Mine was 10 MS word pages long. Too long? Eek! :D The ending was indeed rather chilling, but the overall feel of it was rather nice actually, and you captured the younger character's energy well. Funny thing, we both picked young characters by the name of Thomas. o.O

Oh no way? I'm going to have to read your submission then. That's freaky coinkydink.

too huge? Man you must really be plagued by the TL;DR crowd. Though granted I will put off things that are too long to read in 10 minutes or less until I can devote more time to reading it all in one go. So I see your point.

TL;DR? And yeah, that's my point. If I can't read it in 10 minutes or so, I have trouble making myself read the entirety of someone else's work. I do put the effort in for the Thursday prompt at least. ^_^

I guess there's no hope of you reading my stuff then. My stuff tends to be at least 10 pages long depending on how much effort I put into it. The most recent thing I have (haven't posted it yet) is about 7 pages long. But really it's only the first part of a short series I plan on writing and completing.

Well, I shall attempt a read at least. That much I can promise. I am trying to explore everywhere and meet new people on this site.

Cool. I'm doing the same thing. That's why I'm trying to do the prompt. Though I've really behind. I'm still doing one for "the list".

Short, and good. Makes me want to finish the story or fins out what happens next.

I am planning on trying to continue this. My Canadian Kitten demands it to be so. xD

Doens't need it though, that is the beauty of it, and that is the reason I faved it, but sure! Continue away

Well thank you very much indeed, and I shall continue!

Ooh, the horror. Very nice little twist. The story is really short, but very capturing, I was enchanted while I read it. Very good, just a everyday incident and then something a bit more sinister. Blood red crayon. Nice touch. Nice little piece, I enjoyed reading this. Good work.

Oh......yes. That ended just the right way, I was beginning to worry that the kid would be taken in and it'd be one of those happy ending nonsense type stories, but no, this was great. Why's it always the kids, eh? *chuckles*

All in all, nice character dynamics, though I think it would have been nice to read a little more to see what was where the map lead, other than the ghost/zombie/monster boy. : )

Well, when inspiration hits me I hope you come back over to see the rest of this. I haven't done horror before so I'm kinda treading into the unknown. Zombie stuff doesn't seem like horror to me. XD

Anyways, I'm hoping there will be more. I got such a positive response to this it seems a crime not to continue.

Haha, I have to confess, when I saw Dawn of the Dead, I was laughing nearly the whole way through it.

now that was just awesome... welcome to the prompt hun... and well done...

V.

Woah! That one creeped me the hell out! ... I must read more! lol

I really like this! It's suspenseful and touching at the same time. It makes me wonder if the mother is really in the derelict building. Well, I'm about to find out! See ya in part 2!

Whoa... creepy indeed. As innocent as kids are... playing with that innocence just wreaks havoc in a story.

It's very short, precise, and to the point. The segue at the end is a little abrupt, but it seems appropriate enough. I think the main thing that gets me is that the kid basically disappears from his mind on the way up to work. Intentional or not, the sort of *poof* *un-poof* feel is strange.

Still looks good though. Good job.

It wasn't really that he disappeared from his mind, but I just kinda cut to him sitting down in the office. I didn't think anyone wanted to read about his commute. XD

But thanks for the input, it's very appreciated. ^_^

No problem.

Incidentally, the difference between *poof*-ish story and not is the single "the child was on his mind all the way to work" sentence, or the explicit "he didn't think about the child all the way to work" sentence... it's the lack of that sentence entirely that I thought made it abrupt.

Sorry, thought that needed in.

Oh, all right. I see what you mean. The cut between scenes was a bit jarring because it didn't feel like they fit together that well... I see I see... *nods* Very helpful. ^_^