Meh, since this year is now 2022 as a new year, I'm not really feeling like myself honestly. You know guys, after I got sick badly during Christmas day in December, I wasn't feeling myself for the past few weeks now. To be completely honest with you guys and my friends, I haven't post any of my art for the past few months now after a user who should not be name on here from Discord who claims my art is too lazy and weak which I get understand what that user is talking about. I really hate to admit this, but I was trying to make some lineart styles and make one of my OCs in IbisXpaint a bit more better style like this user OC on the Sonic Fanon wiki but my heart tells me it won't happen and I'm a little jelly over that style honestly. https://sonicfanon.fandom.com/wiki/Byte_the_Goat

Anyway, I still haven't feel like myself for the past few weeks now and as of today. I did told you guys and explain a few reasons about my depression on why I feel that way since summer of 2019. When I was completely sick a few weeks ago with the flu, I just feel weak and lonely that something is stabbing me in my chest. It just feels like I'm suffering from my loneliness a bit further and continue to lose to it without nothing in front of me. Besides, after I was feeling better from the flu, I haven't ate anything for 3 days this week, don't feel like myself, haven't draw anything, haven't upload any of my sprite videos and have not got my appetite back yet. I do have real life friends and family's like people do out there, but it feels like something is truly missing for me that I have not yet experience. I really haven't found that special something for me yet out there and Its really hard to find that special piece for me. I really don't know what it is on what it missing for me. But, Its really hard to find that last puzzle piece. I been thinking about that too much.

Its hard to look for that puzzle piece during this outbreak and I really can't completed the puzzle without that last piece in place. I just don't know what that last piece is and I really don't know what it means for searching for that last piece. I'm just trying to figured it out and find that special puzzle piece I'm looking for. It might have something to do with me finding that special something out there for me which I can't find yet so I can see what it means to find that last piece to the puzzle. Its like solving a riddle. Friends, family that I have and one special something unknown that I can't figure it out yet and don't have yet. I really don't know what it is. I'm trying to find this last piece of the puzzle and solve this riddle so I can unlock it and get that last puzzle piece. I know some Sonic artists and gamers out there have a special and precious puzzle piece with them on YouTube and Twitter who appear in a live stream or gaming video with them or do their thumbnail art for them for there videos just to make them or that person feel a bit special.

Most of them have that special puzzle piece that they have with them, but not me which I have not find that yet. Its basically all over social media sites. It just feels like I feel unappreciated around other social media sites and in real life. Its like being stuck in people's shadow who doesn't understand the proper values. I just feel worthless, pathetic and a loser. It feels like I almost feel disgusted with myself for making that bad mistake I did back in 2016 which I can't say it. I just feel unwelcome here and I just feel really bad for myself for things gone a bit worse for myself. We all been through some tough times and bad times, but for me, this is really different.

Ever since COVID-19 first started back in 2020, it just made me depression and lonely even more now because of it. Yes we all hated this stupid outbreak so much and we are trying to get through to it. As for this new Omicron variant, it just make things really worse for us. The outbreak just caused me to feel sorry for myself for feeling very lonely. No good things will never happen to me. Nothing will. I guess things will never get back to normal anytime soon and I guess I will never be the same anytime soon. I just feel unlucky and an idiot. I'm just a stupid, stupid idiot who is not welcome anywhere and can't reach the light. I'm just a guy who can't break the chain who is lost in the darkness.

But, I am just a guy who will beat this and find that last puzzle piece which I'm still trying to solve so I can figure out what it means that is missing for me. Maybe I can still can. I really don't want this loneliness continues for me forever and I don't want to be broken by this. My heart tells me that last special puzzle piece is still out there for me which I still can't figure out and trying to solve it so I can know what that means on what is missing for me.

I will reply to any comments that you guys left out a month or so from my other journals. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfwhJLViIig