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Sh** just got serious
16 years ago
I see now why there are no turkeys on FA :o
I don't normally do this but I need a form of release...
I'm graduating tomorrow. I've been so busy with a lot of things because I was projected too early for graduation. Been pretty stressful. Thinking about where I'm going and what I'm going to do when I get out. That's IF I get out.
I planned on going through advanced training after this but they accept students in January and being I was nearing completion, someone took it upon themselves to make the decision to send me out of here fearing I would finish and not have anything productive to do with myself until January (or so they say). I could have slowed down even though I wasn't finished or going to anytime soon and so I ended up having to rush to get finished by October and it was pretty late September I found out about this because they have been telling me I was projected for November.
Now that advanced training, college, or transferring is out of the question, I have nothing else to do but go back to my sis or father (I choose my sis) and find a job. They live in a mountain area where there's barely a city or a large population in site making job search difficult.
My sis has been having problems with her husband for the past few years and keep running back to him every time after swearing to me she's leaving him. THEN I hear she's having ANOTHER child!!! I mean WTF!!? They are barely surviving now! Now none of them work and because I'm coming back, they keep talking about how soon I can get a job like I'm going to be supporting them. I have my own agenda and I couldn't even if I wanted to. I mean I will help out a little but I'm not doing everything. I HATE it when people use me (it's happened too many times before). I'm SO fed up with this. Everytime I need them, they never pull through. I wanted them to see my thriller performance which we did last weekend and this weekend. We were doing 5-6 shows a night so they could have made at least one. But no, I didn't let it get to me. I try not to make a big deal out of things. I ask them to make it to my graduation ceremony tomorrow but yet they say they'll try (TRY) to get here afterwards. WHY THE HELL ARE THEY WAITING TIL AFTER!! The steam is seaping out of me and I'm afraid I can't stop it. It takes me a while to get to this point and there's a lot of things that has gotten me far enough. THen they have the nerve to ask me to pay for the gas to get here.
Do I have a right to be upset? I mean no, I'm not complaining to them or being dissagreable, I just told them to get here when they can, as long as they get me tomorrow or I will be forced to take a bus the next day and I have a lot to carry. I wouldn't have had a lot but because of all the crap I had to do to prepare for my graduation moment, I couldn't go visit them to take some of my things over early on. I hate when plans don't come together or when people act like they don't give a **** about you and act like there was nothing they could do instead of tell the truth. I hate when people lie to me and make me seem like the bad guy when I say something about it or if something goes wrong.
I asked before about if they would be able to pick me up last week but they keep saying something's wrong with the car. Something's ALWAYS wrong with the car when someone asks for their assistance unless it's one of his family members. He suggested that he could contact a friend but he couldn't know at the moment so I couldn't sign up to leave the following day. Then the next day i hear that my sister has been trying to call me because they were coming to get me. I was shocked because I wasn't even ready and there was no way I could have left without signing a pass and it was too late. Then she had the nerve to hollar at me because they had to turn around and go back. I never done anything wrong to anyone yet I am treated like a stranger who no one can stand or trust. I feel like I'm being a burden to them which I warned them about before I decided to move up there with them. My dad wasn't going to keep me around. They said it was okay (they actually urged me to come) but now it's like they don't want me around. How could he choose his brothers when I clean their house everytime I come by because it's so messy and his brothers don't do anything but sit around and play video games with him or watch movies and eat all the food. I watch the baby when they need to or run arrends. I even drove for them when his license was suspended and he got caught trying to drive to Philly and I'm not even familiar with PA to drive comfortably. He never asks to borrow my things and he destroys them and doesn't man up to his mistakes. Just gives more excuses and my sister plays along taking his side knowing how uncomfortable I am with people going in my things when I'm not around. I'm not stengy, I just don't trust him that well and look at the result.
I'm tired of having to depend on people when I can never get a bit of respect from anyone I come across. People say I'm too soft but the moment I change up, I'm a horrible person for it when they are no better themselves. I'm sick of the guilt being put on me for things that aren't even my fault. No one in my family is dependable or can keep their word and because I don't know what I can do yet before I can live as an independant home owner.
If anyone knows, please tell me! For living in PA. I can't take it, I really can't. If you have information, please share. I'm losing it in this loop of unfortunate events. I tried everything I could think of to help it but there's something I'm missing, something I'm lacking that could help me through life. Share your thoughts... what do you think?
I'm graduating tomorrow. I've been so busy with a lot of things because I was projected too early for graduation. Been pretty stressful. Thinking about where I'm going and what I'm going to do when I get out. That's IF I get out.
I planned on going through advanced training after this but they accept students in January and being I was nearing completion, someone took it upon themselves to make the decision to send me out of here fearing I would finish and not have anything productive to do with myself until January (or so they say). I could have slowed down even though I wasn't finished or going to anytime soon and so I ended up having to rush to get finished by October and it was pretty late September I found out about this because they have been telling me I was projected for November.
Now that advanced training, college, or transferring is out of the question, I have nothing else to do but go back to my sis or father (I choose my sis) and find a job. They live in a mountain area where there's barely a city or a large population in site making job search difficult.
My sis has been having problems with her husband for the past few years and keep running back to him every time after swearing to me she's leaving him. THEN I hear she's having ANOTHER child!!! I mean WTF!!? They are barely surviving now! Now none of them work and because I'm coming back, they keep talking about how soon I can get a job like I'm going to be supporting them. I have my own agenda and I couldn't even if I wanted to. I mean I will help out a little but I'm not doing everything. I HATE it when people use me (it's happened too many times before). I'm SO fed up with this. Everytime I need them, they never pull through. I wanted them to see my thriller performance which we did last weekend and this weekend. We were doing 5-6 shows a night so they could have made at least one. But no, I didn't let it get to me. I try not to make a big deal out of things. I ask them to make it to my graduation ceremony tomorrow but yet they say they'll try (TRY) to get here afterwards. WHY THE HELL ARE THEY WAITING TIL AFTER!! The steam is seaping out of me and I'm afraid I can't stop it. It takes me a while to get to this point and there's a lot of things that has gotten me far enough. THen they have the nerve to ask me to pay for the gas to get here.
Do I have a right to be upset? I mean no, I'm not complaining to them or being dissagreable, I just told them to get here when they can, as long as they get me tomorrow or I will be forced to take a bus the next day and I have a lot to carry. I wouldn't have had a lot but because of all the crap I had to do to prepare for my graduation moment, I couldn't go visit them to take some of my things over early on. I hate when plans don't come together or when people act like they don't give a **** about you and act like there was nothing they could do instead of tell the truth. I hate when people lie to me and make me seem like the bad guy when I say something about it or if something goes wrong.
I asked before about if they would be able to pick me up last week but they keep saying something's wrong with the car. Something's ALWAYS wrong with the car when someone asks for their assistance unless it's one of his family members. He suggested that he could contact a friend but he couldn't know at the moment so I couldn't sign up to leave the following day. Then the next day i hear that my sister has been trying to call me because they were coming to get me. I was shocked because I wasn't even ready and there was no way I could have left without signing a pass and it was too late. Then she had the nerve to hollar at me because they had to turn around and go back. I never done anything wrong to anyone yet I am treated like a stranger who no one can stand or trust. I feel like I'm being a burden to them which I warned them about before I decided to move up there with them. My dad wasn't going to keep me around. They said it was okay (they actually urged me to come) but now it's like they don't want me around. How could he choose his brothers when I clean their house everytime I come by because it's so messy and his brothers don't do anything but sit around and play video games with him or watch movies and eat all the food. I watch the baby when they need to or run arrends. I even drove for them when his license was suspended and he got caught trying to drive to Philly and I'm not even familiar with PA to drive comfortably. He never asks to borrow my things and he destroys them and doesn't man up to his mistakes. Just gives more excuses and my sister plays along taking his side knowing how uncomfortable I am with people going in my things when I'm not around. I'm not stengy, I just don't trust him that well and look at the result.
I'm tired of having to depend on people when I can never get a bit of respect from anyone I come across. People say I'm too soft but the moment I change up, I'm a horrible person for it when they are no better themselves. I'm sick of the guilt being put on me for things that aren't even my fault. No one in my family is dependable or can keep their word and because I don't know what I can do yet before I can live as an independant home owner.
If anyone knows, please tell me! For living in PA. I can't take it, I really can't. If you have information, please share. I'm losing it in this loop of unfortunate events. I tried everything I could think of to help it but there's something I'm missing, something I'm lacking that could help me through life. Share your thoughts... what do you think?
All I can do is pray things work out for you.
Maybe if was living on my own and I had a two bedroom apartment I would invite you.
When you live with other people they usually let you what is going to be expected of you upfront and if they told you that it was alright for you to live with them as long as you help contribute to household expenses then there's not much to argue about. They would be using you if you already lived with them and you were already paying to stay there and you had to pay all of the expenses and they spent their money on things not pertaining to the household (i.e going on vacations, dates, buying expensive things for themselves and not their child(ren) ).
We all need help at one point in time or another. I hated relying on help from others too but I learned that a real man knows that he can't do everything alone. If you can, buy your own things so you're not accused of being more of an expense to the household and when you become able to, repay the debt to them.
I'm pretty sure you wanted to be mad but I used to be a counselor and I tend to be neutral and reasonably fair so I hope I've given you something to think about.
It would be worse over at my fathers.
Your right but people tend to take advantage of me because I'm so generous.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you, hun.
"What would Terry Bogard do?"
And then you think about it for maybe 2 seconds, and that is this:
"Get Serious!" either that or "Bust Woooof!"
But I digress~
Keep marchin' strong. You'll push through this and you'll be able to overcome any adversary life throws at you, from asshole husbands of your sister's to kicking the ass of the man who killed your father,
Keep your chin up, and soldier on through~
Also: You survived school, Yeah, Collage is ahead, but It's infinitely less tedious~!
Keep movin' forward.
Be like Terry Bogard~ Be the WOOOOOOOF! XD