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This is a story I'm writing up and I appreciate feedback. It is not furry but is fantasy based, and most people have liked it. I started writing it because some friends of mine wanted me to play D&D. They soon gave up on having me join when my back story was 10 pages and growing, so while I have not played D&D it did inspire me to begin writing a book. This is the opening to the book which can be presented on it's own as a short story. I hope you enjoy it, and I will post more later.
Category Story / All
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Size 50 x 50px
File Size 23.5 kB
:3 heya - Anabelle here. I just read your story over and I wanted to give you some feedback!
First off; its so far pretty interesting, and it definitely kept my attention. The plot is interesting and original, and so far I really like it; looks like you've got strong, interesting characters and an interesting love-triangle thing developing.
My only real problem with it is that it reads like a plot outline with a lot of details. I'd suggest you slow down, and really put in more dialogue, and more description of how things are played out, what the surroundings look like and that sort of thing. I'd love to hear a little more about the assassin as well.
First off; its so far pretty interesting, and it definitely kept my attention. The plot is interesting and original, and so far I really like it; looks like you've got strong, interesting characters and an interesting love-triangle thing developing.
My only real problem with it is that it reads like a plot outline with a lot of details. I'd suggest you slow down, and really put in more dialogue, and more description of how things are played out, what the surroundings look like and that sort of thing. I'd love to hear a little more about the assassin as well.
Thanks Truro!!! as i said I started it out as D&D backstory. The later parts that begin her travels are slower and more detailed with lots of talking. It's still pretty unedited, but I think the end form will still have this scene rushed like in a nightmare since she really recreates the scene over and over during her travels. The people who have read it loved how fast paced the opening was, so after I finish the book I'll try to keep the feel. I will be posting more soon and thanks for encouraging my writing!!! a little later when she has her first nightmare people usually get so much happier about how it started. I'll add the next chapters soon!!!
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