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Friendly Beach rules and guidelines
4 years ago
Friendly Beach rules and guidelines
ADULTS ONLY. NO PETS. Pets and children tend to annoy the animals, and then they tend to disappear.
No one needs the hassle.
Rule Zero: Most of the people who come here never fuck an animal or end up inside one. If all you want
to do is surf or beachcomb, there is no rule against that. The rest of these rules are for everyone else.
Most of the really squicky stuff happens under the pier. Don't be shocked if you go there and see...things.
Rule 1. Some local animals are more challenging lovers than others. Plan how you're getting around a
“That's never going to fit” or “I didn't bring the right tool for this job” problem. The animals know
what's going on. You'll work it out.
Rule 2. Rent a translator (rebreather) mask if you want to talk to the animals. The animals here are
unusually smart and some can understand you even without a mask, but you won't be able to understand
them without a mask or other means. Above the water, translation apps for phones are available.
Rule 3. Get to know your prospective lover or predator before you commit. It prevents
misunderstandings.
Rule 4. Don't offer yourself as lover or prey to an animal unless you mean it. A good number of them will
take you up on it and once they start, they are going to want to finish. And don't complain to the beach
patrol afterward. Your right to complain about the situation you got yourself into ends with the burp or
when you let that otter climb on top of you.
Rule 5. Don't expect to get your stuff back if it gets swallowed. There are lockers near the beach,
including code lock lockers. Key lockers are available but there's the obvious problem of “My key is
inside that dolphin”. Plan ahead.
Rule 7. You can buy digestible clothing on the pier. Think of the poor animal and what will happen to your
shoes before you stick your head in anyone's mouth. With this, the lockers and the changing rooms you
can be considerate to the animals and make sure you get your stuff back.
Rule 8. Not everyone is that considerate. You can buy “recovered” clothing on the pier. Don't worry, it's
been washed. Thoroughly.
Rule 9. Once it's swallowed, it stays swallowed. Only under extraordinary circumstances will an animal be
asked to cough a swallowed person up. This is to prevent shenanigans such as someone with devious plans
for an exact (but dead) copy of themselves.
Rule 10. Some beach denizens will flirt (or nibble) aggressively. If that flirting or nibbling makes you
uncomfortable, it's time to leave, or to ask them to stop. If your feet are in their mouth and you're not
into that it's DEFINITELY time to ask them to stop.
Rule 11. If your face is in someone's gullet, it's probably too late to say “no,” Ask for feet-first if you
want part of the experience, but want to retain the ability to ask them to stop. (This works best with
the hybrids. Some animals will decide they can't understand you at the most inconvenient moment.)
Rule 12. This is a friendly beach. It is the ONLY friendly beach where people reform when eaten. Some
locals take that to mean they can take advantage of visitors. Rules 4, 10 and 11 are relevant.
Rule 13: Most of the rules boil down to “Know what you're getting into before you do.” Talk to the
locals. See who's safe and fun to visit with. Decide what you want to do and how far you want to go
before you get yourself into a situation where the choice is no longer yours.
Rule 14. There are several hybrids on the beach. They are the result of people not using protection. It is
very, very unlikely that an animal can knock up a human or vice versa. But since most of the animals have
some Mer ancestry, it's not impossible. A female animal isn't going to care if you knock her up, but you
can't get child support from a sea lion. Condoms for local animals and instructions as to how to put them
on are available on the pier. So are “score cards” for keeping track of your accomplishments.
Note: Many of these rules apply to Tame Camp, except people don't reform there. Most of these rules
also apply to other friendly beaches and similar places except that here, being eaten is anything from a
fun pastime to a momentary inconvenience. Because of this, as rule 12 mentions, some denizens think it is
all right to take liberties. If that happens, report it. Between the beach patrol and the other animals,
who don’t want their sweet deal messed with, offenders are convinced to mend their ways or leave.
Particularly bad offenders will be dealt with by either the patrol or the other animals.
ADULTS ONLY. NO PETS. Pets and children tend to annoy the animals, and then they tend to disappear.
No one needs the hassle.
Rule Zero: Most of the people who come here never fuck an animal or end up inside one. If all you want
to do is surf or beachcomb, there is no rule against that. The rest of these rules are for everyone else.
Most of the really squicky stuff happens under the pier. Don't be shocked if you go there and see...things.
Rule 1. Some local animals are more challenging lovers than others. Plan how you're getting around a
“That's never going to fit” or “I didn't bring the right tool for this job” problem. The animals know
what's going on. You'll work it out.
Rule 2. Rent a translator (rebreather) mask if you want to talk to the animals. The animals here are
unusually smart and some can understand you even without a mask, but you won't be able to understand
them without a mask or other means. Above the water, translation apps for phones are available.
Rule 3. Get to know your prospective lover or predator before you commit. It prevents
misunderstandings.
Rule 4. Don't offer yourself as lover or prey to an animal unless you mean it. A good number of them will
take you up on it and once they start, they are going to want to finish. And don't complain to the beach
patrol afterward. Your right to complain about the situation you got yourself into ends with the burp or
when you let that otter climb on top of you.
Rule 5. Don't expect to get your stuff back if it gets swallowed. There are lockers near the beach,
including code lock lockers. Key lockers are available but there's the obvious problem of “My key is
inside that dolphin”. Plan ahead.
Rule 7. You can buy digestible clothing on the pier. Think of the poor animal and what will happen to your
shoes before you stick your head in anyone's mouth. With this, the lockers and the changing rooms you
can be considerate to the animals and make sure you get your stuff back.
Rule 8. Not everyone is that considerate. You can buy “recovered” clothing on the pier. Don't worry, it's
been washed. Thoroughly.
Rule 9. Once it's swallowed, it stays swallowed. Only under extraordinary circumstances will an animal be
asked to cough a swallowed person up. This is to prevent shenanigans such as someone with devious plans
for an exact (but dead) copy of themselves.
Rule 10. Some beach denizens will flirt (or nibble) aggressively. If that flirting or nibbling makes you
uncomfortable, it's time to leave, or to ask them to stop. If your feet are in their mouth and you're not
into that it's DEFINITELY time to ask them to stop.
Rule 11. If your face is in someone's gullet, it's probably too late to say “no,” Ask for feet-first if you
want part of the experience, but want to retain the ability to ask them to stop. (This works best with
the hybrids. Some animals will decide they can't understand you at the most inconvenient moment.)
Rule 12. This is a friendly beach. It is the ONLY friendly beach where people reform when eaten. Some
locals take that to mean they can take advantage of visitors. Rules 4, 10 and 11 are relevant.
Rule 13: Most of the rules boil down to “Know what you're getting into before you do.” Talk to the
locals. See who's safe and fun to visit with. Decide what you want to do and how far you want to go
before you get yourself into a situation where the choice is no longer yours.
Rule 14. There are several hybrids on the beach. They are the result of people not using protection. It is
very, very unlikely that an animal can knock up a human or vice versa. But since most of the animals have
some Mer ancestry, it's not impossible. A female animal isn't going to care if you knock her up, but you
can't get child support from a sea lion. Condoms for local animals and instructions as to how to put them
on are available on the pier. So are “score cards” for keeping track of your accomplishments.
Note: Many of these rules apply to Tame Camp, except people don't reform there. Most of these rules
also apply to other friendly beaches and similar places except that here, being eaten is anything from a
fun pastime to a momentary inconvenience. Because of this, as rule 12 mentions, some denizens think it is
all right to take liberties. If that happens, report it. Between the beach patrol and the other animals,
who don’t want their sweet deal messed with, offenders are convinced to mend their ways or leave.
Particularly bad offenders will be dealt with by either the patrol or the other animals.
Surprised there isn't "watch out for whales"
"Pets and children tend to annoy the animals, and then they tend to disappear. No one needs the hassle."
First thing I imagined was... Well, me as my peli-self looking at the sign and going "Aww... But what if you like the hassle?"
Followed by images of small and/or PG preds all lined up being disappointed to learn there aren't any "family days" like there are at the Camp.
Followed by thoughts of there being a pet hotel and a daycare nearby. With most of them resembling the ball room at Itchy & Scratchy Land. Only, you know, with one vorish twist or another.
Also seems like a great place to visit for me and my species-swapping self... the local animals and anthros seem predispositioned to be more likely to offer up a mouthful of genetic material for me to 'try on' a given species.
Jeff very carefully separates his work and his sex life so he won't get distracted on duty. He collects phone numbers for after his shift but while many have offered to climb the lifeguard tower and suck him off in his seat, he takes his job seriously.
And I'm glad they sell digestible clothes! That's really often an un-thought of problem. SO many fabrics can be so harsh on an unsuspecting predator. Like a *pair of jeans*! Why, those might long out-live the person wearing them, and could easily get all wadded up and stuck at the start of the small intestine, causing a real--
duo-denim problem.
(Duodenum)
...Alright sorry, I couldn't resist that.
I wonder if they'd be a private service, or if they'd be paid by the beach for their time. The former would have trouble, since--well. If a client decides they want to glop them down, it'd screw up their whole schedule--
Callie reaches down a sea lion's throat in one story to retrieve a swallowed person's bikini and key. (The sea lion was full or else she would have gotten swallowed.)
They've had to call a vet a time or three to endoscope things out of preds. Luckily people don't tend to wear bulky clothes to the beach but shoes are a frequent offender.