this is not anthro in any way,
that is why I didn't post any of it at first.
I am posting it now because It is a big part of what I am now. One of the things I do which is important to me, so something my friends need to know about.
people don't read longish stories on here much so for now I will post only this one chapter, but if anyone wants more, just ask. There's plenty more where this came form.
the story is at this point a series of about 15 interrelated books covering about 4 generations of time on ...um...about 6 different planets and a space station.
THIS BOOK is book one of the first trilogy of the series. the first trilogy is called Destiny of Dreams and this Book is currently called "the Son Of Desmond Harris" although I doubt it will still be called that by the time it gets published, which won't be soon.
oh and the preview image is Jason Scott-Harris, a reference picture I drew to show length of hair and scars at different time. the second picture from the left is how he looks at this time. but I forgot how small previews are here so here's a link to the big enough to see version on DA
http://jadisofeternity.deviantart.c.....rris-148989296
a friend on DA, BloodRoseAngel, drew a commission picture of Jason and Harris for me, at a later point in the story, here's a link to it on DA;
http://BloodRoseAngel.deviantart.co.....rris-143569102
it's got the blue moon Aissis and the turtle shell guitar and everything :D
Oh hey and here's a reference of Sylvia I drew: http://jadisofeternity.deviantart.c.....lvia-149713530
that is why I didn't post any of it at first.
I am posting it now because It is a big part of what I am now. One of the things I do which is important to me, so something my friends need to know about.
people don't read longish stories on here much so for now I will post only this one chapter, but if anyone wants more, just ask. There's plenty more where this came form.
the story is at this point a series of about 15 interrelated books covering about 4 generations of time on ...um...about 6 different planets and a space station.
THIS BOOK is book one of the first trilogy of the series. the first trilogy is called Destiny of Dreams and this Book is currently called "the Son Of Desmond Harris" although I doubt it will still be called that by the time it gets published, which won't be soon.
oh and the preview image is Jason Scott-Harris, a reference picture I drew to show length of hair and scars at different time. the second picture from the left is how he looks at this time. but I forgot how small previews are here so here's a link to the big enough to see version on DA
http://jadisofeternity.deviantart.c.....rris-148989296
a friend on DA, BloodRoseAngel, drew a commission picture of Jason and Harris for me, at a later point in the story, here's a link to it on DA;
http://BloodRoseAngel.deviantart.co.....rris-143569102
it's got the blue moon Aissis and the turtle shell guitar and everything :D
Oh hey and here's a reference of Sylvia I drew: http://jadisofeternity.deviantart.c.....lvia-149713530
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 34px
File Size 38 kB
Thank you.
In looking at this chapter now after I posted it, I see defects I didn't notice before and I'm thinking of doing a major re-write on the first several chapters at some point, to make it clearer and more active, less full of exposition and thoughts, and less confusing...
So any feedback would be very welcome at this time. Can you tell me a thing or two that you liked about it and an thing of two that you don't like about it? Especially like to hear what readers don't like, so I can make corrections to those parts. I'm a very positive person, and I know what is going to happen, so it's hard for me to notice the confusing parts and the boring parts in my writing.
I will post chapter two. And maybe chapter 3.
In looking at this chapter now after I posted it, I see defects I didn't notice before and I'm thinking of doing a major re-write on the first several chapters at some point, to make it clearer and more active, less full of exposition and thoughts, and less confusing...
So any feedback would be very welcome at this time. Can you tell me a thing or two that you liked about it and an thing of two that you don't like about it? Especially like to hear what readers don't like, so I can make corrections to those parts. I'm a very positive person, and I know what is going to happen, so it's hard for me to notice the confusing parts and the boring parts in my writing.
I will post chapter two. And maybe chapter 3.
HEY you don't need rights to give out negative feedback to me, I like negative feedback, it helps me know what to fix, and I LOVE fixing things. I agree this part is a bit slow, in a way...he thinks too much. Especially for an opening chapter.
I'm contemplating how to fix it.
I should post a later chapter which is more active and see what you think. I think I will do that. But not tonight.
I'm contemplating how to fix it.
I should post a later chapter which is more active and see what you think. I think I will do that. But not tonight.
FA+

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