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High School Drama-Chapter 5- When will we meet again?
HEllo guys! Here's part 5 of High School Drama! Before I start, i want to apologize for taking too long on this part. It seems like I have less time on the computer recently, but i think i have that fixed now. Plus, I've been doing artwork of my own reccently.
CHAPTER SELECTION: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5227085/
btw.... COMMENT ALREADY!!!! please? i need to know if you think i should improve or not! just please.... comment. thank you. This is for people(which is everybody) who doesnt comment anything of mine. =>.<=
High School Drama
Chapter 5: When will we meet again?
Tony and the butlers arrived home at 7:30pm, the time when the sun sets for night. The butlers escorted Tony to the mansion. As soon as they went inside, all butlers offered Tony either drinks, such as soda or water, and snacks, such as chips or candy. Tony asked for a bag of chips and a soda, and the butlers went to get it. As they left, Tony escorted himself to his room.
Tony entered his room, looking tired. He looked down at his shirt, to noticed a few pawpad shaped dirt spots on it, from when Manny and Darry was foot torturing him. Tony took off that shirt, put on a black hoodie instead(which looked exactly the same as his shirt he had on) , and tossed the shirt into a laundry basket. He layed on his bed, looking straight up at a picture he drew, and placed on the ceiling. The picture contained his father, his mother, and himself when he was a kid, before tragedy struck the small family. At the sight of the picture, Tony's eyes was begging to fill with tears of sadness. He missed his parents so much.
Tony's father was killed by a cruel macro who viscously stepped on him. His blood covered spot was where they had a funeral for him. He is now a ghost who protects Tony and the butlers with all his might as a ghost. He currently lives in the basement of the mansion.
Tony's mother was depressed at the fact her loving husband was dead. Tony was sad to, but wanted to cheer up his mother, by buying her a paid trip on a cruise around the world. She left on the trip, but by the time she was supposed to be back, she never came back. The ship is currently stuck at an unknown place of the world. No one could ever find the ship. She was never seen in person again. The ship ironically has Internet and cell service, so she is able to communicate with her son, but for 8 years, she has been living in the ship.
Tony's tears started to run down his cheeks remembering those awful memories. He never had a hug or kiss from any of them. Tony felt unprotected, even though he knows he has guards to protect him.
Suddenly, Tony heard knocking coming from his door. He opened it, and it turned out to be a butler and his requested snack. He took his food, closed the door, and ate his chips, getting a few teardrops on the bag.
A few minutes later, Tony was done with his chips and soda. He threw them away. Suddenly, his cell phone was ringing, it was his mother calling. He answered it.
“Hi mom” he said to his mom,Monna, through the phone. “Hi sweetie! How are you?” replied Monna with a warm tone. “I'm fine, but I miss you and dad so such” “I know sweetie, I miss you too, and im sure your father does too.” Monna could hear her son crying through the phone. “Aww, honey. Dont cry.” said the supporting and loving Monna. “I cant. I miss you so much” replied her crying and depressed son in between tears. “aww, sweetie. I promise, as soon as this ship comes back, I promise, I will go straight to you, and I'll hold you, for comfort, and love” replied Monna. “Promise?” asked Tony. “Promise” replied Monna. “I got to go now. Be good for Mommmy, okay?” said Monna “Okay” said Tony as she hung up her phone. Tony covered his face as he cried to his mother's voice and words. He loved his mom so much.
In was now 9:30pm. Tony is now showered, dressed in pajamas, and ready for bed. He pulled the covers of his bed, got inside, and put them on him. He clapped his hands twice to turn the lights off. The room is now pitch dark, the only light provided is the moon itself.
TO BE CONTINUED
...I know it's a little short, but oh well. *shrugs* What are you goona do about it. it's also sad too. i almost cried making this. =T.T=
Hope you enjoyed and COMMENT PLEASE!!!!
thank you
CHAPTER SELECTION: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5227085/
btw.... COMMENT ALREADY!!!! please? i need to know if you think i should improve or not! just please.... comment. thank you. This is for people(which is everybody) who doesnt comment anything of mine. =>.<=
High School Drama
Chapter 5: When will we meet again?
Tony and the butlers arrived home at 7:30pm, the time when the sun sets for night. The butlers escorted Tony to the mansion. As soon as they went inside, all butlers offered Tony either drinks, such as soda or water, and snacks, such as chips or candy. Tony asked for a bag of chips and a soda, and the butlers went to get it. As they left, Tony escorted himself to his room.
Tony entered his room, looking tired. He looked down at his shirt, to noticed a few pawpad shaped dirt spots on it, from when Manny and Darry was foot torturing him. Tony took off that shirt, put on a black hoodie instead(which looked exactly the same as his shirt he had on) , and tossed the shirt into a laundry basket. He layed on his bed, looking straight up at a picture he drew, and placed on the ceiling. The picture contained his father, his mother, and himself when he was a kid, before tragedy struck the small family. At the sight of the picture, Tony's eyes was begging to fill with tears of sadness. He missed his parents so much.
Tony's father was killed by a cruel macro who viscously stepped on him. His blood covered spot was where they had a funeral for him. He is now a ghost who protects Tony and the butlers with all his might as a ghost. He currently lives in the basement of the mansion.
Tony's mother was depressed at the fact her loving husband was dead. Tony was sad to, but wanted to cheer up his mother, by buying her a paid trip on a cruise around the world. She left on the trip, but by the time she was supposed to be back, she never came back. The ship is currently stuck at an unknown place of the world. No one could ever find the ship. She was never seen in person again. The ship ironically has Internet and cell service, so she is able to communicate with her son, but for 8 years, she has been living in the ship.
Tony's tears started to run down his cheeks remembering those awful memories. He never had a hug or kiss from any of them. Tony felt unprotected, even though he knows he has guards to protect him.
Suddenly, Tony heard knocking coming from his door. He opened it, and it turned out to be a butler and his requested snack. He took his food, closed the door, and ate his chips, getting a few teardrops on the bag.
A few minutes later, Tony was done with his chips and soda. He threw them away. Suddenly, his cell phone was ringing, it was his mother calling. He answered it.
“Hi mom” he said to his mom,Monna, through the phone. “Hi sweetie! How are you?” replied Monna with a warm tone. “I'm fine, but I miss you and dad so such” “I know sweetie, I miss you too, and im sure your father does too.” Monna could hear her son crying through the phone. “Aww, honey. Dont cry.” said the supporting and loving Monna. “I cant. I miss you so much” replied her crying and depressed son in between tears. “aww, sweetie. I promise, as soon as this ship comes back, I promise, I will go straight to you, and I'll hold you, for comfort, and love” replied Monna. “Promise?” asked Tony. “Promise” replied Monna. “I got to go now. Be good for Mommmy, okay?” said Monna “Okay” said Tony as she hung up her phone. Tony covered his face as he cried to his mother's voice and words. He loved his mom so much.
In was now 9:30pm. Tony is now showered, dressed in pajamas, and ready for bed. He pulled the covers of his bed, got inside, and put them on him. He clapped his hands twice to turn the lights off. The room is now pitch dark, the only light provided is the moon itself.
TO BE CONTINUED
...I know it's a little short, but oh well. *shrugs* What are you goona do about it. it's also sad too. i almost cried making this. =T.T=
Hope you enjoyed and COMMENT PLEASE!!!!
thank you
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 21.6 kB
Just one sentence that bothers me grammatically after the 1st paragraph (please bear with me)
"Tony entered his room, looking tired. He looked down at his shirt"
Since you introduced yourself on the last sentence of the 1st paragraph, the beginning of the 2nd paragraph should start with "he" instead. If I recorrect the sentence I think this would be a better way of beginning that paragraph,
"He entered his room, looking tired, then looked down at his shirt..."
Correct me if I'm wrong :D
"Tony entered his room, looking tired. He looked down at his shirt"
Since you introduced yourself on the last sentence of the 1st paragraph, the beginning of the 2nd paragraph should start with "he" instead. If I recorrect the sentence I think this would be a better way of beginning that paragraph,
"He entered his room, looking tired, then looked down at his shirt..."
Correct me if I'm wrong :D
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