So... I have a few things I figured I would share to let people know what's been going on with me since having written the hospital journals. Apologies for how long this journal might get.

I want to start things off by saying that it does appear that yes, the surgery has worked and has done what it was supposed to. I've not had a single migraine since the day I had the surgery. That's not to say I have been without any pain. I've had to deal with a lot of different post-surgical pains in the last several weeks. Many of which had me worried that something was wrong with the surgery.

More than once, I ended up with a headache. Not a full on migraine, just a headache. Yes, I can tell the difference, based on how my body feels during them. The fact they were only headaches didn't stop me from getting anxious though. With me having had to deal with the entire hospital stay alone, I've been terrified of even the smallest thing with my body. So every time I got even a small headache I got worried, even though I knew it wasn't a migraine. Thankfully, the headaches would go away with some meds and a quick nap, so that usually solved the issue.

There was also the fact I was frequently experiencing these random sharp pains in my side. No pattern to when they would happen. No specific movement would set them off. They just seemed to happen randomly. These occurred in the lower left side of my belly. Not at my incision site, but several inches to the left of it. I would be going about my normal activities, then suddenly I would feel a sharp jolt of pain. These pains would last anywhere from a few seconds to upwards of 30-45 minutes. I literally only two days ago discovered that the hospital I had the surgery done at had an online patient portal site that can be used to communicate with the doctors and nurses there (which I only learned after waiting nearly an hour on hold for the hospital the day prior to that to try and get hold of someone) so I sent a message to them and discovered that it's unfortunately a part of the healing process I'm going through. The reason it's been so difficult and causing the random pains is because the tubing is trying to find a place to settle inside my body, but it's rubbing against old scar tissue from the past surgeries I've had (and I've had quite a few of them over my lifetime), so, unfortunately, until the tubing finds a good settling place, it's going to keep happening.

And speaking of tubing, another issue I've been having has to do with one of the pieces of it, namely the catheter, that is directly beneath the incision that was made in my belly. It runs the entire length of the incision and protrudes out from my stomach. This wouldn't be an issue, except I sleep on my left side. Because of where the incision and catheter are, my normal sleeping position now make it so the catheter pushes in on me stomach if I lay the way I normally do when I'm sleeping at night. This makes laying down to sleep difficult for me, as I now have to shift around repeatedly just to try and find a position to sleep that won't cause me discomfort. The problem there is that I also move around a lot when I'm laying down. So even when I do find a good spot, I can usually never stay there long, because my body shifts a bit and I just end up uncomfortable again. I decided to report in about this too, and I was told that this is also something that is part of most shunt surgeries and that the catheter will eventually smooth out. I only hope that when it does, I'm able to lay down properly again, because I've lost a decent amount of sleep over this already. Usually once I get to sleep I'm fine but getting there has been hard lately.

So yeah, it seems that a lot of the issues I'm currently having are common issues with shunt surgeries. I find it bizarre though that, despite the number of surgeries I've had in my lifetime, I can't seem to remember most of the things I'm being told are common issues/side effects.

There's one more thing to mention regarding medical stuff going on that I feel like I should mention. Several days ago, I decided I needed a personal day to myself, so I went onto my various messengers and left messages to my friends advising them that if they didn't see me online for the entirety of that particular day, it was because something had happened the day prior, and my mood was dragged so far down that I just wanted to focus on games for the day, but wanted to let them know I was okay, so they wouldn't worry and think "Why weren't you online? Did you get hospitalized again?" or anything like that. At the time of it happening, I didn't give the reason for why I needed the personal day.

The reason I needed it though, I've decided I'm going to mention it. That particular day, I received the bill for what my insurance didn't cover of my shunt surgery. While it isn't a massive amount, it's still more than I can afford to pay. Especially with me on SSI. When I got the bill, I freaked out. I did not handle it well and had an anxiety attack, followed shortly after by completely shutting down emotionally. Even when I woke up the following day, I wasn't feeling any better, which is why I ultimately decided I needed a personal day. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. After telling my friends I was taking a personal day and would not be online at all for the day beyond that, I shut all messengers off, and did not respond to any texts or phone calls. I just needed a day where I didn't really need to think much and could stay distracted. I did though, use the time to attempt to request financial aid with the bill, as it listed a site with information to apply for it. Realistically, I'm not expecting to get the assistance, but, from what I read, I'll know sometime within the next two weeks if I got it or not. If so, great. If not, my next plan of action is calling the billing department directly and explaining that I live off of SSI and can't really afford the bill.

Let me say this now. I am NOT asking anyone for money. Explaining what I did was solely for the purpose of letting everyone know what's been going on with me. I do not want to ask anyone for assistance, because I can't afford to pay back anyone that helps me anyway. If I could, I wouldn't need to ask for help anyway, as I could just pay the bill itself. So please, take this journal as what it is meant to be. Information being passed to those wanting to know what's going on. Nothing more. I'm going to get past this. If it comes down to it, I'll just try and find out what the minimum amount they will accept for payments is and try and see what I can do from there.