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My entry for a hypnosis story into 
's story competition! Please tell me what you think! I appreciate any and all feedback!
Just a Part of the Training
By Reian
The padawan sat in the middle of the room, legs crossed and eyes closed. His pointed ears flicked as other padawans opened and closed the door. Today was the day that they would be matched up against their opponents for tournament. He could sense their presence in the force, recognizing which of his fellow padawans had gotten through their trials.
He was trying to calm down. He had been anxious, as his lightsaber skills were not as good as many of the other padawans, and you could not get through a full battle relying on force moves.
“Many of the Masters,” the teacher started, making the buck open his eyes, “have already chosen padawans. Also, not as many have passed the initiating as we had hoped.”
“So we shall call out the names of those who did pass. Those shall walk through the door and find their masters,” another of the teachers said.
There was no time between. One by one names were read off. Each time the deer’s ear would flick against his antler and his tail brushed against the back of his robes in anticipation. He waited for his name, mind racing. He knew that he would have to settle down, but if right now he was to worried. He did not want to go to the service corp, after all.
“Padawan Kaflen,” the instructor to the right said.
The buck stood up, breathing a sigh of relief in the back of his mind. He bowed to his teachers as he passed. He stopped before walking through the door and took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind.
It worked too well, he could feel the force presence on the other side. It washed over him like a rush of desire. No, he could not want for such power. It was not the Jedi way. He pushed the door open with a hoof and peered as the door cracked open. Slowly, the appearance of his new master showed itself. Unlike many of the other masters, he did not wear traditional robes, nor was he hooded.
Then again, such robes may not have fit. While Kaflen kept his antlers shaved down, the dragon before him had allowed his horns to grow. The blue and red scales that covered the masters body looked as though it would have been uncomfortable to cover too much.
“Come, my Padawan. We start immediately with your training.”
The power that Kaflen first felt subsided and became more of a calming sensation that made his fur stand on end. So perhaps it was not as calm as he first thought. The air between them seemed tense and uncomfortable. It was as if an unknown factor was coming in and causing his apparent Master to not trust him.
“Yes, Master, of course.”
The dragon turned to leave, his strides long as he started to walk, making Kaflen having to trot in order to catch up.
“I am Yal Dfruteg, and I shall be your Master from now on.”
“Master Dfruteg, why me?” the buck asked.
His master stopped short. The dragon did not turn, but instead extended himself to Kaflen through the Force. The padawan at first tried to protect his mind from his masters probing, just as he would from the other padawans. It was a reaction, a training mechanism he had gone through all these years.
Master Dfruteg batted his resistance away with no effort, as if Kaflen had not even tried. His defenses cast aside, Kaflen felt his new master’s presence in his mind as the Force found its way to the tiniest crevices and pulled at the smallest of strings. Kaflen tried to get away from the sensation, but he could not, he did not have the experience that the dragon did.
“The fact that you can even resist me at all shows you have promise,” Dfruteg said, withdrawing from his apprentices mind. The dragon continued to walk forward, lightsaber clicking against his exposed scales.
The young buck trotted after him, eyes rather glazed over from exhaustion. He was, though, elated that his Force abilities pleased his Master. The viberblade that hung from Kaflen’s back was slipping down his shoulder as his posture relaxed.
Dfruteg led his apprentice to a meditation room. The lights were dim, there were none of the normal cushions on the floor. There was not even a rug, so Kaflen’s hooves clicked against the hard stone. The buck was not sure as to why they were here, and as the door shut behind him there was a greater awareness of his surroundings.
This is where the instructors had sent padawans who needed to face their inner demons, who needed to come to terms with a lack of family, or who simply needed to be separated from the others. The buck remembered coming in here and having to meditate though the want for power after a particularly crushing defeat. He was not sure how long he stayed in here, but knew that it took a while for him to file his antlers back down to a manageable size afterwards.
“Master?” he uttered quietly, knowing the room to echo any talking that occurred. It was how the instructors knew what the padawans were doing while kept in here.
“You shall now experience something that is vital to your training. A powerful force technique,” he said with a pause as Kaflen’s eyes widened, “that will be yours. I can declare you training complete once you have mastered and understood this technique.”
The dragon sat on the cold stone, lightsaber dragging as it moved. Kaflen moved to a kneeling position before his master, eager to start. How lucky was he to receive such a master? His training would be complete once he mastered this advanced technique! That couldn’t be too hard, right? His eagerness to get started pushed the uncertain feelings in the Force from earlier to the side.
The Jedi master reached his hand out to the buck, his talons just visible in the near darkness. Even through his fur, the dragon’s claws were chill to the touch as they settled on his snout and pressed into his cheeks. The buck could feel the air around him become warm and start to smell of the flowers from the meditation gardens in summer. He stared at the dragon the background fading around him.
He could feel the Force pull at him, warning signs popping up in his mind. He was helpless to respond though. Try as he might, he could not even direct his thoughts to them, let alone act upon them. The warmth that was around him began to creep up his fur and glide across his skin. The scent of flowers grew stronger and his mind finally started to process what was happening.
He was in the coldest room in the Temple. There was no smell from the gardens wafting through the air in here. He could feel a push back in the Force, his own push back against the dragon.
“Good, my Padawan,” the dragon said, “but not good enough.”
Kaflen’s attempt at defense was again washed away. The fingers of Force once again felt around in his mind, changing his perceptions and removing his connections to this physical world. His Master was the only thing in focus as the room became the gardens through whatever technique he was using. The grass poked him through his robes. The soil felt good against the tips of his bare hooves. Avian creatures fluttered from bust to bush. The buck relaxed his body and mind, allowing the serenity of the garden to wash over him.
Even his Master disappeared from view. In his spot was the sunset that outlined by the by the trees, streams of light danced through any space it could. The buck took a deep breath in, allowing the life around him to fill and sooth his body. A small gust of wind came and ruffled his fur causing him to shiver slightly.
“I should go get a thicker robe,” he said to himself, the technique convincing him he was really in the gardens.
The dragon smiled, but remained still and silent, wanting to see what his padawan would do. He released his claw slightly from Kaflen’s face, the tips of his talons still touching the skin under the bucks fine fur. This was a good test for him to give, since he had heard of Kaflen’s yearning for power. Such yearning tended to lead to the dark side.
The buck before Dfruteg did not seem to hold such wants. This technique was usually meant for complete control of another. It was good for those missions that needed some finesse and, well, not to much attention. No, this technique was also useful for seeing what people loved most or what people constantly yearned for.
His apprentice yearned for life.
This made the dragon smile. His fears of a damaging apprentice were gone. Kaflen would never be a strong fighter, however he would flourish into a great force user, one who could heal and supplement rather than attack and lead.
The buck stood up and Dfruteg removed his claw. He walked towards the south wall of the room. His motions were clumsy, knees not entirely locking as he stepped, head bobbing from one side to the other. His eyes were misted over, but still conveyed a sense fawn like awe and innocence. Dfruteg watched with a smile as the buck wandered around the room, trying to figure out in his mind which way it was back to the temple. The technique had taken such a hold on the buck that he would occasionally stop and make a motion to smell a flower or feel the Force flow through a bush.
His hooves stepped drunkenly, criss-crossing and double stepping. He finally got dizzy enough and he toppled over. He laughed for a few moments, brushing it off as though he stumbled in a ditch or tripped over a root, the dragon was not sure what was going on his mind now, but that quickly ended once his antlers scrapped against the concrete of the wall that was part of reality rather than the illusion Kaflen had let take over his mind.
Kaflen was jolted back to reality. They were in the same cold room, his hooves making an unnecessary amount of noise against the hard floor. He stopped walking and stood still confused. The smell of the gardens still lingered around him, but it was soon washed away by the sharp metallic smell of the Temple beams.
“What happened?”
“I took you to the depths of your mind, to show us both what you really yearned for. To see what kind of Jedi you would become,” Dfruteg said, also getting up from his knees.
“Why, Master?”
“To quell any fears that we may have. For fear leads to the Dark Side.”
“And I shall learn to do that, Master?”
“Once you can successfully stop the technique from taking control of you, yes.”
With that, master and apprentice exited the meditation room. The cold unknowing that shifted between them earlier subsided, which can only be expected once the master has rummaged around in the apprentice’s mind.
's story competition! Please tell me what you think! I appreciate any and all feedback!Just a Part of the Training
By Reian
The padawan sat in the middle of the room, legs crossed and eyes closed. His pointed ears flicked as other padawans opened and closed the door. Today was the day that they would be matched up against their opponents for tournament. He could sense their presence in the force, recognizing which of his fellow padawans had gotten through their trials.
He was trying to calm down. He had been anxious, as his lightsaber skills were not as good as many of the other padawans, and you could not get through a full battle relying on force moves.
“Many of the Masters,” the teacher started, making the buck open his eyes, “have already chosen padawans. Also, not as many have passed the initiating as we had hoped.”
“So we shall call out the names of those who did pass. Those shall walk through the door and find their masters,” another of the teachers said.
There was no time between. One by one names were read off. Each time the deer’s ear would flick against his antler and his tail brushed against the back of his robes in anticipation. He waited for his name, mind racing. He knew that he would have to settle down, but if right now he was to worried. He did not want to go to the service corp, after all.
“Padawan Kaflen,” the instructor to the right said.
The buck stood up, breathing a sigh of relief in the back of his mind. He bowed to his teachers as he passed. He stopped before walking through the door and took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind.
It worked too well, he could feel the force presence on the other side. It washed over him like a rush of desire. No, he could not want for such power. It was not the Jedi way. He pushed the door open with a hoof and peered as the door cracked open. Slowly, the appearance of his new master showed itself. Unlike many of the other masters, he did not wear traditional robes, nor was he hooded.
Then again, such robes may not have fit. While Kaflen kept his antlers shaved down, the dragon before him had allowed his horns to grow. The blue and red scales that covered the masters body looked as though it would have been uncomfortable to cover too much.
“Come, my Padawan. We start immediately with your training.”
The power that Kaflen first felt subsided and became more of a calming sensation that made his fur stand on end. So perhaps it was not as calm as he first thought. The air between them seemed tense and uncomfortable. It was as if an unknown factor was coming in and causing his apparent Master to not trust him.
“Yes, Master, of course.”
The dragon turned to leave, his strides long as he started to walk, making Kaflen having to trot in order to catch up.
“I am Yal Dfruteg, and I shall be your Master from now on.”
“Master Dfruteg, why me?” the buck asked.
His master stopped short. The dragon did not turn, but instead extended himself to Kaflen through the Force. The padawan at first tried to protect his mind from his masters probing, just as he would from the other padawans. It was a reaction, a training mechanism he had gone through all these years.
Master Dfruteg batted his resistance away with no effort, as if Kaflen had not even tried. His defenses cast aside, Kaflen felt his new master’s presence in his mind as the Force found its way to the tiniest crevices and pulled at the smallest of strings. Kaflen tried to get away from the sensation, but he could not, he did not have the experience that the dragon did.
“The fact that you can even resist me at all shows you have promise,” Dfruteg said, withdrawing from his apprentices mind. The dragon continued to walk forward, lightsaber clicking against his exposed scales.
The young buck trotted after him, eyes rather glazed over from exhaustion. He was, though, elated that his Force abilities pleased his Master. The viberblade that hung from Kaflen’s back was slipping down his shoulder as his posture relaxed.
Dfruteg led his apprentice to a meditation room. The lights were dim, there were none of the normal cushions on the floor. There was not even a rug, so Kaflen’s hooves clicked against the hard stone. The buck was not sure as to why they were here, and as the door shut behind him there was a greater awareness of his surroundings.
This is where the instructors had sent padawans who needed to face their inner demons, who needed to come to terms with a lack of family, or who simply needed to be separated from the others. The buck remembered coming in here and having to meditate though the want for power after a particularly crushing defeat. He was not sure how long he stayed in here, but knew that it took a while for him to file his antlers back down to a manageable size afterwards.
“Master?” he uttered quietly, knowing the room to echo any talking that occurred. It was how the instructors knew what the padawans were doing while kept in here.
“You shall now experience something that is vital to your training. A powerful force technique,” he said with a pause as Kaflen’s eyes widened, “that will be yours. I can declare you training complete once you have mastered and understood this technique.”
The dragon sat on the cold stone, lightsaber dragging as it moved. Kaflen moved to a kneeling position before his master, eager to start. How lucky was he to receive such a master? His training would be complete once he mastered this advanced technique! That couldn’t be too hard, right? His eagerness to get started pushed the uncertain feelings in the Force from earlier to the side.
The Jedi master reached his hand out to the buck, his talons just visible in the near darkness. Even through his fur, the dragon’s claws were chill to the touch as they settled on his snout and pressed into his cheeks. The buck could feel the air around him become warm and start to smell of the flowers from the meditation gardens in summer. He stared at the dragon the background fading around him.
He could feel the Force pull at him, warning signs popping up in his mind. He was helpless to respond though. Try as he might, he could not even direct his thoughts to them, let alone act upon them. The warmth that was around him began to creep up his fur and glide across his skin. The scent of flowers grew stronger and his mind finally started to process what was happening.
He was in the coldest room in the Temple. There was no smell from the gardens wafting through the air in here. He could feel a push back in the Force, his own push back against the dragon.
“Good, my Padawan,” the dragon said, “but not good enough.”
Kaflen’s attempt at defense was again washed away. The fingers of Force once again felt around in his mind, changing his perceptions and removing his connections to this physical world. His Master was the only thing in focus as the room became the gardens through whatever technique he was using. The grass poked him through his robes. The soil felt good against the tips of his bare hooves. Avian creatures fluttered from bust to bush. The buck relaxed his body and mind, allowing the serenity of the garden to wash over him.
Even his Master disappeared from view. In his spot was the sunset that outlined by the by the trees, streams of light danced through any space it could. The buck took a deep breath in, allowing the life around him to fill and sooth his body. A small gust of wind came and ruffled his fur causing him to shiver slightly.
“I should go get a thicker robe,” he said to himself, the technique convincing him he was really in the gardens.
The dragon smiled, but remained still and silent, wanting to see what his padawan would do. He released his claw slightly from Kaflen’s face, the tips of his talons still touching the skin under the bucks fine fur. This was a good test for him to give, since he had heard of Kaflen’s yearning for power. Such yearning tended to lead to the dark side.
The buck before Dfruteg did not seem to hold such wants. This technique was usually meant for complete control of another. It was good for those missions that needed some finesse and, well, not to much attention. No, this technique was also useful for seeing what people loved most or what people constantly yearned for.
His apprentice yearned for life.
This made the dragon smile. His fears of a damaging apprentice were gone. Kaflen would never be a strong fighter, however he would flourish into a great force user, one who could heal and supplement rather than attack and lead.
The buck stood up and Dfruteg removed his claw. He walked towards the south wall of the room. His motions were clumsy, knees not entirely locking as he stepped, head bobbing from one side to the other. His eyes were misted over, but still conveyed a sense fawn like awe and innocence. Dfruteg watched with a smile as the buck wandered around the room, trying to figure out in his mind which way it was back to the temple. The technique had taken such a hold on the buck that he would occasionally stop and make a motion to smell a flower or feel the Force flow through a bush.
His hooves stepped drunkenly, criss-crossing and double stepping. He finally got dizzy enough and he toppled over. He laughed for a few moments, brushing it off as though he stumbled in a ditch or tripped over a root, the dragon was not sure what was going on his mind now, but that quickly ended once his antlers scrapped against the concrete of the wall that was part of reality rather than the illusion Kaflen had let take over his mind.
Kaflen was jolted back to reality. They were in the same cold room, his hooves making an unnecessary amount of noise against the hard floor. He stopped walking and stood still confused. The smell of the gardens still lingered around him, but it was soon washed away by the sharp metallic smell of the Temple beams.
“What happened?”
“I took you to the depths of your mind, to show us both what you really yearned for. To see what kind of Jedi you would become,” Dfruteg said, also getting up from his knees.
“Why, Master?”
“To quell any fears that we may have. For fear leads to the Dark Side.”
“And I shall learn to do that, Master?”
“Once you can successfully stop the technique from taking control of you, yes.”
With that, master and apprentice exited the meditation room. The cold unknowing that shifted between them earlier subsided, which can only be expected once the master has rummaged around in the apprentice’s mind.
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Cervine (Other)
Size 119 x 120px
File Size 93.1 kB
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