hello yall its been a long time since i wrote anything in here of what has been going on... i hit a really really bad bout of depression agine and well things are going but there have been alot of down times. i broke off what i thought was a good friend shit with some one i really cared about, and that just made the woneds so deep that i wish i had killed my self. had many others that i thought where my friends and even family just out and out lie to me and try to play it off like they never said that or typed yet i have voice and txt logs. my mothers cuzent has been trying to drive a wadge between her and i so that his mentaly disabled 19 yo wife can have a mother image.... hes in his 60's by the way, him also accuseing me of preventing his computer from getting on the internet... (lmao he had another virus) as well as trying to tell me how a computer works...(unfortunately for him he caut me at a bat time and i snapped at the fucker, mom and dad where "he fucking desrved that" lmoa), how ever that fake smile i was whereing 90% of the time is slowly starting not to been needed i have meet some awesome new people who are also trying to help me feel better and wile the bad days are still here like tonight even thoue i am typeing this lol.... i guess its more of just a reminder to mr self more then any thing that one day i will feel more happier then sad and maby not even have a extreme low ever agine ^^ i know this may seem really confusing the way i phrase things here but it makes sence to me X3 and well even more posative sines to my self is that i acualy cleaned my apartment to the point of presidential agine ^^ even cooked a meal for my parents, to some it maby be a oh big deal but to me i feel really accomplished ^-^

well i think ill end it here for now and you never know i may put another thing up here some time soon agine.

hears hopeing to many more things of improvement


love yall *skitters around*