Screw it. I was gonna see if I could go a full week without making a new journal, but it's just not physically possible. I apparently have too much on my mind, and for some reason choose to type it out for all the internet to see, rather than tell people who actually care.

I've begun to notice a few things about love. It's fleeting, and rare, and not always as strong as they make it look in those damn Hollywood abominations. In some cases, it can even drive two people apart, two people who fearfully delved into each others worlds and know each other back to front. It's an ugly truth, but it exists. Call me bitter, cynical, whatever it is that rolls off your tongue first, but I don't, can't, believe in the type of love that they show you in movies. You know, those ones where no matter how bad each party fucks up, they end up together in the end and all is well. Sorry kids, that ain't how it works.

This isn't coming from some angry part of me that wishes things had gone better for me in the past, or wishes I could do it all over and retain my wide-eyed innocence regarding love. This isn't me lashing out at anyone(for once). I'm actually very happy with my situation, and I'm glad that the events leading up to it occurred at all... otherwise, I would never have learned a thing, and I'd still be the same clingy, lovesick loser I was before. Just the detached musings of someone who gets the misfortune of watching people over and over and over, making the same mistakes and never learning.

See, I don't believe in TRUE love. If love were true, people wouldn't lie, cheat, and steal to show or hide how they feel. They wouldn't cause pain to one another, or leave abruptly when they notice one glaring flaw in their significant other. So no, I don't believe in true love. I do, however, believe that there are people whose lives are inexplicably intertwined by some unspeakable force. I thought I felt this force more than once, and more than once I've been wrong. Well, except twice. First time, the pull wasn't enough to keep us together, or warrant a second chance at something potentially amazing. Second time... well, let's say that second chances can do wonders.

I should rant about stuff more often, this was fun. Although, I doubt many people would agree with this cynical view on love. Also, before anyone who reads this thinks that they're subtly mentioned and gets all up in arms; don't. It isn't worth it. This is just a wordy observation concocted to both test my vocabulary and get out an opinion. And now, to bed, my head has been pounding like a drum for the past five hours straight.

And before I forget, art... I've lost my touch. What little touch I had. I'm just not motivated to pick up a pencil anymore, it pisses me off. I should be motivated or inspired, but... I feel nothing. The magic just isn't there. I have an idea of where it went, but it's a better idea to search for a new source of inspiration.