SO ok, now that I'm online again (funny enough, I posted that last journal like LOL HAI GAIS and then I get home that night and my desktop PC takes a crap. Unplugged everything, opened it up, smacked it like a bitch, closed it up, plugged it in, and it works again. WHO'S YOUR DADDY.)
The rundown of this year:
JANUARY-END OF FEBRUARY
-Epic drama and bipolar breakdown.
-Doctor puts me on enough meds to kill a horse. It's not very effective. But it's something.
-Take time off work, come back to work to find my desk moved and my boss has completely switched my units. I am no longer doing work that I actually love to do, as I was before; now I'm doing shit that I hate. Fantastic.
-I join the gym and proceed to go every single day for just about two hours a day, kick the shit out of myself, barely eat anything, and start looking real sexy real fast. And feeling good, too.
-Lots of drugs, booze, poor judgement and bad decisions. Party like a rock star? No. ROCK STARS PARTY LIKE ME. I regret almost nothing.
MARCH-END OF APRIL
-Enroll in school online. HOORAY! MAYBE I'LL FINISH MY DEGREE!
-Landlord comes back from Florida and goes "Oh lol btw I'm selling the house lol u guys gotta move by May 15th." My birthday is May 19th. FML.
-Breakdown #2.
-Dave and I start talking again. Yay! <3
-Due to apartment hunting (FOR WHICH I HAD NO GODDAMN HELP) and packing I had no time to actually TAKE the classes I signed up for. Stress x2.
-My cat Celes suddenly falls ill. Mom takes her to the vet. Vet calls back that night and says "I don't even think she'll make it through the night." Since this was out of nowhere and I was unprepared and already stressed like crazy, I was hysterical (she was my baby, one of my two birthday kittens when I was 17.) Take the following morning off, Celes made it through the night... go to the vet to say goodbye and hold her while they put her to sleep. I couldn't believe how sick she'd gotten so fast - she was literally yellow from jaundice, every last pink pawpad and skin underneath her white fur. Anyway, so... her brother thankfully is still healthy, he misses his sister but he's doing well.
-Get back to my apartment after putting Celes to sleep, stand outside in the rain for a few minutes to calm down. My landlord comes outside to check the gutters. I say hi. He asks what's wrong, I tell him "I just came back from putting my cat down." "Oh, that's such a shame... so how's the apartment hunt going?" ... excuse myself upstairs and weep for another two hours before I muster the energy to go to work.
-Find apartment I like. Have to fight tooth and nail and take a loan out of my retirement to get it.
-Close on apartment. Now the fun starts.
MAY
-Tell landlord STFU, you said May 15th, we don't CARE if your asshole brother says you should just throw us out by May 1st.
-Packing. Yelling at Rick for dragging his ass.
-Comes down to the wire and the apt STILL isn't packed. I'm drinking heavily. Rick's drinking heavily. I'm freaking out thinking he's going to end up in the hospital again because of HIS liver, still shaken up from the last time he got sick AND from my cat going through the liver failure thing. I drink even heavier to cope. Packing still isn't getting done.
-End up throwing every last goddamn thing I own haphazardly into boxes. It takes us three days to get shit out of there. May 18th we finally get everything into the new place.
-May 19th: I turn 30. ... surprisingly, there was no breakdown #3 involved.
-New York State is broke, TIME TO THREATEN LAYOFFS! AGAIN! Right after I've moved! YEAAAAAAAH TOAST!
-I'm still drinking heavily. So is Rick. I finally have breakdown #3 and scream at him until I can't breathe. He stops a week later.
-I get an IUD 'installed'. (Look it up, I'm not getting into details.) IT HURTS LIKE HOLY FUCKING HELL. I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU. HOLY HELL. It continues to hurt for the next three months. It still hurts NOW, but only every now and again... and apparently it might hurt for another few months. But oh holy Christ is it a weight off my chest.
-Stop going to the gym very often due to the pain, start gaining some flab back. ugh.
JUNE-JULY-AUGUST
-CSEA negotiates a contract. I still have no job security. But at least I know I won't get laid off JUST yet.
-Every time Dave and I attempt to go to the beach, something happens. It rains. My car literally breaks down en route (and thus we begin Parking Lot Con ™, wherein we broke out the sand chairs right in the parking lot next to my broke down car and started cracking into our beers.) He runs out of gas and Cliff Husky has to rescue us. Third time was the charm: after Cliff saved us, we filled the car up and turned around and went RIGHT the fuck back to the beach. Thus killed the curse.
-Karma comes back and says "Hey, you earned a break" and seems to smile on all my plans.
-Until I'm supposed to have my big BBQ. Forecast calls for Thunderstorms. Instead we get storms and nasty humidity that nearly chokes me. No problem, I have a rain date.
-Rain date happens to be when Tropical Fucker Irene rips through. FML.
-To boot: new apartment is right on the water. They call for my neighborhood to evacuate. I grab everything I cherish and either throw it into my car or up on top of the bed (which is on milk crates now), lock the doors, batten down the hatches, hop in the car and head inland for a motel.
-After the storm, we don't have power for six whole days. THAT shit sucked, but was kinda fun too.
-New York State is STILL broke, now they're going after my coworkers who are in a different union. Tentative contract is negotiated.
SEPTEMBER-OCTOBER
-Car breaks down again. Relatively cheap fix, she's up and running again and now over 250,000 miles.
-PEF - the other union - votes DOWN the contract. Three coworkers in my office are now staring up the ass of being laid off on November 4th. One just got divorced and will lose his house if he loses this job. You can imagine how awesome the job morale is. And on the other side, now people are looking at me angrily because I'm one of the two who WON'T get laid off just yet bc of the different unions. ... yay? MORE STRESS.
-Find kittens outside my building at work. Mother cat is caring for them. Keep an eye on them, leave food out for them. Going to trap them. Building manager finds them. They try to scare them off and instead scare them into the building. Building manager calls an exterminator, lies to me about what he's having done with them... suffice it to say they were destroyed. Humanely? I wish I could tell you. I'm really upset about it and don't really want to get into it.
-Realize "Oh fuck me, FurFright is coming." Take Ralph's unfinished head out of the closet, stare at him for a few days, then decide I'm going to buckle down and finish the little fuck if it kills me.
-Sweat, blood, tears and a finished fursuit head. (I made his tail last year. He still has no hands or feet. But whatever.)
-Realize oh God, I'm flabby as fuck, I NEED to get back into the gym.
-FurFright comes, and the weekend was great. Met a lot of awesome people, hung out with the awesome people I already knew, only had one major freakout, no hangovers, AND went hiking to a waterfall on the way home. ... and there's lots of embarrassing video footage of me. Please see appx 1:31 in, behind Pinkie-Pie, on the left:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv1Ly_ik8_w ... THERE WAS A LOT OF ALCOHOL INVOLVED GOD DAMMIT I SWEAR.
SO YEAH it's been a pretty shit-tacular year, but not without its good parts.
As far as art? I haven't picked up a goddamn pencil in eight months. Doodled a few things but that's it. The meds I'm on that keep me from turning into psycho bipolar Warzy also do a lot of damage to my creativity, but after all these months I'm starting to get it back. I'm able to write again, like a boss, which is good. I'm praying that I get my drawing spark back soon.
All my goddamn sketchbooks and watercolor pads and everything else are all still in boxes; I haven't finished unpacking. My anxiety is such that I don't unpack things until I'm ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN the apartment will work out and that I'm not getting thrown out by the landlords. As it happens, our landlords are an elderly Italian couple who bring us down home-made cookies every weekend and big bowls of whatever Josepina cooks up from the things that Andrea grows in his garden. I'm secure enough that I've finally started pulling things out of hibernation, so hopefully I'll find everything I own by December. Once I get that taken care of I can finish things and get them in the mail and go on my jolly way doing... I don't know what.
So in the meanwhile I doubt I'll be posting anything that isn't either scratchpaper doodles or tablet sketches. Possibly jewelry but even that's been mega on and off for awhile.
Annnddd now I have to run to CVS for MOAR DRUGS.
Commission Status: closed
Commission Agreement
Warzy's To-Do List:
-Watercolor for
kits5786 :
painting
-Watercolor for
xanthus :
refining
-Badge for
sulcharae :
complete
-Watercolor for
s0up :
brainstorming
-Watercolor for
tazrael :
brainstorming
-Watercolor for -private- :
brainstorming