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Bartok the Magnificent! (Remake) Part 1
This is my really huge project for this year, (And unlike previous larger story arc, this one will be finished by this same year at least! ) and this one is a re-telling of the Animated movie "Bartok the Magnificent"!
This is a very largely changed up version from the movie, with characters, story element, and the over all tone and message is changed!
This is only part one, but it is already larger then several parts of my older works!
Link to part 2: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19844717/
Link to part 3: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20222196/
Link to part 4: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22154183/
Link to part 5: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25911693/
I am hoping to also post these things once a month and by the second part you will all get to see how Bartok's first adventure will go.
All characters in it (Except for the 1 or 2 that I made up so far) belongs to Don Bluth in original.
"A long time ago in the magical kingdom of Parone ruled a young queen named Ludmilla on the throne. Before her it had been her parents that had been in charge, but due to a very unfortunate travelling when visiting another kingdom they had both died, and suddenly their 20 year old daughter was the one to rule everything!
She had been trained since childhood for this moment (And even been giving her own same aged bodyguard named Markus when being only 6 years old), but given the age she got when suddenly having the queen title things was not expected to go so well.
It didn't take long for the young adult to get more then a little bit spoiled by her position, and after only a few weeks of ruling to put the whole kingdom into a state of hunger and poverty!
But as long as Ludmilla had both her always supported and trusty Marcus by her side she thought that she was doing a good job, while completely oblivious to the complete opposite happening just outside of her domains.
For it wasn't things like Food, Water, or even Money that was amongst was she cared about the most.
It was beauty and not just any beauty, but magical beauty that legends told about!
There was a tale about how by collecting three very special ingredients one could make a brew that would release the inner beauty of the one who drinks it, and being more then a few times worried that she already now as starting to look old Ludmilla had naturally put most of her royal army to use for collecting these ingredients.
This however was not as easy as one would think as the legend also talked about how each one of them was guarded by a very difficult tried, so difficult in fact that when the queen even sent a small army for it none of them could ever succeed.
These trials really made the queen upset as the key to inner beauty was almost in her reach! She had been studying books on what other ingredients would be needed for it, how much of each of one, how long to have the brew cooking, and even the very exact temperature for it to have while it was cooking!
So to not have these three very important final parts to make it happen was driving her mad to no end!
All she was wishing for was to one day drink that potion and let everyone in the kingdom (And other kingdoms)t to see "The Real Ludmilla", and it seems like that day would be arriving very soon..."
Inside the mighty castle Ludmilla was sitting at her throne and putting her hand close to her forehead as she saw another solider enter the room.
Just like many soldiers before him (And most likely after him as well.) he was looking very injured and humiliated from whatever mission he had been at.
"Let me guess, you also failed getting the object?" Ludmilla asked, and the solider just nodded in response to that.
Sighing loudly over this Ludmilla just waved for the man to leave the throne room, as she herself continued getting annoyed over the constant failures she was facing.
"It's really unbelievable when you think about it. We know how the items looks like. We know exactly where they are hidden. And yet we still can't get any of them, no matter how hard we try or how many soldiers I send to retrieve it!" She was complaining to her life long guard and protector Markus, who only responded with "Yes. It is a truly embarrassing achievement indeed, my queen."
"I mean how can we not even get one, ONE of these three things?! Is that really so much to ask for?!" Ludmilla whined as another man made his entrance to the throne room.
"And what do you want?! Can't you see I'm busy?!" Ludmilla shouted to the guy, who said (while a little bit nervous) that he was "The Spokesperson for the Villages", and that he was "Arriving with the Daily List of Complains and Suggestions from the People".
He then unrolled a list that was about 10 times as long as him, and read up stuff like "The newly built tower expansion of the castle that was blocking the natural riverside", "The increased raise of taxes to found the castle armies" and "Being an overall not to focused queen" amongst the complaints.
Ludmilla of course responded to this by telling the man to "Scram!", before sitting back in her seat and feeling very low again.
"If it isn't one thing, then it is another." She mumbled to herself.
Seeing his queen being in such a bad mood Markus suggested that "Maybe a tour in through the city would make you feel better?", and Ludmilla had to admit being outside and get some fresh air would do her good.
Few moments later Ludmilla and Markus was travelling down the streets of Parone in the Royal Chariot, but despite the change of scenery the queen still couldn't fully let go of her problems.
"Still having troubles letting go of your thoughts, my queen?" Marcus asked, to wish Ludmilla just nodded and said "I just don't get it! If no soldiers or army is suppose to be able to retrieve these items, then who is suppose to? Who is suppose to be the one?!"
Gathering up some courage to speak Markus got up from his seat (just so that he could then get down on his one knee) and said with great passion "My queen. I who has been serving you for almost all of my life and always been there to protect you, begs for your permission to let myself go out on these quests and do what many men before me has failed. Let me be the one to gather the sacred ingredients back to you!"
Ludmilla was first very surprised by his sudden speech, but then started to burst out laughing at him!
"What's so funny my queen? Here I am, offering you my greatest serving yet, and you reply to me with such mockery?!" Markus asked who (despite knowing fully well that a man in his position had no right to complain to his royal ruler) felt very insulted by his queen's response over his noble gesture of sacrificing.
"I am laughing cause I know you Markus, and I can't simply see you managing to pull off such a heroic and superhuman thing all by yourself." Ludmilla explained.
This only served to make Markus even more upset as he asked "And what exactly makes you think that?"
Ludmilla simply smirked as she said "Remember that time in the royal garden when we where only 8 years old?"
"Yeah...So what?" Markus asked, pretending to not know what she was talking about. (Despite knowing fully well.)
"Do you also remember who claimed that he could jump over the moat and over to the other side?" Ludmilla asked, to which Markus had nothing other to reply with then "Me."
"And remember who was it that had to save your life when you ended up almost drowning in it instead?" Ludmilla asked, to which a very defeated Markus just mumbled "You." as he sat back down next to her again.
"I'm just saying that if you needed my help with getting saved from a moat, then what chances would you have going all alone on a dangerous mission?" Ludmilla asked, as she did enjoy at times playfully burst these bubbles Markus had about himself being "The Greatest Knight in all of Parone!".
"But if I'm not the one meant for this mission, then who is?" Markus then asked.
Just at that moment they both got distracted from their discussion by what sounded like...Singing? And looking outside of the left window they could see that on the village square a minor performance show was going on.
I said minor cause the guy performing everything on stage was a small albino bat named Bartok, and his acts seemed to mostly be about himself.
Him telling grand tales that was larger then life about how he (an only he alone!) had been in battles with Dragons, Cyclopes, Witches and much more! (And with the help of Smoke & Mirrors and other effects he made the stories come much more alive to the audience, and making them buy it more.
And while the common peasants of Parone was believing fully in the stories untold by the bat, Ludmilla and Markus was not so easily tricked.
"Shall I order the guards to force this bat and his ridiculous show away from the streets?" Markus asked as he was about to order the guards that was with them to do just that when Ludmilla decided to stop him and say, "No. Just let him do his thing."
Being understandably confused by her decision Markus asked "Are you actually saying that you are liking this performance?!", as he pointed out to show how Bartok was fooling the crowd to think that he was lifting wrecking ball at 5 tons. (When it was in reality a very badly painted balloon.)
"In one way, yes." Ludmilla said as she saw Bartok run across the stage before suddenly stumbling over himself and land on his face! He was then quickly back up again and continued on his act (like if nothing had happen) and Ludmilla added, "He would make a good jester, as his foolishness would do very well to entertain me."
Looking back at Markus she could see that he still seemed to be in those "Heroic" thoughts, and if she didn't want to risk having him go out and kill himself then she simply had to let that horrible fate happen to someone else.
Hearing once again that loud voice of Bartok as he was asking the audience to give him some kind of great challenge to really prove himself the queen smiled as she said "I think I have a very grand one for you, Bartok the Magnificent."
As the white bat was collecting all the money he had been able to get from tips after his performance (Which was a pretty respectable amount for a street artist like him), when he suddenly saw how a royal guard had walked up to him.
"Oh dear!" Bartok thought to himself before trying to play it cool for the guard.
"Hey there. You might think that I am not allowed to be performing out here, but I have actually been asking for permission and I have got it right here...maybe not on me, but I have it probably somewhere in my wagon. (But it is kinda messy in there, so it can be pretty hard to find.) I can pay you, would that be okay? Paying a guard to let me perform here, or would that be classified as illegal? Am I breaking the law just by asking you?! I don't know! I-I-I...I am probably making all of this worse for myself aren't I?" Bartok rambled until he finally shout his mouth and hoped that the guard would have been having a completely blackout during this whole minute he had just been speaking.
And while the Guard had been listening to everything the bat had said, he decided to not waste his time trying to analyse every single word in it and just go to his own business.
"I am here to inform you that Queen Ludmilla has been personally inviting you come to her castle at exactly 18:00." The guard said, to which Bartok got both very surprised and honoured to hear.
"I-I have been invited by an royalty?" He asked as if thinking that he was dreaming, and the guard simply said "Yes. Yes she has."
"But what is it about? Am I suppose to put up a special show for her? What kind of props and stories should I pick? Shall I pick the one about the great Monorian Fire that I single-handedly put out, or that time when I slayed the feared Dragon from Hugany?" Bartok asked as he was quickly pulling up a notepad and pen, and started to write down all the things he was saying, until the guard put one of his strong hands over the book and said "Just be there 18:00." before leaving.
"So...I guess the Dragon it is? Right?" Bartok asked as he was now left by himself, all to ponder over what kind of events would be waiting for him now.
Later at the castle Bartok was pretty amazed over how big and luxurious everything was!
During his time as a performer he would be lucky if he got to be able to both act AND sleep at a tavern one night, and now he was inside of a royal palace!
Still the fact that he had no idea to why he was here was still haunting him, and as he made his way towards the throne room all he could do was to try and remember at least one of his stories well in case the royalties would be asking for some entertainment.
Entering the room and seeing her sitting there made Bartok gulp of nervousness!
(And it didn't get any better when he saw the Markus next to her, that really didn't seem to like the bat's presence here.)
"I have heard that you are the one they are calling "Bartok the Magnificent", am I correct?" Queen Ludmilla asked, and Bartok just gave his most honest "Yes, that's true." as an answer.
"And it tells mighty tales about you. How you have defeated monsters and found treasures, if I am not mistaken?" Ludmilla then asked, to which Bartok quickly said "Oh yes indeed. In fact are you interested in hearing about the Horrible Hugany Dragon, and how I slayed it?"
"Actually I was more interested in if you where willing to make a new adventure to tell people about later?" Ludmilla suggested, which made the bat a little unsure about where this was going.
"I take it that you are familiar with the stories about "The Three Ingredients", that once all collected can bring the one drinking it their "True Inner Beauty"?" The queen asked, to which Bartok said "Oh yes, I have. And the tales tells about how incredbily difficult and dangerous it is for anyone to try get any of them."
"Which is why I now am asking You to get them for me." Ludmilla then suddenly said, making Bartok want to clean his big ears in the hopes that he had been mistaken.
"Y-You want m-me to do it?!" He asked while shaking with fear, and Ludmilla just put her hands together in typical villain way and said "I thought you where known for being one of the bravest adventures of all time. Or was that perhaps a lie?"
"Well...It sorta...I mean..." Bartok stalled as he tried his hardest to explain himself, but that's when Ludmilla cut him off by saying "If you where just to be a fake then I would have to make sure everyone in Parone would know this. (Plus the people in the nearby kingdoms also of course.)"
This changed the game rules completely for Bartok, as if everyone know he was just "all talk and no action" then he would be ruined! He was already struggling pretty hard to earn enough money live on what he was doing, and having most of his audience stop coming would be almost like a death sentence to him!
(All of the sudden he wasn't quite sure which of the two alternatives would be the one with a LESS deadly outcome!)
"So what will it be Bartok? Are you a hero or not?" Ludmilla asked, and as the pressure got turned up to 11 the small bat realised that he had either everything to lose, or possibly (But not likely at all) to walk out unharmed in this.
So he decided to finally say "Okay...I'll do as you, the queen wishes me to do." and then made even a little bow to impress her majesty.
"Excellent! Let me tell you about your first mission. It is to retrieve the "Fuar Rose" that grow somewhere in the blistering "Sneh Mountains"!" Ludmilla announced before Markus filled in by saying "But don't think walking up there will be a breeze, as there is many men stronger then you that has ended up lost in the constant blizzards that these mountains has, and they have NEVER been seen again!"
Feeling a lot less happy with his choice now Bartok knew that there was no way he could say no or try to escape (As that would result in ending either his reputation, or his life!), so he just had to try and keep a good smile as he left the room and not show his true fears until he had closed that door behind him.
"What have I said Yes to now?!!!" He then screamed out once outside of the castle walls.
Walking away from the Royal castle Bartok felt like he had just been giving himself a death sentence and was currently taking one last walk towards what would probably be his final resting place. (The Snow storming mountains.)
He had no idea if he was actually able to do any of the things that 100s of other had failed, but he wished he just had someone that could at least believe in him.
That's when he heard how someone was calling his name, and from a few feet away he saw a small tent that was put up.
Walking up to the entrance of the tent Bartok could see that inside sat a very old looking lady, and she seemed to be staring a lot into a crystal ball.
"How do you know my name?" He asked curiously, and the elderly lady said that she knew this (and everything else) because she was a "Fortune Teller!"
"And how do I know that you can really predict the future?" Bartok asked suspiciously, (As for all he knew the old lady could have just heard some of the stories about him.) and she returned his question by saying "If you really think that I know nothing about what's to come then you don't need to move to the side in 3, 2, 1!"
And as she was counting down Bartok did in fact get a bit unsure about what might happen to him, and he started to look around for any dangers nearby. As she reached counting down to 1 he looked up and saw how a flower pot was heading down towards him! (And given his small size that flower pot was about as large as he was!)
At the very last second he tossed himself aside as the flower pot smashed down right at where he had been standing before!
From above a voice from a window could be heard saying "Ops! Sorry for that!", and looking back at the old fortune telling lady she just gave herself a pat on the back and said "Never been wrong and never will be either."
"Okay lady. I believe you fully now." Bartok said as he got himself up and entered her tent.
Once inside he started asking her what she wanted with him in the first place, and the old lady said that "You seemed to not believe in yourself at the moment, and I simply wanted to show you some support."
"But...if you can see into the future then maybe you can help me find a way to get out of this?" Bartok asked, to which the old wise lady asked back "How do you mean?"
"I have only known this queen for about 20 minutes, but she is clearly bad news! She just wants this potion for her own selfish needs, and I frankly can't really see why it is worth me risking my wings over helping her get what she wants. Is there any way I can get out of this fine?" Bartok asked, hoping for some really good advices.
"To make it end happily and well for all of you involved..." The old lady said first in a very overly-dramatically way, before then suddenly saying "...you do exactly as the queen wishes for, and let her make the potion."
Bartok had been prepared to hear some weird advice from her, but not this!
"So you are telling me that I should just risk my life and give the villain exactly what she wants?!" Bartok asked perplexed, and the fortune teller said "Pretty Much."
"Okay then...If you say so." Bartok said as he started to leave the tent, and feeling kinda tricked by his predictions.
"Believe me! When it finally happen you will fully understand!" The fortune lady shouted as the bat hero went back on his journey.
He had a very deadly obstacle a head of him, and if he survived that then there would be two more waiting for him.
"Well...this could have got better for me." Bartok thought to himself.
This is a very largely changed up version from the movie, with characters, story element, and the over all tone and message is changed!
This is only part one, but it is already larger then several parts of my older works!
Link to part 2: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19844717/
Link to part 3: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20222196/
Link to part 4: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22154183/
Link to part 5: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25911693/
I am hoping to also post these things once a month and by the second part you will all get to see how Bartok's first adventure will go.
All characters in it (Except for the 1 or 2 that I made up so far) belongs to Don Bluth in original.
"A long time ago in the magical kingdom of Parone ruled a young queen named Ludmilla on the throne. Before her it had been her parents that had been in charge, but due to a very unfortunate travelling when visiting another kingdom they had both died, and suddenly their 20 year old daughter was the one to rule everything!
She had been trained since childhood for this moment (And even been giving her own same aged bodyguard named Markus when being only 6 years old), but given the age she got when suddenly having the queen title things was not expected to go so well.
It didn't take long for the young adult to get more then a little bit spoiled by her position, and after only a few weeks of ruling to put the whole kingdom into a state of hunger and poverty!
But as long as Ludmilla had both her always supported and trusty Marcus by her side she thought that she was doing a good job, while completely oblivious to the complete opposite happening just outside of her domains.
For it wasn't things like Food, Water, or even Money that was amongst was she cared about the most.
It was beauty and not just any beauty, but magical beauty that legends told about!
There was a tale about how by collecting three very special ingredients one could make a brew that would release the inner beauty of the one who drinks it, and being more then a few times worried that she already now as starting to look old Ludmilla had naturally put most of her royal army to use for collecting these ingredients.
This however was not as easy as one would think as the legend also talked about how each one of them was guarded by a very difficult tried, so difficult in fact that when the queen even sent a small army for it none of them could ever succeed.
These trials really made the queen upset as the key to inner beauty was almost in her reach! She had been studying books on what other ingredients would be needed for it, how much of each of one, how long to have the brew cooking, and even the very exact temperature for it to have while it was cooking!
So to not have these three very important final parts to make it happen was driving her mad to no end!
All she was wishing for was to one day drink that potion and let everyone in the kingdom (And other kingdoms)t to see "The Real Ludmilla", and it seems like that day would be arriving very soon..."
Inside the mighty castle Ludmilla was sitting at her throne and putting her hand close to her forehead as she saw another solider enter the room.
Just like many soldiers before him (And most likely after him as well.) he was looking very injured and humiliated from whatever mission he had been at.
"Let me guess, you also failed getting the object?" Ludmilla asked, and the solider just nodded in response to that.
Sighing loudly over this Ludmilla just waved for the man to leave the throne room, as she herself continued getting annoyed over the constant failures she was facing.
"It's really unbelievable when you think about it. We know how the items looks like. We know exactly where they are hidden. And yet we still can't get any of them, no matter how hard we try or how many soldiers I send to retrieve it!" She was complaining to her life long guard and protector Markus, who only responded with "Yes. It is a truly embarrassing achievement indeed, my queen."
"I mean how can we not even get one, ONE of these three things?! Is that really so much to ask for?!" Ludmilla whined as another man made his entrance to the throne room.
"And what do you want?! Can't you see I'm busy?!" Ludmilla shouted to the guy, who said (while a little bit nervous) that he was "The Spokesperson for the Villages", and that he was "Arriving with the Daily List of Complains and Suggestions from the People".
He then unrolled a list that was about 10 times as long as him, and read up stuff like "The newly built tower expansion of the castle that was blocking the natural riverside", "The increased raise of taxes to found the castle armies" and "Being an overall not to focused queen" amongst the complaints.
Ludmilla of course responded to this by telling the man to "Scram!", before sitting back in her seat and feeling very low again.
"If it isn't one thing, then it is another." She mumbled to herself.
Seeing his queen being in such a bad mood Markus suggested that "Maybe a tour in through the city would make you feel better?", and Ludmilla had to admit being outside and get some fresh air would do her good.
Few moments later Ludmilla and Markus was travelling down the streets of Parone in the Royal Chariot, but despite the change of scenery the queen still couldn't fully let go of her problems.
"Still having troubles letting go of your thoughts, my queen?" Marcus asked, to wish Ludmilla just nodded and said "I just don't get it! If no soldiers or army is suppose to be able to retrieve these items, then who is suppose to? Who is suppose to be the one?!"
Gathering up some courage to speak Markus got up from his seat (just so that he could then get down on his one knee) and said with great passion "My queen. I who has been serving you for almost all of my life and always been there to protect you, begs for your permission to let myself go out on these quests and do what many men before me has failed. Let me be the one to gather the sacred ingredients back to you!"
Ludmilla was first very surprised by his sudden speech, but then started to burst out laughing at him!
"What's so funny my queen? Here I am, offering you my greatest serving yet, and you reply to me with such mockery?!" Markus asked who (despite knowing fully well that a man in his position had no right to complain to his royal ruler) felt very insulted by his queen's response over his noble gesture of sacrificing.
"I am laughing cause I know you Markus, and I can't simply see you managing to pull off such a heroic and superhuman thing all by yourself." Ludmilla explained.
This only served to make Markus even more upset as he asked "And what exactly makes you think that?"
Ludmilla simply smirked as she said "Remember that time in the royal garden when we where only 8 years old?"
"Yeah...So what?" Markus asked, pretending to not know what she was talking about. (Despite knowing fully well.)
"Do you also remember who claimed that he could jump over the moat and over to the other side?" Ludmilla asked, to which Markus had nothing other to reply with then "Me."
"And remember who was it that had to save your life when you ended up almost drowning in it instead?" Ludmilla asked, to which a very defeated Markus just mumbled "You." as he sat back down next to her again.
"I'm just saying that if you needed my help with getting saved from a moat, then what chances would you have going all alone on a dangerous mission?" Ludmilla asked, as she did enjoy at times playfully burst these bubbles Markus had about himself being "The Greatest Knight in all of Parone!".
"But if I'm not the one meant for this mission, then who is?" Markus then asked.
Just at that moment they both got distracted from their discussion by what sounded like...Singing? And looking outside of the left window they could see that on the village square a minor performance show was going on.
I said minor cause the guy performing everything on stage was a small albino bat named Bartok, and his acts seemed to mostly be about himself.
Him telling grand tales that was larger then life about how he (an only he alone!) had been in battles with Dragons, Cyclopes, Witches and much more! (And with the help of Smoke & Mirrors and other effects he made the stories come much more alive to the audience, and making them buy it more.
And while the common peasants of Parone was believing fully in the stories untold by the bat, Ludmilla and Markus was not so easily tricked.
"Shall I order the guards to force this bat and his ridiculous show away from the streets?" Markus asked as he was about to order the guards that was with them to do just that when Ludmilla decided to stop him and say, "No. Just let him do his thing."
Being understandably confused by her decision Markus asked "Are you actually saying that you are liking this performance?!", as he pointed out to show how Bartok was fooling the crowd to think that he was lifting wrecking ball at 5 tons. (When it was in reality a very badly painted balloon.)
"In one way, yes." Ludmilla said as she saw Bartok run across the stage before suddenly stumbling over himself and land on his face! He was then quickly back up again and continued on his act (like if nothing had happen) and Ludmilla added, "He would make a good jester, as his foolishness would do very well to entertain me."
Looking back at Markus she could see that he still seemed to be in those "Heroic" thoughts, and if she didn't want to risk having him go out and kill himself then she simply had to let that horrible fate happen to someone else.
Hearing once again that loud voice of Bartok as he was asking the audience to give him some kind of great challenge to really prove himself the queen smiled as she said "I think I have a very grand one for you, Bartok the Magnificent."
As the white bat was collecting all the money he had been able to get from tips after his performance (Which was a pretty respectable amount for a street artist like him), when he suddenly saw how a royal guard had walked up to him.
"Oh dear!" Bartok thought to himself before trying to play it cool for the guard.
"Hey there. You might think that I am not allowed to be performing out here, but I have actually been asking for permission and I have got it right here...maybe not on me, but I have it probably somewhere in my wagon. (But it is kinda messy in there, so it can be pretty hard to find.) I can pay you, would that be okay? Paying a guard to let me perform here, or would that be classified as illegal? Am I breaking the law just by asking you?! I don't know! I-I-I...I am probably making all of this worse for myself aren't I?" Bartok rambled until he finally shout his mouth and hoped that the guard would have been having a completely blackout during this whole minute he had just been speaking.
And while the Guard had been listening to everything the bat had said, he decided to not waste his time trying to analyse every single word in it and just go to his own business.
"I am here to inform you that Queen Ludmilla has been personally inviting you come to her castle at exactly 18:00." The guard said, to which Bartok got both very surprised and honoured to hear.
"I-I have been invited by an royalty?" He asked as if thinking that he was dreaming, and the guard simply said "Yes. Yes she has."
"But what is it about? Am I suppose to put up a special show for her? What kind of props and stories should I pick? Shall I pick the one about the great Monorian Fire that I single-handedly put out, or that time when I slayed the feared Dragon from Hugany?" Bartok asked as he was quickly pulling up a notepad and pen, and started to write down all the things he was saying, until the guard put one of his strong hands over the book and said "Just be there 18:00." before leaving.
"So...I guess the Dragon it is? Right?" Bartok asked as he was now left by himself, all to ponder over what kind of events would be waiting for him now.
Later at the castle Bartok was pretty amazed over how big and luxurious everything was!
During his time as a performer he would be lucky if he got to be able to both act AND sleep at a tavern one night, and now he was inside of a royal palace!
Still the fact that he had no idea to why he was here was still haunting him, and as he made his way towards the throne room all he could do was to try and remember at least one of his stories well in case the royalties would be asking for some entertainment.
Entering the room and seeing her sitting there made Bartok gulp of nervousness!
(And it didn't get any better when he saw the Markus next to her, that really didn't seem to like the bat's presence here.)
"I have heard that you are the one they are calling "Bartok the Magnificent", am I correct?" Queen Ludmilla asked, and Bartok just gave his most honest "Yes, that's true." as an answer.
"And it tells mighty tales about you. How you have defeated monsters and found treasures, if I am not mistaken?" Ludmilla then asked, to which Bartok quickly said "Oh yes indeed. In fact are you interested in hearing about the Horrible Hugany Dragon, and how I slayed it?"
"Actually I was more interested in if you where willing to make a new adventure to tell people about later?" Ludmilla suggested, which made the bat a little unsure about where this was going.
"I take it that you are familiar with the stories about "The Three Ingredients", that once all collected can bring the one drinking it their "True Inner Beauty"?" The queen asked, to which Bartok said "Oh yes, I have. And the tales tells about how incredbily difficult and dangerous it is for anyone to try get any of them."
"Which is why I now am asking You to get them for me." Ludmilla then suddenly said, making Bartok want to clean his big ears in the hopes that he had been mistaken.
"Y-You want m-me to do it?!" He asked while shaking with fear, and Ludmilla just put her hands together in typical villain way and said "I thought you where known for being one of the bravest adventures of all time. Or was that perhaps a lie?"
"Well...It sorta...I mean..." Bartok stalled as he tried his hardest to explain himself, but that's when Ludmilla cut him off by saying "If you where just to be a fake then I would have to make sure everyone in Parone would know this. (Plus the people in the nearby kingdoms also of course.)"
This changed the game rules completely for Bartok, as if everyone know he was just "all talk and no action" then he would be ruined! He was already struggling pretty hard to earn enough money live on what he was doing, and having most of his audience stop coming would be almost like a death sentence to him!
(All of the sudden he wasn't quite sure which of the two alternatives would be the one with a LESS deadly outcome!)
"So what will it be Bartok? Are you a hero or not?" Ludmilla asked, and as the pressure got turned up to 11 the small bat realised that he had either everything to lose, or possibly (But not likely at all) to walk out unharmed in this.
So he decided to finally say "Okay...I'll do as you, the queen wishes me to do." and then made even a little bow to impress her majesty.
"Excellent! Let me tell you about your first mission. It is to retrieve the "Fuar Rose" that grow somewhere in the blistering "Sneh Mountains"!" Ludmilla announced before Markus filled in by saying "But don't think walking up there will be a breeze, as there is many men stronger then you that has ended up lost in the constant blizzards that these mountains has, and they have NEVER been seen again!"
Feeling a lot less happy with his choice now Bartok knew that there was no way he could say no or try to escape (As that would result in ending either his reputation, or his life!), so he just had to try and keep a good smile as he left the room and not show his true fears until he had closed that door behind him.
"What have I said Yes to now?!!!" He then screamed out once outside of the castle walls.
Walking away from the Royal castle Bartok felt like he had just been giving himself a death sentence and was currently taking one last walk towards what would probably be his final resting place. (The Snow storming mountains.)
He had no idea if he was actually able to do any of the things that 100s of other had failed, but he wished he just had someone that could at least believe in him.
That's when he heard how someone was calling his name, and from a few feet away he saw a small tent that was put up.
Walking up to the entrance of the tent Bartok could see that inside sat a very old looking lady, and she seemed to be staring a lot into a crystal ball.
"How do you know my name?" He asked curiously, and the elderly lady said that she knew this (and everything else) because she was a "Fortune Teller!"
"And how do I know that you can really predict the future?" Bartok asked suspiciously, (As for all he knew the old lady could have just heard some of the stories about him.) and she returned his question by saying "If you really think that I know nothing about what's to come then you don't need to move to the side in 3, 2, 1!"
And as she was counting down Bartok did in fact get a bit unsure about what might happen to him, and he started to look around for any dangers nearby. As she reached counting down to 1 he looked up and saw how a flower pot was heading down towards him! (And given his small size that flower pot was about as large as he was!)
At the very last second he tossed himself aside as the flower pot smashed down right at where he had been standing before!
From above a voice from a window could be heard saying "Ops! Sorry for that!", and looking back at the old fortune telling lady she just gave herself a pat on the back and said "Never been wrong and never will be either."
"Okay lady. I believe you fully now." Bartok said as he got himself up and entered her tent.
Once inside he started asking her what she wanted with him in the first place, and the old lady said that "You seemed to not believe in yourself at the moment, and I simply wanted to show you some support."
"But...if you can see into the future then maybe you can help me find a way to get out of this?" Bartok asked, to which the old wise lady asked back "How do you mean?"
"I have only known this queen for about 20 minutes, but she is clearly bad news! She just wants this potion for her own selfish needs, and I frankly can't really see why it is worth me risking my wings over helping her get what she wants. Is there any way I can get out of this fine?" Bartok asked, hoping for some really good advices.
"To make it end happily and well for all of you involved..." The old lady said first in a very overly-dramatically way, before then suddenly saying "...you do exactly as the queen wishes for, and let her make the potion."
Bartok had been prepared to hear some weird advice from her, but not this!
"So you are telling me that I should just risk my life and give the villain exactly what she wants?!" Bartok asked perplexed, and the fortune teller said "Pretty Much."
"Okay then...If you say so." Bartok said as he started to leave the tent, and feeling kinda tricked by his predictions.
"Believe me! When it finally happen you will fully understand!" The fortune lady shouted as the bat hero went back on his journey.
He had a very deadly obstacle a head of him, and if he survived that then there would be two more waiting for him.
"Well...this could have got better for me." Bartok thought to himself.
Category Story / All
Species Bat
Size 82 x 120px
File Size 54 kB
Listed in Folders
Well there are quite a few, that adversely affect the flow of the writing.
Even so, still able to see what's happening.
For this chapter though, I can see the alterations to the main story well: Ludmilla being the Legitimate Ruler of her Boundaries as opposed to simply seeking to usurp the Throne; Already being aware of what she desperately desires, if not correct (possibly) in how it could affect her; it seems there's someone she's capable of caring about other than just herself at this time; and displaying a notable ability to plan and prepare, if having issues with regards to patience.
All in all, at this point in time, I'd say it's a very good starting point.
Even so, still able to see what's happening.
For this chapter though, I can see the alterations to the main story well: Ludmilla being the Legitimate Ruler of her Boundaries as opposed to simply seeking to usurp the Throne; Already being aware of what she desperately desires, if not correct (possibly) in how it could affect her; it seems there's someone she's capable of caring about other than just herself at this time; and displaying a notable ability to plan and prepare, if having issues with regards to patience.
All in all, at this point in time, I'd say it's a very good starting point.
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