First off, I want to apologize for not posting much recently, stories or updates. December kicked my ass pretty bad mentally and I'm only just starting to come back from it.

I'll start this off with the important stuff. I probably won't be opening up commissions for January, or at least not until closer to the end of the month. I'm sorry for those waiting to get one. And for those few I still owe something to, don't worry, I will get a story to you when I can. I'm very, VERY sorry for the delay.

Now for the part you can pretty much ignore. I just... need to say this somewhere...

December just... sucked. It is always a pretty bad month for me. Some abandonment issues I have never really grown out of always creep back up. The last few years I've been able to mostly ignore it thanks to having a great distraction at the end. For 6 years, I used to work as the massage therapist at a convention, and that was always a good time. Well, I retired from that career at the end of 2019, because after almost 12 years as an LMT, my body just can't do it anymore. Arthritis is a bitch, as is getting old in general. Still was perfect timing as the world fell apart 3 months later anyway. 2020 I was able to kind of ignore the usual depression as... well, the world was still kind of in shambles.

Though also in 2020, I stopped trying to do my Twitch thing, because after 4 years of that... So, January 1st, 2021, I started... this account. A fresh start, going back to my old hobby of writing. It's mostly worked out. However... there was nothing to distract me this time. So... I think years of putting off depression crashed back all at once. The shit that happened at the end of October didn't help. It kind of ruined November, too.

To add to that, I've been trying to work on a day schedule... because that's when my friends are around and because there is basically nothing to do at night in my town. Even the bars are closed by 2am (though I don't drink). This is a problem, because I am naturally nocturnal. I literally have a reversed circadian rhythm (that thing the body does where you get more tired when it's dark). Pushing myself to a diurnal cycle has... kind of been destroying me. I'm working at it. After almost 38 years, you think I'd have figured it out by now.

Then there's that last part there. I will be 38 this year. I'm feeling... old before I'm old. Already having arthritis doesn't help. Being a late Gen-Xer in a community of mostly younger people also doesn't help. Hell, next year will be the 20th anniversary of me leaving high school. This year is the 15th anniversary of me graduating from my vocational school. I'm closer to 40 than 30, and I still live at home.

So yeah. All of that, and a few other things have been kind of crushing me lately. I meant to put some of this into a vent story, but I haven't been able to get anything I'm happy with out in weeks. I don't want to put out bad quality work, and I certainly don't want to charge anyone for sub-par work, either. So, I'm going to keep trying to work on me for a bit. Try to get myself back in order. I just wanted to say something to everyone so you don't think I up and vanished.

If all goes well, I'll be back to posting my smut and snuff again soon. I have ideas for stories, I just need to get to writing them with some semblance of quality.