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A Look Back on 2021
3 years ago
The Retrospective
Of all the years, 2021 was definitely one of them. You know, I’ll be candid. Above this right now on this doc is 3 entire pages discussing 2021. The bad, the worse, and the victories in spite of those. I don’t think I need to spill my spaghetti everywhere like that though, so I’ll keep it short and leave my purple prose for another time.
2021 is going to leave me heavily bruised, but not beaten. In the end, I’ve won. No matter how pyrrhic it might have been, I came out on top.
I achieved an MBA.
I showed those fuckers at all the companies that told me I wasn’t good enough for the last 2 years that I’m actually better than them and got hired at an elite, top of the line company to build out critical new infrastructure.
I achieved full financial independence.
I paid off my debts in full.
I fixed my crippling back problems.
I saw Porter Robinson in concert FINALLY and it was a damn dream come true.
I can sleep peacefully again.
It helps to list these out. Oftentimes in retrospective look backs, it’s hard to see anything but the carnage. The wreckage left in the wake of losing my closest companion as she died in my arms. The depression that cast everything in a haze of numbness. The loss of friends through the social anemia of sorrow. These things tainted my year, even defined it in ways. But so did the moments of hope above. While I might not be able to fix what’s been lost, I’m hoping to learn from them in 2022.
2022 might be better. The victories of 2021 will outlive the losses of 2021. While those losses will still sting, hurt, and return from time to time, I’ll be better prepared for them.
As for you, you made it. 2021 wasn’t just difficult for me. I know it’s been hard for others too in different ways. Perhaps even more than 2020. So, just for yall, you fuckin made it. Take a moment to rest and just remind yourself of that and toast with me to a better 2022.
The Grapeside Chat
With the heavy end-of-year retrospecting and spaghetti partially spilled, let’s get to some of the more interesting/fun/stupid stuff going on with me.
The Social Anemia: I lied. Let's spill a little more spaghetti. I mentioned social anemia above. Some of yall might have noticed my social withdrawal. I’m not the most talkative person, but have been more reclusive than normal this year. After Zelda’s death, I kind of shutdown. Losing her took a chunk of my small social bandwidth permanently. Couple that with a very emotionally taxing job and a 5AM shift, you can guess how that crippled what small social circles I had. While I was able to maintain some friendships, I know there are others that suffered that anemic death. If we had one of those anemic deaths, I apologize that it was collateral of things falling apart in my life. With the sorrow of death and my burden of being the confidant and pillar for everyone in my family and for some friends, life became too much at times. To keep functioning, I’ve had to drop a lot. I’m doing better now and starting to get that social strength back, but am definitely not at a place where I’m back to reaching out for things with most people yet. If we were buds and this year seems like we’ve drifted apart, that’s why. It was nothing you did. I’m sorry for not saying anything earlier. It’s hard when you’re in the thick of it. Hopefully I’m past the thick and into the thinning of the trees.
Art: So I’m back to drawing again on a somewhat frequent basis. I probably won’t post much here for now, but will be on my Telegram channel at https://t.me/gylphiespornstash . As for commissioned art, I’ll be real and say you shouldn’t expect me to fill the backlog. If the artist posts it on Twitter and tags me, I’ll retweet it there for sure. I’m more likely to put it in the Telegram group above as well because it is easy. As for FA, I will upload some things when I remember to, but it won’t be too often. I can hardly remember my own age sometimes, so remembering what to upload and that I need to upload is asking a bit. I’ll *try* to upload more often, but no promises.
Conventions: Gylphie going back on him saying he wouldn’t do conventions? Whaaat? Well, maybe. I’ve got the time, ability, and money to now. If I do any conventions this year, it would be one of either BLFC, TFF, FWA, or MFF. It would likely only be one of those with me declining the others. I’m leaning towards BLFC or MFF but TFF is a strong contender because then I’d get to slap Toumak in person, that giant fuck.
LFG: Let’s fuckin goooooo!
LFG 2: Looking for someone to make a VRChat avatar of Gideon, so if you know of some 3D artists who you think could do a good Gideon (read: can make a chunky avatar look good), definitely let me know of them in a comment below!
Roll Credits:
Wrapping up this weird retrospective rambling with some thanks to the lads that made 2021 bearable.
toumakthegryphon for always be doing to clown
subitokurai for being one of the coolest people I’ve ever met
overgrownlizards for not spitting in my mouth
lockhrin for being the most quotable person who isn’t Evan and literally always making me laugh
sirspacedragurn for being the absolute god gamer of a Battlefield player and unbeatable tank driver
bonnie.bovine for making Tiddyon thicc af in her first ref sheet https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40663349/
eljado for the FUKN INCREDIBLE redesign of demon Gideon https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43252130/
killioma for being actually the nicest, easiest, and absolutely one of the most professional people I've ever worked with when he blew me out of the water and into orbit with Gideon's new reference sheet (NSFW btw): https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43787661/
Important message related to above: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachme.....D_A_THREAT.png
The entire D&D group
Chipotle
Burritos
And many more Lads from the Lad’s Landing.
(This was still 2 pages god dammit)
Of all the years, 2021 was definitely one of them. You know, I’ll be candid. Above this right now on this doc is 3 entire pages discussing 2021. The bad, the worse, and the victories in spite of those. I don’t think I need to spill my spaghetti everywhere like that though, so I’ll keep it short and leave my purple prose for another time.
2021 is going to leave me heavily bruised, but not beaten. In the end, I’ve won. No matter how pyrrhic it might have been, I came out on top.
I achieved an MBA.
I showed those fuckers at all the companies that told me I wasn’t good enough for the last 2 years that I’m actually better than them and got hired at an elite, top of the line company to build out critical new infrastructure.
I achieved full financial independence.
I paid off my debts in full.
I fixed my crippling back problems.
I saw Porter Robinson in concert FINALLY and it was a damn dream come true.
I can sleep peacefully again.
It helps to list these out. Oftentimes in retrospective look backs, it’s hard to see anything but the carnage. The wreckage left in the wake of losing my closest companion as she died in my arms. The depression that cast everything in a haze of numbness. The loss of friends through the social anemia of sorrow. These things tainted my year, even defined it in ways. But so did the moments of hope above. While I might not be able to fix what’s been lost, I’m hoping to learn from them in 2022.
2022 might be better. The victories of 2021 will outlive the losses of 2021. While those losses will still sting, hurt, and return from time to time, I’ll be better prepared for them.
As for you, you made it. 2021 wasn’t just difficult for me. I know it’s been hard for others too in different ways. Perhaps even more than 2020. So, just for yall, you fuckin made it. Take a moment to rest and just remind yourself of that and toast with me to a better 2022.
The Grapeside Chat
With the heavy end-of-year retrospecting and spaghetti partially spilled, let’s get to some of the more interesting/fun/stupid stuff going on with me.
The Social Anemia: I lied. Let's spill a little more spaghetti. I mentioned social anemia above. Some of yall might have noticed my social withdrawal. I’m not the most talkative person, but have been more reclusive than normal this year. After Zelda’s death, I kind of shutdown. Losing her took a chunk of my small social bandwidth permanently. Couple that with a very emotionally taxing job and a 5AM shift, you can guess how that crippled what small social circles I had. While I was able to maintain some friendships, I know there are others that suffered that anemic death. If we had one of those anemic deaths, I apologize that it was collateral of things falling apart in my life. With the sorrow of death and my burden of being the confidant and pillar for everyone in my family and for some friends, life became too much at times. To keep functioning, I’ve had to drop a lot. I’m doing better now and starting to get that social strength back, but am definitely not at a place where I’m back to reaching out for things with most people yet. If we were buds and this year seems like we’ve drifted apart, that’s why. It was nothing you did. I’m sorry for not saying anything earlier. It’s hard when you’re in the thick of it. Hopefully I’m past the thick and into the thinning of the trees.
Art: So I’m back to drawing again on a somewhat frequent basis. I probably won’t post much here for now, but will be on my Telegram channel at https://t.me/gylphiespornstash . As for commissioned art, I’ll be real and say you shouldn’t expect me to fill the backlog. If the artist posts it on Twitter and tags me, I’ll retweet it there for sure. I’m more likely to put it in the Telegram group above as well because it is easy. As for FA, I will upload some things when I remember to, but it won’t be too often. I can hardly remember my own age sometimes, so remembering what to upload and that I need to upload is asking a bit. I’ll *try* to upload more often, but no promises.
Conventions: Gylphie going back on him saying he wouldn’t do conventions? Whaaat? Well, maybe. I’ve got the time, ability, and money to now. If I do any conventions this year, it would be one of either BLFC, TFF, FWA, or MFF. It would likely only be one of those with me declining the others. I’m leaning towards BLFC or MFF but TFF is a strong contender because then I’d get to slap Toumak in person, that giant fuck.
LFG: Let’s fuckin goooooo!
LFG 2: Looking for someone to make a VRChat avatar of Gideon, so if you know of some 3D artists who you think could do a good Gideon (read: can make a chunky avatar look good), definitely let me know of them in a comment below!
Roll Credits:
Wrapping up this weird retrospective rambling with some thanks to the lads that made 2021 bearable.
toumakthegryphon for always be doing to clown
subitokurai for being one of the coolest people I’ve ever met
overgrownlizards for not spitting in my mouth
lockhrin for being the most quotable person who isn’t Evan and literally always making me laugh
sirspacedragurn for being the absolute god gamer of a Battlefield player and unbeatable tank driver
bonnie.bovine for making Tiddyon thicc af in her first ref sheet https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40663349/
eljado for the FUKN INCREDIBLE redesign of demon Gideon https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43252130/
killioma for being actually the nicest, easiest, and absolutely one of the most professional people I've ever worked with when he blew me out of the water and into orbit with Gideon's new reference sheet (NSFW btw): https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43787661/Important message related to above: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachme.....D_A_THREAT.png
The entire D&D group
Chipotle
Burritos
And many more Lads from the Lad’s Landing.
(This was still 2 pages god dammit)
Happy New Year :3