She's such a troublemaker. That's why we love her.

awesome. Very easy to read, weell done.

Ah, how I laughed. Nice little mix. Mortals and deities and little not planned problem... very well written, I laughed out loud several times. These pieces telling about the life of this family of gods and goddesses is rather charming, you have written a few as Thursday Prompt responses.

"My little apocalypse is finally growing up"

Just where do you get to read a line like that! Pure comedy. Very well done, I enjoyed reading this. Great short story.

I enjoyed the humor in this, and the concept. Dealing with a little - or not so little - godling? And the way she acted, wanting to hurry the "boring" parts along, is priceless, just what a kid would do.

Definitely a laugh. There was a water goddess I was fortunate enough to have a character alongside, and she was kinda like Okamitsune... but smaller. It was quite a lot better in your hands, I think.

I know this is probably something written for gits and shiggles but I hope this is helpful:

Your first sentence didn't have a 'to be' verb in it, always an excellent start in my opinion. That being said, I have some conflicts about the way some of your details are constructed, mainly being in your second sentence or paragraph, you use three 'to be' verbs where you could take a shot at constructing some more engaging detail. For instance "Some of the newer tribesmen, who had not been present at the last Ceremony of the Creators ten years ago, were surprised." could be transformed to "Some of the newer tribesmen, who had not been present at the last Ceremony of the Creators ten years ago, gasped and their jaws dropped as their eyes nervously dotted about." (At least that's what I understood 'surprised' to mean.)

This is where the mega debatable aesthetics come in I suppose. Can't say I was a fan of Sunny, while the overarching idea of her character might be along a playful and maturing personality I can appreciate, the foil that was supposed to be Udja didn't really manifest itself to counter that leaving an unbalanced pair of characters. In the end I felt Udja ended up rewarding her for the catastrophically wrong actions and selling her out in others. But before that I didn't really feel like I was primed to consider him a wiseman and the 'go to guy' of the ceremony other than just being the defacto leader of the ceremony, a little more character detail or set up could have been used to flesh him out just right. One instance I found particularly disturbing was the handling of the quarreling tribesmen where she not only discarded the grievances of Dinar but proceeded to scrap tribe law entirely. What ramifications would that have on Dinar? Not only did she call him a fool for getting upset over a deer that quite possibly belonged to him but she treated him as a disdainful child and tossed his complaints out like they didn't even matter. That's a serious blow to not only him but the laws of the tribe entirely, if there's a structure of laws and governances then it is her duty to know and understand them and to use her incredible massive powers to survey the situation and deliver a fair judgment; to which Udja should know that and should have used his position to counsel Sunny in the proper action. Instead, he does nothing allowing her to call the entire year long and heated affair trivial and threaten to use brute force to end the discussion. That very act could be detrimental to the very pride of Dinar which combined with the dissolving of tribal law and the demonstration that might makes right, just might lead Dinar to believing that the only way to handle his problems is through brute force alone, causing him to rebel against both Sunny and the tribe as a whole and possibly lead a civil war against his fellow tribesmen. Yet where she receives her rebuke is for her behavior during the trivial traditional beginnings of the ceremony, that's she's perfectly fine to mold her own way. I understand this may be a coming of age story, but as I read it, what I saw was how things will end badly.

That's not to discount the story overall. At times, Sunny was charming and you really wanted to pull for her. Some of your descriptions are pretty fun. Images of what would otherwise be considered wholy misshapen characters are great when they're used to portray supernatural or other worldly/godly figures. When it comes to the stories of 'gods,' I always enjoy the ones where the youngest are beginning to understand their role in the world and how interconnected everything is. I also found it pretty goofy that the parents had a sit down session with their daughter and the point man. Anyway, I hope what I said helps. Keep those fingers writing.

Um... Wow. That was... Disturbingly in-depth.

Your first sentence didn't have a 'to be' verb in it, always an excellent start in my opinion.
I have a lot of trouble with starting off, but then again I think most people do- I felt that the sort of hit-the-ground-running element added to the chaos of Sunny's sudden appearance.

That being said, I have some conflicts about the way some of your details are constructed, mainly being in your second sentence or paragraph, you use three 'to be' verbs where you could take a shot at constructing some more engaging detail. For instance "Some of the newer tribesmen, who had not been present at the last Ceremony of the Creators ten years ago, were surprised." could be transformed to "Some of the newer tribesmen, who had not been present at the last Ceremony of the Creators ten years ago, gasped and their jaws dropped as their eyes nervously dotted about." (At least that's what I understood 'surprised' to mean.)
I think you may have just pointed out what's been bothering me about my writing recently- repetitive application of 'to be' verbs. This is something I'll need to be on the lookout for in the future.

This is where the mega debatable aesthetics come in I suppose. Can't say I was a fan of Sunny, while the overarching idea of her character might be along a playful and maturing personality I can appreciate, the foil that was supposed to be Udja didn't really manifest itself to counter that leaving an unbalanced pair of characters. In the end I felt Udja ended up rewarding her for the catastrophically wrong actions and selling her out in others.
You're correct- I let Sunny get away with quite a bit for no real reason other than the fact that she was the primary character. In her defense, her actions here were a big step up from her usual total immaturity, and she was certainly still in trouble with her parents- just not quite as much. But yes, I sent a very poor moral message here.

But before that I didn't really feel like I was primed to consider him a wiseman and the 'go to guy' of the ceremony other than just being the defacto leader of the ceremony, a little more character detail or set up could have been used to flesh him out just right.
I wasn't trying to pass him off as a wiseman, just as a pastor-ish guy doing his job. If you got that impression, I've done something wrong. Sorry.

One instance I found particularly disturbing was the handling of the quarreling tribesmen where she not only discarded the grievances of Dinar but proceeded to scrap tribe law entirely.
I'd imagined the society to be at a tribal level, where the deer should have been considered not to 'belong' to anyone, at least not until moment of death, regardless of location. For all anyone knew, the deer might have been born and spent its entire life on Traag's land, then decided to take a quick stroll onto Rindar's one day and been killed there. The specific situation was a sort of gray area where the laws weren't specific enough- a proper deity would have pointed out the real issue, ordered a clarification, and done their best to leave both parties satisfied (or at least grudgingly acceptant), but Sunny is hardly proper.

What ramifications would that have on Dinar? Not only did she call him a fool for getting upset over a deer that quite possibly belonged to him but she treated him as a disdainful child and tossed his complaints out like they didn't even matter.
She insulted both Traag and Rindar fairly equally, in my opinion. Both were overconfident and selfish in their interpretation of laws which were unclear. And the dispute had developed out of an issue which was no longer relevant- although the fact that it could develop into such a big conflict indicates that there were probably underlying issues in the society which, again, a 'proper' God/Goddess would have noticed and attempted to deal with, instead of merely treating symptoms.

That's a serious blow to not only him but the laws of the tribe entirely, if there's a structure of laws and governances then it is her duty to know and understand them and to use her incredible massive powers to survey the situation and deliver a fair judgment; to which Udja should know that and should have used his position to counsel Sunny in the proper action. Instead, he does nothing allowing her to call the entire year long and heated affair trivial and threaten to use brute force to end the discussion.
Mistakes like this are one of the reasons Sunny is still a Goddess-in-training. She wasn't meant to seem like someone who knew what she was doing.

That very act could be detrimental to the very pride of Dinar which combined with the dissolving of tribal law and the demonstration that might makes right, just might lead Dinar to believing that the only way to handle his problems is through brute force alone, causing him to rebel against both Sunny and the tribe as a whole and possibly lead a civil war against his fellow tribesmen.
She appeared to the tribe as a giant half-canine several times the size of the largest geological formation in the entire area. She is the daughter of the multi-dimensional entities who created their world, and who are literal embodiments of creation and destruction. If Traag or Rindar decided that the only rule is 'might makes right,' they would still have to admit that the mightiest beings around were the Æsir.

Yet where she receives her rebuke is for her behavior during the trivial traditional beginnings of the ceremony, that's she's perfectly fine to mold her own way.
I'd intended the 'Recitation of Hallowed Decrees' to conjure up images of the Ten Commandments- important rules to help people make good decisions in life. Skipping them was an additional reminder about how little attention she'd paid to what should have been her primary goal: helping the society advance towards a higher level of civilization.

I understand this may be a coming of age story, but as I read it, what I saw was how things will end badly.
I wasn't trying to do a 'coming of age' story, just a weird little comedy of sorts. I can definitely see how someone could get the wrong idea, and now that I think about it, I find it very worrying. Hm.

That's not to discount the story overall. At times, Sunny was charming and you really wanted to pull for her. Some of your descriptions are pretty fun. Images of what would otherwise be considered wholy misshapen characters are great when they're used to portray supernatural or other worldly/godly figures.
Fenris tends to keep himself as 'normal' as he can manage. Inari is more likely to tread the line, but she generally won't flaunt her abilities unless she's trying to have some fun (she is a kitsune, after all). Sunny just loves showing off too much for anyone's good.

Anyway, I hope what I said helps. Keep those fingers writing.
It has, thanks! I'll do my best.

P.S. "Gits and shiggles" may well be the funniest phrase I've heard all week.

Well written and pretty enjoyable, I dug your story.

I didn't quite get what Monolith did from the character of Udja as a wise man. He seemed to be to be kind of a goofball and I read the whole story as a comedy of errors, which seems to be more of what you were going for. I think that the story might have been more effective if he was a little wiser and a little less snarky, but as it was intended to be light and comedy, I can't really say it didn't come off fine.

Overall, I dug it, good work!

Very nice story. It had me chuckling throughout the entire thing.

I have to say that Okamitsune is my type of goddess too. It would be nice to have one that likes to skip past all those parts of a ceremony.

she's hilarious xD

Okamitsune is definitely fun to work with. Thanks!

I would love to meet her myself I'd tell you that, she'd probably make me laugh all day long

The Aesir should meet the Feluran pantheon sometime. They aren't as all-powerful as your lot, but they are pleasantly disfunctional. A calm, stabilizing grandmother, a grandfather that makes Fenris look as safe as a day-old puppy, a dad with the attention span of a goldfish, a mother who has to keep a cork in her snatch, and a son who is still trying to learn how to judge souls. Who knows, Neku of the Hand might be a good match for Sunny

I think I will have to investigate this family... Might take me a bit to get around to it, but you've definitely got my interest!

Heh, poor planet. They certainly weren't expecting her. That said I'm not sure, given any amount of time, a planet could plan for the arrival of Okamitsune.

There have been attempts, but so far she's managed to consistently confuse the heck out of everyone she meets!

nice story, found it via stampy ^^

But anyways i love the entire concept itself, so creative. And I like how Udja first decides to make her life a living hell with her parents, and later decide to cut her some slack. although personally, i think the wise udja shoulda just told the full truth

Thank you! I really should give this story a once-over and clean it up a bit.