Unrelated to the journal title, just these last couple years I've just re-evaluated what I think 'friendship' is. As far as having things in common with another person or to which you enjoy their company, hangout and do the things people just tend to do. Like hitting a resturant, a movie or hangout over at each other places. Friends come in all shapes, sizes and personalities but where exactly do you draw the line?

I tend to view friendship as a two way street and being of equal value. Aside from joking no put downs or using/abusing the other person but then you have sub-forms of what you think 'ideally' what a friend is like: aquaintence, the fellow you can handle only in small doses, one-way street guy and many others.

The problem I have with a lot of people is typically the one-way man as I like to call them. Some people have to work hard for cash while others have a better income or just were born in a more stable atmosphere, kids, teens, grown-ups whatever.

Now, usually the problem is when you tend to offer out goodwill, give away things for free, pay for someone's movie on a regular basis. Always seem to foot the resturant bill. Now when it comes to friends paying up is hardly a concern. Even if its the majority of the time, the thing about favours and goodwill is that you have a little 'extra' so you share it. However you do start to realize who exactly takes, takes, takes and never gives back. It isn't exactly 'expected' to recieve things back but sometimes it would be nice. Like paying 7 of 10 dinners and your friend catches the flack or pardons to pay their own at least.

It never seems to work out that way but I'm sure a few of you know what I mean when you start to feel like the person solely mooches off you time and time again on a consistant basis? Again not everyone has a ton of money to toss around but ONCE in awhile it'd be nice for them to be like, 'hey, let me grab it this time'. But if that person never antis up EVER? Movie, dinner... a glass of water at their place? Food etc etc it pretty much dawns on me, uhh, exactly how is this fair? Whelp, it isn't but that isn't going to end a friendship... or shouldn't UNLESS its just that bad and they only hangout with you when you're willing to pay of -everything!-

So, typically there are three ways to handle such a situation, the first and not so nice is to tell that person of and you never want to see or talk to them again. :>

Or the better alternative is to slowly phase them out of your every day activies, demoted to aquaintence perhaps?

Or the best alternative is to just start saying 'no' if they ask for money, you to cover their expenses and let them pay their own way or if they can't afford it start giving out cheaper or free choices in doing something else altogether.

Or lastly, number four--which never typically tends to work out; but you can attempt an explination and say what you're upset about it. Though from past experiences when you confront someone about being overtly 'mooching' off you they tend to get defensive and bitch about how you are now holding all those things or favours over them. In a sense I can see how they might see or feel it as such but you're just trying to point out that your friendship shouldn't be a one way road. And although you don't -expect- anything in return that they shouldn't abuse your good fortune like they have been. Or at the very least thank you for what you have contributed and say they'll just cover everything of their own from now on. At least that'd be somewhat tolerable or something to work with.




Meh, as usual, I seemed to have thought this out better in my head before attempting to write it all down. *snrk* Not to mention I know a lot of it seems 'jumbled' and I probably missed some important parts or clarification but whatever. Just wanted to get that off my chest. I might edit some parts or add to it maybe; depending if anyone comments or asks for a better explinations on anything.