Was just exploring a group when I found your post and read your poem. I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I have had a lot of troubles myself, and I know how hard it can be. I know I really don't even know you, but remember, I will be praying for you.

Jesus forgave even the men who put him on the cross, who beat him and condemned him. Even the worst criminal can find salvation and forgiveness for all they've done, no matter how bad.

I don't know if I understand your situation at all, but I've seen some terrible things done to my own family, but if I can forgive those people, and be forgiven by another human for my transgressions, than surely God's mercy is even greater than ours. He made you knowing what would happen, and so long as you make an honest change in your heart not to repeat your mistakes, and try, he will never stop loving and forgiving you, no matter what. I know this part very well, from experience and watching the effects on so many around me. As they say; Nothing is final until you are dead. As long as you draw breath, things can always get better. I learned this, as someone who survived five years of severe suicidal depression and many other mental issues, unable to get medical assistance, and having to tough it out on my own with my family. The manic states I was in that they had to help me through... That phrase kept me going not matter how I felt, about myself or about my situation in life, and I'm grateful for it, because I can now see how true it was. Because of forgiveness and hope for a better tomorrow, I was able to never give up. Because of that, countless people were able to overcome their chains.

Whatever you've done is not too big for God to overcome, don't give up on yourself! So allow me to give you a huge hug, and a prayer for your situation. *hug* Hold on, and don't give in to those lies that you can't be saved or pass to heaven, because God's mercy is eternal and no sin is too much. I'm open to talk if you ever need to, just shoot me a note! Please don't be discouraged if I take some time to reply though, I don't get the chance to write back as often as I would like. XD

(Also, sorry for giving you a novel here... I tend to say a lot when I open my mouth. ^^; lol)

Yep had that kind of misery before , those days where you screw up so bad and hurt so many people . Those days where you drive home and take off your seatbelt and try to find a nice solid tree to drive into at 70mph. Those days where its near despair cause you feel so unloved.

Sounds like your going to keep breathing and push through , sometimes that's the beginning of gods grace. Good luck and stay with it picking up that cross. Hope things get better for ya man

"For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whomever believes in Him SHALL have eternal life." - John 3:16 (emphasis mine)

It's the most quoted verse in the Bible for a reason; it means the most wicked soul on earth still has hope, as long as he/she draws breath. In that same vein, my personal favorite is:

"All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, but are justified by His grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." - Romans 3:23-24

PM me if you'd like to talk more. :) I'll be praying for you regardless, brother.

Hello Librios...

I can definitely understand going through crap in life, or just getting that heavy feeling of unworthyness, but... so long as you are living and breathing, it isn't too late to understand what God did for us through Jesus, and turn your life around. It isn't always so easy, but... if you feel in your heart you know what is right, then you would be doing a great disservice to God and yourself to ignore that. I feel like the forces of evil want to plant doubts and insecurities in us to keep us from our full potential in Christ... we have to be strong and tell those evils that we don't have time for all that. Life is a struggle, a battle, and sadly, I feel a minority of us shall be with the Lord after all this is done. You seem to have conscious, conviction, and an inner desire to be on the winning team... don't let any doubts or weird feelings keep you down from what you know to be right and true.

This is a battle I deal with myself... I've been saved for... a long time now, but I've let the world and its destructive nature get to me to an extent over the years, so now I face doubts and concerns about the future (things one should not do). It is tough to understand a grace that is well beyond grace that we often show one another here on Earth. I'm not sure it is a grace and love we could fully fathom while in this life, we just have to know its there in the fashion that it is, for God and the Son are the pure good that we cannot be (despite many attempts by mankind). But like I said... you are living... it isn't too late... in a world of "quit when stuff gets difficult", it is tough to persevere or feel like "you can". Don't let all the whining and giving up and so many thinking themselves stupid or failures pull you down into the swirling and draining and sucking motions that eat up everything. I pray you find encouragement and strength to get past all the bad that is pulling you down.

If the dark is just a thought
Then the light is in your mind
The lies we tell ourselves
Will ruin the world with time

Did you feel the way I felt
Did you kneel the way I knelt
Or did you look up and stare
Waiting for your acts of prayer

Won't you listen to reason.
Will you open your eyes
It's a wonder what you'll find with an open mind
You might be surprised