wife to pretend they are straight like COWARDS.

Worse yet either you're masculine or a total f*g. No in between. It's honestly retarded. And it pisses me off.

I have, and always will be, an incredibly serious person, especially when it comes to relationships. I am demisexual. Without love, I feel ZERO desire for sex. None.

No one wants anything serious. No one cares. So I am stuck there too.

I literally have nothing to live for. As far as friends, they can live without me just fine. They aren't broken like me.

I have no lover who needs me.

Now I have no mother either. My father is also long gone.

I do not care for my siblings the same way. I never have. There is a humongous gap between us, 7 each. They have their own lives and families, they do not NEED me. I was never close to either of them for them to matter that much.

As far as my students. I am not the only teacher. I am A teacher. There are many, hell my school alone there are 15.

So....why do I live? What's the point? I have none.

Oh you can be happy by yourself! You can carve your own life, live how you want.

Yes, yes I can. And I have. And it's been awesome. But it never made me happy. It never brought me strong joy to make me feel it. Because remember, my depressive brain is VERY dull when it comes to happiness.

I got my wings ripped with this. And I don't know when I will be able to fly again. So that aspect of joy in my life is gone.

I have literally nothing in my life that keeps me going. Why do I live? Why bother?

I honestly do not know.

All I know is that I am far too much a coward to take my own life in normal ways. If I had access to a gun I woulda blown my own brains out years ago. Because I am too much a pussy for pain. It would need to be quick.

So.....I just....exist. For no reason. And I don't want to. I just don't care to. I am incapable of loving life for myself. I find that incredibly selfish.

SO.....long rant short....I am so fucked...plain and simple. I wanna die and I can't. And I have literally nothing to look forward to.

It was so fast. So sudden. I suppose when I said a week I was just being selfish and hopeful.

She is without pain now. And that is what matters.

Thank you all for your words. I just don't know how to digest everything or express everything as it should be but I did read them all.

She won. She kicked cancer's ass....but her body couldn't handle the sheer volume of, well, everything.

Her organs started failing 3 days ago. She has been put into hospice.

She has maybe a week at best.

I am...in pure shock, and fear.

I have no idea what I'll do now. I gotta move, find a new place, take everything. Classes have just started and I can't afford staying here......I am scared, really scared, and overwhelmed out of nowhere....*sigh*

Sometimes, you get a game that has songs that just go.....SO DAMN HARD....and I love them for it. Now of course if the game is made to go that hard, like say, Devil May Cry or pretty much every Final Fantasy ever, that is expected. It's when it's not supposed to that it catches you off guard that I love. I decided for fun to make a list of songs that fall under that category, so without further ado. Let the hardness begin!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Qd2qvP4mZY
Starting with the one that gave me the idea for it. Seriously wizardry is a balls to the wall hard game, like cruelly so. It's a dark dungeon crawler....so why is the battle song so...epic?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tp3qiOKuEBM
Everything is better with Guile's theme right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7-f8O7p0EA

WE Ys NOW BOYS!.....yeah when I first played this game, and I was already madly in love with this masterpiece, I got to the tower of twin dragons and my jaw just dropped. For those that do not know, Ys is my favorite Jrpg series, period. So when I heard this and my brain exploded into Ysgasms, I was a happy bat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFY_dCZCfYo

Now Ys may be my favorite jrpg series, but it's not my favorite game, quite literally, that mantle lands squarely on this gem right here....and this is THE FUCKING BATTLE SONG.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOzkzx1RKgw
My favorite SNES game, by far and my fav song in said game, by far. *too much a goth, of course is bat*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZOQ8sLO-vU

This game had no business going so damn hard....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUGDp39srk0

NO SERIOUSLY IT REALLY DIDN'T

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qypKG7MEqPI
This is one of those songs that just hype you for a game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcnyY3YLMA0
Here's another one that hypes you for it. A couple months ago, this song was stuck in my head FOR THREE DAYS STRAIGHT.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glx8Hy4MjAs
Baby bat was just O_O with this boss song. Like, I couldn't beat him, not because I was young, but because the music simply mesmerized me......CUTE MASCOT GAMES DON'T NEED TO GO THIS HARD!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7Fvalk31Kk
Now of course this series has always gone hard, but even by it's standards, this goes EXTRA hard xD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLhrSSw_4vU
OF COURSE I HAD TO INCLUDE THIS! I'MMA BAT!

I'm out of ideas for now. I know there are many more. These are the ones I can think of now. Let me know what others you can think of. But remember, it's better when the game ISN'T supposed to go hard but does anyways!

I've had vivid dreams for years. Side effect of my medication enhancing my already imaginative brain. Today I had one that I honestly don't know how to feel about it. Long story short it made me miss someone I knew a long time ago. But he was always just a friend and in my dream we became lovers.

Now I know for a fact that A. that wouldn't happen, he was straight and B. I don't know why I had such a dream or the reaction to it.

I felt really lonely, like hurt lonely. I know I'm lonely and I've accepted it so it doesn't really hurt. I haven't felt hurt lonely in years.

Worse yet I went to look him up and actually spent like 30 minutes trying to find him to no avail. No idea if he is even alive but I felt a feeling at the gut of my stomach saying he wasn't and that bothers me, a lot and I don't know why.

I wish I could understand what the hell is going on with this dream. It bothers me to no end because I am very good at analyzing dream, always have been. I know the feelings behind them. For example, losing teeth means not having any control over things that affect you and you are very worried about it.

Or how butterflies generally mean that you are going through a major life change or you want to do it and this is the end result.

Seriously, I love dream analytics. So it bothers me to no end that I cannot figure out just what the hell was up with my dream. It was just a silly "dark souls" dream in RL where we were trying to beat a "hard boss" and it all became a fricking yaoi and it made me lonely and sad and I just don't get it.

Ugh I hate my brain x_x

Cause I don't.

Yesterday mother had a cardiac arrest from chemo. She is fine now but in ICU again. Apparently she got another infection from no one knows where but with her immunity hella low due to treatment it's not surprising.

I am stuck with that one legged druggy still. I hate it so much. Like no words for it anymore.

Life has just beat me up so much I am tired. I am tired of trying. I am tired of living. I am tired emotionally, physically, everywhere.

So hope you have a lot of joy and happiness. Because I sure as hell don't. Not everyone is lucky for that and I got the short end of the stick and then some.

Yep. Long and short of it, I am abandoned.

I have no friends, no lover, nada.

Now I have to endure taking care of a person I absolutely despise because he is a legless cripple.

"Oh but he is your brother!".....no, he is not. I have no brother. He may share my blood but he is nothing but a criminal and a drug addict that finally had his fucked up past catch up to him.

"Oh you are doing such a good thing taking care of him!". No. I didn't choose it. I was literally going to work when my cunt of a mother called me and told me he was "staying for a couple of days" because he was nearly murdered and I can see why.

Now it's become "until he gets his next paycheck"....at the end of next month.

No, fuck that shit. I had no fucking say in any of it.

While I do not condone murder, I do at least understand why she went murder hobo and tried to kill him. He is insufferable.

I am very close to two things: deleting telegram and all social medias (no one talks to me anyways) and moving out, dropping all and everyone and let hell break loose.

As soon as my back heals (my hernia said hello) that is exactly what I will do. I will look for a cheap place I can afford and moving out.

I am deleting all family from my life. To my mother I have nothing but "sucker" tattooed to my forehead. And I am sick of it. And I am sick of her. Dying of cancer or not.

For the first time in my life I felt joy and happienss. Being alone made me happy. Not having to worry about anyone or anything was amazing to me. And she once again, didn't want to let her baby bird take off, and fucking threw a druggie rock at my wings.

Enough is enough.

Good morning! Breakfast is your mother and your druggy brother calling frantically for help because his psycho ex decided to kill him! :D

No I am not joking.

She tried to shank him in his sleep. He woke up, dodged, held the knife as she tried to stab so she took a plate and tried smashing his face, to which he blocked and cut up his hand.

What a fun day spending all fucking day at the police and stuff.....not -_-

And I had to teach and I have a ton of late homework and tests to grade.......UUUUUUUUUUUUGH

I don't drink but fuck I understand why some do!

Let's start from the top:

Mama bat is not dying anymore. I don't know how, no one knows how. She is a fucking walking miracle. She actually started chemo! And no fricking side effects either. Just wtf!

But no, let's talk today, because oh boy, today!

First thing: no sleep. Yep, zitch, this is gonna be a good Saturday....I can feel it.

Last cooking class = burgers, aka, I got free lunch, hurray.

Kids class = OH LOOK OUR FLUFFY BAT TEACHER IS HAIRY AF! LET'S WAX HIM WITH STICKERS! -_- *has several bald spots on arms and legs now*

Lunch = let's grade a million homeworks!
Oh boy did the funnies arrive!
"What do you think about banana?" Yes ai do.
No I shit you not, this kid made me scream out loud in frustration, alerting another teacher, who then consoled me when she saw how bad it was.
Another kid: She is wearing a T-shit. Me: *RAUCOUS CHAOTIC LAUGHTER!*.....*sends to teacher group*....not 3 seconds later *3 separate loud raucous chaotic laughter*
I also sent it to people on telly, to same results.

Last classes: Me: Why is _____ not here?
Friend: He is streaking!
Me: O_o wat....
Classmate: He is TRIPPING.
Me: WHAT! O_O (first time sounded like streaking, it got worse)
Him: He is on a trip! He is tripping!
Me; OOOOOOOOOH! *proceeds to explain that trip is a noun, not a verb, in this situation*.....*also tells him what he said* result: *CHAOS LAUGHTER*

Then break time for final class (it's a double class)
Classmate: Teacher someone wrote SOS in blood on the wall!
Me: W.....T......F *IMMEDIATELY goes checking*

Sure enough in all it's gory glory, mentrual blood finger paint........I sigh and take a picture and send to owner and just said it happened....AGAIN

No, I am not joking, this is the second time. I am just done with this shit at this point.

What a goddamn day @_@

In spite treatment being available...she is far too weak and the cancer got far too strong......she has 3 months at best.....I can't even think right now

Edit:....the papers have been signed. DNR. Hospice care.....I feel like a monster for explaining it to my sister....but I'll be damned if I let her suffer. I would rather live with the blood on my hands instead.

I feel like a murderer

it's been what, a couple of weeks? Had another break down just now, crying again. This is not normal, not for me.

I can't stand the dogs, they are just a chore. The house is constantly messy, I can't keep on top of cleaning it with how much I work.

I have a ridiculously high stress job with a literal narcissist, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, white supremacist nazi. No joke, she even married an equally fucked up actual GERMAN dude. Dude barely speaks PT and is terrible at it. That's how bad it is.

I have no relaxation at home because the dogs are filthy, making a mess everywhere, they have ero respect for space, at all. I have to give them attention because they are so hungry for it it just pisses me off more because again, it's just a fucking chore. I have no way TO relax, because either it's them being clingy shits, the house too filthy or a wonderful, and common, combination of both.

On top of that, I have been geting chest pains somewhat regularly now. Not surprised. Between so much stress, no time or energy to exercise, not that I want to anyways, I have ALWAYS hated it, it's the reason I'm fat, and not eating well because no time, nor energy nor desire to cook and zero ways to relax....yeah....it won't be long.

At this rate I won't last a year. A heart attack at my age is almost always fulminating (killer). I simply am not old enough to have enough anastomosis done (creation of new blood vessels) that when it gets clogged, that's it, game over. It kills a humongous chunk of my heart. That's why young folk die instantly from it and why old folk can have several strokes and stuff and not die or even, if at all, feel any side effects.

It's just such a lot of shit going on at once.

My mother's on a machine 24 hours. She cannot be without an O2 tank.

Like I told her not to dare return, ever again. She will be abandoned here again.

Her lung is completely taken over. It's not stage 4 but just about.

I've been so ridiculously lonely it's actually driving me insane. Haven't felt depression thoughts in years and here they come again.

I have no friends, no mate, nada nearby. At all. And even if I did, they all got their lives to worry about me.

Same for Telegram and in general. I barely know people. And telly is getting to the point it's just a chore. Because It's a chore to try and talk to people. No one ever does. And when they do it's a moment I do not want or cannot answer. And when I do, no one is around.

I'm actually considering shutting it down. No point when I got no friends anyways.

And to top it all off my dog charlie refuses to get along with my cat. I need to give pudding up because he just sees him as a toy.

Not aggressive, but like, he doesn't respect pudding. At all. Ever.

He has been scratched tons of time and still goes back for more. He is scared and still cannot ignore that stupid hunt instinct of his that makes him chase pudding and pudding is so nervous and terrified that today he puked from stress. That was the last straw that broke me.

I'm just worn thin. Too thin. I'm breaking.

Her entire lung is taken over. She is dying.

I have no words. My level of disgust broke me.

I hate everything right now

I'll keep it brief because the more I think about it, the worse it gets.

Yesterday my brother was rushed to get his leg amputated. He has bad cardiac insuficiency and cardiomegaly due to constant drug abuse. Personally I don't care about him at all, so that, while stressful (gotta do all the work of chasing after funeral stuff if he dies) that was not the worse.

No no no, the worse is 3 days after my mother goes to see sis in the states SHE gets rushed to the hospital herself. Same day.

Turns out being ignored by medical staff all the time because "your cough is cancer" and not check her out properly makes a sick old lady sicker, who knew?

She is being turned inside out with exams. She actually has a full lung of liquids because of a pneumonia that was not treated properly because the doctors here didn't believe she had anything but cough from cancer.

So now she is taking heavy antibiotics and having her cavity punctured and drained and actually being cared for!

And it only took going to AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT COUNTRY TO DO SO.

At the very least, she has medicare due to her age and having a green card so at the very least it's literally not going to cost anything.

So "free" healthcare that doesn't work at all or "look your next 43 generations will pay for your stubbed toe but we provide the best care in the world". You decide!

ugh -_-

Yay -_-

cat!

No, not joking. I literally got a cat at school.

In front of the school there is a huge park, full of capybaras and other critters and a huge wild population of feral cats that are trapped and re-released. Unfortunately a lot of people dump cats they no longer want there and that was the case with my lil dude. He was found today and like EVERYONE fell in love with him. The staff, the students. He could come by for pets and love and just sleep on you and biscuts gallore. DEFINITELY not a street/wild cat. There was no way I was leaving him behind. When I saw him and I went to say hello and he was hyper mega clingy to me, more then the rest? I was like no, fuck it, mine.

Took him in (well more like he let himself in lol) and he chilled with me all afternoon. At evening in my kids class, 9-11 year old kids, he chilled on the floor, everyone sat around him, we had a class on the floor. THE KIDS PICKED HIM UP and he gave no fucks. Yeah, definitely NOT a wild cat. And he was 100% abandoned because he was in rough shape. Not health, thankfully, just happened, but he had a couple of scratches from other wild feral cats that probably beat his dumb ass (seriously he is so sweet its stupid) and he was hella dirty and probably didn't know how to clean himself like an outside cat. Plus his nails were SUPER short, like trimmed super short. Someone definitely dumped him. We know the cats around that are pets too so we know he wasn't one of 'em.

So yeah, I have a cat now. His name is pudin btw, mama bat picked it!