I was thinking to myself last night, about a lot of things going on for me, but the main thing was that I'm sorta tired of the whole gainer lifestyle, to be honest. No, I don't have anything against other big guys, I just feel like it's getting old for me.

One of the main reasons why is this community. When I first sorta emerged on the scene here, I was writing things, making songs, and making quality friends, and I really had a good self-esteem about being a furry. But now, it's totally different. I feel like my whole purpose in this community is just for people to tease me about my weight. And frankly, all that teasing has sorta left me in the dumps, self-esteem wise. That's partly why I haven't posted any stories or poems or songs lately, or spoken with half of my friends on here - I feel so useless to the community unless people call me fatass, or whatever. When you guys talk to me, it's never "Hey, how's school going?" or "Have you been working on any good stories?" or "How're things with your ex?" But it's always, "Hey, lardass >:3" or "You fatass," or "What's up, tubby?" I feel like a vapid joke rather than a useful person whenever I talk to you guys.

So, am I going to lose weight? I'm honestly still deciding, but I'll most likely stop trying to gain weight for the foreseeable future. And don't be surprised if I stop talking to some of you for a while. It's just too depressing sometimes.