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UPDATE! BACK to fucking Ohio
3 years ago
Well it's not like I didn't see it coming. This is gonna be my life now... after all the shit, I MIGHT AS WELL ACCEPT IT.
Life is already stressful as is... and since I cannot IGNORE my problems, might as well take them in strides. Now the
reason I am going back to Ohio for a few days is to finalize mom's new place to stay and get her settled in. For those
who wants to know WHY I am taking a hands on approach, my mom lived most of her live in another country. Living in
the US is a COMPLETELY different kind of frying pan so there's gonna be a bit of 'holding her hand' before she gets use
to her simpler routine. She's gonna be lonely but I can't do SHIT about that. She had 4 fucking years to figure it out.
Granted, 2 of those years were because of the pandemic, BUT nontheless, she had her chance. She'll TAKE what I give,
and all the fucks in my reserves are depleting FAST. We had a LONG talk about it and as per usual, parents do NOT like
being talked down to or reminded of their fucked up mistakes. BUT I MADE SURE TO REPEAT IT LIKE SHE WAS A FUCKING
CHILD, because I do not want her to forget that every time something fucking happens, I was there to help her. If you
ever followed my journey, you'd see in my past journals/submissions, how I was doing base sales to help her get her
green card and the SHIT I WENT THROUGH for her to fuck it up at every corner. It took YEARS. 4 FUCKING YEARS. 5, because
she LIED to me on an interview and took another year of filing MORE paperwork to get it cleared up. So she's going to
suffer being ALONE for a bit, while I get MY shit, MY life together. I've fucking told them a THOUSAND times, if
I cannot help myself, I am in NO POSITION to help anyone else.
I'm just going to make sure she is comfortable and entertained for a while. Luckily she'll be getting a roommate of same age
and interests in crafting so they might have fun making new friends and just leaving me the hell alone for a while. Trying to
apply for jobs is hard but she's trying so we'll see how this goes....
THEN, I'll be back to SERIOUSLY finishing these owed commissions.
BET, BET SOMETHING ELSE FUCKING POPS UP AND I HAVE TO DIP AGAIN. BET. ~end mini rant/update
Life is already stressful as is... and since I cannot IGNORE my problems, might as well take them in strides. Now the
reason I am going back to Ohio for a few days is to finalize mom's new place to stay and get her settled in. For those
who wants to know WHY I am taking a hands on approach, my mom lived most of her live in another country. Living in
the US is a COMPLETELY different kind of frying pan so there's gonna be a bit of 'holding her hand' before she gets use
to her simpler routine. She's gonna be lonely but I can't do SHIT about that. She had 4 fucking years to figure it out.
Granted, 2 of those years were because of the pandemic, BUT nontheless, she had her chance. She'll TAKE what I give,
and all the fucks in my reserves are depleting FAST. We had a LONG talk about it and as per usual, parents do NOT like
being talked down to or reminded of their fucked up mistakes. BUT I MADE SURE TO REPEAT IT LIKE SHE WAS A FUCKING
CHILD, because I do not want her to forget that every time something fucking happens, I was there to help her. If you
ever followed my journey, you'd see in my past journals/submissions, how I was doing base sales to help her get her
green card and the SHIT I WENT THROUGH for her to fuck it up at every corner. It took YEARS. 4 FUCKING YEARS. 5, because
she LIED to me on an interview and took another year of filing MORE paperwork to get it cleared up. So she's going to
suffer being ALONE for a bit, while I get MY shit, MY life together. I've fucking told them a THOUSAND times, if
I cannot help myself, I am in NO POSITION to help anyone else.
I'm just going to make sure she is comfortable and entertained for a while. Luckily she'll be getting a roommate of same age
and interests in crafting so they might have fun making new friends and just leaving me the hell alone for a while. Trying to
apply for jobs is hard but she's trying so we'll see how this goes....
THEN, I'll be back to SERIOUSLY finishing these owed commissions.
BET, BET SOMETHING ELSE FUCKING POPS UP AND I HAVE TO DIP AGAIN. BET. ~end mini rant/update
She would occasionally ask me for money for bills or help run errands for her, and it became just turned into something I dreaded, a feeling that now crops up every time I see her calling even if she doesn't ask for something from me every time, I always worry that she's going to. She still does it, so I've been keeping her at arms length for the most part. Not because I love her any less, but because I have my own life to worry about and just like you said, I've gotta take care of my own shit first before I can even think about helping others. I do what I can, but I'm not going to overwork myself to solve her problems for her. Quite frankly, she made her bed.
Sorry, wasn't trying to hijack your journal-- just trying to offer some commiseration.
All the luck I have I be sending your way!! wiggles fingers magic like