if you play animal crossing then your soul is being poisoned by an evil thing that was created by the satan

jesus h. chrisk said that animals should not walk on two legs, only the humans can do that and the animals have to kneel down on the ground and get the newspaper

my dad told me that jessu will scratch you with his fingernail if you ever do anything bad in the human world

but if you're a good person and do the right thing then gosh will give you a big crispy chicken sandwich in the aftersomething