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a journal that's not about commissions
4 years ago
General
well, mostly.
it's been a long, rough year and a half. subtractions and additions to the family, including pets, sadly. lots of changes in work situations. since june i've been burying myself in web design/development to forget. i also think i just hit a wall artwise. right now i just can't do art for money. i need to pivot back to using art as emotional therapy, and compartmentalizing 'work' from 'passion'. thankfully i'm in a situation where i don't have to work full-time hours - i'm getting regular non-art-work that's much more high paying so i don't have to put in 40 hours a week at a job i only like 20% of the time anymore just to pay the bills.
i will probably be doing a lot of artwork about the 'looming spectre of death', as norm macdonald said, who i was supposed to go see live one month after he fucking died. and that was like.. the least of my fucking worries this year. it's always cool when you have to go back to therapy for the first time in 10 years. unfortunately the horizon looks like it'll get darker before it brightens.
but the tide always goes out, and the slow march of time continues, and the waves of grief come in longer and longer intervals. you're still alive. i'm still alive. we're here. it's fall. another year is almost over. the frost made the leaves fall unrealistically fast on the sugar maple tree this morning, small fairy trails of ice covering the car, our breath in little puffs.
we're alive.
it's been a long, rough year and a half. subtractions and additions to the family, including pets, sadly. lots of changes in work situations. since june i've been burying myself in web design/development to forget. i also think i just hit a wall artwise. right now i just can't do art for money. i need to pivot back to using art as emotional therapy, and compartmentalizing 'work' from 'passion'. thankfully i'm in a situation where i don't have to work full-time hours - i'm getting regular non-art-work that's much more high paying so i don't have to put in 40 hours a week at a job i only like 20% of the time anymore just to pay the bills.
i will probably be doing a lot of artwork about the 'looming spectre of death', as norm macdonald said, who i was supposed to go see live one month after he fucking died. and that was like.. the least of my fucking worries this year. it's always cool when you have to go back to therapy for the first time in 10 years. unfortunately the horizon looks like it'll get darker before it brightens.
but the tide always goes out, and the slow march of time continues, and the waves of grief come in longer and longer intervals. you're still alive. i'm still alive. we're here. it's fall. another year is almost over. the frost made the leaves fall unrealistically fast on the sugar maple tree this morning, small fairy trails of ice covering the car, our breath in little puffs.
we're alive.
However, life goes on in spite of all of this. Even as we grieve the loss of loved ones it finds a way.
There's been a lot of loss on my end this year, however some new life has entered which brings a bittersweet cast to the end of the year. The cycle continues just like it always has and just like it always will.
Better days will come, if they're not already here. :)