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The bathroom seems to be the only real encounter place for spiders for me. It could be that they're pervs and into watersports. It could also be that they're the most civilized and sanitary spiders I've ever heard of and like to use the facilities.
Yeah right!
Pic 1.. So I'm about to go do my business when I spot what looks to be a bullet-hole in the wall just above the toilet. My roommate and I own guns, but I didn't recall any of them ever being fired in the apartment so I was a little confused for a moment. Until the bullet hole MOVED. It was a spider and it was lying in wait. Or on a positive note, maybe it also likes Game Informer Magazine?
Pic 2.. Curiosity and fear was a serious override for my need to tinkle, I had to investigate this a bit more. I had to! Because honestly I would hate to be sitting down and then suddenly feel this FACEHUGGER WITH FANGS attach itself to the back of my skull. I mean look at it!!!! Those legs could wrap around my entire head.
I almost wanted to make him into a real bullet hole at this point.. But even if I could safely discharge a firearm inside, the chitinous body armour of this mutant would probably just deflect it. The last thing I needed was this spider to be legitimately pissed off at me.. AND immune to bullets.
Pic 3.. As my curiosity waned, and options of brutal elimination of my adversary ran thin, it was high time I sent him on his merry way. Preferably not in the direction of me. There were no jars or containers within the immediate vicinity so just like before in my experience of a wall spider watching me pee, my only real weapon to defend myself was a writing utensil. They say the pen IS mightier than the sword, but I think this spider was laughing his abdomen off at the notion.
Fucking spiders...
Yeah right!
Pic 1.. So I'm about to go do my business when I spot what looks to be a bullet-hole in the wall just above the toilet. My roommate and I own guns, but I didn't recall any of them ever being fired in the apartment so I was a little confused for a moment. Until the bullet hole MOVED. It was a spider and it was lying in wait. Or on a positive note, maybe it also likes Game Informer Magazine?
Pic 2.. Curiosity and fear was a serious override for my need to tinkle, I had to investigate this a bit more. I had to! Because honestly I would hate to be sitting down and then suddenly feel this FACEHUGGER WITH FANGS attach itself to the back of my skull. I mean look at it!!!! Those legs could wrap around my entire head.
I almost wanted to make him into a real bullet hole at this point.. But even if I could safely discharge a firearm inside, the chitinous body armour of this mutant would probably just deflect it. The last thing I needed was this spider to be legitimately pissed off at me.. AND immune to bullets.
Pic 3.. As my curiosity waned, and options of brutal elimination of my adversary ran thin, it was high time I sent him on his merry way. Preferably not in the direction of me. There were no jars or containers within the immediate vicinity so just like before in my experience of a wall spider watching me pee, my only real weapon to defend myself was a writing utensil. They say the pen IS mightier than the sword, but I think this spider was laughing his abdomen off at the notion.
Fucking spiders...
Category Photography / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1000 x 250px
File Size 114.2 kB
I must be one of the only people who finds spiders adorable..
Fun fact: they're just as scared of you as you are of them. Spiders generally only bite when they feel they are in imminent danger...
unless they're just assholes, like a certain species of Jumping Spider
Fun fact: they're just as scared of you as you are of them. Spiders generally only bite when they feel they are in imminent danger...
unless they're just assholes, like a certain species of Jumping Spider
So in my case, I would have given that spider a new meaning to the film "Hairspray" and given him a tantalizing touch of his chitinous body a smooth make-over of aqua-net. Then after a thorough spraying, I'm sure he would curl over in excitement as I bring the mighty torch of flames in his general vicinity and allow him to experience a ethanol euphoria. Yes, the blaze would look good on him.
That's a male grass spider. We get a lot of them here too, and they're total derps. They just wander around your house, never building webs or doing anything useful, going "duh, where are all the girls at?". The females, on the other hand, are very cunning. They have the exact same coloring, but big bodies and small legs. Neither are really poisonous or anything.
If you see a female though, kill it or get it out of your house immediately, otherwise you'll be overrun with a ton of the males (who apparently are very lonely, desperate little retards). :P
If you see a female though, kill it or get it out of your house immediately, otherwise you'll be overrun with a ton of the males (who apparently are very lonely, desperate little retards). :P
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