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Update: Patreon, Commisions, and refunds (PLEASE READ)
3 years ago
❤️╭━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╮❤️ TW DEATH
Regarding Patreon / Bases:
Things have been a bit slow regarding my Patreon, I've been having some personal issues regarding self-confidence and honestly loathing around a lot, and being depressed. It's a mixture of personal issues + grieving. I've been feeling like I am not allowed to be as depressed as I am, like it shouldn't have hit me as hard as it did..but it did and I have no understanding of how you're supposed to move past it. I had all these 'dreams' or 'plans' of what I had wished to do with my cousin as I grew up and knowing I'll never get to experience those moments with him…like he was here one moment and then..vanished.
My head can't really wrap around it.
I don't think it's appropriate to share the gritty details surrounding both of my cousin's death, I don't think it's responsible, but it's something I haven't really gotten to speak to anybody about, and the tiny details are what really shake me up. But it all feels vague when I have to tip-toe around it...
I don't know.
But for right now, I have been making additions to my "Peace Out" Base and I plan to release an update for it soon, as I said this update will be free for anybody who's purchased or was previously a part of the Patreon, you do not have to stay subscribed at all to receive the next major update.
I also have another base coming out, I kind of mentioned it in a discord channel already, but it will be based on this linework:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45877311/
I've already cleaned up the lineart to prepare it for a public release, but I plan to release the peace out update before this one!
I plan to launch my patreon exclusive giveaway soon as well, but I plan to do this after more of my commissions have at least made further progress or completed, I feel like it'd be disrespectful to patient commissioners if I launched a giveaway whilst their still waiting, which is what I'd like to address next.
Commissions:
My commissions have been at a bit of a stand-still, and it's for reasons as mentioned above, but also majorly has to do with perfectionism. I've had a couple of friends inform me (not in a rude way, just insight) that my commissions tend to look 'different' from my adoptables, they're usually drawn differently and don't have the same type of ?passion? to them as my adopts, I feel like this has a lot to do with my perfectionism.
I'm going to try avoiding the word anxious because I feel like it lost its meaning and is used to describe everything, but I feel unconfident while working on commissions. Despite knowing I have no set 'art style' and I know a lot of people commission me knowing that I don't. I feel as if I have to make the exact replica of a adopt I previously drew. Which is r e a l l y hard to do when I draw adopts without putting any major thoughts behind it.
The perfect way to describe it is if you have ever seen the movie "Black Swan". If not, or if you have but forgot what the basis of the movie is. It's basically the main lead is an extreme perfectionist, she does everything right and is too worried about letting herself lose (Which is perfect for the 'white swan' role). While her "competition" is all about letting herself go and being careless in nature, but in a way that comes off as passionate and real. (Which is perfect for the 'black swan' role.)
The director wants the main lead to embody BOTH the black and white swan, one which is perfect, and the other who is careless (but again, in a good way).
I feel when I draw adopts, I'm the black swan, I'm careless, I do what my mind thinks is right and I don't feel like I'm trying to prove anything to anybody else, it's simply me and what I like, and if others like that, then the more the merrier.
But while doing commissions, I want to be perfect. Everyone has to like it, especially the person I'm performing for, but what exactly do they like? Sure they told me what they wanted but what careless art style of mine are they wanting me to replicate? How do I replicate carelessness and passion, whilst also having to follow certain rules??
Because of this, I stall, I make a line, erase it, I do an entire drawing, then I erase it. It feels like no matter what I do it's never as passionate as when I have no rules to follow.
So, what am I going to do about this?
I think, at least what's been working for me now, is that I'm going to stop pressuring trying to be so hard on myself, SOMETHING, is better than nothing at all and I know that's how a lot of commissioners probably feel. I decided that it's OK if I erase a dozen times, as long as I'm doing something and making any progress, even if it's a dozen rough drafts, once I lose myself into that passion, I will continue from there.
With that being said, I'll be trying to make progress on a lot of my commissions soon, and please be aware that you will probably receive one sketch, and then probably something completely different a couple of days later. The sketch should not and will not be determined as the final product, just a vision of what direction my mind is going in. If you like it, it lets me know I can continue in that direction without fretting if I should be doing something different, and please, for my sake, let me know if you don't like something. I don't charge more for changes and it lets me know if I'm doing something wrong.
Refunds:
I've had a couple of refunds pending, mainly regarding my Christmas YCH that had to be scrapped due to my cousin's deaths and funerals. I have my tax refund coming in within the next 21 days and I'll use it to refund everyone all at once, IF not earlier then. Money has been tight lately and I've been drawing less, again due to everything stated above. My account balance has been quite literally sitting at $2.55 cent for a couple of weeks now, and the second I sell adopt, its immediately having to be put forward to a bill that's already past due.
With that being said, I have not forgotten what I owe you, and I apologize for all of the delays and excuses, I just want to do what's right and stop lingering in the past over things I couldn't change or fix, its simply time to start moving on.
Regarding Patreon / Bases:
Things have been a bit slow regarding my Patreon, I've been having some personal issues regarding self-confidence and honestly loathing around a lot, and being depressed. It's a mixture of personal issues + grieving. I've been feeling like I am not allowed to be as depressed as I am, like it shouldn't have hit me as hard as it did..but it did and I have no understanding of how you're supposed to move past it. I had all these 'dreams' or 'plans' of what I had wished to do with my cousin as I grew up and knowing I'll never get to experience those moments with him…like he was here one moment and then..vanished.
My head can't really wrap around it.
I don't think it's appropriate to share the gritty details surrounding both of my cousin's death, I don't think it's responsible, but it's something I haven't really gotten to speak to anybody about, and the tiny details are what really shake me up. But it all feels vague when I have to tip-toe around it...
I don't know.
But for right now, I have been making additions to my "Peace Out" Base and I plan to release an update for it soon, as I said this update will be free for anybody who's purchased or was previously a part of the Patreon, you do not have to stay subscribed at all to receive the next major update.
I also have another base coming out, I kind of mentioned it in a discord channel already, but it will be based on this linework:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45877311/
I've already cleaned up the lineart to prepare it for a public release, but I plan to release the peace out update before this one!
I plan to launch my patreon exclusive giveaway soon as well, but I plan to do this after more of my commissions have at least made further progress or completed, I feel like it'd be disrespectful to patient commissioners if I launched a giveaway whilst their still waiting, which is what I'd like to address next.
Commissions:
My commissions have been at a bit of a stand-still, and it's for reasons as mentioned above, but also majorly has to do with perfectionism. I've had a couple of friends inform me (not in a rude way, just insight) that my commissions tend to look 'different' from my adoptables, they're usually drawn differently and don't have the same type of ?passion? to them as my adopts, I feel like this has a lot to do with my perfectionism.
I'm going to try avoiding the word anxious because I feel like it lost its meaning and is used to describe everything, but I feel unconfident while working on commissions. Despite knowing I have no set 'art style' and I know a lot of people commission me knowing that I don't. I feel as if I have to make the exact replica of a adopt I previously drew. Which is r e a l l y hard to do when I draw adopts without putting any major thoughts behind it.
The perfect way to describe it is if you have ever seen the movie "Black Swan". If not, or if you have but forgot what the basis of the movie is. It's basically the main lead is an extreme perfectionist, she does everything right and is too worried about letting herself lose (Which is perfect for the 'white swan' role). While her "competition" is all about letting herself go and being careless in nature, but in a way that comes off as passionate and real. (Which is perfect for the 'black swan' role.)
The director wants the main lead to embody BOTH the black and white swan, one which is perfect, and the other who is careless (but again, in a good way).
I feel when I draw adopts, I'm the black swan, I'm careless, I do what my mind thinks is right and I don't feel like I'm trying to prove anything to anybody else, it's simply me and what I like, and if others like that, then the more the merrier.
But while doing commissions, I want to be perfect. Everyone has to like it, especially the person I'm performing for, but what exactly do they like? Sure they told me what they wanted but what careless art style of mine are they wanting me to replicate? How do I replicate carelessness and passion, whilst also having to follow certain rules??
Because of this, I stall, I make a line, erase it, I do an entire drawing, then I erase it. It feels like no matter what I do it's never as passionate as when I have no rules to follow.
So, what am I going to do about this?
I think, at least what's been working for me now, is that I'm going to stop pressuring trying to be so hard on myself, SOMETHING, is better than nothing at all and I know that's how a lot of commissioners probably feel. I decided that it's OK if I erase a dozen times, as long as I'm doing something and making any progress, even if it's a dozen rough drafts, once I lose myself into that passion, I will continue from there.
With that being said, I'll be trying to make progress on a lot of my commissions soon, and please be aware that you will probably receive one sketch, and then probably something completely different a couple of days later. The sketch should not and will not be determined as the final product, just a vision of what direction my mind is going in. If you like it, it lets me know I can continue in that direction without fretting if I should be doing something different, and please, for my sake, let me know if you don't like something. I don't charge more for changes and it lets me know if I'm doing something wrong.
Refunds:
I've had a couple of refunds pending, mainly regarding my Christmas YCH that had to be scrapped due to my cousin's deaths and funerals. I have my tax refund coming in within the next 21 days and I'll use it to refund everyone all at once, IF not earlier then. Money has been tight lately and I've been drawing less, again due to everything stated above. My account balance has been quite literally sitting at $2.55 cent for a couple of weeks now, and the second I sell adopt, its immediately having to be put forward to a bill that's already past due.
With that being said, I have not forgotten what I owe you, and I apologize for all of the delays and excuses, I just want to do what's right and stop lingering in the past over things I couldn't change or fix, its simply time to start moving on.
RosalynGlawen
~rosalynglawen
I’m so sorry everything has been rough on you hun. You do whatever you need to get where you feel comfortable and happy with yourself! I hope something comes along to make everything even just the slightest bit easier for you hun!
