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I thought I had already posted part of this here, but seems not.
2 nights ago I was bored, I couldn't get a connection so I did wha t I tend to do in those cases and reread some of my unfinished stories, to see if anythgin would click. and something did with this one so here it is.
this is loosely based on an idea Lokan had a while back, he told me about this world where humans and furries coexisted and needed to work together to make magic. the idea caught my interest and almost immediatly I started working on this.
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-Hurt Me Participant-
Comments are greatly appreciated, both positive and negative as long as they're constructive.
2 nights ago I was bored, I couldn't get a connection so I did wha t I tend to do in those cases and reread some of my unfinished stories, to see if anythgin would click. and something did with this one so here it is.
this is loosely based on an idea Lokan had a while back, he told me about this world where humans and furries coexisted and needed to work together to make magic. the idea caught my interest and almost immediatly I started working on this.
<< Previous | Next >>
-Hurt Me Participant-
Comments are greatly appreciated, both positive and negative as long as they're constructive.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 16.1 kB
hmmmm well the start of the story is a tad bit confusing, i had a really hard time following whats happening coz everything was happening so fast @_@ but later the more you wrote things were beginning to make sense really... you should go deeper into Marcus' and Jareds characters, share their thoughts and emotions... how does Jared feel about Marcus, does he fear him and stuff like that and how does Marcus react to Jareds "naivity"... i like the idea of the human-fur relation about magics :3
so far it sounds great :3 keep at it :3
so far it sounds great :3 keep at it :3
this being a draft it's pretty much bare bones. and yeah it the first few scenes more really fast. I wanted to give an idea for why Marcus was in that Inn, getting drunk, but I didn't want to waste time getting there sincethat's where the story starts moving.
When I write I tend to write only from the side of one of the characters, this pass it's Marcus. if I do a second draft of it I'll probably add more details on the side of Jaren.
When I write I tend to write only from the side of one of the characters, this pass it's Marcus. if I do a second draft of it I'll probably add more details on the side of Jaren.
i was just saying that because Marcus as the main character in the story rescued Jared for no particular known reason to us, the readers, so i have this idea that Jared may be a really important character in the story, thus is a main character as well next to Marcus :3 so it kinda makes me wanna hear more about them :3
in any case, i really wanna hear what happens next XDD
in any case, i really wanna hear what happens next XDD
No matter what its about, or even if you finish them, your introductory drafts always amaze me. It seems like full blown novels can be written from them, yet sadly they end up to only be a few pages. real tragedy. if was a paperback, i would have stayed up all night .. well until i passed out... to finish it.
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